The Rebel's Return (Red River) (11 page)

Dylan had done his best to look out for him. Being four years older, he’d made Aiden’s lunch for school until he was old enough to help out. Their childhood had been confusing and fucking sad. He’d been lost. Three guys in a house trying to run things. Some days he remembered eating just chips for lunch, or a couple crackers because their dad hadn’t gone to the grocery store in a week. But there was always liquor. Dad had never forgotten to go and buy himself liquor. They had gotten by well enough, but when high school started…things began to fall apart. Drugs, alcohol, it had lured them in, had given them their own escape. Troubled kids had found each other.

He lost his friendship with Dominic, his best friend, because Dominic played straight and narrow. Dominic was pissed at him for everything, but when he’d started dating Natalia, that had finished them off. When he was with Nat, he was always sober. For her, he’d have done anything to keep her. But that night of the DUI with Jake Manning, that had ended things. Dominic had told him to get the hell away from his sister, and give her a damn good reason why. And he had. He and Dylan knew it was time to leave town, time to try and get their shit together. He knew Dom was right—he wasn’t good enough for Natalia. He’d ruin her life. So he told her he’d cheated on her, knowing that would turn her off him. And to further drive the knife in her heart, he told her it was because she wouldn’t put out, and he couldn’t wait around for her.

It was the worst damn lie of his life. Seeing her cry, seeing her heart break in front of him made him feel like the biggest piece of crap. A crowd had formed around them during their breakup—it had been at a house party. Her stupid cousin, Francesca, had witnessed it, and so had Dominic. He’d never gotten over her. Yeah, they’d been young, but no woman had ever made him feel like she did. She made him believe in the good. She made him believe that everyone was redeemable if they wanted to be redeemed. If he could go back, he would have been stronger, he would have never used, never gotten into that car. And maybe then he could have held onto Nat. Maybe they would have gotten married, had a couple kids.

He glanced over at his father, sitting alone, staring at a picture of him and their mom on their wedding day. He must have been thinking the same type of thing. He must have been wishing she were still here.

The image of Nat walking through the house, giving his father food, made him cringe. She believed in him. She believed that their father was redeemable, even when they didn’t. He thought about what she’d tell him to do right now. She wouldn’t let him walk out of this room with his father like this.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “You, uh…you miss Mom a lot, I guess. Maybe you shouldn’t be hitting on all the women under forty in town.”

Holy. Shit. His father’s face crumpled, and then he covered it with his hands. His father was crying. He had never seen the man cry. He’d always yelled at them for crocodile tears. Men didn’t cry.

He shifted from one foot to the other, not knowing what to do. He cleared his throat. “Dad?”

His dad didn’t say anything.

He slowly approached him and then crouched down beside him. He heard the gentle sobbing. What should he do? Poke him?

He tapped him awkwardly on the shoulder. His father still didn’t say anything. Was this a side effect from radiation? He didn’t remember reading that in the info binder. “Dad, are you okay?”

“Those women…they’re nice to me, and I know they’d never want an old man like me, and that’s perfect. I don’t want them. I just don’t want any women my age hitting on me.”

He didn’t have the heart to tell the old man no woman a hundred years old or any age would want him in his current state.

“I had the perfect woman. I had it all,” he yelled, lifting his face, saliva in the corner of his mouth, his eyes almost shut. “I had the only woman I’ll ever want, and I lost it all. I lost her, and I’ll never have another chance at that again.”

He slowly lowered his hands, but motioned for that wedding photo on the credenza. Aiden brought it over. His father took it, his hands shaking. “If I die from this—”

“You’re not going to die.”

His father ignored him. “If I die, and I go and meet your mother again, what the hell am I going to say to her? I ruined the family she wanted so badly. She would have died for you boys. You were the apples of her eyes, and I…I spat on her dream and her memory. I’m so damned ashamed.”

Jesus. When his father started sobbing again, he slowly reached out to hug him. For a second, he braced himself thinking he’d be pushed away and mocked. But when his dad’s thin arms slowly hugged him back, emotion coursed through him. He held on to the father that he hadn’t hugged since he was so young. He breathed in the smell of the man that had given him life, that had, in his own way, tried to love him.

He pulled back after a moment. “Go after Natalia.”

Aiden swallowed hard, not breaking his intense stare. “What are you talking about?”

“I know. I know you love her, but you’re going to run out on her because you’re scared.”

He looked down. “I hurt her.”

“My boy’s not a damn cheat.”

Everything inside him stilled. His father had never said anything good about him growing up. He had no idea how his father could make a statement like that. He barely knew him. He looked up. “Dad…”

He clutched his shoulder and leaned forward, sweat beading his forehead. “Maybe you let them think you’re not good enough. But you’re good enough, boy. You go after her. You tell her you’re sorry for leaving, for everything. You tell her. You marry her.”

Aiden’s gut clenched, his voice caught somewhere inside, and it was too painful to speak. He shook his head and then spoke the crap he was too scared to admit to anyone. “What if I screw up? What if something happens to her? What if I fail her again?”

His dad clutched his shoulder. “You’re not me. I screwed up. Don’t take on my burdens, and don’t see yourself in me. You are not me.”

Aiden hung his head, feeling a weight lifting.

“You’re much stronger than I am, Aiden. You got your life together—I never did. I relied on booze, and you knew enough not to. Don’t go through life scared of taking chances. And don’t you dare take the blame for something you never did. Don’t let people think you’re that guy. I know you. You’re not weak, and you’re not a damn cheat. You love that girl.”

Jeezus.

“You marry her. Have some Italian bambinos and then when I meet your mother, I can tell her about our grandchildren.”

Aiden squeezed his eyes shut, and something that felt like a sob threatened to erupt from his chest. God, he did want a bunch of dark-haired, dark-eyed little kids running around in a big old house on the river. Holy crap. What was happening to him? He was turning into…Jake. He needed to turn this around, fast. He cleared his throat. “Well, getting married and kids are two different things.”

His father shrugged. “You’d make a good father, Aiden.”

Aiden looked away. Still too intense. “I guess I’ll have to buy some suits.”

“Yeah?”

“You know, they go to a lot of funerals and weddings.”

His father nodded wisely. “You’ll have to go to church on Sundays, too. Don’t tell them I’m an atheist.”

Aiden nodded. “They wouldn’t believe it anyway. Or they’d try and reform you. Buy you a rosary or something.”

His dad almost smiled. “At least after church you get to go home to the parents’ house and have a big Sunday lunch. They invited me a couple times.”

“Really?”

His dad nodded. “Homemade everything. Sauce, fresh pasta, meat, vegetables, dessert. Like a damn feast.
Every
week. Hell, I’d even go to church if I knew I’d get that as a reward after.”

Aiden laughed.

“They’re good people, the Puccinis.”

Aiden nodded. He was mentally making a list of what he needed to do this week to make it all happen. He needed to talk to his brother. He needed to talk to Jake and Quinn. He needed to talk with Sabrina—oh God—and somehow swear her to secrecy.

His father looked up at him. “And so are you. I never told you that you were good enough. I made you boys feel like you were worthless, and when it was time to believe in yourself, you didn’t. Well, I’m telling you now. Don’t waste the rest of your life thinking you’re not good enough. You’re good enough, boy. Now go and get that girl.”

Aiden blinked back the odd moisture buildup in his eyes.

His father smiled.

Chapter Twelve

The day of Francesca’s wedding arrived with thunder and a torrential downpour.

It was evil of Natalia to be thrilled. It was also evil of her to want to smile as her cousin shrieked about how the rain would ruin everything. Since it was so evil of her, she kept her thoughts and smile to herself. Instead, she dutifully sat at the head table with the rest of the bridal party and pretended to be interested in the speeches.

Her mind was on Aiden anyway, and how she’d let him in again only to have him trample all over her heart. How stupid and gullible could she be? Okay, so maybe things were different this time. He was going through some stuff…but how long did it take him to figure out if he wanted to be with her? Love shouldn’t be this hard.

She knew she loved him. With everything she had. She knew he was the man she was supposed to be with, and if he didn’t know that about her? Well, that meant they would never be together.

She knew he was here tonight. She had imagined they’d dance together. She’d fantasized about how he’d look in his suit, how he’d look at her. He looked better than in her dreams. She had avoided eye contact with him all night.

She wanted to ask him, more than anything, if Mrs. Jacobs’s theory was right. She wanted him to tell her it was. She wanted him to tell her that he’d never cheated on her, and that it had been some horrible mistake. What she couldn’t figure out was the why. Why would he let her believe that? Unless he’d been searching for an easy way out of Red River and out of their relationship.

“Time for the bride to take a tinkle.”

Natalia closed her eyes and prayed to God for a miracle, but she knew. Deep in her gut, her despicable cousin was going to ask her. She would love for Nat to have to hold up her dress and be held hostage in the washroom cubicle and listen to how wonderful her day was. The day had been…as obnoxious as Natalia could have imagined. Francesca was prancing around, smiling her fake smile every chance she got. She hated being vicious, but the wedding was just another one without anything original, nor any great love to speak about.

They were now at the head table, which had way too many arrangements with baby’s breath.

“Natalia, come and take me to the washroom!”

Natalia groaned inwardly and stood up, following her cousin away from the front of the hall and began the long walk to the restrooms. She didn’t dare look in Aiden’s direction, though she knew exactly where, and with whom, he was seated, and she also knew just how good he looked. He was sitting with the Manning crew—the brothers and their wives. He was wearing a navy suit and pale blue tie and crisp white shirt and looked so freaking good she could have cried when she first saw him. For as long as she’d known him, the man had worn jeans and T-shirts and leather jackets, and she had never even imagined what he’d look like in a suit. He should have looked awkward in formal attire. But, sadly for her, he didn’t look awkward at all. He looked beautiful. All his hard lines, tight muscles, tall body were showcased in what had to be a tailored suit. The blue only made his eyes stand out even more, and he’d even shaved for the event. God. Oh, and he’d been watching her. All day. Now, all night. It made her want to ditch every stupid preconceived principle she ever had and jump into his arms and finally let go.

She didn’t of course. Fool me once, and that whole spiel. Two men had cheated on her. She might as well resign herself to being single forever. She’d think about becoming a nun, but that seemed wrong. But she was open to revisiting that topic in twenty years if she still hadn’t found a man that could be faithful.

She followed Francesca through the washroom doors and waited while her cousin pursed her lips in front of the floor-length mirror and then proceeded to reapply her bright red lipstick that hadn’t faded at all.

“I want you to know how much it means to me that you’re my maid of honor, Nat.”

Natalia’s heart stopped for a moment. What was she saying? Was her cousin actually going to be normal and acknowledge what she’d done to her? She frantically tried to see if she had it within herself to immediately forgive her. Well, she was blood. They had known each other since they were born. It wasn’t her cousin’s fault that they didn’t share the same principles. Yes, she would forgive her.

“I know it must have been hard for you to witness the love and passion that Franco and I share.”

Natalia swallowed. It was an odd turn for an apology, but she stayed quiet, listening.

“Do you mind if we go into the stall? I’m dying to pee.”

Natalia nodded, helping her with her dress as she attempted sitting on the toilet seat with all those ruffles and lace.

Francesca turned, snapping her lipstick lid on, and looked at Natalia. “I understand it’s difficult to always be the girl that no one really wants. I know it must be hard to realize that even though you have your beliefs, guys just really think you’re a loser.”

Blood roared through her body and threatened to burst from her ears. She stared at her smug cousin and then flung her stupid dress at her, not even wincing as her piercing scream echoed through the marble washroom. “I’m done with you, Francesca!” she yelled, marching out of the room as best as her stilettos would allow. Of all the despicable people she had known, her cousin was the worst. Here she’d actually thought she’d been about to apologize. She didn’t even want to acknowledge the truth of what Francesca had said. Everyone did think she was a loser. Aiden. Really, he was the only one that she cared about, but she shouldn’t care what he thought about her.

She stormed out of the washroom and almost plowed down the man himself. Strong hands wrapped around her arms.

“Hey there, you okay? Or were you stuck in there with Mrs. Jacobs?”

She tried to smile and look flippant but she knew she didn’t pull it off. She also tried not to look alarmed when her cousin’s scream echoed out of the washroom. Aiden’s gaze darted toward the door. She wondered—somewhat shamefully—if her cousin had fallen into the toilet.

“I really need to get back to my bridesmaid duties,” she whispered, trying to ignore the ridiculous urge she had to run away with him. She wanted to get the hell out of there, hop on the back of his bike and leave all of this behind them, but that would mean that he was on her side—and he hadn’t been.

“I’ve wanted to get you alone all night,” he said in a deliciously deep voice.

“What’s the point? I mean, really? What’s the point of anything? You’ll just lure me in, make me fall in love with you again and then take off with some other woman.”

“Nat—” The sound of a door bursting open, followed by her name being yelled out by what sounded like a screeching cat, caused him to pause. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Francesca storming toward her. Natalia noticed a faint tinge of yellow on the bottom of her cousin’s dress. Oh, crap.

“I gotta run,” she said, then darted past Aiden and worked her way away from the crowd. She jostled through people, momentarily panicked as Mrs. Jacobs waved at her. She ducked behind the Manning brothers, grateful for their height, then she spotted the stage and tucked herself behind the curtains, breathing a sigh of relief. Thankfully the band was taking a break, and the stage was empty. After a few minutes, she heard the tinkling of glasses and knew—because she’d been forced to memorize the agenda for the night—that it was time for the bride’s and groom’s speeches.

She sat down with a massive sigh on the wooden stage and tried not to break down as she thought of Aiden. As her cousin droned on about the special love she and Franco shared, she tried not to remember her harsh words about how everyone thought she was a loser. That whole crowd out there…they all thought she was a loser? She was the person who actually followed the rules, not pretended to. And where had that gotten her?

She’d always prided herself on outsmarting her cousin, but tonight, leaving her on the toilet like that had been petty. Satisfying, yes, but petty. But she had so deserved it. She almost laughed, thinking of when she’d tell Sabrina…speaking of Sabrina, even her best friend had gone MIA. She hadn’t returned her texts from yesterday, and she knew she was here tonight, but she hadn’t been able to get a moment alone with her.

She stopped smiling when she heard clapping. The speeches were over. She couldn’t hide back here all night—the band would be restarting soon. She stood, taking a deep breath, and then held it when the curtains moved at one corner and Francesca appeared.

“I hope you didn’t think you could hide back here all night. I can’t believe you did that to me.”

As Natalia sat there and looked at her cousin, all her resolve not to be petty vanished. “Well, I can’t believe you slept with my boyfriend.”

“Are you still not over that? You can’t be jealous of me your entire life.”

“I’m not jealous of you. God, no way am I jealous of you and Franco. He’s as dumb as you are.”

“You’re just lashing out at me because you’re jealous and angry that you’re going to be an old spinister.”

It took Natalia a minute to figure out what her cousin was talking about. “
Spinster
. You mean
spinster
.”

Francesca shrugged, holding out her hand and admiring her giant diamonds.

“And you know what else? I’m done putting my own accomplishments down to try and keep your friendship. Done.”

Her cousin’s eyes narrowed on her. “What are you talking about?”

“I think you’re a lazy, disloyal, and frankly, slightly dimwitted person.”

“You little bitch.”

“Don’t speak to me like that. Our whole life, I’ve had to basically apologize for doing the right thing. I got good grades—you didn’t, so I had to downplay that. I got into every single university I applied to while you didn’t even graduate from high school, even though your parents gave you everything. I took over my parents’ bakery and expanded business while you barely held down a job, just looking for a guy to provide for you. You slept around and made fun of me for holding out. You slept with my
boyfriend
.”

Her cousin frowned, but didn’t show an ounce of remorse and walked forward, stopping within an inch of her. “You think you’re better than everyone. You and your stupid ideals. You want to know the real truth? You want to know why Franco slept with me? Because I’m real. I’m not some prude who would rather follow the rules than have some fun.”

“I don’t get why you care about my rules for myself. I don’t judge you. I don’t care that you’ve slept with at least two dozen guys and felt the need to tell me about it in detail. The only time I ever made a remark was when you slept with my boyfriend. You’re the one who’s judgmental. I don’t get you. We used to be
best friends
.” She hated that her voice cracked. For a moment she thought she’d gotten through to Francesca when her eyes widened a little instead of that vicious scowl.

“You want to know the real truth about Aiden? He cheated on you for the same reason. You weren’t enough for him. You actually think that something might come from him being back here? How many weddings have you attended in the last ten years since he’s been gone? Not one of them has been yours. I bet Aiden is going to leave here tonight without you and go home and screw some hot woman while you’re at home praying to the Virgin Mary how you hope he’ll kiss you.”

…

Ah hell
.

How could those two not have realized that Francesca’s mike was still on? The entire ballroom, comprised of at least three hundred Italians plus an additional one hundred other guests, sat at their tables, mouths hanging open in horror or amusement. The bride’s mother was currently doing the sign of the cross in rapid succession—that had begun when Natalia launched into her
you slept with my boyfriend and with at least two dozen guys
.

Aiden wasn’t going to let Natalia go down like this. Even though he was damn proud of her for finally letting Francesca have it, he knew she thought they were having a private conversation. He wasn’t going to witness the humiliation on her face when that curtain was finally whipped open. He also wasn’t going to be silent any longer. He had no idea where the hell Dom or Sabrina were, because he knew they wouldn’t have let Nat get humiliated like this.

His chair scraped against the marble floor as he stood, throwing his napkin on the table, and crossed the ballroom floor. He knew all eyes were on him as he made his way to the stage. He took the stairs two at a time, his heart pounding in his chest, but it was nothing in comparison to how it felt when he walked behind the curtain and saw Nat standing there, tears in her eyes, her face red. Franco was now standing there, between the women, obviously telling them that the guests had heard their argument. When her gaze landed on him, her face a mix of humiliation and betrayal, he knew there was only one way he could make this right for her. He owed her this. At the very least he owed it to her to do this in public instead of in private as he’d planned.

He walked over to the side and opened the curtain, a unified gasp from the guests and Nat, Francesca, and Franco. He didn’t give them a chance to leave. Instead, he took the mike off Francesca’s dress and stood in the middle of the stage. Natalia was staring at him like he’d lost his mind. Maybe it was true.

He stared at the crowd and swallowed. God, he hated people. He hated standing in front of a roomful of people that had already condemned him ten years ago, and again today. But what he hated even more than all that was seeing Natalia publicly humiliated.

“Hi, everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Aiden McCann.” He paused when a
woot woot
was hollered from the audience. He gave his dad a small wave of acknowledgment.