Authors: Dara Nelson
“
That’s the Mrs. Pearl I was waiting for,” he grinned as he walked over to me on the bed on his knees and wrapped his arms around me. “That’s the fighter I know is in there. We are going to love each other and we are going to be happy, because we are going to fight.” There was that wince again. “We’ll do whatever we need to do, go wherever we need to go, and we’ll do it together, no matter what happens, we will do it together,” he said, and was gasping now. We had ignited a hunger in both of us that had no bounds.
His mouth found mine and he sent a spark from the top of my head, down to my toes and everywhere in between. I grabbed his hand in mine, and nearly exploded before I had a chance to push him back on the bed and climb on. We were meant to be together, I knew that without a doubt and no one was going to take that away from me. I pushed my fear to the back of my mind as I clung to Matt and to the fact that this is exactly where I am supposed to be.
We stayed like that for two days. Neither of us wanted to stop, neither of us wanted it to end. We finally exhausted ourselves and just lay in each other’s arms. What Matt said next would change our lives.
“
Sarah?” he whispered.
“
Mmmmm?”
We both had closed our minds to everyone but each other, but we still felt like we had to whisper. You never knew who might be nearby.
“
Do you feel anything when you think about fighting the Elders? What I mean is, does it hurt?” he whispered.
I lifted my head and just stared at him for a second. “Are you serious?” I asked. I had no idea where this had come from.
“
Dead serious,” he replied.
“
Well,” I started, “I’ve thought about it before when they hurt me, and I’m thinking about it now. I’m thinking about stopping them, fighting them, ripping them limb from limb, tearing their heads off. But to answer your question, no, I don’t feel any pain when I’m thinking about it. Why? I saw you wince, Matt. Is that what this is all about?”
“
It’s something that I started to think might be a possibility when we were on our search. Something the Mexican priest said to me. He said the Elders control the change process not only to regulate our population, but also to stay in power. Something they do during the change creates a kind of… ummmm… trigger in us, is the best way I can think to describe it. A trigger that activates if we even consider rebelling against them. I felt it before when I first told you what I was, but it was only a dull ache and I could work through it and once I told you the pain went away. Now,” he gritted his teeth and visibly shuddered, “when I try to think about fighting them, my head feels like it’s going to explode.”
“
Stop thinking about it right now,” I said and he nodded his head. I went on, “Okay, so you think that because I was changed differently, that I don’t have this trigger?”
He nodded again so I kept talking, “So it must not be something that you can pass to me, because you have it and your blood helped change me.” Again he nodded. I stopped then and began mulling over an idea that was forming in my head. Could I do this? Could I bring myself to do this, for him? I took a deep breath and went on, “Do you think maybe I could help you eliminate or break the trigger in you if you cycled your blood through me?”
“
I don’t know, Sarah. What do you mean?” he stared at me, trying to figure out where I was going with this.
“
Well, your fangs still release during sex, correct?” I said.
“
All the time. Why?” he smiled at me.
“
Mine do too. What I thinking is, what if I fed, a lot, and then you bit me?” I held up my hand as he started to protest. “Look, you can’t kill me that way, not anymore. You bite me, I bite you. We do that several times and maybe I can “filter” out that trigger,” I stopped then. I was biting my lower lip because I wasn’t sure how he would react. And, truthfully, I was also terrified that he’d say yes.
“
I can see how that might work. But by feeding a lot, you DO know what that would mean, right?” he said.
I nodded my head, and tried not to think about it. To have enough in me for this to work I’d have to drink quarts, maybe even gallons of it. And since all vampires were on a closely monitored delivery schedule, we couldn’t use pints. Otherwise the Elders would notice the spike in our consumption. It would mean I’d have to kill. I shuddered and Matt pulled his arms tighter around me.
“
Are you sure you’re ready for that?” he whispered.
“
I’d be doing it to help you, so, yes, I’m sure,” I said while thinking, I hope I am.
“
But, honey, that’s something you never wanted to do. Not for any reason.” he said.
“
I know. But I knew that someday it might be something that I
needed
to do, either to survive or to save somebody. You need me to do this. And, because I need you to help me figure this out, then I need me to do this.”
I sat up quickly. “Look, we can’t plan anything if you’re in pain, and I can’t plan this alone, so we have to, no
I
have to, do this now, tonight,” I said, trying to sound a little more determined than I felt.
“
Tonight?” he whispered. “Are you sure?”
I nodded my head, but couldn’t look directly into his eyes. This I was definitely not sure of. I changed the subject to distract my mind. “We don’t want anyone to be suspicious, so tomorrow we need to keep our scheduled meetings and act like nothing’s changed. We have to have the upper hand in this or—” I stopped then because I didn’t want to think about the “or.”
“
Are you really sure, honey? Tonight?” he said. I nodded my head, hugged him and glanced at the clock. It was eight p.m. The best time to find the worst humanity had to offer was probably after midnight. Four hours to convince myself I could do this, that I had no choice. For him, it had to be enough time. For me, it had to work – I doubt I could handle the guilt if it didn’t.
We were both silent for those four hours. I showered and put on my sexiest dress, thinking it would help attract my prey, and we sat on the couch. He wrapped his arms around me as I stared out the window. “I love you, Sarah,” he whispered as he kissed my forehead.
“
I love you, too,” I said as I brought his hand up and kissed the back of it.
He stood up then and said, “Are you ready to go for a walk?”
I nodded, followed him to the door and took a deep breath as we stepped out into the night.
Chapter Five
We walked downtown, keeping to dark alleys and side streets until we arrived in an area where even the cops were afraid to go. Gangs were in charge down here. Gangs filled with horrible, blood-lusting people with a complete disregard for human life. I felt Matt’s hand tense in mine. “Do you smell it?” he whispered.
I inhaled deeply then my eyes flew open. “Yes,” I hissed, “Four blocks behind us, in a car with its lights off. Two of them. They’re searching for someone, stalking.”
I put my hand on Matt’s chest. “Look, you need to wait here, I have to do this on my own,” I pleaded to him. Our eyes locked. He wanted to protest but he knew I was right. He nodded his head and lifted my chin up so my lips met his, then he turned and ducked down the alley.
I continued walking as they approached. I heard when they saw me. I could hear them discussing me in the car, at first shocked that I was all alone, then planning what they would do to me, saying that they could still look for their other target (a rival gang leader) later. They quietly pulled to the curb, got out of the car and followed me. I had to make it look good, so I snuck a peak at them and then quickened my pace a bit, but they sped up more. They reached me in seconds and shoved me into another alley. I started to scream but one of them punched me in the face and then clapped his hand over my mouth. “Not one fucking sound, bitch.” he said. I dropped my head and acted dazed as one of them began groping me. They had me pinned against the wall, helpless, just like they always liked it. I saw in their minds that I was part of a long line of victims. “You want this. You know you do. Why else would you be out here alone, dressed like this? But, damn, you are one fine piece of ass.”
I squeaked out, “No, please, no,” as I waited for the right moment… and the courage to go through with this. Right now, despite their scent, despite my hunger, despite what they were doing, I didn’t have the courage that I needed to do what I was trying to do, despite the fact that the scent of their blood was triggering the strongest animal instinct in me that I had ever felt. Stronger even than when I was tested by the Elders. The vampire in me wanted to strike, the human in me wanted to run. But kill them? Could I really kill them? Me? A shiver ran through my body.
“
Shut up, bitch,” the dominant one said right before he slapped me. I groaned and he lifted my leg to his hip as he undid his zipper with his other hand. He moved closer to me and kissed me on the neck as he struggled to release himself from his pants. That was exactly what I was waiting for. I felt my fury surge as I felt his hand between my legs.
“
Never again,” I mumbled as I turned my head and sank my teeth into him, just as my right hand reached out and grabbed his friend’s neck. By the time the other saw his friend dropping to the ground, my fangs were in his neck too. Fifteen seconds, that’s all it took. Fifteen seconds and they were both gone. I felt stronger than I’d ever felt, I felt invincible, I felt powerful, I felt unstoppable. And then I felt the guilt hit. “Oh my God,” I groaned as I slumped to the ground and buried my face in my hands. Within seconds Matt’s arms were there and he was lifting me up. Carrying me, he took flight and raced home as I continually mumbled “What have I done? What have I done? Oh God, what have I done?”
He landed in the backyard and carried me through the door. He started to set me on the bed, but I mumbled, “No, not here, the shower, I have to wash them off of me first.” I could feel him as he stared at me for a second, wanting to ask what that meant but really not wanting to know the answer. He nodded his head and together we climbed into the shower.
We undressed each other under the steaming spray then he picked up the soap, lathered his hands and began massaging me. I told myself ‘you need to save him Sarah, you can cry later’ and it wasn’t long before I was responding to his touch. His mouth found mine and I wrapped my leg around his waist and pulled him close, as we began our amazing rhythm. After a while he grabbed my hand and when our scars (the matching scars that the Peruvian chief had given us that allow us to feel everything that the other is feeling when they touch) touched I could feel him getting close. I held my climax back as he pressed me against the wall. But when I felt him release and then felt his fangs sink into my neck, I thought I was going to explode. Oh my God, the ecstasy of it. Waves and waves of pleasure began pulsing through me and I bit down, taking back the blood he had just taken. The second I did this he threw his head back and cried out as another climax hit him, then he bit down again. Back and forth we went, wave after wave, passing the blood back and forth, until exhausted and with the first light of dawn streaming through the window, we collapsed to the shower floor. And then I cried.
He just held me for a long time. Then, as my sobs quieted, he finally reached his hand up to turn off the water then he quickly wrapped it back around me. I knew he was afraid to say anything. “I’m okay,” I whispered as I tried to stop crying.
He brushed the hair from my face and tried to smile, “No, you’re not sweetie.”
“
I will be,” I smiled weakly.
He tried to take my mind off of the guilt. “I know you will, honey, but that was… ummmm… wow,” he said.
“
I know,” I replied as I tried to smile. “We should’ve tried that a long time ago. The biting each other part, not the other part.”
“
Yeah, we will definitely have to do that again,” he smiled and leaned in to kiss me, but stopped when there was a knock at the door.
I was hurriedly throwing on a robe when I saw Matt smiling and shaking his head. “What?” I asked. “What’s so funny?”
“
You’re never going to believe who it is,” he laughed.
“
Who?” I said then it came to me. “What? No WAY! Did he actually learn how to knock?” I smiled and ran down the hall to open the door. “CARLOS!” I squealed and threw myself into his arms.
‘
Hot damn, Sarah. Hair’s wet. You’re naked under that robe,” he smiled as he hugged me. “If I knew I’d get this kind of response I would’ve started knocking a long time ago.”
“
Easy there boy,” Matt said from behind me, grinning from ear to ear.
“
Ahhh, you never let me have any fun,” he pouted. I turned and wrapped my arm around him and led him inside. As we walked in he kept staring at me.
“
What?” I finally said. “What?”
“
There’s something different about you,” he said. “You seem more alive, stronger… wait! You finally made your first,” but he stopped when I put my hand on his lips and shook my head.
“
No, please don’t say it,” I whispered.
“
What do you mean?” he said. “Don’t you want to brag?”
I glared at him. “No, I most definitely do not want to brag, Carlos. I did it to help Matt, not because I wanted to. I never wanted to, ever.” I buried my head in my hands causing me to miss the stern look that Carlos gave to Matt. Matt stubbornly stared back then finally nodded his head and mouthed the word ‘later’.