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Authors: Laurie Ellingham

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Twenty-five

The
needle flittered between the eleven and twelve position on the speed dial as
the car sped through the twisting single lanes of the countryside.

Jules
threw the gear stick into fifth, refusing to release her foot from the
accelerator for even a second as she flew into one sharp corner after another.
If a vehicle appeared from the other direction she knew she would have no time
to stop and no space to swerve. The gamble felt good.

The
pounding from behind her temples had yet to subside; the throbbing pain
intensifying as her mind tried to make sense of the emotional turmoil she’d
experienced in just a few short hours. So instead she drove; feeling the
tension ease with each mile she covered. 

An
hour later the ticking of the indicator jolted her from autopilot. She had no
recollection of the road she’d covered or the manoeuvres she’d made, but she
must have kept her foot firmly on the accelerator because the road sign read
only thirty miles to Bath.

Jules
noticed the goose bumps on her arms before she realised she’d been cold. She’d
left the guesthouse in such a hurry that she hadn’t changed out of her running
kit; dumping her clothes on the passenger seat and almost knocking down Rich
and Max with her car in her haste to escape Guy.

All
of a sudden it felt as if her childhood home was beckoning her. As if nowhere
else on earth could make her feel safe and warm but the familiar furnishings
she’d grown up around.

She
had no idea if her parents would be in, but the spare key would be under the
third flower pot to the right of the front door, just as it had been her whole
life.

The
newspaper’s accusation about her relationship with her parents had upset Jules
more than the tabloids claims about her past flings. She didn’t care about the old
relationships, but she did care about her parents. She needed to see them,
Jules decided, realising for the first time that she might not be the only
person affected by
The Daily
’s attack.

As
Jules continued her journey, the early afternoon sunshine illuminated the
landscape opening up in front of her. She could see the iconic Georgian town
houses, stacked one on top of the other as the city spread itself up the
hillside. In its centre, the four turrets of the Abbey’s tower loomed above
everything else, as if it was watching over its residents.

Despite
the familiarity of the city she’d grown-up in, Jules couldn’t stop her mind
returning to Guy. The tension and nausea returning with it. From the quiet interior
of the car, the electricity pulling her towards him now seemed even more
powerful, as if she’d been caught in an unstoppable force.

Out
of nowhere a bright light flashed in front of her eyes.

‘Damn,’
she cursed to herself. As if she didn’t hate Guy enough, she could now blame
him for a speeding ticket on top of everything else.

Jules
eased her foot from the accelerator and slowed the car to a crawl. No matter
how fast she drove, she could not escape the truth: in those out of control moments
in the cold abandoned cellar, as her body had found its way into Guy’s arms,
she had wanted him so badly that it had hurt.

Seeing
Guy had unlocked a part of her that she’d buried long ago. The dreamer unable
to speak up for herself, the weak girl who had let Guy crush her so easily. It
was that part of her that had reacted to Guy, not the real her.

Jules
focused her thoughts away from the feelings she’d experience in the darkness. The
past few weeks had dented her confidence but she was still strong. She would not
let Guy trick her into being part of his music launch.

He’d
lied and deceived her before, and he was doing it again now.

She
would wait at the guesthouse for him to finish playing his set at The Nag and
then she would make it crystal clear to him that he had to leave. She would
find a way to make him listen, she told herself, ignoring the heavy weight
tugging on her shoulders and the words he’d spoken still circling in her head.

‘Hello,
Mum? Dad?’ Jules called out as she let herself into her parent’s semi-detached
house on the outskirts of the city.

‘Juliet?’
her father replied, sticking his head out of the kitchen. ‘Is that you love?
What the blooming heck are you doing here?’

‘Just
thought I’d pop in,’ she replied as her father pulled her into a tight bear
hug.

‘What
a nice surprise and just in the nick of time. Your mother has been in one of
her flaps this morning.’ Bernie dropped his voice to a whisper. ‘You know what
she’s like,’ he grinned.

Jules
couldn’t help but smile as her father continued their embrace. The comfortable
familiarity of her childhood home relieving her remaining tension in an
instant, just as she’d thought it would.

In
that moment she could not remember why she’d stayed away so long. Her parents
bordered on eccentric most of the time but she loved them dearly.

Despite
outward appearances, her father, with his thinning grey hair, broad shoulders
and round stomach, was a scatter brain. He might have been the sensible half of
her parent’s marriage but Jules had lost count of the number of times she’d
seen him get so engrossed in conversation at their shop that he’d given the
wrong change to a customer. It was Nora’s meticulous management of the shop
accounts that had kept their business in the centre of Bath ticking over for so
many years. 

‘Juliet,’
her mother screeched from the kitchen doorway. ‘Thank heavens. We’ve been
worried sick about you.’

‘Hi
mum,’ Jules smiled, swapping the large arms of her father for the petite frame
of her mother.  

‘You
poor poor girl. How are you holding up?’

‘Me?
I’m fine, why?’

‘The
newspaper of course. I was utterly horrified when I saw it.’

‘Oh
that.’ With the arrival of Guy and the events of the morning, her earlier
humiliation had been pushed aside, returning in a split second as her cheeks
flushed a bright red.

‘The
phone has been ringing off the hook,’ Nora began, giving Jules one more squeeze
before releasing her and walking back into the kitchen. ‘Pop the kettle on
Bern.

‘We
had to nip out and buy a copy first thing and just couldn’t believe what we
were reading, could we Bern? Your father made me unplug the phone in the end.
Everyone we know is calling.

‘Would
you like a hot cross bun? Or I could heat up some soup? Leek and potato just
like the time you had the chicken pox.’

‘Thanks
mum, but I’m fine really. Just a cup of coffee would be great,’ Jules replied,
taking a seat at the same table she’d sat at her entire life.

‘Nora,
leave the girl alone for a minute will you, she’s only just walked through the
door,’ Bernie said from the sink. ‘Now, how is everything with your new house?’

Her
mother let out a cry. ‘How can you even ask such a question, when we haven’t
even told her?’

‘Told
me what?’ Jules looked between the faces of her parents.

‘Oh
Juliet, it’s all my fault,’ Nora wailed as she slipped into the seat opposite
Jules.

‘What
is mum?’

‘This
story. We feel like complete fools. Do you remember I told you about that girl
who stopped by the shop last week?’

Jules
nodded. She knew what was coming.

‘Well
the minute I saw the name at the end of the article, I knew it was her. Bloody
Sara - that was her name. I’m so sorry Juliet. She was paying me all these
compliments about the shop and taking such an interest in you. Before I knew
it, she was asking me all these strange questions about how often we saw you.
Of course, it was only this morning that I realised that she’d been putting
words in my mouth.’

Jules
reached out and squeezed her mother’s hand. ‘Don’t worry mum. They would have
printed the story either way. I’m just sorry they’ve got you involved too,’ she
replied. Seeing her parents concern for her seemed to have relieved some of the
unease she felt towards
The Daily’s
allegations.  

Bernie
placed three mugs and a chunk of fruit cake in front of them. ‘Here you are
love.

‘So
you don’t blame us then?’ Nora asked, her voice timid as she patted Jules’
hand.

‘Don’t
be daft. Of course I don’t. The only person to blame in all of this is Guy.’

Nora
shook her head and opened her mouth to speak before Jules cut in: ‘I’m sorry
mum, I know you both like him and you were upset when we broke-up, but he was
the one who got
The Daily
interested in me, and it was all to boost the
sales of his album.’

‘Juliet,’
Bernie began. ‘Your mother and I were only upset when you and Guy broke-up
because we hated seeing you so unhappy. Yes we liked Guy, but only because of
how happy he made you. You’re our daughter; you’re the one that matters to us.
If you tell us to hate him, we will hate him.’

‘But
mum just shook her head when I said it was Guy’s fault?’ Jules quizzed.

‘Yes,
because maybe you’re right and this whole nonsense with the paper has been down
to Guy trying to help himself, and if that’s the case then he’s off our
Christmas card list. But these bloody journalists are like vampires. One minute
you’re having a perfectly friendly chat with them about the weather or what
not, and the next minute you find yourself admitting things about yourself you
didn’t even know were true.

‘They
suck it out of you is all I’m saying. If Guy said it was an accident, then I
can see how it happened. And what with us liking Guy, well I’m with your father
on that one.’

‘Oh,’
Jules replied. She took a long sip of coffee as her mind made sense of what her
parents had told her. ‘I thought I’d let you down.’

‘When?’
her parents exclaimed together.

‘When
Guy left. I thought you were disappointed in me for not being able to make it
work.’

‘I’ve
never heard such rubbish in all my life,’ her father exclaimed. ‘We could never
be disappointed with anything you do. You and Guy were so young. Just because your
mother and I met when we were kids, it didn’t mean we expected you to do the
same. If anything, we were pleased that Guy leaving meant that you could find
your own feet a bit more. And look how much you’ve achieved. We are so proud of
you,’ her father finished, his voice deep with emotion.

‘Thanks
Dad.’ Jules felt the lump in her throat again. She’d been so wrong for so long
about her parent’s feelings, and now all she wanted to do was make up for all
the times she’d pretended to be too busy to see them.

‘Would
you come and see my house?’ she asked suddenly.

Her
parents exchanged smiles. ‘We’d love to,’ they replied.

‘How
does Saturday sound? I haven’t actually got a staircase or a back door at the
moment, but it would still be nice to see what you think.’

Nora
rose from the table and stepped to Jules’ chair, bending down to give her a hug
before replying. ‘Saturday it is. Now, how about some soup?’

‘Would
you mind if I just grabbed a quick shower first? I kind of left in a bit of a
hurry.’

‘I
did wonder about the mud on your face,’ Bernie smiled. ‘Off you go then. Gives
me a chance to nip out and get some fresh bread.’

‘Thanks
Dad, and thanks mum. It’s nice to be home.’

By
the afternoon, Jules felt like a balance had been restored inside her.

She’d
hidden herself away from her parents and from anyone else that had tried to get
close to her for so long that she’d forgotten how nice it is to be with people
that love her and to love them back. In shutting herself away from her feelings
for Guy, she’d somehow cut off her ability to become close to anyone else.

Remaining
five miles under the speed limit, Jules drove back to Cottinghale, still
determined to get Guy out of her life once and for all, but there was someone
else she wanted to see too.

Rich
had been so sweet when he’d pulled her from the cellar. He hadn’t acted
surprised to see Guy, or asked her what they’d been doing. All he’d wanted to
do was check she was okay. 

With
everything that had happened to her over the past few weeks, she felt like a
different person. If it was time to move on and start a new relationship, a
proper one this time, then Rich was the perfect person to try it with, she
decided, putting the sudden bout of nausea down to nerves.

 
Twenty-six

What
was she doing? Jules had no answer to her own question as she crouched low to
the ground, leaning against the cold stone wall. The light from the pub above
her cast an orangey glow out into the night.

Guy
and his bloody note, Jules thought; wishing she hadn’t left the guesthouse in
the first place, but unable to move from her position under the side window.

It
had been written on a small piece of lined paper ripped from a notebook; the
same kind he used to keep in his pocket wherever he went. 

Jules,

Please come see me play.

Love

Guy

Love
Guy. The words seemed stuck on repeat in her thoughts. How dare he? Even when
they were apart he still seemed able to inflict an electrical pull on her.

When
Jules had returned from Bath a little before seven, she had planned to stay in
her room, wait for him to return from playing for Rich and Sally, and tell him
once and for all to leave her alone. But she had not anticipated the note, and
the effect that the words, written in the all too familiar handwriting, would
have on her.

Not
this time. Never again, she’d reminded herself, storming towards the pub with
every intention of interrupting Guy’s performance and telling him to sod off in
front of anyone who had bothered to come and watch. It was about time he
endured a smidgen of the humiliation she had suffered in the past few weeks.

Yet,
even before Jules had stepped onto the gravel driveway of The Nag, she could
see that the turnout had been better than she’d anticipated. Darting to the
side window before she could be seen, Jules had peered into the orangey glow,
only to be faced with a mass of bodies, filling every available space, all
facing towards her.

She’d
dropped to a crouch.

Guy
sat less than a metre away, his back towards her as he faced into the pub. 

But
before she could make her escape, the murmur of the crowd ceased and Guy’s
voice echoed out into the night. Suddenly Jules found herself rooted to the
spot, desperate to run away but unable to make her body move, as every part of
her absorbed his words.

‘This
is one I’ve been tinkering with for only a few hours, so you’ll have to bear
with me. It’s for someone very special that I think a few of you may know.’

He
began to play a gentle melodic tune on his guitar and started to sing.

So
many love songs wish true love goodbye,

But
I wanted to let you know my love, that’s not you and I

I’ve
been away for such a long time, but I still love you so,

In
fact, with the dawning of every new day, my love seems to grow

And
grow...

 ‘Jules?’
a voice whispered from the darkness.

She
jumped back, the spell of Guy’s voice broken.

‘Rich,
hi,’ she stammered, scooting away from the window. ‘You scared me half to
death.’

‘Did
I really?’ Rich smirked. ‘Sorry about that. Next time I see someone lurking in
the shadows of my pub, I’ll be sure to make a bit more noise shall I? Now what
on earth are you doing out here?’

‘Oh.
Nothing really. I was just leaving.’

‘Right.’
Rich nodded, the expression on his face showing his disbelief.

‘Big
crowd,’ she began, wrapping her Barbour closer to her body.

‘Yeah.
I’ve had to drag Stan behind the bar to help me.’

‘Who
are they all?’

‘Everyone
in Sally’s address book I think.’ He smirked. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to
come in?

‘I’m
sure, thanks.

Neither
spoke for a moment as an awkward silence fell between them. The husky tones of
Guy’s voice filled her head causing an overwhelming despair to take hold.

‘Actually
I’m glad I bumped into you,’ Jules began as she tried to muster her earlier
resolve.

‘Oh?’

‘I
just wanted to say thanks again for your help today, and to explain really.’

She
sucked in a lung full of cold fresh air. ‘It’s just; I don’t think you’ve seen
me at my best. Ever since I moved here it’s been one thing after another, but I
really think that things will be getting better from here on out and
well...what I was hoping was...if your offer of dinner might still be
available?’

Despite
the outside temperature Jules felt hot and uncomfortable.

Rich
ran a hand through his hair and smiled. ‘Of course it is. You can come for
dinner anytime. I know Max would love to see you. But Jules listen for a
minute, okay? I like you. You are beautiful and funny and strong. But I think
we should stay friends, rather than...well you know.’

‘What?’
she exclaimed. ‘But you were the one who tried to kiss me.’

‘Yes
I know, but that was before I saw you with Guy. It just seems clear to me, and
to the entire country for that matter, that you and Guy are meant to be
together, and I don’t want to be the one to get in the way of that.’

‘You’re
breaking up with me?’ Jules asked in disbelief, too shocked by Rich’s sudden
change of heart to care how stupid she sounded.

To
her surprise he laughed.

‘How
on earth could I break up with you? In what version of reality have we been
dating? Not unless you count passing out drunk on my bed, fainting in my pub
and me pulling you out of an abandoned cellar, a relationship?’

‘I
see what you mean,’ Jules gave a weak smile. ‘But it’s not too late. You’re
wrong about Guy. You couldn’t be further from the truth in fact. I’m telling
him to leave the minute he finishes playing.’

‘Well
you’re an idiot then. It’s none of my business, and tell me to shut up if you
want to, but you’re a different person around him. More relaxed or something, I
don’t know. It’s hard to describe. But whatever it is, you’d be crazy to throw
it away.

‘I
can see he must have really hurt you, but everyone makes mistakes, and you
can’t say he hasn’t been trying to make up for it. Every song is about how
sorry he is. If you just stopped running from it for five minutes, you might
find...I don’t know.’

Jules
shook her head. She couldn’t speak. She had no idea how to respond
.
Rich
was wrong. Guy was wrong. Everyone had it wrong, didn’t they?

‘And
anyway, Max is crazy about you and the last thing I need is him sulking all day
because I spend more time with you than he does,’ Rich added with another
smile.

He
touched Jules’ arm. ‘You okay?’

Jules
nodded, still unable to speak. Nothing seemed to be going to plan.

‘Come
get a drink. I’ve got another cocktail I’ve been working on. I’m going to call
it The Juliet.’

Jules
exhaled in an attempt to laugh and stepped back. ‘Thanks Rich, but I think I’m
going to pass. I’ll see you soon.’

‘Are
you sure? Do you want me to walk you back?’

She
shook her head. Turning away from him, she walked back to the road.

Nothing
made sense anymore.

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