The Reluctant Cowgirl (23 page)

When Crystal walked into the kitchen Sunday morning, Tina had a piece of toast halfway to her mouth. She froze with it there. “Good morning.”

Crystal smiled. “Good morning.”

“I’m afraid to hope, but does the fact that you’re wearing a skirt and carrying a Bible mean you’re going to church with us?”

“If the offer is still open.”

Tina grinned. “Of course it is. Zee’s gone to get the keys.”

Crystal smiled. In spite of the fact that her grandfather in Texas spoiled his only granddaughter, Tina was frugal. But she and Zee had splurged on an old car they only drove on Sundays. “I don’t want to get to church looking like a tumbleweed,” she’d said more than once.

“I’m so excited.” Suddenly, concern clouded Tina’s eyes. “Listen, our congregation is a little different. It’s probably not what you’re used to.”

“Aw, c’mon. I’ve lived in the city for seven years. Surely you don’t think I can be shocked.” Considering Tina’s and Zee’s penchant for unusual hair coloring and piercings, she could only imagine. But she wasn’t going so she could gawk. She was going because she was tired of being alone. And she had a strong feeling Tina and Zee would be moving to Texas soon. Being in Shady Grove had made her remember what it was like to have a church family. It would be nice to find that here.

Tina smiled up at her husband as he walked into the kitchen. “Crys is going with us.”

“Cool.” Zee gave Crystal a fist bump.

“She thinks no matter what our congregation is like she won’t be shocked.”

Zee drew his brows together. “You didn’t tell her?”

Tina shook her head.

Crystal laughed ... a little nervously, she admitted to herself. But she wasn’t going to give Tina the satisfaction of begging to know what it was that was so shocking about their congregation. They’d discussed the Bible enough over the years that she knew it wasn’t anything too outlandish. So she’d have to just wait and see.

In the car, Zee headed north. And just kept going. After half an hour, Crystal looked at Tina to see if she was worried, but she and Zee were holding hands and acting as relaxed as if they were out for a Sunday drive. Crystal smiled at her thoughts. Obviously, they were out for a Sunday drive.

The big buildings gave way to more trees and smaller houses. Until finally, Zee took a right at a small street and a right into a gravel parking lot. A tiny white frame building sat in the middle of the lot. Tina looked over at Crystal and smiled. “I’m sorry for making you sweat it. But you have to admit, this is definitely different than what you’re used to.”

“It reminds me of when we’d go visit my granny and papa and go to church with them,” Crystal said wonderingly as she climbed out of the backseat.

Tina nodded. “That’s why we started here a couple of years ago. I was homesick, and this is exactly like the tiny little congregation my grandmother took me to.”

“Just wait until you get inside,” Zee said. “It’s like stepping back in time.”

At the top of the steps, Tina stood back and let Zee open the door. He motioned Crystal to follow Tina in.

Several men and women stood in the foyer talking. Their faces lit up when they saw Tina and Zee. “You did come back,” a bald man said and nodded toward his gray-haired wife. “I told Lila I wouldn’t be surprised if you honeymooners got to Texas and decided to stay.”

Tina shook her head. “And leave y’all? No way.” She pulled Crystal forward and introduced her.

Every one of the forty or fifty members, including the preacher, shook her hand and told her how good it was to have her. Or at least it felt like it. She was shocked, even though she’d said she wouldn’t be, but she’d never felt more welcome.

By the time the preacher got up to speak, Crystal knew why Tina and Zee loved it so much here. The fervor of the worshippers, young and old, couldn’t be denied. The songs were old—most she hadn’t heard since she’d visited her grandparents’ church as a child—but the zeal was new and fresh. She breathed in an easy breath and opened her Bible. She was glad she’d come.

Twenty minutes later, Crystal stared at the scripture, the print slightly blurry, as the preacher recounted Jesus’ parable about the son who had taken his inheritance and gone to the far country. She rubbed her eyes with her knuckles. She’d heard this story so many times when she was young. And she hadn’t really forgotten it. She just hadn’t thought of it in a long time.

The preacher stepped out from behind the pulpit, his voice low and filled with passion. “Can you see the Father watching? Waiting for His beloved child to return? Oh, don’t kid yourself. He knows all the things that happened in the far country. But He just yearns for His child to come home. To let Him make everything right. And when He finally sees His long-lost child, what does He do?” The preacher paused and Crystal clutched the edge of the padded pew. “He runs to meet him,” he said, almost in a whisper.

His eyes scanned the congregation’s faces. “Today, if you need to come home, He’s watching for you.”

Crystal’s ears were ringing as he made his final plea to anyone who needed to come. When everyone stood and began to sing, the words of the old song pierced the shell around her heart like a surgeon’s knife. “‘I’ve wandered far away from God.’” She drew in a breath. “‘Now, I’m coming home.’” Her legs trembled and she thought she might have to sit down. “‘The paths of sin too long I’ve trod.’” As the congregation sang, “‘Lord, I’m coming home,’” she stepped into the aisle.

Tears coursed down her cheeks, but in that moment, she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God was running to meet her.

“Daddy, can I go home with Grandma and Grandpa?” Beka smiled up at him in the church parking lot. “Please.”

“Honey, we were there all afternoon.” And he’d enjoyed spending time with his parents. But he’d planned for him and Beka to go home after the evening service. He’d hoped to get her into bed early so he could have a little time where he didn’t have to pretend that everything was okay.

“But Grandpa said he’d show me Snowball’s kittens again if I go home with them.”

His mom rested her hand on his shoulder. “We’d love to have you both, but we figured you might could use some down time.”

He put his hand on Beka’s head. “Okay, you can stay for a couple of hours. But no complaining when I come get you. You’ve got school tomorrow.”

“That’s right,” a voice behind him said. “And I hear your teacher is really mean.”

Patti walked up beside them.

Beka giggled. “You are not mean!”

“Oh. Well, that’s good to hear. But you still have to get your rest.”

“Okay.” Beka curled her arm around Jeremy’s neck and squeezed when he bent down to give her a hug and a kiss. “I love you, Daddy.”

“Love you, too, Little Bit.”

He watched her skip off between her grandparents. It still wasn’t easy to let her go. But he was learning.

“It’s hard being the one left behind, isn’t it?” He looked up to see Patti smiling.

“It sure is.”

“Want to go get a Coke or something?”

He considered it. She seemed like a really nice person. But she wasn’t the one for him. “Um, Patti...”

Her face reddened. “It’s okay if you don’t.”

He watched his parents’ truck pull out of the parking lot. “I just can’t.” He closed his eyes for a second, praying for the right words. “You’re sweet and caring. And very pretty.” He smiled at her. “But I’m in love with someone else.”

Her answering smile didn’t waver. “Crystal McCord.”

He nodded.

Her brows drew together. “I thought she moved back to New York.”

“She did. But unfortunately, my heart can’t let go.”

She reached over and touched his hand. “I understand.” Her eyes were filled with compassion. “Two years ago, I lost my fiancé in Afghanistan.”

Jeremy squeezed her hand and released it. “Patti, I’m so sorry.”

She nodded. “Everyone is.” Her smile was sweet. “Still, that doesn’t bring him back.” She bit her lip. “Now don’t take this the wrong way. But the only reason I’ve ... I guess you could say ... ‘pursued’ you is because my sisters are driving me crazy badgering me to get back out there before I’m too old.”

Jeremy shook his head. “Don’t listen to them. You can’t be older than twenty-five.”

“You win the prize. I
am
twenty-five.”

“Patti, you need to listen to your heart.” He remembered telling Crystal that same thing. And her heart had led her away from him. But he knew it was sound advice. “You’ll know when it’s time to get back out there. And when it is time, you’ll have no trouble finding the right person.”

Patti kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks. Don’t forget to take your own advice.”

As he got into his truck, he thought about what she’d said. He knew one thing. His heart wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

Crystal didn’t know how she’d let Melissa talk her into this. She’d only wanted to go home and rest. But Melissa had insisted that she was having a few of the cast members over to unwind. And that it would be very low-key. Just a few people talking about the play and hanging out. So here she was at Melissa’s “after rehearsal” party.

The music was so loud she could feel the bass drumbeat. She leaned up against the wall and tried to shrink into it as people crowded around her, some moving to the beat, some just talking. Everyone but her seemed to be having fun. But then she’d mostly come to give the newlyweds some time alone at home.

“Hey.” The guy standing over her had to yell for her to hear him.

She glanced up into soulful brown eyes.

He stepped closer. “You don’t look like you’re having much fun. Want to get out of here?” The smell of alcohol on his breath made her pull back.

She shook her head.
Not with you anyway.
“No, thanks.”

He sipped from the drink in his hand then held up his glass. “Want one?”

She showed Mr. Clueless her Dr Pepper can. “No, I’m good.” Melissa had assured her there wouldn’t be alcohol served, but Crystal knew from experience that didn’t stop people from bringing their own.

He pointed toward a small open spot in the crowd. “Want to dance?”

“No, thanks.” Was she going to have to hit him over the head before he took the hint and buzzed off? He was a good-looking guy. She recognized him as being in the ensemble. He probably picked up a girl at every party he went to.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“I’m a little tired.” She wasn’t any older than anyone else, and they’d rehearsed all day, too, but tonight she felt ancient.

“Oh, come on. Loosen up.” He grinned, showing perfect white teeth. He reached for her arm to pull her away from the wall.

She shrugged his arm away. “Back off, okay?”

“Well, okay. You don’t have to be so snarky. I don’t beg a girl to be with me. I don’t have to.” He turned and walked away. At least she hadn’t actually had to hit him over the head, but it had been touch and go there for a second.

She glanced at the clock on the wall. Had she been here only an hour? It felt like days. Okay. Fifteen more minutes and she was out of here. That would have to be enough “alone” time for Tina and Zee. They hadn’t asked for it anyway.

She went into the kitchen where it was a little quieter. Melissa and her roommate were fixing trays of appetizers. She helped out for a few minutes while she drummed up an excuse for making her exit. Melissa looked disappointed when Crystal told her she was leaving, but she didn’t argue.

As she walked back through the party, she saw that the perfect-teeth guy had moved on to the girl who played one of the other sisters. He had his arms wrapped around her and she was pressed against him as they barely moved in time to a blues tune.

When Crystal finally got back to Tina and Zee’s, they were in the kitchen eating ice cream.

“What are we celebrating?” she asked as she walked in.

Tina laughed. “You know us too well. We just made the final decision. We’re moving to Texas.” She held up the carton of Rocky Road. “Want some ice cream?”

“No, thanks. But that’s awesome news.”

Zee put his hand on Tina’s shoulder. “We’re hoping to start a family before too long. And it only makes sense to move closer to Tina’s grandpa.”

Tina nodded. “But we’re going to miss you, hon.”

Crystal hugged each of them. “I’m going to miss y’all, too. But I think this is the right decision.”

“We’ll stay in touch,” Tina assured her.

“I know we will. Some friends are for a season, but others are for life.”

Zee groaned. “Did you get that off an e-mail forward?”

Crystal laughed. “Probably. So sue me. Sometimes those things have gems of wisdom hidden between those rows and rows of e-mail addresses.”

She hugged them again and left them alone with their ice cream.

In the guest room, she got her Bible out and read it for a while. When she went to put it back into her overnight bag, her hand closed around something she didn’t recognize. Her high school yearbook. She remembered now that she’d put it and her plays in the bottom of her duffel bag to look at later. She reached in and pulled out both the plays and the yearbook and carried them to her bed.

She stuffed the two pillows against the headboard and scooted herself up in the bed until she was sitting with the plays resting on the slanted table that her knees provided. After a few minutes of reading, she got a pen and started to edit. Two hours later, she relaxed her legs and stretched. She had to stop and go to bed. Not because she was sleepy but because a twelve-hour rehearsal demanded a good night’s sleep.

She set the plays on her nightstand, and her gaze fell on the yearbook. Curiosity welled up inside her. There was no use trying to ignore it now and go to sleep. She slid it toward her across the slick comforter and ran her hand over the embossed lettering on the front cover. Her heart pounded. Was she ready to take this walk down memory lane? She sent up a silent prayer and flipped the heavy cover open.

Just a few pages in, she stopped. Their senior pictures—hers and Cami’s—were side by side. She stared at the blond hair, blue eyes, and their grins, Cami’s a shade more confident. Even at the end of their Shady Grove High School careers, only a handful of their close friends could tell them apart.

She flipped another page and there were Cami and the rest of the court at the local beauty salon getting their nails and hair done for homecoming. And she and Cami and Phoebe in Farm Welding class, their helmets up, smiling for the camera. “What a waste,” Cami had complained that whole semester. “Like we’re going to ever weld on Broadway.”

Phoebe had pointed out that at a crucial moment on stage, one of the poles that held the lights could break. And wouldn’t it be handy if the star could bring in a portable welder and take care of that? Cami had wrinkled her nose, but she quit griping.

Crystal smiled at the memory. Phoebe had such a dry sense of humor. Crystal needed to find the card she’d given her at the bookstore and give her a call. She’d missed her.

Crystal flipped the page and froze. In the Shady Grove yearbook, tradition demanded that each senior had a page paid for by his or her family, featuring pictures of the graduate from birth to the moment of this great accomplishment. And including handwritten words of inspiration to the graduates. Crystal couldn’t believe it had been seven years and she’d never seen her or Cami’s senior pages. Until now.

Crystal studied the page the family had put together for Cami. Without fail, the brothers and sisters had mentioned Broadway. But at the bottom, Daddy had written, “Remember Whose you are.” Cami had loved
The Lion King,
and Daddy always added his own twist to Mufasa’s advice to Simba.

Crystal closed her eyes. How ironic that her dad had felt the need to encourage Cami to keep the faith. He’d probably never dreamed that Crystal would be the one who would turn her back on God when times got tough. She’d called him and Mama after she got home from church yesterday. They’d sounded so happy, and she was pretty sure she heard tears in her daddy’s voice.

She turned her attention back to the yearbook. She looked at Cami’s page one more time, and her eyes stung as she read what she’d written to her sister. “Whether on the barn stage or the Broadway stage, you’ll always be a star to me. I love you.”

She turned the page, and there was her name and date of birth with photos of her whole childhood parading across the page. Each of her brothers and sisters, as well as Mama and Daddy, had written her a note. They ranged from “Here’s lookin’ at you, kid”—Luke—to “You’ve got a big heart, so never let anyone tell you that you’re too little”—Aaron—to “You can do anything you set your mind to”—Daddy—to “God loves you, honey, and He has big plans for you”—Mama. Down at the bottom, she recognized Cami’s familiar scrawl. “Wherever life leads us, thank you for inspiring me to be better, to dream bigger, and to always follow my heart. I love you.”

She’d signed it, “Broadway Bound, Cami.” That’s how her sister had signed everything for the last two years of high school.

The last two years of her life. Unshed tears ripped Crystal’s throat raw.

Crystal had no doubt Cami would have accomplished her dream if things had been different.

Crystal stared again at the quote. “Wherever life leads us...” She ran her hand over Cami’s picture. She remembered the pain she’d felt when she’d stood in the field and watched Jeremy walk away. Who could have guessed where life would lead them? Or that Crystal would have so much trouble following her own heart?

It had been a long day. The cows had broken through the fence on the north side, and Jeremy and his dad had spent most of the afternoon getting them back in and repairing the break. He’d been grateful when his mom had volunteered to pick Beka up from school and take her home with her. But now that he was home and showered, the house was unbearably empty.

He grabbed his keys off the hook by the door and walked out onto the porch. He’d turned down his mom’s offer for supper, but that was before he knew it was going to be one of those nights where he couldn’t stop thinking about Crystal.

He stepped off the porch to get a better look at the sunset. The clouds billowed across the sky, a purple curtain lined in orange and yellow. Down at the bottom of the cloud bank, one star twinkled. His dad used to tease him that if he could see it before dark, it was probably a satellite. But if Crystal were here, she’d wish on it with him.

He sank down on the top porch step. Could Crystal see the sunset in the city? Or was she too busy to look? Did she still smile when something touched her heart? And laugh at anything silly? Or had she gone back to the tense, nervous girl she’d been at Aaron’s wedding and later by the river? He prayed for her all the time. That she’d be happy and healthy. And even though it tore his heart out to think about it, he prayed for her to find love. A true love that would be good for her.

Sitting there on the step, he felt old and tired. He looked up at the crunch of gravel and stared as a small black car slowed and turned into his driveway. He stood, talking sternly to his heart. Begging it to realize that this was probably a lost traveler needing directions. Or an encyclopedia salesman. But his heart refused to listen and thudded against his ribcage as the driver’s door opened.

He saw her blond hair first, blowing in the breeze, and then there she was staring at him. She gasped and took a step toward him.

A thousand questions swirled through his mind, but they fell to the ground as he ran to meet her. Only one thing mattered right now. She was here.

He swept her up in his arms and spun her around, holding her tight. For a few minutes, they hugged without speaking. Then finally he released her. “Is everything okay?”

Her smile was bright and clear. “Everything is wonderful now.”

“How did you get time off so quickly?”

Her smile grew even brighter. “Funny you should ask. Because I’m not taking time off. I’m here to stay.”

Jeremy opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Crystal let out a tentative laugh. “Cat got your tongue?”

“What about Broadway?”

“It’s still there. But it’s going to have to get along without me.” “I’m lost. Can you please help me wrap my head around this?” Jeremy knew he sounded like an idiot. His heart raced a million beats per minute at the hope that maybe, just maybe, this woman he’d willingly given his heart to might actually have given up the stage and come home to him.

Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and she reached out to take his hand. “It’s really simple. I went in this morning and told the director that as much as I appreciated the opportunity, my heart was somewhere else. He agreed to release me from our agreement.”

Two weeks’ worth of tightness in his chest relaxed. “Really? Where is your heart?” His own smile felt a little misty.

She gave him a slap on the shoulder. “You’d better be taking good care of it, you big lug.”

“I’ll trade you.”

She looked puzzled for a second then he saw the realization dawn. “Or we could just leave them right where they are—yours with me and mine with you. Forever.”

He cupped her cheek and stared into those beautiful blue eyes. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

She nodded, her eyes twinkling. “About half as much as I love you.”

A laugh burst out of him. “Reverse that and you’ll have it right.” He dropped a playful kiss on her forehead, but when she stretched up on tiptoe to meet his lips, the laughter gave way to a kiss that left little room for doubt.

By the time they agreed they probably loved each other exactly the same, the night sky was scattered with stars. And he still held her in his arms.