The Ride Across Lake Constance and Other Plays (14 page)
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Authors: Peter Handke
Tags: #Fiction, #Literary
BOOK: The Ride Across Lake Constance and Other Plays
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BERGNER
(
As though she had learned a few questions by heart
) Do I talk too much for you? Are my knees too bony? Am I too heavy for you? Is my nose too big? Am I too sensible for you? Do you find me too loud? Are my breasts too small? Do you think I'm too fat? Am I too fast for you? Am I too skinny for you? Was I good?
As though she had learned a few questions by heart
) Do I talk too much for you? Are my knees too bony? Am I too heavy for you? Is my nose too big? Am I too sensible for you? Do you find me too loud? Are my breasts too small? Do you think I'm too fat? Am I too fast for you? Am I too skinny for you? Was I good?
Â
JANNINGS
You see, she herself uses the categories in which one thinks of her. (To PORTEN) Hey! (
She comes back and settles on his knees
.) When
I
used to be called, to begin with I only said “yes!” After all, it was possible that they only wanted to know whether I was still there. Where were we? (GEORGE
puts his hand to the back of his head, lowers the hand again.)
Stop! Repeat that gesture! (GEORGE
repeats it.
) It reminds me of something. More slowly! (GEORGE
repeats the gesture
.) The hat! Do you know the song “Me Hat, It Has Three Corners”? It's a folk song. (
He recites it seriously
.)
She comes back and settles on his knees
.) When
I
used to be called, to begin with I only said “yes!” After all, it was possible that they only wanted to know whether I was still there. Where were we? (GEORGE
puts his hand to the back of his head, lowers the hand again.)
Stop! Repeat that gesture! (GEORGE
repeats it.
) It reminds me of something. More slowly! (GEORGE
repeats the gesture
.) The hat! Do you know the song “Me Hat, It Has Three Corners”? It's a folk song. (
He recites it seriously
.)
Me hat, it has three corners
Three corners has me hat
And if it hadn't three corners
It wouldn't be me hat.
Three corners has me hat
And if it hadn't three corners
It wouldn't be me hat.
Ever since I've known that song I am incapable of imagining a hat with it. A three-cornered hat: an impossible idea! A hat: an impossible, a forbidden idea! Once I ordered (or permitted?) a cake to be cut. “Where?” I was asked. Ever since then I've been unable to imagine a cake. You try drawing
a circle in your mind but don't know where to begin. Finally there's a noise in the brain as if a boiling egg were popping. Quiet! Shut up! I can imagine what you want to say! The circle! I become dizzy when I'm supposed to imagine it! And when I become dizzy, I become furious. For example, someone asks me what time it is. Can you imagine that there's someone who has no watch? I certainly can't. Dizziness and anger! Or: a person looks “desperate,” starts all sorts of jobs but stops them all again at once. Can you imagine anyone still being seriously desperate? Dizziness! Dizziness and anger! Or someone is ashamed? Dizziness and anger, dizziness and anger! Then the contrary: someone is ashamed for someone else? I for you? At once! You cannot imagine that I'm ashamed for you? (
He pushes the cigar box off the table so that all the cigars fall out, puts
PORTEN
in her fauteuil, stands in front of
GEORGE,
and claps his hands before
GEORGE'
s face, pretending to slap him, and sits down again
.) Like chocolate and soapâyes, like chocolate that lies next to a piece of soap. I, at any event, have never felt ashamedâexcept for that time when I compared two feelings I had for someone to chocolate and soap. And then once more. (
Pause
.) And then the story about the maggot on the palm of the hand. (
Pause
.) And then once when I was asked: “Who is that?” and answered: “That one? Yes, she's very touching, isn't she?” (
Pause
.) Yes, and then one more time. (
He laughs shamefully, remembering.
) And then once when I said: “Present company excepted, naturally!” And another time when I heard someone say, “She's ugly!” and replied: “But she has pretty eyes.” (
Pause
.) And then just the one more time when I put the matchbook on the counter and the salesman asked me: “Is that
you
?” (
Pause; puzzled
) Actually, I've been ashamed quite frequently. (
Pause
, to VON STROHEIM) Should I make
him
feel ashamed?
a circle in your mind but don't know where to begin. Finally there's a noise in the brain as if a boiling egg were popping. Quiet! Shut up! I can imagine what you want to say! The circle! I become dizzy when I'm supposed to imagine it! And when I become dizzy, I become furious. For example, someone asks me what time it is. Can you imagine that there's someone who has no watch? I certainly can't. Dizziness and anger! Or: a person looks “desperate,” starts all sorts of jobs but stops them all again at once. Can you imagine anyone still being seriously desperate? Dizziness! Dizziness and anger! Or someone is ashamed? Dizziness and anger, dizziness and anger! Then the contrary: someone is ashamed for someone else? I for you? At once! You cannot imagine that I'm ashamed for you? (
He pushes the cigar box off the table so that all the cigars fall out, puts
PORTEN
in her fauteuil, stands in front of
GEORGE,
and claps his hands before
GEORGE'
s face, pretending to slap him, and sits down again
.) Like chocolate and soapâyes, like chocolate that lies next to a piece of soap. I, at any event, have never felt ashamedâexcept for that time when I compared two feelings I had for someone to chocolate and soap. And then once more. (
Pause
.) And then the story about the maggot on the palm of the hand. (
Pause
.) And then once when I was asked: “Who is that?” and answered: “That one? Yes, she's very touching, isn't she?” (
Pause
.) Yes, and then one more time. (
He laughs shamefully, remembering.
) And then once when I said: “Present company excepted, naturally!” And another time when I heard someone say, “She's ugly!” and replied: “But she has pretty eyes.” (
Pause
.) And then just the one more time when I put the matchbook on the counter and the salesman asked me: “Is that
you
?” (
Pause; puzzled
) Actually, I've been ashamed quite frequently. (
Pause
, to VON STROHEIM) Should I make
him
feel ashamed?
Â
VON STROHEIM
(
Strikes the body of the guitar and spreads his fingers.)
Just so you aren't put to shame by him!
Strikes the body of the guitar and spreads his fingers.)
Just so you aren't put to shame by him!
Â
JANNINGS
(
Turns to
GEORGE.) Look over here! (
Successively he takes
several
objects
from
the table or out
of
his pocket
and
shows them to GEORGE. GEORGE looks helplessly
at
each of them.
Finally
JANNINGS shows him some paper money, waves it,
and
GEORGE quickly tries to grab it. JANNINGS
laughs.)
This language he understands! This language he understands! (He laughs
again.
Pause. They both bow their heads.
JANNINGS scratches
himself
once vigorously. Suddenly he points
angrily at the cigars.
) What's that?
Turns to
GEORGE.) Look over here! (
Successively he takes
several
objects
from
the table or out
of
his pocket
and
shows them to GEORGE. GEORGE looks helplessly
at
each of them.
Finally
JANNINGS shows him some paper money, waves it,
and
GEORGE quickly tries to grab it. JANNINGS
laughs.)
This language he understands! This language he understands! (He laughs
again.
Pause. They both bow their heads.
JANNINGS scratches
himself
once vigorously. Suddenly he points
angrily at the cigars.
) What's that?
Â
GEORGE
Cigars.
Â
JANNINGS
And what's that supposed to mean? Pick them up! (GEORGE
bends down
. JANNINGS
giggles. )
Can you still imagine doing anything but what I tell you to? (GEORGE
tries to imagine it
.
Finally he also starts giggling, but stops again and tries to think once more.
) Imagine you're sitting in my place. (GEORGE
looks up at him. He begins to giggle.
JANNINGS
giggles too, but differently; he looks around himself.
PORTEN
is also giggling
. VON STROHEIM is
smiling.
BERGNER is
absentminded.
GEORGE
collects the cigars and puts them carefully back in the box. JANNINGS
,
while watching him, tells a story.
) Onceâ(To PORTEN) Why are you grinning?
bends down
. JANNINGS
giggles. )
Can you still imagine doing anything but what I tell you to? (GEORGE
tries to imagine it
.
Finally he also starts giggling, but stops again and tries to think once more.
) Imagine you're sitting in my place. (GEORGE
looks up at him. He begins to giggle.
JANNINGS
giggles too, but differently; he looks around himself.
PORTEN
is also giggling
. VON STROHEIM is
smiling.
BERGNER is
absentminded.
GEORGE
collects the cigars and puts them carefully back in the box. JANNINGS
,
while watching him, tells a story.
) Onceâ(To PORTEN) Why are you grinning?
Â
PORTEN
I'm not grinning, I'm smiling.
Â
JANNINGS
Stop fidgeting!
Â
PORTEN
I'm not fidgeting, I'm making myself comfortable.
Â
JANNINGS
Shut your trap!
Â
PORTEN
I don't have a trap.
Â
JANNINGS
(
Has already turned back to his story
.) ⦠I had a bad day, you know how that is. (GEORGE
nods
.) I burned my tongue on the coffee; as I was tying my shoelaces, I suddenly had two pieces in my hand, you know what that's like. (GEORGE
nods
.) Just as suddenlyâwhy “just as suddenly”? What's the difference! In any case, as I'm writing down what I plan to do, the tip of the pencil breaks off. I look for another pencilâno, not what you're thinking: the pencil does write; however, all at once I noticed that overnight I've begun to write one letter differently from the way I used to, with a curlicue where I never before made a curlicue during my entire life! You know what that's like. (GEORGE
nods, but only after
JANNINGS
has looked at him
.) To top it all, I suddenly see before me a woman trampling furiously on eggshells. I tear her away by the hair, you know what that's like. But it turns out that she is purposely breaking up the shells for the birds. Dazed, I walked on and notice another madman. He's running back and forth on a piece of land, and a crowd has already formed around him. Then it turns out that he isn't mad at all but the owner of the land trying to keep people from trespassing. Even more dazed, I walk on and am thinking about a goose I'm in the process of carving up, very fastidiously, you know what I'm like, not to get any grease stains on my suit, when someone grabs me by the arm from behind. Despite, or just
because
of, my dazed stateâ(
He smirks
.) Whenever I say
despite,
I also must
say, just because ofâ
I swiveled around and gave this someone a box on the ear. My hand slipped; you know what that's like: I thought someone with greasy fingers had grabbed me. Suddenlyâ
yes, again suddenly
, that day passed in leaps and boundsâI stood before a dog that squatted with quivering behind at the curbâ
quivering:
I've never used that word before!âand wanted to do his business, you know what that's like. I, no lazybones myselfâ(
To
GEORGE,
who hesitates
) Don't let me stop you from your workâgave him a kick â¦
Has already turned back to his story
.) ⦠I had a bad day, you know how that is. (GEORGE
nods
.) I burned my tongue on the coffee; as I was tying my shoelaces, I suddenly had two pieces in my hand, you know what that's like. (GEORGE
nods
.) Just as suddenlyâwhy “just as suddenly”? What's the difference! In any case, as I'm writing down what I plan to do, the tip of the pencil breaks off. I look for another pencilâno, not what you're thinking: the pencil does write; however, all at once I noticed that overnight I've begun to write one letter differently from the way I used to, with a curlicue where I never before made a curlicue during my entire life! You know what that's like. (GEORGE
nods, but only after
JANNINGS
has looked at him
.) To top it all, I suddenly see before me a woman trampling furiously on eggshells. I tear her away by the hair, you know what that's like. But it turns out that she is purposely breaking up the shells for the birds. Dazed, I walked on and notice another madman. He's running back and forth on a piece of land, and a crowd has already formed around him. Then it turns out that he isn't mad at all but the owner of the land trying to keep people from trespassing. Even more dazed, I walk on and am thinking about a goose I'm in the process of carving up, very fastidiously, you know what I'm like, not to get any grease stains on my suit, when someone grabs me by the arm from behind. Despite, or just
because
of, my dazed stateâ(
He smirks
.) Whenever I say
despite,
I also must
say, just because ofâ
I swiveled around and gave this someone a box on the ear. My hand slipped; you know what that's like: I thought someone with greasy fingers had grabbed me. Suddenlyâ
yes, again suddenly
, that day passed in leaps and boundsâI stood before a dog that squatted with quivering behind at the curbâ
quivering:
I've never used that word before!âand wanted to do his business, you know what that's like. I, no lazybones myselfâ(
To
GEORGE,
who hesitates
) Don't let me stop you from your workâgave him a kick â¦
Â
PORTEN
Don't go on, please! I don't want to have to dream about it.
Â
GEORGE
Once my mind was on a child and a hot iron, and when I suddenly saw someone reaching for the door handle, I shouted at him:
Don't touch
!
Don't touch
!
Â
JANNINGS
You can talk and stack cigars
evenly
at one and the same time? (GEORGE
continues to work in silence,
JANNINGS
goes on talking
.) ⦠and went home. Luckily the sun set very rapidly, as it always does in the tropicsâthat's how it is described in all narratives, isn't it?âand as I slowly open the door, there is a soft rustling behind it. (
Slowly
and
softly
generally belong together.) I immediately fired through the panelâand I myself had spread the papers on the floor to frighten the burglars when they'd open the door. A bad day! Later in my rocking chair I dozed off. Suddenly I awake and see the dog running past me. A quick slap with the riding cropâyou know what that's like? (GEORGE
nods
.) But it was my own feet: when I jerked awake, I took my black socks for the dog. (
Pause
.) You have nothing to say?
evenly
at one and the same time? (GEORGE
continues to work in silence,
JANNINGS
goes on talking
.) ⦠and went home. Luckily the sun set very rapidly, as it always does in the tropicsâthat's how it is described in all narratives, isn't it?âand as I slowly open the door, there is a soft rustling behind it. (
Slowly
and
softly
generally belong together.) I immediately fired through the panelâand I myself had spread the papers on the floor to frighten the burglars when they'd open the door. A bad day! Later in my rocking chair I dozed off. Suddenly I awake and see the dog running past me. A quick slap with the riding cropâyou know what that's like? (GEORGE
nods
.) But it was my own feet: when I jerked awake, I took my black socks for the dog. (
Pause
.) You have nothing to say?
Â
GEORGE
I feel no need to say anything.
Â
JANNINGS
It's enough that I feel the need to hear something from you.
Â
GEORGE
But what if I feel the need to remain silent?
Â
JANNINGS
Then you must say to yourself that in regard to your needs, what matters for you is to learn to need to do what you must do in any case. (
Pause
.) Say something!
Pause
.) Say something!
Â
(
Pause.
)
Pause.
)
Â
GEORGE
But what did you want to prove with the story? You didn't tell the story just to tell a story?
Â
JANNINGS
I told it so you would know what it is like when a whole day passes and one feels out of sorts.
Â
GEORGE
Out of sorts with what?
Â
JANNINGS
With one's work.
Â
GEORGE
You weren't working at the time?
Â
JANNINGS
I was working, but I felt out of sorts with my work.
Â
GEORGE
And what is it like if one feels out of sorts with one's work while one is working?
Â
JANNINGS
I told you: a swift sunset, a rustling behind the door, strange dogs in the room.
Â
GEORGE
And what is it like if one does not feel out of sorts with one's work while one is working?
Â
JANNINGS
It becomes a game.
Â
GEORGE
And how do you manage not to feel out of sorts while you work?
Â
JANNINGS
One must imagine that it's a game.
Â
GEORGE
And who determines the rules of the game?
Â
JANNINGS
The one who plays it: the one who works.
Â
GEORGE
Is it like that or does one have to imagine it?
Â
JANNINGS
If you're not out of sorts, it's like that.
Â
GEORGE
But if I feel out of sorts, then I first have to imagine it?
Â
JANNINGS
If you feel out of sorts, you cannot imagine it. Instead: a swift sunset, a rustling behind the door â¦
Â
GEORGE
But I feel out of sorts.
Â
JANNINGS
I'll show you. (
He gets up and puts a cigar in the box with playful little movements, a finger dance. Then he sits down
.) For me work is a game.
He gets up and puts a cigar in the box with playful little movements, a finger dance. Then he sits down
.) For me work is a game.
Â
GEORGE
Well, it isn't
your
work. But it is your
thing
. And it's up to you to tell me how
my
work with
your
thing can be called a game. I who feel out of sortsâyou're rightâcannot imagine it.
your
work. But it is your
thing
. And it's up to you to tell me how
my
work with
your
thing can be called a game. I who feel out of sortsâyou're rightâcannot imagine it.
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