The Road to Pemberley (28 page)

“We will endeavor to make sure he is not comfortable here, then.” Lizzy smiled at Darcy.

“Come.” He moved over on the bed and opened his arms. “I want to hold you.”

Kitty was attempting to read a book the following morning, but Lord Chalmer would not allow it. He sat within inches of her, reading aloud over her shoulder until she snapped the book shut.

“Lord Chalmer, a woman cannot think around you!”

He gave a seductive smirk and spoke just above a whisper. “I should hope you feel that way about me, pretty Kitty.”

She gasped. “My lord!”

“I cannot stay silent, Miss Bennet.” Lord Chalmer picked up her hand and squeezed it. Kitty cast a quick look toward the other occupant of the room, Lady Chalmer, but she seemed to pretend they didn't exist.

“I know it has been only three days, but I find myself quite besotted with you and—” His words halted upon Darcy's entrance. Darcy's eyes went straight to their clasped hands. And Kitty dropped Chalmer's hand as though it were a hot iron.

“Miss Bennet, I require your assistance. It would seem Mrs. Darcy is unable to accompany Mr. Denton into the village to deliver church baskets, as was originally planned for today. Might you fill in for her?”

Kitty rose to her feet. “Of course, Mr. Darcy.” She looked to Chalmer, hoping he would offer to join them, but he turned and looked out the window.

The day with Mr. Denton progressed much to Kitty's liking. Although wary of going into the homes of the poor, Kitty decided not to voice her fears and simply followed Denton's lead.

She found herself amazed because Denton knew every person in every cottage by name. He asked specifics about their families and ailments, and prayed with those who welcomed it. Kitty handed out peppermints and butterscotch treats to the children, and cheese and bread from the baskets for each home. If felt good to do something tangible for needy people, and Kitty found herself wondering why she had never considered the poor before.

“We made a good team today.” Denton relieved Kitty of the baskets, and they walked side by side.

“Thank you for taking me with you. I have never done such before, and would like to go again with you the next time. Until today I have not given much thought to those who have less than I do. I did not think there were such people on Mr. Darcy's property.”

“Don't mistake me, Miss Bennett. Darcy is an exceptional master and does all he can for the people who live near Lambton, but surely it is the church's duty to see to these people as well. I believe I am called to care for them, and as you've seen, it was Darcy's money that bought the provisions. These people are proud and don't seek handouts, so between Darcy and myself, we try to give them all we can without causing offence.”

“But, do these people work at Pemberley? I cannot say I recognized any of them.”

“No. Darcy's staff lives well—he would allow nothing less. But, even in a small bustling town like Lambton, there are never enough jobs to go around and people make due with very little.”

They walked in silence for only a minute before Denton spoke again. “Miss Bennet, forgive me, but something you said more than a week ago now has caused me some restless nights.”

Kitty started at that and squeezed his arm. “I did not mean to cause you distress. What did I say?”

“You said someone had harmed you, but not bodily. It kept making me think about my sister Phoebe, you see, we had an unhappy childhood and she was so often downcast with no one to speak to. I couldn't bear thinking that you were grieved without a chance to speak about it. It may not be my place, but it has made me worry for you.”

“Mr. Denton, you are kind to remember. And I will reward you with the truth, because it means a great deal that you actually cared about my rambling that day.”

“Actually cared? Of course I cared, and still do.”

Kitty sighed. “Mr. Denton, on the day in question, you found me brought very low, and not just by the fall I took. You see, I am the only one of five daughters to remain unmarried, and I found myself,
in that moment, quite downcast about my situation. I came upon a realization that I did not know who I was at all.”

“That is a startling realization. How did you come to such a thought?”

“Well, it has been a lifelong idea that I have finally put words to. Please understand that I am not asking for your pity, Mr. Denton.”

Denton nodded.

“In my family, my papa loved my sister Lizzy best, and that fact was one well known because he often voiced it himself. He and Lizzy would sequester themselves together to laugh at the rest of us. All the while, my mama adored my charming youngest sister, Lydia, and praised our eldest sister, Jane, for her beauty—which left Mary and me without any mooring in our home. Mary tried to win praise by studying books and practicing music. She seemed not as affected by my family's lack of interest in her. I was not so strong.”

Kitty paused to see if Denton would just pat her hand and tell her that he was sure she was mistaken, but he didn't do anything of the sort. He turned toward her and lifted his eyebrows.

Kitty pressed on. “My eldest sisters treated me as though I were a bug in their ear. Understand, Mr. Denton, I just wanted someone to notice me…someone to tell me that my existence mattered and I was valued. The only person who gave me any thought was my sister Lydia, and now I see she wanted my company only to indulge her fancies. Thinking upon it, I feel ill used by them, because not even one of them wanted to know me, and they are my own family.”

“I can see how you would feel as though you had lost yourself among them. You were a sketch, not a painting, or an afterthought, not the main subject,” Denton said. Kitty nodded. “That is exactly how I felt. And so I spent my time trying to be the person I thought Lydia wanted me to be, and then she was gone and I found that I had never even been there. I didn't know who Kitty Bennet was.”

Denton pointed at a felled log, and they sat down together. He turned toward her and asked, “Have you found her now?”

Kitty looked out over the homes of Lambton. “I don't know. I believe so, but I also believe no one likes who I really am. You see, the day you found me, I had just overheard my sister and her husband speaking about me in an unflattering way.”

“What did they say?” Denton tilted his head and furrowed his brow.

“They were accusing me of being changeable, which I was in the past. But they also sent Miss Darcy away because they thought I would be a bad influence on her.”

“I can scarcely believe that. Enlighten me. How could you be a bad influence on anyone, Miss Bennet?”

Kitty twisted her fingers together and bit her lip.

Then she looked up into his eyes and the calming sea of blue drew the words right out of her. “They believe me silly. You see, when I was younger, I was a flirt and I fell in love often. And if that isn't a grave enough offense, I also often speak what I am thinking—whether it is socially acceptable or not.”

Denton's lips twitched with a hidden smile, and he took hold of her hand, securing it safely between both of his. “I do not think you are the cause of the Darcys sending their sister away. It cannot be for these reasons.”

Kitty began to speak, but Denton shook his head and went on. “What I mean to say is, are not the abilities to love and speak truth admirable qualities?”

“Mr. Denton, you have just made all my youthful folly somehow seem virtuous!” Kitty laughed. “If you only knew, Mr. Denton, there is so much in life, and in my own mind, that I do not comprehend.”

He stood, offering his hand to her, and then tucked it into the crook of his elbow. “Which is precisely how it should be. What fun
would there be to existing if we understood and knew all? Half the joy in life is figuring it out and making mistakes along the way.”

“And you are a clergyman…encouraging mistakes? Because, sir, you will find that I muddle many things in life.”

Denton winked at her. “I am pleased to hear it. That means you actually live life. Miss Bennet, too many people merely exist without taking any risks at all.”

Lord Chalmer leaned against the mantel in his assigned bedchamber and allowed the flames of the roaring fire to mesmerize him. Soon, he told himself, soon warm fires and richly appointed rooms would be his lot in life again. He licked his lips with the thought of expensive wines and roasted quail dinners instead of the tavern drinks and stews that had lately made up his meals.

He turned when the door opened.

“Ah, Mother, how nice of you to join me,” Chalmer purred.

Henrietta jabbed a finger at her son. “What is going on, Albert? Despite our circumstances, you are well bred. But the attentions you are paying that
Kitty
belie that.”

“Tsk. Tsk. Kitty? That is quite vulgar of you. Do sit. And I will tell you my plan.” Albert gestured to a high-backed chair, and his mother swept forward.

“Please do, because it is beyond me why we have stayed on at Pemberley after we learned of Miss Darcy's absence.”

“Miss Darcy, yes. Fitz saw me coming, so to speak, and sent her away. The blackguard!” Albert scratched his chin in thought.

“Darcy must have heard that I had pockets to let and knew I'd try to wed Miss Darcy. Such a pity, too. Her dowry would have secured us, Mother, and I have heard she is not painful to look at either. I had thought I could talk sense to the man; what brother would deny
his sister the opportunity to marry a lord? Wealthy women are legshackled to poor men of title all the time, and it's considered a fair trade. But the man is too proud for it, and believes dear Georgiana deserves far better than the likes of me, which is rich, seeing as Darcy chose a common mousy wren without a ha'penny to her name for his own wife,” Chalmer said as he sneered.

“How bad is it, Albert? How far below the hatches are we truly?”

“The entail is killing me; the expense of maintaining it is simply too much to bear. Mama, we have rented out the London townhouse, and now the papers for Eddenwall are complete. Kicked out of our own home. Only Bates and McDonnagal have been kept on from our staff, and I do not know how long we can depend on their grace, with only the promise of back pay to entice them.”

“I would say your gaming habits have done little to help us as well,” the lady added.

Albert squared his shoulders and faced her. “Would you deny me the one thing that brings me any pleasure, any pleasure at all, in the world?”

Lady Chalmer sighed and patted her son's hand. “Of course not. You are right. Men must have their escapes.”

“Of course, I am right on that account. The real matter at hand is, what is to be done? I received four letters from creditors the day before we left. It cannot be long until all of London knows of our situation—renting out both our properties without letting a new one. I need to make an advantageous match as quickly as possible. And that…that is where Miss Bennet fits in.”

“But she is a farmer's daughter! A gentleman farmer—but a farmer!”

“Yes, but she is also sister to Mrs. Darcy, and therefore her future is tied closely to Mr. Darcy. Darcy would never let a relation of of his be in want; it is not in his character. If I marry the child and my
debts are made known, I have no doubt that Darcy will pay them all. The rumor is, he has done so already for a brother-in-law. Just think! When we have not the bank notes sufficient to let a house, Darcy will give it to us—or we will live here at Pemberley.”

Albert began to pace as he walked, his hands clenched together. “But time is of the essence. The marriage must take place before Darcy hears the totality of our loss. It is our only hope, outside of traveling to America and trying to find a rich man's daughter there.”