The Rules for Disappearing (18 page)

There’s relief all over his face.

Ethan. I called home from his cell last night. He’s the only possible choice. I look at Dad and then I look at the phone and walk slowly to get it.

“Hello.”

“Meg, it’s Ethan.”

“Hey.” My family is standing inside the open door, watching me.

“What’s up?”

“Not much.”

Silence.

“What’re you doing later?” he asks.

“Not sure.”

Silence.

S—

“Are you gonna be around? Can I come by?”

N—

“No. That’s not a good idea.”

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Silence. Family still staring.

“Can I meet you somewhere?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Silence. Most awkward conversation. Ever.

“Is this not a good time to talk?”

“No.”

“Take my number and call me later. When you can talk.”

I look down to the notepad sitting by the phone and see Dad’s

scratchy writing. “I’ve already got it from last night.”

“Okay, cool. Call me later then.”

“Okay, bye.”

I hang up and look at my family. “What?”

Dad shakes his head. “Nothing. You ready?”

I tear off the sheet of paper with Ethan’s number and shove it in my bag.

Who would have thought we could walk out of Wal-Mart with two

full buggies when we’re scraping by on what the suits give us? Dad got his paycheck from the factory yesterday but he’ll have to pay some bills with it. I’m shocked we loaded up on so much food when we could get pulled out of here any day, but maybe Dad is planning on us being here a while.

Dad gave Teeny and me twenty bucks each and after adding it

to some of my own money, I replenished some of our personal items from the bag like a new crossword book I thought Teeny would

like and some lip gloss and mascara for me. All in all, we spent almost three hours inside the store, including having lunch at the

—S

McDonald’s in the back. He’s never let us splurge like this; forget

—N

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that Mom used to spend this much every week just getting her hair and nails done. I wonder again if this has anything to do with the call last night.

Teeny’s happy. She got a new book and a Monopoly board game.

She’s decided that tonight is game night and everyone has to play.

Mom looks even more tired if that’s possible. Pretty shaky, too.

I really hope she can power through it and not drink.

Despite Mom looking so terrible, Dad actually seems pleased.

This is the longest amount of time we’ve spent as a family in months.

Inside the store, we got each item on the list in the order it was listed, even if it meant leaving the produce section to walk across the store for a cleaning product then back to produce. I’m pretty sure he planned that on purpose to draw the trip out.

When we get home, Mom tries to help with the groceries but

she looks beat down. Dad suggests she take a hot bath and grab a nap. Dad’s smile is gone and all three of us spend about twenty minutes putting everything away. When we’re done, the kitchen

actually looks like people live here.

I convince Teeny to open the game and the three of us start

playing. Teeny’s bummed since we’re technically having game night at two o’clock in the afternoon but she goes along anyway. This used to be our favorite game to play. She’s a master, buying up everything she lands on no matter how measly the rent it is.

We play until Dad and I are both out of money and Teeny’s

sitting on the whole bank. I haven’t been back to the laundry room since that night, but I can’t put it off any longer. Plus, it’s the middle S—

of the afternoon and I have Teeny with me, although what good

N—

she’ll do I don’t know.

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Teeny brings her new book and I bring the piece of paper with

Ethan’s number and a handful of quarters.

Once the clothes are going, Teeny settles down in one of the

chairs to read and I walk to the pay phone that I spotted earlier in the week. I wonder if Dad knows about the phone down here. I drop the coins in the slot. Ethan answers on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey. It’s Meg.”

“Hey. Where are you?”

“Mary and I are doing laundry. I need to stay with the clothes so they don’t disappear.”

“Cool. I’m glad you called. I was hoping maybe we could go see a movie tonight. Or hang out. Something low-key. Nothing that

will involve running from the cops.”

I laugh and take a minute to think. I remember my regret this

morning. Say no or say yes? Say no. Every time I say yes, I wish I wouldn’t have. Definitely say no.

“A movie sounds good.”

“I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Okay. Bye.” I want to bang my head in with the receiver. Can’t I say no even once? I turn around just as Agent Thomas walks into the laundry room.

—S

—N

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RULES FOR DISAPPEARING

BY WITNESS PROTECTION PRISONER #18A7R04M:

Educate yourself on what you plan to lie about. It sucks when you say your family is from Arkansas and then not be able to answer a damn thing about Arkansas.

Sheerpanic runs through my entire system. I left the go-bag

in the house. How friggin’ stupid can I be? The color drains from Teeny’s face. She curls into a ball in the chair and starts screaming.

I sprint to her chair, dropping down beside her and repeat, “It’s okay” over and over.

Agent Thomas holds his hands up quickly. “No, it’s not what

you’re thinking. Came by to check on you.”

What? Check on us? He about gave me a heart attack just so he

can check on us? I take a deep breath and count to ten. Then twenty.

Still pissed.

Agent Thomas kneels down beside me and whispers to Teeny,

“I didn’t mean to scare you. Just came by to check on things. Your sister is right, it will be okay.”

I move Teeny behind me and ask, “What do you want?”

Agent Thomas motions for me to step outside. I hesitate, not

S—

really wanting to be alone with him, but it’s probably better not to N—

include Teeny.

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I kneel in front of her chair. “It’s all good. I’m going out to talk to him.”

“Don’t leave me!” Her voice cracks and hands shake.

“No, I won’t leave you. I swear. You heard him, he’s just checking in. If he was gonna take us, we’d be gone by now.” I hand her the book she dropped on the floor. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Agent Thomas is leaning against the building, waiting for me.

“I really didn’t mean to upset her like that.”

I cross my arms. “Whatever. You guys normally don’t just come

check on us.”

“Well, we’re afraid things are getting out of hand.”

“What do you mean ‘out of hand’?”

“Your mother. The drinking. We tried talking to your dad but

he’s not being very cooperative.”

“She’s better. She hasn’t had a drink in three days. Why did my mother have your number? There’s a hotline we can call if we need help.”

He cocks his head toward me and waits a moment before

answering. “I’m worried about her. I was trying to see if she needed any help.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, right. Do the other suits know you’re

contacting her?” I really don’t know the protocol here but I seem to have caught him off guard so I’m rolling with it.

Agent Thomas pushes away from the building. “Are you ready

to move again? Are you so tired of this placement already? How do you think your sister will handle another move? If your family has to be relocated again, for any reason, it will be to a permanent

—S

safe house situation until it’s time to go to trial. No more identities,

—N

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Meg. You understand what this means.”

I understand there’s no way my family can handle being stuck

in a safe house, day after day. I pace around in a small circle, forcing down the urge to either run away or vomit. I’m scared, really scared that I might not be able to handle being watched by suits 24/7.

Then I remember Ethan and all his questions. He has no idea what his curiosity could do to us.

“Things aren’t that bad. And how can you really say my dad

isn’t cooperative? We’re here aren’t we?” I taste bile in the back of my throat.

He gives me a look that says
I’m not a dumbass
. “Meg, tell me how bad it is. Do you think she’s going to do something to jeop-ardize your placement here?” His voice drops and he truly looks concerned for us. “Is there anything I can do to help? We’re on your side in all this.”

“No. Mom doesn’t like moving any more than the rest of us.

She’ll be fine. Is that all?” I need him to leave. Now.

“For now.” He pulls a white business card out of his pocket.

“Call me if something happens. If you need any help.”

I shove the card in my back pocket. “Nothing’s gonna come up.”

Agent Thomas walks away. Once he’s completely out of sight, I

turn and puke my Big Mac and fries into the bushes.

Teeny cries when she finds out I’m going to the movies with Ethan.

I’m not sure if she’s mad because she can’t go with us, or if she’s a little jealous I have a date with him.

S—

“Teeny, let’s go out to dinner. You pick the spot. Just you and N—

me,” Dad says.

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The more normal Teeny is, the better Dad handles her.

Teeny’s sitting on the arm of the couch, pouting. “I want to go to Pearl’s.”

You’d think she’d be tired of pizza.

“Great. Pearl’s it is. But only if you make my pizza.” He’s teasing her, trying to cheer her up.

She rolls her eyes. “Fine, let’s go.” I’m kind of glad to see her upset like this. It’s the old bratty upset she did back home when she didn’t get her way.

Dad and Teeny leave and I wait on the steps for Ethan. It took me a long time this afternoon to get over Agent Thomas’s visit. I debated whether or not to tell Dad, and thought it might be the perfect way to bring up the phone call last night. If he’s got some way out of this already in the works, I don’t want to screw it up. I’m almost scared to know who he was talking to.

I’m so confused. I don’t even know what I want to happen

anymore. When we first started running, all I wanted was to go back home. Even though that meant dealing with Laura and Elle, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

Now I don’t know if I could go back there. Or if I even want to anymore. The way we live now is so far from how we lived before.

It’d be hard to go back and act like none of this has changed me, like I’m still the girl whose biggest concern is what I’m wearing to the next party.

Lights flash across the parking lot when Ethan pulls in. I jump up and run to the truck.

“Hey,” I say once I’m inside.

—S

“Hey.” He looks at my bag. Then at me. “I know some girls who

—N

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won’t go anywhere without their purse, but I’ve never seen anyone drag around their luggage.”

The one thing I was hoping he wouldn’t mention is the first

thing he says to me. “Ha, ha. It’s stupid, I know, but it’s coming with us.”

“It’s huge. Why do you carry it everywhere you go?”

I shake my head. “Just forget the bag,” I beg. “So what movie are we going to?”

He glances at the bag once more then lets it go. “Well, there are two new ones out. One looks scary as hell and the other is about some girl and a guy and I think a dog.”

God, he is so cute. He’s trying to make it sound like he wants to see a romantic comedy. But I’m cool with the scary one. I don’t necessarily want to see some happily-ever-after movie. Too depressing.

“Let’s go with scary. But I have to have a big bucket of popcorn because I eat when I’m nervous.”

He looks like he got a stay of execution. “That’s awesome. Girls don’t usually like scary movies.”

“Yes, we do. But we force you to sit through the chick flicks, so maybe you’ll get some idea of how you’re supposed to act.”

He laughs. “You know the exact opposite happens. Those guys

usually look like total dumbasses.”

We pull into the cinema parking lot and walk up to the ticket

box office. He holds my hand like he did walking into the party last night and I want to lean into him, snuggling up close, but I chicken out. I remember how cozy Will and Catherine were and I’m jealous.

S—

That’s what I want—something natural and comfortable. Not what N—

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devising ways to be with him. And it wasn’t what I had with Tyler either.

Ethan buys the tickets and we head to the concession counter.

We load up: popcorn, candy, drinks, and even hot dogs. We can

barely get the doors to our theater open with our arms so full.

We find two seats in the back row and try to get comfortable

with everything spread across our laps.

“We may have overdone it. I don’t know how we’re gonna eat

all this,” I say. We barely get ourselves settled before the room goes dark.