THE SANCTUARY (22 page)

Twenty-Three

THE GOOD FIGHT

“I
t’s so unfair of her. She’s making this huge decision without taking me into account. She’s not even fighting. I’ve heard all this talk this summer about how fearless my mom is, but it seems to me that she’s too afraid to fight,” Grace sobbed.

“I know it seems that way, honey, but I think your mom’s doing what she thinks is best. I think that she doesn’t want to subject you to more than she has to.”

“Did she ask me? No! What if I want her to fight it even if it only gets us a few more months together? This is so unfair! We missed so much while I was away at boarding school or she was gone on assignment. Now we’re getting a chance to hang out and spend time together. Finally, I have a good relationship with my mom, and she’s going to die!” Grace screamed.

“It isn’t fair. Life often isn’t,” Lydia agreed. She couldn’t do anything else but stroke her hair and hold Grace while she cried. There wasn’t anything else she could do or say to help. She was angry, too. She had lost three years due to stupid stubbornness. Or had it been about alpha status? She and Liz had always struggled over leadership. Both had strong personalities and thought they knew what was best. Now she realized that didn’t matter. All that mattered was keeping Liz alive and well.

Lydia, Sonya, and Julia had met secretly when Lydia got back to town. She had told Liz that she needed to get some groceries and take care of some errands, which she did before meeting up with Julia and Sonya. It was supposed to be a strategy meeting to determine what to do about Liz, but they were all so upset that they cried for the better part of an hour before they could discuss anything. Lydia assured them that Liz had been adamant that she didn’t want treatment. Sonya had suggested an intervention, but Lydia was reluctant to pressure Liz into treatment. Having seen the wrath of cancer with her brother and mother, she felt it was a personal choice that should be respected.

She had suggested that they try to get Liz to change her mind by showing her how much she had to live for. They knew their best shot was Grace, so Julia had brought her to the island. They hadn’t told Grace their plan, but sensed she knew her role. If Liz wasn’t willing to fight on behalf of her daughter, then what else could possibly convince her?

They hoped that sharing special memories would make Liz see that life was worth fighting for. At the very least, their tactics would give Grace some precious memories to hold on to, they reasoned. That brought them all to tears again.

“I want you to leave, Liddie. I want you to go to South Dakota like you planned,” Liz said as they sat on the porch watching the sunset.

Lydia didn’t answer.

“I’m serious. You’ve done enough. You’ve already been through this with your mom and brother. I won’t let you take care of me too, at least not anymore. I’ve got plenty of groceries, and Sonya and Julia can come out as their schedules permit and check on me. When it gets really bad, I’ll go to the hospital.”

“You’re crazy, Liz. As you pointed out, I’ve been through this, and I know that you won’t be able to take care of yourself. I never pegged you for a quitter. At least my mom and Tommy fought with everything they had. You’re just giving up.”

“Did their fighting change the outcome?” Liz demanded.

“I think so,” Lydia said quietly.

“Bullshit. They died, didn’t they? Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s the truth,” Liz said.

“Yes, they died. We’re all going to die. But they had a longer life than if they had done nothing. Don’t you owe it to Grace to fight this?”

“I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I don’t want to suffer. I don’t want anyone to have to take care of me, to help me in and out of bed. To help feed me. To count out my medications. I don’t want to die like that,” Liz cried.

“Newsflash. You are dying, and no matter how it happens, it isn’t pretty. You can barely walk down to the beach without panting. You don’t have enough energy to do much of anything, but this is nothing. You think you’ll just die in your sleep like Sleeping Beauty? The pain will…well, let’s just say that you have no idea how much worse this will get,” Lydia said. “Liz, I’ve spoken with the head of the Medical University of South Carolina. They have one of the best cancer programs in the country. There is a treatment, even for someone in Stage IV. It’s not curable, and you will have to endure a lot, but it will buy you some time. Won’t you at least go talk to him? Just one meeting, and then I’ll leave you alone. Do it for Grace. Do it for the CGFs who have always done whatever you wanted us to do!”

Sonya, Julia, and Grace appeared in the doorway. “Yeah, you owe us,” Julia said. She opened the screen door, and Grace emerged onto the porch. She stopped in front of her mother and knelt down.

“I know we haven’t always had the best relationship. I know a lot of that is my fault. I was an obnoxious teenager. I didn’t realize everything that you went through to have me and how hard you’ve worked to provide for me. But things are different now. I want that to continue, but it can’t if you’re not here. I want—need—you here as long as possible. Don’t you want that, too?” Grace asked.

Liz began crying softly. “I do, sweetie. I really do. But I’m so afraid. I’ve never been afraid in my life, and now I am so scared. I don’t think I can do this,” she said.

“Liz Goldberg can do anything she sets her mind to. Period,” Julia said with a quivering smile.

“You know it!” Sonya said.

“Especially with our help. We’re not going anywhere. End of discussion,” Lydia said.

“But I don’t want you to give up your plans to go to South Dakota,” Liz said.

“Well, you’re not the boss of me. Besides, I’m not giving anything up. I’m just postponing my plans for a little while,” Lydia said.

“So?” Grace asked.

“How about if I promise to go meet with the doctor and hear what he has to say? That’s all I can promise for now,” Liz said firmly.

“It’s a start,” Grace said, hugging her mother.

Liz met with the doctor after she had done all the lab work he required and gotten copies of her medical records. Lydia took her into Charleston. She waited outside, pacing the waiting room. It was nearly an hour before Liz emerged. They were supposed to go over to C of C and see Grace’s dorm room. It was her first week of school. They still had time before they were supposed to meet Grace, so they sat on a bench in front of the hospital.

“I’m going to do it,” Liz announced after several minutes of silence.

“Really?” Lydia could scarcely believe the change in attitude.

“Yeah, I like Dr. Rosenberg. Did you know he’s single? Divorced three months ago. I like what he had to say. He’s a straight shooter. I admire that.”

“Grace will be thrilled that you’ve agreed to treatment,” Lydia said.

“I’m so glad I was able to spend this time at the Sanctuary. I’ve had such peace and good times with y’all,” Liz said. “I hate to leave, but I can’t commute for these treatments. They have these tiny apartments patients can lease short-term. They’re across the street from the hospital, attached by a covered walkway. Orderlies come to get you and take you back. And there’s twenty-four-hour care available. So, I think that’s the best option. He gave me all the paperwork.”

She held up the packet of papers.

“Get a two-bedroom so I can stay until you’re done with the treatments,” Lydia said.

“Listen carefully, my dear friend. I appreciate your offer and everything you’ve done, more than you know, but you need to start taking care of yourself. I’ll have the whole staff at the medical center taking care of me, not to mention Julia, Sonya, and Grace. I’ll be fine. You need to go. You haven’t allowed yourself to grieve, which you have to do if you ever hope to heal. You need a change of scenery, you said so yourself. You need to start taking care of yourself for a change instead of everyone else. Besides, I need you to go get everything in tip-top shape for my arrival. When I finish all this, I plan to come to Palmer Gulch and be pampered in that new spa,” Liz said.

“If you’re sure,” Lydia said hesitantly.

“I’m not only sure, I insist. There’s just one more thing I need from you,” Liz said.

Twenty-Four

TIME FOR THE TRUTH

“L
iddie said you wanted to talk to me in private,” Julia said, handing Liz a glass of iced tea as she sat down beside her on the front porch.

They had enjoyed a fabulous going-away party the night before. Even though Liz wasn’t able to do much, she had thought of everything. The others happily took orders from her. Sonya gathered firewood for the bonfire on the beach. Julia carried the chairs and table down to the beach. Lydia baked a hummingbird cake, and although it had turned out slightly lopsided, it had tasted delicious. They all carried a dish down to the beach where they enjoyed a Lowcountry feast al fresco. They had gathered their chairs in a circle around the bonfire and played charades and told stories and laughed so hard that Julia fell out of her chair once.

It was just the four of them. They didn’t invite Grace. She had just started her classes and Liz wanted her to stay focused. Besides, even though they had made Chris and Grace honorary CGFs, Liz wanted that last night at the Sanctuary to be just the four of them. The night culminated in a midnight swim in the ocean sans clothing. Liz cheered the others on as they stripped down.

“We all have swimming suits up at the house. I don’t understand why we can’t wear them,” Julia grumbled.

“That’s not how the CGFs roll!” Sonya replied.

“Wild and crazy ’til the end!” Lydia agreed.

“Not me! This is the last time I’m getting talked into doing anything stupid. I mean it this time!” Julia argued.

“I wish I had my camera!” Liz called as she watched the three silhouettes in bras and panties plunge into the surf.

Shivering, they ran back to the house while Liz slowly brought up the rear. They showered Liz with practical and silly gifts, including a very expensive Christian Dior silk pajama and robe set, a thermometer (to check Dr. Rosenberg’s temperature to make sure that Liz wasn’t getting the good doctor too hot!) and a case of pudding cups and canned protein shakes in a variety of flavors.

She had wanted to end it on that note but knew that she had to tell Julia the truth. She owed it to Grace and John to finally tell the truth. She knew that once she told Julia, it would change their relationship forever. But change was what life was all about and forever sounded pretty good about now.

“Have a seat. We need to talk,” Liz said.

Twenty-Five

GOODBYE

I
t had been hard for Lydia to return home. It had always been where she and David had lived, but now it was a symbol of another lifetime. A bygone era. Besides, she couldn’t afford to keep the house. She had found a couple who wanted to rent it. They were interested in buying it if this job transfer became permanent.

Julia had wanted to help her pack, but Lydia refused the offer. She needed to do this alone. She had smiled when she found a matchbook from their favorite restaurant. She laughed for a ridiculously long time at a photo of David in a silly pose in their garden. She glanced at the time stamp. Was that really four years ago they tried to grow organic vegetables during one of their attempts to eat healthier? She cried when she discovered the reservation receipt for the camping trip they never got to take.

As she wandered into each room taking one last look to make sure she hadn’t missed anything, memories kept popping into her mind. They were happy ones that she mentally boxed up to take with her. The movers were coming in the morning, and after they finished, she would begin her journey across the country and into a new chapter of her life.

That reminded her to make sure the Governors Grey Tea from Charleston Plantation Tea and benne wafers were packed where she could easily find them. She had promised Mattie and Chris a Lowcountry tea party to celebrate her arrival. They were going to have it in the log cabin they had prepared for her. It had been the biggest and best rental cabin. She had protested, but Chris insisted she have it. Once Chris told her that it was the first cabin at Palmer Gulch Resort and that David had helped build it, Lydia acquiesced. She felt like David would still be with her as she began her new life, and the cozy cabin would be just down the hill from her new family.

She was sad that this chapter of her life had come to an end, but excited about the future. She was looking forward to rolling up her sleeves and working hard to help Chris make Palmer Gulch Lodge a success. And she had made another important decision.

Next summer she was going to resurrect Camp Yemmassee, only it would be called Sanctuary Summer Camp and would be for kids with terminal illnesses. The idea had come to her while she was on the island taking care of Liz. She remembered Liz going on about how at peace she had felt. She was afraid that Liz had planned to stay there until she died, but they had convinced her to seek treatment. The Nature Conservancy had already consented to give short nature tours, talks, and programs to the campers, as well as boat tours from the island over to Brookgreen Gardens where they would enjoy the expansive gardens and boxed picnic lunches. There was still a lot of work to be done, including a lot of paperwork and the construction of a couple of handicapped accessible cabins for the boys and girls, but she could do it. Julia’s daughter, Marla, was going to be a counselor and so was Grace. Liz could stay too if she felt up to it.

She needed to call Liz while she was thinking about it. She had been so busy that she hadn’t been able to visit yet and figured that Liz was in treatment or sleeping, so she hadn’t worried when her calls went to voicemail. But it had been more than a week since their last brief conversation. Liz hadn’t sounded good, but that was to be expected under the circumstances. She had assured her that she was fine, just wiped out from the treatments. Lydia hated that she might wake her, but she wanted to hear her friend’s voice, even if only for a minute or two. When the call to Liz’s cell phone went to voicemail once again, she looked up the phone number and called the hospital.

“What do you mean she’s not there?” Lydia asked.

“Just what I said, Mrs. Coble. We have no patient in our oncology unit by that name,” the nurse said.

“Can you check again, please?
G-O-L-D-B-E-R-G, Elizabeth. I dropped her off about three weeks ago.”

“On this floor?” she asked.

“Well, no. I was having trouble finding a parking space, and Liz insisted that I just let her out at the front door. She swore that she would be fine, and there was no need for me to come in and hang around while she filled out paperwork and got settled. I had an appointment with the realtor, so I agreed. But I’ve spoken with her. She told me that she wasn’t feeling up to visitors at this stage in her treatment. So I didn’t drive over to Charleston, but I have spoken with her on her cell phone several times—until recently. The last several days my calls go to voicemail, and she hasn’t called me back. I finally looked up the main number and called the hospital switchboard. After being transferred a couple of times, I was told you were the person I needed to speak with. Maybe I need to talk to someone else instead?” Lydia asked.

“I don’t see how that will help. We all access the same computer database, and it’s simply not showing a patient by that name. Besides, I know all the patients on my floor. Do you want to talk to my supervisor?” she asked.

“Yes, please,” Lydia said.

After an unproductive conversation with Supervisor Wheeler, Lydia spoke with Grace, Julia, and Sonya. They reported the same thing. They had spoken to Liz several times, but none had seen her. She had discouraged it by saying that she wanted Grace to focus on classes since this was her first semester, Julia should focus on her new job, and that Sonya needed to take it easy since she was in her last trimester. Liz told them that she really didn’t feel up to visitors yet. At this stage, she was either in treatment, sick from the aftermath of treatment, or sleeping.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Sonya said.

“Me too,” Grace agreed.

“I think that Liz has done something very Liz-like here,” Lydia said.

“I’m afraid that you’re right,” Julia agreed.

Julia borrowed a boat from one of John’s friends and met the girls at the Georgetown dock. They hightailed it over to Sanctuary Island. While the others were guessing what was going on with Liz, Lydia remained quiet. She knew already. Liz had never intended to get treatment. She just told them that to get them to leave her alone. Somehow, she had gotten back to the island.

All the lights were on in the house, a radio was playing classic rock, and the front door was unlocked.

“Liz!” they called, running from room to room. The house was a mess. There were dirty dishes piled up in the sink, trash overflowing from bags strewn about the kitchen, and the bed was unmade in the room where Liz had slept. Lydia had made it the morning they left for Charleston. As if all that wasn’t evidence enough Liz’s luggage was in the closet and her clothes were strewn about the bedroom.

“Where is she?” Grace demanded.

Satisfied that she wasn’t in the house, they continued their search outside. Lydia left the door open as they exited. She wanted to air the house out, to get rid of the stench. She knew that smell all too well. It was the stench of sickness and dying.

Grace ran down to the beach.

Sonya headed towards the maritime forest.

Julia went to check out the salt marsh.

Lydia made her way to the Village.

A woman was sitting in front of one of the huts. She didn’t seem surprised to see Lydia at all. She motioned for her to come. When Lydia was standing in front of her, the woman stood up and waved Lydia inside.

It was dark in the hut. The windows had been shuttered to keep the light out. When her eyes finally adjusted to the dim light, she saw a figure in through a doorway. Again, the woman waved her in that direction. As she approached, she saw an elderly man sitting by the bed. He had been chanting softly until Lydia arrived. She knew that she had never seen the man before, yet he looked familiar. When he gently touched her on the shoulder and mumbled a few words as he exited, Lydia was sure he was the conjurer from the voodoo ceremony they had witnessed many years ago. Was that possible?

Lydia didn’t linger on that thought after seeing the frail figure lying in the bed. There was no doubt whom it was. Only it wasn’t. This person was a ghost of the strikingly beautiful and resilient person she had known most of her life.

“Liz?”

Liz opened her eyes and asked, “Liddie?”

Her voice was so soft and weak that Lydia had to lean into her until their faces were nearly touching to hear her.

“Liz, what were you thinking?” Lydia asked as she brushed a damp strand of curl off Liz’s forehead.

“Hospital gown…not my style,” Liz tried to smile.

“We need to get you some help,” Lydia said.

“Too late…listen…drawer…bedroom. My documents, passwords…money…for Sanctuary…for Grace’s college. Tell Grace…I love her. Promise you’ll…promise…protect,” Liz said so faintly that Lydia had to practically press her ear against Liz’s lips.

“I will. We all will. Julia, John, Sonya, me—all of us will be here for Grace. And so will you. This isn’t the end yet. We just need to get you to the hospital. I’m going to run back and get the others. Just hang on,” Lydia said.

When Liz squeezed her hand, it felt cold and clammy. “Liddie, it’s time.”

“No!” Lydia screamed.

“Remember...
It’s just nature
…the way things are.”

And then Liz closed her eyes, and her hand slipped away. As Lydia reached out to check her pulse, she saw that her other hand gripped a gris-gris bag. That could only come from a conjurer, so maybe that was him. But she never found out because she never saw the man again. She went back to the Sanctuary many times over the years but never returned to the Village.

They figured out what had happened after talking to the doctor. Liz had met with the oncologist, but he had not given her good news. He agreed with his colleagues at the hospitals who had seen her in New York and Rapid City. He didn’t think that Liz was a viable candidate for the experimental treatments since her cancer was so advanced. She had thanked him for his time. Then she obviously concocted this plan that involved convincing everyone she was in treatment. She was determined not to be a burden to anyone. Somehow, she managed to get supplies and get back to the island. She probably hired a local fisherman or someone she found with a boat down at the docks. The house was never locked, so she had no problem getting inside. From there, they could only guess what had happened. Probably when the pain got too great, she went for help but never made it. Or maybe she knew the end was near and didn’t want to die alone.

Some boys found her not too far from the Village. They ran and got their elders who brought Liz to the healing hut. The conjurer was summoned. When it was realized that it was too late to help her, he performed a ritual for her afterlife. All they were told by the authorities who spoke with the Gullah when they claimed the body and investigated the death was that it would protect her soul upon her death. They wondered if it had been anything like the ceremony they had witnessed so many years ago. They all hoped so.

After her body had been taken to the morgue and officially released by the coroner, he asked where the next-of-kin wanted it sent.

“Mom always loved this place and chose to spend her final days here, so I think that’s where she would want to be buried. If that’s okay with you,” Grace said.

“Absolutely,” Lydia agreed.

Arrangements were made, and Sonya, Michael, John and Julia and their kids, Grace, Lydia, Chris, and Mattie assembled for the ceremony. The Goldbergs did not attend. They wanted a traditional Jewish ceremony and burial, even though Liz had not been raised in that manner. They didn’t want any part of this “ridiculous” event.

She was buried near the entrance to the maritime forest. Julia attempted a Gullah burial ritual, but no one had any idea if she did it right. They thought that Liz would have liked it.