The Scars of Us (25 page)

In that moment, Ryker looked… vulnerable. I’d never seen him look that way—he was always so confident and cocky. “No, he doesn’t,” I smiled reassuringly.

The left corner of Ryker’s lip curved into his trademark grin that I loved so much. “Ready to go home?”

“Yours or mine?”

His smile morphed to a devious, lustful smirk. “Mine.”

Everything had been going so well with Kaiya over the past few weeks that I was afraid something bad was going to happen to balance it all out. Things just couldn’t possibly stay this good; they never did.

We had been spending every other Saturday working on self-defense routines one-on-one. Kaiya had been wanting more practice ever since she started coming back to class after her hiatus. The meeting she had about her abuser had really shaken her up, but at the same time, it had made her more determined. She had begun to ask more questions and wanted to try new techniques to improve her form and skills, in addition to wanting the extra classes.

One Saturday morning, Kaiya and I were working on rear hold escape techniques when
he
walked in. At first, I thought I was dreaming, possibly hallucinating, because there was no fucking way that he would really be there. The last time we spoke, I threatened to bash his face in if I ever saw him again.

Stepping away from Kaiya, I clenched my fists in anger. “What the fuck are you doing here, Ethan?” I growled.

Ethan held his chin up confidently, but I could see the apprehension in his eyes. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously. “Good to see you, too, Ryker. Tristan’s birthday is coming up. I thou—”

“You thought what? That I’d forget what you and that whore did to me?” I seethed.

A muscle in Ethan’s jaw ticked as he gritted, “She’s not a whore. She’s my wife and the mother of my child—your nephew.”

“I don’t have a brother, so how can I have a nephew?” I asked condescendingly as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“I don’t know why I thought you would’ve changed. Everyone told me you wouldn’t have, but I hoped that you would’ve matured after this long,” he spat.

“This has nothing to do with maturity. This,” I emphasized as I gestured between us, “is because my own brother betrayed me. I don’t know if you forgot, but I told you that I never wanted to see you again. So, get the fuck out!” I roared angrily.

Ethan’s furious expression faded somewhat as sadness took over his features.
Good—I hope he hurts as bad as he hurt me.
Wordlessly, he turned and exited the room, glancing back only once before he walked out of my sight.

I don’t know how long I stood there before Kaiya tenderly placed her hand on my bicep. “You okay?”

I was far from okay—seeing him had ripped open my scars and threw acid in the open wounds. But I lied, not wanting to burden her with my issues since she had enough to deal with on her own. “I’m fine, baby.”

She gave me a knowing look as she moved in front of me. “You can tell me, Ryker. I’m here for you.” She linked our hands together.

Kaiya’s words thawed some of the ice that had started to freeze within my chest from seeing Ethan. She smiled warmly at me when I looked down at her. She’d already trusted me with so much, opened up to me more than she had with anyone else besides Kamden and Nori. I owed it to her to open up, as well. Sighing, I replied, “That was my brother, Ethan. We haven’t spoken in over four years.”

“Why?”

“Right after high school, I met this girl, Molly. We dated through college, and she ended up getting pregnant during our senior year. At first, I was scared, shocked actually, but then I was so happy. I loved her and was excited to be starting a family together. I proposed to her a few months after we found out, and she said yes.”

“What happened?” Her eyes held a look of concern as they searched my face.

I released another heavy breath. “When Molly was around eight months pregnant, she told me that the baby wasn’t mine—it was Ethan’s.”

Kaiya’s hand flew to her mouth as her eyes watered. “Oh my God! Ryker, I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t be—it’s not your fault. I blamed myself for the longest time, wondering what I did wrong.”
Wow, I’m really opening myself up here.

“You did nothing wrong! They’re the ones who were wrong! I can’t believe that your own broth—” She abruptly stopped, her eyes widening as if she realized something.

“What?” I asked as she shook her head and hugged herself.

“Nothing,” she quickly responded. Avoiding my gaze, she began to tense up. Most people wouldn’t have even noticed it, but I did. I had learned so much about her over the past few months that I knew that she was holding something in.

Pulling her to me, I wrapped her in my arms. Even though she probably thought I was only trying to comfort her, in reality, I also needed to hold her, to feel her against me. Seeing Ethan had resurfaced so many bad feelings that I wanted her to wash away, like she always was able to do. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You can trust me, Warrior.”

She buried her face in my chest. “I know, it’s just hard for me to talk about.” Her voice was muffled against my shirt. “I… I don’t want you to be disgusted by me.”

Framing her face in my hands, I forced her to look up at me, “I could never be disgusted by you. Ever.”

Her lips trembled as tears began to rain down her cheeks. “I… I have another brother. His name is Kaleb. He… he was the one who abused me when I was little.”

Holy shit.
I had no clue what to say, what to do to make it better, but I wanted to do anything to take the pain from her. “Oh, baby, no wonder you fight so much. I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t fight hard enough—I should have made him stop, but I was too weak. I’m still weak,” she sobbed, burying her face in my chest again.

I tilted her chin up to look at me again. “Hey, you’re not weak. You know how strong you are to survive something like that?”

“I survived, but I’m… damaged—completely damaged. Everything he did to me slowly broke me, leaving nothing but fragments for me to try and put back together.”

Looking deep into her eyes, I caressed her cheeks with my thumbs. “I’ll help you pick up the pieces if you let me, Warrior. I want to be the one to make you whole again.”

More tears flowed freely down her rosy cheeks as she clasped my face in her hands, bringing my mouth to hers. Her lips claimed mine with desperation as she pressed our bodies together, showing me how much my words meant to her. So much was said in that kiss, more than we could have expressed in words at that point—it spoke of hope, faith, and trust, helping both of us in the right direction to becoming whole again.

My arms had wrapped around her waist, lifting her to where her toes barely touched the ground. My hands began to roam lower, and I knew if we didn’t stop that I was going to end up taking her right there on the mat like our first time. The problem was that there were still people in the gym, unlike before when we were the only two there.

Breaking away, I set my forehead against hers. “If we don’t stop, I’m going to take you right here, right now.”

Reconnecting our lips, she whimpered with desire. “I need you.”

Fuck me.
There was no way I could say no to that. Picking her up, her legs wrapped around my waist as our mouths collided. I walked to the door before fumbling with the handle and locking it, then headed to the closet.

Once inside, I kicked the door closed. I maneuvered around most of the boxes and equipment before positioning us against one of the bags that lined the walls. No one should find us, unless one of the other employees happened to come in for some reason, but I really didn’t give a fuck at the moment—I had to have her.

As I moved her shorts and panties to the side, she grabbed my cock and pulled it out, eager for me to enter her. Guiding me to her, her hands placed my tip at her opening, which was already wet.

Slowly, I pushed myself inside her, gradually filling her until her pussy surrounded my length. We groaned in unison as I began to pound her against the bag, grasping her hips for deeper penetration.

My mouth found Kaiya’s neck as she continuously moaned, her cries of pleasure becoming louder and louder with each of my thrusts. Savoring her skin, I began to push her shirt up, needing to feel her flesh against mine. Kaiya maneuvered to help me take off her top before removing her sports bra, letting it fall to floor.

My shirt was added to the pile as Kaiya eagerly pulled it off. Her hands roamed over my shoulders and arms as my mouth claimed her breast, my tongue ring flicking over her hardened nipple. She arched against me as I moved to her other tit, sucking it deep into my mouth.

Wrapping her legs tighter around me, she forced my dick deeper inside her sex. Growling my approval, I thrust harder as her nails dug into my biceps and her head tipped back against the bag.

“Ryker?” a voice called out from outside the door.
Shit.

I stilled, my cock still inside Kaiya. Her eyes widened as she looked from me to the door and back again. Putting my finger to my lips, I gently set her down and slid myself out of her. I motioned for her to hide behind the bag as I put my dick back in my shorts and went toward the door.

Glancing over my shoulder, I made sure Kaiya was hidden from view then turned back around and exited.

One of the other trainers was in the middle of the studio, searching for me. “You need something?” I asked as I shut the door.

He turned around. “Where were you?” he asked suspiciously, looking over my shoulder.

“Doing inventory in the supply closet. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to tell you that Mark can’t make it to class tomorrow night, so he asked me to fill in for him. Is that cool?”

Really, you came in here and interrupted my sex session for that?
“Yeah, that’s fine. Be here at seven.”

“All right, see you tomorrow,” he replied as he walked to the door.

Once he left, I waited a minute or so before going back into the supply room. “The coast is clear,” I called out.

Kaiya peeked her head out from behind the bag before coming out of her hiding spot. Her face reddened in embarrassment. “That was a close one,” she said, straightening her sports bra and brushing her hair behind her ears with her fingers.

Chuckling, I made my way to her. “Yeah, it was. You want to pick up where we left off?”

“Ryker, we almost got caught,” she chided, even though a smile lined her lips.

“So?” I teased, but she gave me a disapproving look. “Fine, but we’re finishing this tonight.”

Grinning seductively at me, she agreed, “Deal.”

We spent another hour or so working on more techniques before I had a personal training session with another one of my clients. Kaiya planned to come over to my place after my shift ended, and I was looking forward to finishing what we had started.

When Kaiya arrived at my place, I had already set another plan into motion. I had been working on breaking another one of her rules, the one about staying over. I routinely broke the other two rules, almost nightly, so I was determined to break them all.
Two down, two to go.

Whenever she came over, I always asked her to spend the night, but she resisted me. I hadn’t stayed the night with a girl after that whore and I broke up, and I’d never wanted to until Kaiya. Everything was different with her, from the way she was able to make me smile so easily to the way she set a fire inside me with just one look. I loved every minute I spent with her.

We were hanging out on the couch watching T.V. when Kaiya mentioned, “I feel like dancing.”

I played with her hair, twirling it around my fingers. “Yeah?” I replied in surprise. We hadn’t been out to a club since the night that she’d been attacked.

“Can we go tonight?” She asked hopefully as she looked up at me.

I didn’t really see the point in going to a club when the main reason that I had gone to them before was to pick up girls. I didn’t need to do that anymore now that we were together. But I knew that Kaiya loved to dance, so I gave in. “Sure, baby. Where?”

“How about that new one that just opened up? I think it’s called,” she paused, looking up to the side and pursing her lips as she thought. “Tunnel.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it. We can go if you want.”

“Yay!” She hopped up off the couch excitedly. “I’ll call Nori. Maybe you should text Drew to meet us—they seemed to have fun together the last time.” She giggled as she tromped toward my bedroom.

I loved seeing her laugh—her smiles and laughs had become regular occurrences, replacing the scowls and sorrow that I had thought were permanently etched on her face. Some of the sadness still lingered at times when she thought I wasn’t looking, but I was able to chase it away for a while. My goal was to totally eradicate it one day. That would be my biggest challenge yet.

I got off the couch to get my phone from the counter. I sent a text to Drew, who was down with the idea since he had fun with Nori the last time. He hadn’t been able to close the deal with her, so I knew he’d be planning to tonight. If she was anything like Kaiya, he’d need all the luck he could get.