The Sea-Quel (14 page)

“Frankie, let go!” I shouted, but Frankie shook his fishy head. “Please. I'll only get one shot. If I miss, you could end up splatted on the wall.”

Pradeep was standing next to me. “You have to,” he said, and put the Robin Hood hat back on my head. “He can do it. And so can you, Tom.” He looked out into the audience. “I mean … Robin, thou must shootest the arrow. It is your destiny!” (I know Pradeep stole that last line from
Star Wars
instead of
Robin Hood
, but it suited the moment.)

Mark had reached Solomon's seat. He grabbed the hat and pulled it off, but Sami clamped her hands over Solomon's eyes and wouldn't let go.

“Swishy fishy say, ‘Ptwwwwwwwwwwwt!'” she said, and blew a raspberry at Mark.

It was now or never. I pulled back on the bow and fired the arrow
and Frankie
at Mark's face!

“Evil Scientist, you are
so
thwarted!” I yelled.

Mark turned and the suction-cup arrow hit him on the forehead and stuck there.

As soon as it hit, Frankie clung onto the arrow with his front fins and started fish-slapping Mark around the face with his tail.

“Get him off! Get the moron fish off me!” Mark yelled.

Pradeep stepped forward. “That rogue is now our prisoner. Get him!” Pradeep looked at the confused-looking Guards and Merry Men and Rich Travelers and even the horse. “Get him!” he repeated with a yell.

The cast jumped down into the audience and dragged Mark onstage while he was still trying to swat Frankie off his face.

The whole hall was going crazy. People were shouting. The audience was confused. The kids onstage didn't know what was going on, and no one, not even me, could get Frankie to stop fish-slapping Mark.

Mrs. Flushcowski had turned so pale that I thought she would keel over at any second. I suddenly had an idea of how to calm everyone down.

I went up onstage and whispered to Katie Plefka, who had been fanning Lady-in-Waiting Number Three with a bit of cardboard after she fainted when I fired the fish arrow. Katie nodded, walked to the center of the stage, and started to sing.

When the first notes hit Frankie's ears, he stopped fish-slapping Mark, jumped into the water-filled quiver I was holding out to him, and started to sway to the music. The audience went quiet. Sami gently uncovered Solomon Caldwell's eyes and sat on the floor next to his chair, rocking to the music. Solomon looked straight at the stage. The Merry Men and the Guards quietly tied up Mark with some of his own Evil Scientist wrist ties while the rest of the cast sat and listened to Katie sing.

When Katie hit her last note, the audience burst into applause.

Katie smiled (and I think I spotted her head grow a little bit, but not too much).

Pradeep and I walked over and stood on either side of her.

“Hooray for Maid Marian!” I shouted.

“Hooray for Robin Hood!” shouted one of the Merry Men.

“Hooray for them both!” shouted a Lady-in-Waiting.

I took off the Robin Hood hat and put it on Pradeep's head. The audience clapped.

“Wait, I have something to say!” Solomon Caldwell spoke in a loud clear voice. The audience fell silent.

He walked slowly to the stage.

CHAPTER 13

FRANKIE STEALS THE SHOW

“That is the most mesmerizing voice I have heard in years,” he said, looking at Katie. “I would love for you to appear on
Talent or No Talent
.”

The audience clapped again.

Right away Pradeep and I looked at Solomon Caldwell's eyes for signs he was zombified. But he wasn't mumbling and he definitely wasn't looking up anyone's nostril.

We shot each other a look that said, “Could Frankie have wiped Mark's orders from Solomon Caldwell's brain before he opened his eyes, or is Katie only getting on the show because Mark hypnotized Solomon?”

“
That's not fair! You were supposed to pick me!” Mark shouted, wriggling to get free of his ties. “I was supposed to win
Talent or No Talent
! I was supposed to win the prize!”

Solomon Caldwell continued, “I didn't say she'd won. There are lots of talented people out there. But I think she deserves a chance. What do you all say?” He looked out to the audience, and they all cheered.

I looked at Pradeep again. “He's not zombified. This is for real!”

“And this girl certainly isn't the only talented one at this school either.”

Mrs. Flushcowski started to get some color back into her cheeks.

“She isn't?” she said. “I mean, no, of course she isn't.” She smiled at him.

“Mrs. Flushcowski, can I just say on behalf of the audience that this is the most original production of
Robin Hood
I have ever seen? I must admit the first part was a bit slow. I think I even nodded off at one point? But I loved the casting of two Robin Hoods and them working together with the whole cast to defeat the, er, Evil Scientist. And involving the audience in the play like that? Wow! Although I would have liked to have seen more of the end.”

Just then Frankie splashed up from the top of the quiver and waved his tail like he was taking a bow, except he wasn't all zombie fish anymore. He was back to friendly Frankie. Phew!

“The fish arrow certainly was surprising,” Mrs. Flushcowski said. “Now I know what you were doing with the fish in the rehearsal,” she whispered to Pradeep. “You were planning this big finale!” She looked at Frankie. “But how did you get stage makeup on the fish to make his eyes look green?”

Pradeep whispered back, “Goldfish contact lenses—the latest thing.”

Mrs. Flushcowski, still looking a bit shaky, took a bow with Frankie.

“As I said, this school's got talent,” Solomon Caldwell said, and everyone clapped again.

Mrs. Flushcowski stood onstage between Pradeep and me. “I don't know what to say, boys. I'm not really sure what happened tonight, but I'm very sure about one thing.” She took another of her dramatic pauses. “You both make perfectly marvelous Robin Hoods.”

The curtain came down with Katie, Pradeep, Frankie, and I waving to the audience, Mrs. Flushcowski beaming with pride and the other kids in the show all jumping around saying what a cool night they'd had.

Mom came backstage just as I was pouring Frankie into a water bottle to take him home. She gave me a big embarrassing hug in front of everyone, but I let her get away with it just this once.

Then she went over to Mark. “I had no idea you were in Tom's play. You kept that a surprise. You made such a good villain that Mrs. Flushcowski wants to give you private acting lessons.”

Mark shot me a look that said, “I'll get you for this, moron!” as Mom dragged him off to speak to Mrs. Flushcowski.

Mrs. Kumar was right behind Mom and was carrying a very sleepy Sami. She brushed Pradeep's hair out of his eyes. “Now, there is my little man with a big heart, not a big head.” And she pinched his cheeks. He hates it when she does that, but he let her just this once. “I'll pull the car up outside, Pradeep. I don't think Sami can stay awake another minute. It was nice of you to let her be in the show though.”

Sami waved over Mrs. Kumar's shoulder as she was carried out. “Bye-bye, fishy!”

I looked at Pradeep. “I didn't get to say, with all the actual fighting evil and all, but you were a really great Robin Hood.”

“You too.” Pradeep smiled. “Hey, do you want to build the Supremely Secret Message Chute tomorrow?”

“Cool,” I said. “Oh yeah, and I have to teach you our new game. Frankie and me are so gonna trounce you at Splat, Splosh, Grrr.”

Just then Mrs. Flushcowski and Solomon Caldwell came over.

“I do hope that you boys will come back and star in next year's school play,” Mrs. Flushcowski said, “I haven't been that excited by a performance since I played ‘Third Woman with Sword' in
Zelda, Warrior Woman.
”

“I've heard so much about your act with the fish arrow too. If you ever want to do it on the show, just give me a call. You've
both
got talent.” Mr. Caldwell smiled his Hollywood smile and handed Pradeep his card.

Pradeep and I looked at each other. We exchanged looks that said, “Naaaaah,” then turned to Mrs. Flushcowski and Mr. Caldwell and said, “Naaaaah,” out loud.

Then Pradeep added, “I mean, no thanks. Tom and I think we should retire from showbiz now. We never realized theater was so dangerous.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, and Pradeep and I both looked over at Frankie being rocked to sleep in his water bottle by Katie Plefka. “Besides, Frankie would always steal the show.”

A F
EIWEL AND
F
RIENDS
B
OOK

An Imprint of Macmillan

 

MY BIG FAT ZOMBIE GOLDFISH: THE SEAQUEL.
Text copyright © 2013 by Mo O'Hara. Illustrations copyright © 2013 by Marek Jagucki. All rights reserved. For information, address Feiwel and Friends, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

 

A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the British Library

 

ISBN: 978-1-250-02920-1 (hardcover) / 978-1-4668-5697-4 (ebook)

 

Feiwel and Friends logo designed by Filomena Tuosto

 

The poetry extract
here
is taken from “Trees” by Joyce Kilmer, originally published in
Trees and Other Poems
by Joyce Kilmer by the George H. Doran Company in 1914.

 

Originally published in the UK by Macmillan Children's Books, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited.

 

First published in the United States by Feiwel and Friends, an imprint of Macmillan.

 

First U.S. Edition: 2014

 

eISBN 9781466856974

 

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