The SEAL Next Door (Alpha SEALs Book 5) (6 page)

The salty ocean breeze blew across the parking lot, and that combined with Brianna’s light floral scent and that long blonde hair of hers tickling his skin as it blew in the wind?

Torture.

It stirred up all sorts of feelings he didn’t want to acknowledge.  Made him think of all sorts of futures he shouldn’t contemplate.

Dancing with her had been heaven.  The perfect excuse to pull her into his arms, if only for the evening.  He’d never had an excuse to pull her close before.  She’d been young and fresh-faced when he left to join the military.  Cute in that sweet girl-next-door way, but not someone he could ever have.  And to finally get a reason tonight to have her in his arms?  Feeling those soft curves of Brianna’s pushed up against him had been hell.  Because she was everything he could never have.

Something had shifted between them after his revelation that he couldn’t ever be in a relationship—he’d seen the interest and then inevitable disappointment in her eyes.  It was crazy that out of all the women he’d ever been with, if he
could
settle down, Brianna might be the one.  Life was just full of crazy shit, wasn’t it?

“I had fun tonight,” Brianna murmured sleepily, glancing up at him with those sea green eyes.  “I didn’t know you could dance like that.  Wait until I tell Beckett.”

Matthew stiffened, recalling the slow dance where he’d held her closer than any man had a right to, and finally realized she was talking about before then, when they’d both let loose on the dance floor to the thumping music.

“Who do you think taught him his moves, darlin’?”

Brianna laughed, but Matthew cringed as he realized his error.  Dancing.  Wheelchair.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“I know what you meant,” Brianna assured him.  “You guys always had a trail of girls chasing after you.  It’s no wonder.”

Matthew glanced down at her in surprise, but she was already reaching for the door handle.  He eased open the car door for her, helping her to settle inside.  She let out a soft sigh as she nestled into the seat, and Matthew resisted the urge to bend over and buckle her seatbelt, brushing a kiss across her forehead.  Hell, he’d always watched out for her when they were kids.  Kept an eye on her from afar as they grew older.  But this?  Damn.  He wasn’t cut out for what he was feeling now.  Wanting to care for her, protect her.  Make her his.  He’d been home a few hours, and it felt damn near like his whole life had been turned upside down.

What would it be like cruising around Virginia Beach with Brianna in his pickup truck?  Having her be a constant part of his life?  They’d grab dinner, laugh over a few drinks.  Then at night they’d pull up to the dunes tucked away on the beach, watch the sunset, and make love on a blanket under the stars.

Hell.  Since when had he become so sappy?

He wasn’t the type of man to “make love” to a woman.  He enjoyed sex and giving the women he bedded pleasure, but it was for his satisfaction and theirs.  Not some happily-ever-after type shit.

And even if he was the relationship type, he had no doubt Beckett would kick his ass for chasing after his younger sister.  Missing leg be damned.  He smirked at the thought.  That was the first time he’d thought of his friend as “whole” again.  Not felt sorry for him, not felt guilty over what he still had that Beckett didn’t, but just imagined his buddy for what he was—a man. A brother. A Navy SEAL. And fucking hell if that didn’t feel pretty damn spectacular.  Maybe he could face everyone on Sunday without guilt eating him up inside after all.  Maybe he could be there for Beckett—and Brianna.

“Thanks for driving,” Brianna said sleepily as he slipped into the driver’s seat.

“Anytime, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart.

Where the hell had that come from?  Somehow over the course of the evening he had started seeing her as something more.  Something that never could be.  He knew he’d run into her during his weekend home, but he’d half expected the little girl in pigtails—not the woman who looked so delightfully soft nestled into the car beside him.  Not a woman he wanted to kiss and fuck and tease with pleasure all night long.

He shook his head, trying to get a grip.  After adjusting the mirrors, he backed out of the parking space and turned on the radio, trying to drown out the muddled thoughts swirling in his head.  Thank God Brent was flying in tomorrow.  He’d go out with him and Evan for a drink or five.  Watch Brent flirt with all the women and remind himself why starting anything up with Brianna would be pointless.  A night out with his buddies was all he needed to get his damn head on straight.  To remember his work.  His mission.  His duty as a SEAL.

Matthew muttered a curse under his breath as Brianna drifted off to sleep in the passenger seat.

He hadn’t even been back in Pensacola one full day, and suddenly everything he’d been missing in his life was right here beside him.  Trouble was, he couldn’t have any of it.

Brianna yawned as she stood in line at the coffee shop down by the beach the following morning.  The aroma of roasted beans filled the air, the Saturday morning crowd trickled in, and she wished it was a weekend in her former life—when she’d have the day off and not be getting ready to serve drinks all afternoon and evening.  She moved forward in line, her hair tickling her bare shoulder as her loose sweatshirt slipped to the side.  Her mom had laughed earlier, telling her she looked like she’d stepped out of the eighties, Brianna remembered with a smirk.  It was early on a weekend morning though—a loose sweatshirt and cropped yoga pants were par for the course.

Ordering a cappuccino and croissant, she stepped aside to wait for her coffee after she paid.  It was amazing how after one unforgettable evening out with Matthew she could already be back to reality—running her weekend errands, getting ready for another God-awful shift at the bar.  Memories of dancing with Matthew filled her mind, of his broad body moving in front of her.  Of the way it had felt when he’d pulled her close.  What had that been about anyway?  Friends didn’t slow-dance together—especially not when one of them was holding the other so tightly, it was almost as if he never wanted to let her go.  She’d blame the alcohol, but Matthew had only had a beer at that point.

She’d actually fallen asleep on the short drive home, and when Matthew had gently rustled her awake, she could’ve sworn he’d called her sweetheart.  Which really was crazy, because friends absolutely didn’t call one another that.  She’d had a few drinks, yes, but not enough to imagine the words coming from his mouth.  Not enough to ignore the shift in the way he’d acted around her.  Even after they’d pulled into her driveway, he’d walked her to the front door like they were on a date or something.  The old Matthew never would’ve done something like that.  They’d each wave goodbye and go their separate ways.  This had almost felt like it meant something.

Not that it did.  Or could.

After her cappuccino was ready, she wandered out to the boardwalk to eat her breakfast and watch the waves crash on the shore.  She’d always found it peaceful down by the water—uplifting even.  One day she’d dreamed of a fancy marketing career in a high-rise down by the ocean.  She’d kill for a corner office with a view, although at the moment, just about any damn job in her field would be nice.  She’d told her parents that she’d be out apartment hunting later this afternoon, but how many weekends of her doing that would they believe?  Apartments weren’t that hard to find.  Night shifts at the bar were almost better because then at least she could claim she was out with friends or stuck at the office.

She took a sip of her drink, the warm, foamy confection seeping down her throat.  A boat sailed by in the distance, and she felt a strange longing for that sort of freedom again—to pick up one weekend morning and do whatever she wanted.  To spend the day however she chose.  To have the money to actually afford such a luxury.  As it was now, she was barely scraping by.  And that was one thought she definitely did
not
want to linger on.  Her old life had been comfortable.  Cushy, even.  She’d worked hard, but now something simple like grabbing gourmet coffee for breakfast felt like a splurge.

She sighed, watching some seagulls race over the water.

A shadow fell over her, looming large across the boardwalk, and she glanced back in surprise. The tall, hulking figure behind her caused her heart to race, but not in fear.  Her breath caught, and she immediately felt her insides go molten.

Matthew’s dark aviators hid his eyes, but his wide grin spread across his face.  Well hell.  Now she wished she’d dressed a little nicer for her morning coffee run.  His dark hair still looked damp from the shower, and he’d shaved, showing off his strong jaw and chiseled features.  Brianna took in his loose athletic shorts, running shoes, and zip-up sweatshirt.  He looked like he was either ready for a morning of errands like her or ready for a run.  Since he was only in town for the weekend, it was probably the latter.

“Care for some company?” he asked, holding up his own cup of coffee.

“Sure, sit down,” she said, hastily sliding over to make room for him.  She felt oddly uneasy seeing him so early in the morning, when she was still half asleep.  She was planning to mull over her future over coffee and a croissant, not be tempted by the irresistible man she’d known for a lifetime.

Matthew’s body folded onto the bench beside her, and she caught a whiff of his aftershave.  It was clean, slightly musky, and oh-too-delicious for her to be sitting this close to him.  She needed her guard up so she could act like everything was fine.  That he was the same as always—just the boy next door.

“Looks like we had the same idea,” Matthew said, taking a sip of his drink.  “Coffee, the beach, Saturday morning.”

“Yeah, this is by far my favorite thing to do on a weekend morning.  Almost makes getting out of bed worth it.”

“Almost?” Matthew laughed.

“I wasn’t planning on such a late night.”

“I had fun,” Matthew said huskily.  She turned to face him but couldn’t see his eyes beyond the dark glasses.  How she’d kill to know what he was thinking.

A beat passed with neither of them saying a word.  Finally, Matthew cleared his throat.

“I needed to fuel up with some caffeine before my run.  I figured I’d grab some coffee, enjoy the view for a little while, and then get in a workout.  I’ve got to pick up my buddy from base later on.”

“How many guys are flying in?”

“Just Brent.  Patrick—our SEAL team leader—was hoping to come down, but his son is sick, so he’s not going to make it.”

“Wow.  I can’t imagine doing what you guys do and having kids.”

“Me either,” Matthew said wryly.

Brianna took a sip of her cappuccino, trying not to stare at his muscular legs.  Damn.  Was any part of this man not perfection?

“How far do you usually run?” she finally asked.

“Ten miles on the weekend.  Why, care to join me?”

“No way,” Brianna said with a laugh.  “I’m more of a gym girl anyway.  I’m just grabbing breakfast before running some errands, then I have to get to work—uh, working on finding an apartment I mean.”

Matthew nodded.  “I’d tell you to look for a ground level unit, to make it easier for Beckett to visit, but they’re not safe for a single woman.”

“Oh, right,” Brianna said in surprise.  Geez.  When she did ever move out, she’d have to take that into consideration.  Her brother wouldn’t be able to jog up a few flights of stairs to see her.  Not now, and probably not ever.

“So I assume you’ll have to get a building with an elevator then.  Those are more expensive, but I’m sure it’s not an issue with a great job like yours.”

“Right,” she agreed, watching an elderly couple stroll by holding hands.  An odd sort of regret filled her chest, and she realized she felt guilty for lying to Matthew.  He’d probably flip out if he knew she was serving drinks in a skimpy outfit night after night.  She sure the hell knew her own brother had—and she’d convinced him that she’d left that job.  It would be harder going along with the charade once he was home, living in the same house as her.  But it wouldn’t be for much longer, she reasoned.  She’d find a great job soon enough and put her degree back to good use.

Matthew slipped his aviators atop his head and looked over at her.  “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be bossy,” he said with an easy grin.

“You?  Never,” she chastised.

“Guilty as charged I suppose.  I just feel protective toward you.  I mean, uh, you’re Beckett’s little sister and all.”

Her smile faltered.

“Not that you’re a kid anymore,” he hastily continued.  “I mean you’re a grown woman.  Uh….” He cleared his throat.

Brianna patted his thigh, feeling the corded muscle beneath his shorts.  Holy hell.  She quickly removed her hand.  “Don’t worry about it.  I should get going anyway.”  She stood, Matthew quickly rising beside her.  He towered above her, and she had to look up to meet his gaze.

“Bri, I didn’t mean it like that.  And I had fun last night, but—”

“I get it.  I’ll see you later,” she said, turning away as she felt the pinpricks of tears in the corners of her eyes.  Matthew hesitated, seeming unsure what to do, but he didn’t follow as she walked away.  It was for the best.  Last night had been surreal—dancing with Matthew, letting him hold her in his arms.  Rehashing the details of their relationship—one in which they were strictly friends and nothing more—wouldn’t make her feel any better.  Matthew had his own life back in Virginia.  One which she had absolutely no place in.

***

Brianna changed into her cocktail waitress dress back at the bar later that afternoon, ready for her long Saturday shift.  She shoved her casual clothing into her locker and adjusted the zipper on her dress, fussing with the revealing outfit.  The black satin and lace frock dipped lower than she liked, showing off her cleavage to its fullest advantage, and the frilly skirt barely covered her bottom.  Once she stepped into her heels, she’d be strutting around with her tits and ass waving around for all the customers to admire.  Just the way management liked it.  She blew out a sigh.  Thank God she’d convinced her parents she’d be out apartment hunting all afternoon.  If they knew she’d been laid off and was serving drinks while scantily clad in what looked more like lingerie than an actual uniform, they’d flip out.

She had a full eight-hour shift today, but the evening crowd always tipped the best.  Hopefully in another month or so, she’d have nailed a new marketing position so that she could dust her hands of this waitressing business.  She’d sent out ten resumes last week to potential leads but hadn’t heard back yet from a single one.  At least she was able to make her student loan and car payments with her current soul-sucking job.  MBAs didn’t exactly come cheap.

“Frank is managing tonight,” Ella said as she slammed her locker shut next to Brianna.  Her long, dark hair hung loose down her back, and without any makeup on, Ella looked even younger than usual in a tank top and leggings.  Her willowy frame leaned against the wall as she sighed.

“Great,” Brianna muttered.  Ten years her senior, Frank had asked her out.  Twice.  The way his beady eyes slid over her body creeped her out, and she made sure she was never alone with him.  Once after an all-hands meeting he’d invited her back into his office, but she’d made her excuses and fled.  She shuddered to think of what he really wanted.  He’d somehow managed to cage her in at the bar one night when she was getting drinks, and she’d nearly dropped the entire tray when she’d felt his hot breath on her neck. 
Creep.

“How’d the paper go?” Brianna asked as she touched up her lipstick.  She fluffed her hair in the mirror, and the blonde waves she’d curled earlier framed her face.  Her size D cups looked closer to DDs with the way the dress pushed up her breasts.  God.  She wasn’t normally one to flaunt her assets, but she had to admit that the dress made her look good.  Too bad it was more appropriate as something worn in the bedroom, in front of a lover, not in a roomful of males who had been drinking.

“Finished.  Stayed up until 3:00 a.m., but it’s done.”

“When’s it due?” Brianna asked in surprise.

“Monday morning.  But I’m working a double shift tomorrow, and I needed it finished.”

“Have you looked into scholarships or anything?” Brianna asked.  Ella was working way too hard to put herself through school, she thought.  She was going to burn the candle at both ends at this rate—working all weekend, taking extra classes each semester.  At least once Brianna found another marketing job—hopefully sooner rather than later—she could move on with her life.  Ella might be stuck working here for years while she finished her degree.  It paid better than many other hourly jobs, but she knew Ella hated it as much as she did.

“Not yet.  Maybe this summer I’ll check them out again when I have some extra time.”

“What about a job on campus?”

“The pay sucks there,” Ella said, slipping on her identical dress.  “This job is crap, but it pays my tuition.”

Brianna blew out a sigh.  Yeah, it paid tuition and student loans, but there was only so much she could take.

They finished getting ready and walked out into the hallway to start their shifts, almost bumping right into their manager.  Frank’s eyes slid down Brianna’s body, lingering appreciatively on Brianna’s chest, and she fought the urge to slap him in the face.  That was a sure way to get herself fired.  But then again, wasn’t it some form of sexual harassment to have her boss leer at her that way?

He smelled of stale cigarette smoke and booze, his normally crisp khakis and button-down shirt looking rumpled.  Even though smoking wasn’t allowed in the club, the back patio had plenty of tables for customers.  Although Frank had been known to sneak out for a few minutes for a cigarette break from time to time, the scent of alcohol coming off of him was unusual.  Not to mention unsettling.  He looked like he wanted to say something to Brianna, but his gaze slid briefly over to Ella, and he simply nodded at both women before brushing past them on the way into his office.

“That was awkward,” Ella muttered.

“No kidding,” Brianna agreed, walking out into the already crowded bar.  “He creeps me out.”

“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” Ella proclaimed.