The Secret City (18 page)

“It hasn’t sunk in. Besides, Corwin will blame me if he sees Jack around you. He’ll be angry enough to shoot me
and
Jack.”

“Then I’ll jump in front of Jack so he won’t get shot.”

“You’ve been watching too much TV.”

What have I got myself into with all these children?

Am I trying to save Youpas by getting him up to the Secret City? What will I do with him up there? Besides, he’ll go back to being wild. But he’s still wild even down here, haircut, nice clothes, and all.

Off we go again. Maybe.

C
ORWIN HAS EIGHTY ACRES ON THIS SIDE OF TOWN
. Emily wants us to take a back way, a dirt road that winds around the edges of his property. I want to stay on the main road even though we’ll pass nearer to Corwin’s house. I don’t want to circle round and round, maybe add an extra hour. I want to get away from town as fast as possible. But what’s the hurry? What does it matter? I give up. I hardly know what I’m doing or why.

I stroke Toots. I’ve just loaded her up with most of our stuff, but she nuzzles into my chest anyway. We’re already friends. At least there’s one dependable creature here. I hope I can keep her safe.

“All right, all right, we’ll go your way, but who’s to say Corwin won’t be out there riding his fences?”

We turn away from the main road and start along the little dirt one that circles Corwin’s fields. Maybe just as well, less traffic and fewer people to notice the crazies heading up into the cold. Better on Toots’ feet, too, though as soon as we pass the summer people’s houses the road will turn to dirt, anyway.

I turn around to see how my troop is coming along and I see there’s someone coming down the main road with the loose stride of a mountaineer, big pack as high as his head. He’s dressed in a jumpsuit. All sorts of things are hanging on his belt. His legs look funny. Or there’s something odd about the pants. He’s fallen, the knees of his pants are torn, also his elbows. Around his neck there’s a green scarf so frayed I can see strands of yarn hanging from it even from here. I’ve seen that scarf before. I’ve joked about it. But Mollish is dead. Whoever has that scarf has got to have slid down all that scree to her body and taken it right from her neck.

But it’s a woman. Hair as short as a man’s. She’s turning. She’s starting to run towards us.

Even as I’m thinking: Who? I’m thinking: But I don’t recognize her, and then I think:
Yes
! And I run.

She comes straight to me, hugs me, crying. Big breaths—panting as if she can’t breath. I…. I’m all she wanted. All she wants. But I’m crying, too.

We hold each other. I kiss her … at last kiss, really kiss, a long, long kiss, and she kisses me back. It’s as if we want to engulf each other with our kisses. Hold each other prisoner forever with our kisses and our hug. Then I kiss her tears. She isn’t going to let go of me. We fall on our knees, still holding each other.

I’ve never had a woman in my arms before. Never. Not to hold close and kiss. I’ve been a loner for so long. Never even hoped. After all, I’m a bum. Allush is holding on to me as if I’m her hope, her savior. I will be. All else falls away. It’s settled. No need to talk about it. No need to ask.
The
question. She looks up at me—the face of my own people… a finer version of my own. In my arms … warm … warm cheeks….

I forget all about Youpas.

Then I hear Emily shout, “He’s loose.”

I see him trotting away, already a couple of hundred yards down the road towards Corwin’s house.

I don’t care. Again, and even more so, I want to be done with all this and all these people. I want to give Allush the skirt I stole for her and I want for us to go off alone together. I don’t want to stop kissing her—holding her.

Except I have to care.

“Jack, did you?”

I hope he didn’t.

“OK.”

For once he says it only once

Allush won’t let go, but I tear myself from her arms and take off after Youpas.

I’m wondering if Corwin has his pistol handy. I wonder, is Jack on Youpas’ side now for the sake of our people? Will he try to convince Allush to join them? But surely Allush didn’t recognize Youpas. I wouldn’t have myself if I hadn’t been there for the transformation. I wouldn’t have recognized Allush if I hadn’t seen it happen with Youpas. But, yes, I would. I knew. My body knew. I could feel that it was her.

ALLUSH

W
E HUG AND KISS AS IF WE’D ALREADY BEEN LOVERS
and couldn’t wait to make love again. Our first kisses were so hard and insistent. So grasping. Both of us. He holds me too tight, I can hardly breathe. But I can’t breathe right now anyway.

Then he’s pushing me away.

“Lorpas!”

“I have to. Wait for me.”

“No!”

I throw down my pack and start after him. But the man, one of my own kind, grabs my arm and tells me, in our home language to slow down. He tries to hold me back but I keep going. He says Youpas is saving our people. That somebody knows about us and so does this girl beside us.

Youpas? Was that Youpas? Off to no good no doubt or Lorpas wouldn’t have run after him.

I speak in our home language, too. “I don’t believe anybody but Lorpas, and I know Youpas only too well. Nothing he does is reasonable.”

Is this the one called Narlpas or the one called Bolopas that I’m supposed to be looking for? Or is it another one entirely?

He won’t let go. I pull him along, trying to go faster. “Anything Youpas is going to do can’t be good.”

“Youpas is saving our world.”

“I’ll bet.”

I say that in the native’s language. I don’t know if he understands English or not.

I finally twist away and really run. Their donkey lopes along beside me. I hear the man say, “I’ll bet? I’ll bet? I’ll bet?” as he chases after us.

LORPAS

Y
OUPAS RUNS STRAIGHT INTO
C
ORWIN’S HOUSE
—runs right in and runs right out again, crosses to the barn…. All this before I can catch up to him.

I’m close behind now. I go in the barn but Youpas runs out the far side before I can grab him.

And there’s Corwin, just beyond, all by himself. He’s doing Emily’s job, bottle feeding the two motherless calves at the same time, a bottle in each hand.

Youpas stops. He’s just standing. Looking. He has no weapon that I know of. Thank goodness I never bought him a hunting knife. But I’ve forgotten all about….

Corwin freezes. For a moment even the calves freeze. I leap. I tackle Youpas. We’re both on the ground, but he turns around fast and then I’m in his line of sight. Now I know the discomfort and fear of being helpless on the other end of the freeze. No wonder he was furious at me. But he can’t let me go. He has to keep his stare or lose me. And now Corwin and the calves are free. I can see everything that’s going on and yet I can’t move or turn my eyes away. But nor can Youpas.

Not such a great talent when there are other people out of the line of sight.

I see Corwin out of the corner of my eyes drop one bottle and hit Youpas with the other. He has to hit several times before Youpas falls back and lets me go.

Those bottles for calves are a lot bigger than for babies but they’re only plastic so Youpas isn’t that hurt, but he’s confused and freezing has worn him out—as it has me on the other end of it. I sit on him, careful to keep looking away.

Corwin says, “I thought you’d left,” and I say, “I tried to but he … Hugh took over. “

“He sure got cleaned up. If this really is the same man.”

“The same.”

But here’s Allush. She squats down beside us, stares at Youpas. I suppose trying to see, is it really him, slacks, good sweater, fancy shoes…. And Youpas looks up at her, says, “Good God, who is it? Is it really?” while she says, more or less the same things. Then she says, “You look great,” and Youpas looks away, as if ashamed. I feel him go limp.

Here come the others, including Toots. Corwin is staring at his daughter. Here she is, not in school, all dressed for traveling, and with Jack again. In fact as they came out from the backdoor of the barn, they were holding hands. As soon as Emily sees her father she lets go. Now he’s really angry. And he’s more worried about her than Youpas.

We’re all hunkering down in the soft earth that’s mostly mashed-up horseshit, but nobody seems to notice or care.

Corwin says, “I’m sending you down to Aunt May’s.”

“Daddy!”

“I quit. It’s too hard—trying to bring up a teenage girl. You’re outta here.”

“Oh, Daddy!”

Nobody is paying any attention to Youpas. I’m not either. We’re right at the back of the barn. There’s a pitchfork leaning against the wall. Youpas pushes me off and that’s what he grabs.

Now, all of us at the same time, are
really
frozen and with as much discomfort as if held by the freeze. In fact it seems a lot scarier and more dangerous than the freeze ever was. Nobody dares move.

Youpas has his back against the side of the barn. He looks back and forth at all of us, but he’s clearly more wary of me than of any of the others.

I’m the one, haven’t kept my promise to Corwin. I have to act before somebody gets hurt.

Then Youpas looks right at me as if he knows I’ll be the one to act first. He says, “You’re dead already.”

Even as I leap, I know he’s probably right.

ALLUSH

I
’M RIGHT BEHIND
L
ORPAS
. I
LEAP
. I
YELL
. A
ND
those other men, the one of their kind and the one of my kind are right beside me. Surely Youpas can’t get all of us at the same time.

Lorpas is down.

I’m thinking, but! But it can’t be. I just found him. Is he dead already?

The pitchfork is stuck in Lorpas and Youpas can’t get it out in order to hit at the rest of us.

That other man, the one of my own kind, knocks him down, and away from the pitchfork. Youpas looks winded and scared. We were all banging on him long after he was down, but mostly getting in each other’s way. I’d like him gone. I’d like to get out one of those homers right now and send him back to his family of important people. I’m thinking, go and be important and don’t come back.

I don’t want to stop beating on him but I do. He’s not even defending himself anymore. I’m sitting in the dried up horseshit practically on top of him. I don’t care if he lives or dies. I turn around and kneel beside Lorpas.

It’s a three pronged fork. Two prongs seem stuck, just below the collarbones on each side, and the third is stuck in his shoulder. There’s not much blood. I don’t know if he’s unconscious or dead or maybe dying. I don’t dare touch him. Everyone looks like they don’t know what to do. None of us dare pull it out.

Suddenly he takes a big breath and then cries out in pain, though he’s still unconscious. I cry out in pain, too.

That native man tells the girl to call a doctor, and fast. She stares at him but doesn’t move. “Go! Go!” he says, and she finally comes to and does.

Then that man says, “I don’t know. I should …” and then “Should I?” then, “Should I cut the handle off? But that might hurt him worse.”

Lorpas is breathing big painful breaths and crying out at each one but he still seems to be unconscious.