The Secret Life of Miss Anna Marsh (2 page)

Lady Marsh frowned. “I don't understand why Lady Phoebe had to pick the most eligible gentleman available this Season. Really, Anna, I think you could have done something more to interest him.”

Anna valiantly forbore sighing. Lord Marcus Finley, Phoebe's intended, had been the topic of conversation since early September. “Mama, I've told you. He formed an attachment for Phoebe years ago,” Anna said. “The only reason he danced with me, that one time, was to aid her. I never had a chance, and I would have looked ridiculous trying to set my cap at him.”

“Please do not use that vulgar term,” her mother replied. “There
is
Rutherford, my love. He is very eligible, and his mother told me that since he didn't do a good job attaching Lady Phoebe . . .”

“Mama,”
Anna interrupted. “Phoebe had no interest in Rutherford. They are friends. That is all.”

“As I was saying, my dear, Lord Rutherford is free and in need of a wife. I am sure, if you would only make yourself
agreeable
to him, he'd be happy to make you an offer.”

Anna resisted the urge to cast her eyes upward. She missed the intimacy she'd had with her mother before Harry's death. Everything was so different now. Anna certainly wasn't going to tell her mother Sebastian had proposed. Trying to turn the conversation away from marriage, Anna said. “Mama, why do you call him Lord Rutherford, when you've known him all his life?”

“That is what we do, my dear. You would be well advised to remember he is no longer a schoolboy, but rather a very eligible gentleman.”

“Yes, Mama,” Anna replied meekly, and rose. “I must check on Lizzy. She has a lot to pack and not much time. I shall see you at dinner.”

“Oh, my dear, I forgot to tell you. I am dining with Lady Worthington. I do not plan to make a late evening of it, but if you have retired by the time I come home, I shall see you in the morning before you leave.”

“Please give Lady Worthington my best wishes and enjoy yourself.” Anna kissed her mother's cheek and left the room.

Anna walked to the library. If she was to spend the better part of two days in a coach, she'd need books. After searching the shelves, she selected a novel she hadn't seen before. She looked more closely at the cover, opened it, and tilted her head. The pages were full of pictures of naked couples doing the most shocking things
and
directions as to how to do them. She shut the book, then opened it up again, fascinated by the pictures.

Oh my, Mama certainly didn't buy this book!
It must have been Harry's. Anna put it back on the shelf. Tears filled her eyes. She wished Harry were here. He'd know how to help her. Even though he was ten years older than she, they had always been close. She remembered him holding her when she was very young. He had always been the first one to arrive when she woke terrified at night.

Even when she was five and he was fifteen, although he didn't really want her following him and Sebastian around, Harry had never tried to stop her. When he'd left, Harry had made her responsible for the smugglers he'd led. Granted he had thought it would only be for a few months, but he'd taught her well. Anna had held the group together for almost three years without mishap, and she would continue to lead them.

She wondered briefly how Sebastian would take that part of her life. The secret part. Only Lizzy, her brother, Kev, and Harry's old groom, Humphrey, knew Anna's identity and that she was female. Her position in the smuggling gang was one of the many reasons Sebastian must be in love with her before she could agree to marry him. He'd have to accept her as she was now.

Anna remained in the library curled up in a chair. When she was ten years old, she had decided to marry Sebastian. That he was twenty hadn't bothered her a bit. That he might wed someone else had never entered her mind. Even now, marriage to someone else wasn't a consideration. She'd marry him or no one. Unfortunately, no one was now a real possibility. Anna stared into the fire trying to envision her future without him and got absolutely nowhere. He was such an integral part of her past.

A footman came in, closed the drapes against the late afternoon gloom, and lit the wall sconces and candelabras.

“Please ask Cook if dinner can be served earlier.”

“Yes, miss.”

He came back a few minutes later, to assure her Cook would be happy to bring dinner forward.

Once the footman left, she got up and went back to the bookshelf. Anna found a couple of novels before leaving the room and, after some hesitation, took Harry's book as well. If nothing else, it would make her feel closer to him.

Rutherford decided not to tell either Anna or Lady Marsh he would accompany Anna to Marsh Hill. She'd accepted his escort, albeit unwillingly, to Charteries, Marcus's family's estate. Rutherford had no desire to push his luck any further until he had to. Miss Marsh would discover he intended to escort her to Kent when he did not turn off the post road to London, and by then it would be too late for her to object.

Arriving the next morning shortly after eight o'clock, he discovered that early was a relative term. Anna was ready at eight o'clock. Lady Marsh had not yet come down.

He paced the entry hall and checked his pocket watch, again, before addressing Anna. “Do you think she'll be much longer?”

“I'll send someone to fetch her. It's not good to keep the horses waiting like this.” Anna hailed a maid and gave her instructions.

Thirty minutes later, Lady Marsh appeared on the stairs. “Good morning, Lord Rutherford. I do hope I have not kept you waiting.”

He took the offered hand and bowed. “No, my lady. Not at all.”

Anna glanced up at the ceiling. “Mama, we must depart if we are to reach Charteries by noon.”

Lady Marsh fluttered over Anna like a hen over a chick. “Do you have everything you need?”

“Yes, Mama.”

Anna turned to go out the front door, and her mother embraced her. “My dear, child. How I will miss you.”

Anna returned the hug. “I will miss you as well. We must leave.”

Tears sprang into Lady Marsh's eyes. “Yes, of course. How silly of me.”

She stood in the door weeping and mopping her eyes with a lace-trimmed handkerchief as Rutherford helped Anna into the coach. You'd have thought Anna was going to Russia and Lady Marsh would never see her daughter again. “I don't remember your mother being like this.”

Anna frowned slightly. “Ever since Harry died she has been.”

“Lady Marsh has never recovered?”

“No. Not really,” Anna said sadly.

Rutherford couldn't imagine how painful losing a child would be. The death of his friend had been hard enough to bear. Rutherford closed the door and gave the coachman the signal to start. He mounted his horse, waiting until the outriders Lady Marsh had hired flanked the carriage, before following after them. They made their way through London's morning traffic, then on to the post road without incident.

The trip would take approximately three hours. They stopped midway to refresh themselves. It would be a good time to start getting back into Anna's good graces.

He handed her down from the coach. “I've reserved a private parlor, if you'd like it?”

She glanced around. “Thank you, but I think I'd prefer to stand for a while.”

“Very understandable. Would you like hot cider?”

“Yes, please.”

He found a servant to bring their drinks. “Anna, it's occurred to me that I could have been of more help since Harry died. I'm sorry I was not.”

She glanced suddenly at him, her brows drawn together. “It wasn't your fault you kept being called away to your other estates.”

“I might have left it in my steward's hands.” He should have quit going on missions and paid more attention to Anna.

“That is never the answer. You owe a duty to your dependents.”

This conversation was not going at all how he wanted it to. While he was trying to think of what else to say, the coachman came up.

“Miss, it's time we were going again.”

Anna put her cup down on a bench. “I'll be right there.”

When Rutherford and Anna arrived at Charteries, Lord Marcus Finley, second son of the Marquis of Dunwood, met them. Rutherford had known Marcus since Eton and could think of no one better to confide in regarding his problems with Miss Marsh, particularly since Marcus had managed to bring Lady Phoebe up to scratch after her six years on the Marriage Mart.

“Welcome to Charteries.” Marcus handed Anna down from the coach. “Phoebe will be with you directly. I've sent a message to her.”

Anna smiled. “Thank you, my lord. If you'll have someone show me to my chamber, I'll be ready for her.”

Marcus addressed his butler. “Wilson, please have Miss Marsh and her maid escorted to her room.”

Rutherford dismounted and greeted his friend. “I'd like to have a word with you if I could.”

Marcus raised a brow. “Yes, of course. Wash your dirt off, and meet me in the morning room.”

Rutherford shook his hand. “Thank you.”

A half an hour later, Marcus handed Rutherford a glass of wine. “Please have a seat. What do you wish to discuss?”

Rutherford heaved a sigh. “Finley, you're getting leg shackled. Can you tell me how to do it?”

Marcus laughed.

Rutherford grinned ruefully. “Yes, I know. That
I,
of all people, should be asking that question, but Finley, I am quite serious.”

Marcus struggled to regain his countenance. “What in God's name has brought this about? I thought you were sure of Miss Marsh?”

“I thought so as well,” Rutherford said, chagrined. “However, it turns out she is not coming round as I'd hoped. Sometimes it seems as if she's avoiding me.”

Marcus dropped into a chair. “I suppose you'd better tell me about it.”

“I thought she would just accept me,” Rutherford said.

“Are you telling me”—Marcus leaned forward, with an incredulous look on his face—“you expected her to accept you, when you'd been dancing attendance on Phoebe for years and then gave Miss Marsh no reason why she should marry you?”

Rutherford wouldn't have put it quite like that. “Well, you see . . .” He paused, trying to find the words. “I've known her all her life. I thought she was already in a fair way to being in love with me, or at least liking me a good deal. It never occurred to me . . .”

“Never occurred to you,” Marcus retorted, “she might not appreciate being treated as a sure thing?”

Rutherford heaved a sigh. “I suppose I didn't think of it in those terms.”

Marcus shook his head. “What a sapskull. I don't know Miss Marsh that intimately, but I know her well enough to expect she'd bridle at that sort of arrogant behavior.”

Perhaps Marcus had a point. “I thought I'd leave well enough alone until I needed to marry, or until I thought she might be forming an attachment for someone else.” Something seemed to lodge in his throat, and he coughed. “She was very young, and as long as her heart wasn't otherwise engaged . . .”

“Rutherford,” Marcus said. “You've rushed your fences and taken a fall. It appears to me you need to start over. You, my friend, will have to undergo the humiliating experience of courting the woman you could probably have had without effort three or more years ago, when she was not so knowledgeable.”

Rutherford remembered Anna smiling at him and then accepting another gentleman's offer to dance, or to escort her to supper. He couldn't believe he'd been so blind. “Now that you've said it, it all makes sense.” He groaned. “The way she's hung back from me and kept me at arm's length. She plans to go home to Kent when she leaves here. I shall accompany her, but I don't intend to tell her.”

Marcus asked. “Are you sure she is the one for you?”

“Of course she is. Despite her recent behavior, I've known her all her life. Marriage with her would be comfortable. There'd be no surprises.” Rutherford picked up his glass and twirled the wine before taking a sip. “She's poised and fits well into Polite Society. I've heard that since her brother's death, she's assumed all the household responsibilities at her home. I'm sure we'll have our little disagreements from time to time, but she is used to taking her lead from me.” Rutherford nodded his head. “Yes, I believe she is now ready to take her position as Lady Rutherford.”

In fact, he couldn't imagine his life without her. For years he'd resisted the lures thrown out by other ladies as he waited for Anna to mature. Then lately, there were the less chaste desires he'd been having about her as well. He wanted to spear his fingers through her dark chestnut curls and run his tongue down her supple neck. Somehow he had to convince her to marry him.

Marcus regarded him dubiously. “I wish you luck.”

Rutherford stopped himself from running his finger under his neck cloth. “It may take a little time, but I'm sure she'll come around.”

The next morning Anna wished Phoebe happy, before taking a seat in the small chapel and watching Phoebe marry. Phoebe's joy and her love for Marcus radiated from her. He had eyes for no one but her, and when they said their vows, it was as if they were in their own private world.

Despite what Anna had heard Sebastian say, her childhood dreams were not going away as she wished they would. She wanted the same happiness. She still wanted Sebastian to gaze at her like Marcus looked at Phoebe. Anna's throat tightened. Perhaps she could have a love like that with Sebastian, but only if he could accept her and her secret. Who was she kidding? He wanted a safe, comfortable wife. One he could order around. Even without her duties to the smugglers, she'd never be that. She smiled through her tears as Marcus kissed Phoebe. A small part of Anna thought there might be hope after all, but her head told her it was a dream.

A few hours after the ceremony while the festivities were still continuing, she and Sebastian were talking with Phoebe and Marcus when they learned Marcus's gravely ill brother had finally passed away. Anna watched as Phoebe drew her new nieces to her, and Anna and Sebastian left them to grieve with their family. Now Anna was more than glad she'd already made arrangements to leave.

They were making their way down a corridor when she turned to him. “Did you know Evesham?”

“Not well. I know he and Marcus were very close.” Sebastian put his hand on her shoulder. “Evesham has been ill for a long time.”

“I know.” Tears stung her eyes. “But that knowledge doesn't make it any easier when it happens.”

“You're right, of course,” he said solemnly.

Anna glanced at him. “I should go.”

“What are your plans this evening?” he asked.

“I will not be here. I'm leaving for Kent.”

“Are you?” He opened his eyes in shock. “I thought you weren't departing until tomorrow.”

“No. I'd already made the arrangements. If I remained, I'd feel as if I were intruding.”

“You know you aren't. Though, I agree, leaving soon might be a good idea.”

Why did he have to keep pressing himself on her? “You should stay. I'll do quite well on my own.”

“No, not at all,” Rutherford smiled. “I am happy to escort you.”

She tried and failed to think of a reason he could not accompany her. Why did he have to smile at her like that? If only she could extinguish her feelings for him like one blows out a candle. Especially now, when she wanted so very much to be held and comforted. “Be ready in half an hour.”

He bowed. “I'll be waiting.”

Anna swept up the stairs to her room. At least he was going on to London, and she wouldn't have to see him until Christmas, if at all. She opened the door. “Lizzy, are you ready?”

“One satchel left, miss. The trunks are in the coach. Turn around and let me unlace you.”

“Lord Rutherford has decided to escort us.”

“Is there a reason we don't like his lordship anymore?” Lizzy asked.

“He is a very nice man,” Anna said, holding back her tears. “But he would not make a good husband for me. Unfortunately, he doesn't realize it.”

“Ah, I see.” Her maid fell quiet.

“What is it?” Anna asked.

“Well, I did have some hopes for Mr. Robertson, his lordship's valet,” Lizzy said prosaically. “But if you're not going to marry his lordship, I'll have to give them up.”

Anna didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She stepped out of one gown and into the one she'd travel in. “I'm sorry to have spoiled your hopes.”

Her maid shrugged. “Likely I'm not highborn enough for him anyway. He speaks much better than me.”

“Lizzy, you'd make anyone a good wife. For all you know he might have learned how to talk like that.”

“Doesn't matter any way. There you go. All laced up. I'll just get the bag, and we're ready to go.”

Part of Anna wanted to try to sneak out before Sebastian arrived. It was not to be. He stood waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

Taking her hand, he bowed over it. “I shall add punctuality to your list of accomplishments.”

Three years ago, her heart would have fluttered if he'd said that to her. Now, it contracted painfully. “Let's be off. I want to get as far as possible today.”

After handing her into the coach, Sebastian mounted and ordered the coachman to spring the team. They made good time on the post road back toward London. When they reached Crawley, Anna leaned out of the window to say good-bye to Sebastian. Now that she knew marriage was out of the question, she couldn't stand his being so close. It abraded her already aggravated nerves. She forced herself to smile. “I bid you a good journey to Town.”

“I'm not leaving. I'm going home as well.”

If Anna's jaw hadn't been clenched, it would have dropped open. This was the worst possible news. He'd always run tame at Marsh Hill, and she'd have to try to avoid him. “How lovely. Do you intend to remain long?”

He stared at her for a few moments, and she fought not to fidget.

“That depends on how my plans prosper.”

He meant her. This just got worse and worse. “I plan to remain overnight in Seven Oakes.”

He smiled. “Perfect. I'll see you there.”

After he left, Anna slumped back against the squabs as they drove east out of town. “I have got to figure out how to stay out of his way.”

Lizzy glanced at Anna. “From what I've seen, he's pretty stubborn.”

She nodded. “Yes. He is. If only he'd realize that we won't suit.”

“Why don't you show him?” Lizzy asked.

“What do you mean?”

She scrunched up her face for a minute. “Well, if you don't think you'll get along, then, if he spends time with you, he's bound to see it after a while.”

Anna frowned. “You mean
spend time
with him so that he doesn't want to marry me?”

“That's it,” her maid said. “Whatever it is that you or he don't like will come out.” Lizzy grinned. “Like five day old fish.”

Anna held her nose and laughed, but Lizzy might have a point. Yet, could she do it? How many times would her heart break before he discovered his mistake, or she fell into his arms and made the worst mistake of her life?”

 

By the time their party reached the Brook Inn in Seven Oakes, Anna had decided she would be completely herself. That should soon send Sebastian running back to London to look for another lady to be his wife. Fortunately, acting the way she normally did would not be difficult. Except recently, when she had been trying to hold him at arm's length, she'd never pretended around Sebastian. He merely hadn't seen her lately anywhere but in Town where she conformed to the role expected of her.

Sebastian helped Anna and Lizzy down from the coach. “I have to say I'm glad for the outriders,” he said. “They make us look respectable.”

“I don't think I've ever been anything but respectable.”

“I can think of several episodes you engaged in.”

“Well, since I've come out I mean. One cannot count my childhood antics.” The smugglers might be a different issue.

He cocked his head at an angle. “True, you always appear perfectly demure in London.”

“Yes, well, ladies don't have much of a choice.”

He stared at her for a few moments, before glancing up. “Have you an objection to my arranging our rooms?”

She wondered what he'd really been about to say. “If you wish to be useful, I shall require one room for myself with a trundle bed for my maid and a private parlor, as well as rooms for the coachman and outriders. While you're doing that, I'll organize the baggage and consult with the landlord's wife about dinner.” She pursed her lips. “You're welcome to dine with me.”

He bowed. “A comradely gesture. Do you intend to keep your maid with you during dinner?”

“Of course,” Anna replied. “You need have no worries over the proprieties.” Or lack of them as the case may be. There was no way she'd be caught in a room alone with him.

They retired shortly after ten o'clock and left early the next morning.

It was late afternoon, almost dark, when they turned into the drive of Marsh Hill. Anna leaned forward to glimpse her family's early Georgian house built of white stone. The manor was designed in a square
U
. A large portico graced the front, and the last rays of sun glinted off the long casement windows of the west wing, her wing. She used to share it with Harry, but now she was alone. Which was a good thing as no one watched her comings and goings.

The coach drew up to the front door. Ledster, her father's butler, greeted her warmly.

“Welcome home, miss. We're happy to have you back.”

Anna grinned. “I'm happy to be home. How are my father and aunt?”

“Everyone here is well.”

“Just as it should be. I've told Lord Rutherford he may dine with us. Will you please tell Cook?”

“Yes, miss, I'll send a message to her. You should change for dinner. The master and your aunt, Lady Tully, are already in the drawing room.”

“Yes, of course. Please take Lord Rutherford to a chamber. He'll want to wash and change as well,” Anna said, as Rutherford walked into the main hall.

He greeted the butler. “How much time do I have until dinner?”

“Not long at all, my lord.”

Anna ascended the main staircase with him. They parted in the hallway. “I'll see you in the drawing room.”

She left as Sebastian bowed. He'd never been so polite to her before when they were in Kent. Was all this courtesy part of his courtship plan?

When she arrived in her room, Lizzy was directing a groom as to where to place Anna's trunk, then rummaged through it and took out an evening gown and shook it.

“Here, this will do,” Lizzy said. “Would you like a bath after dinner?”

“No, I won't have time.” Anna stepped out of her traveling clothes. “I'll leave the drawing room soon as possible after tea is served and change to meet Kev. Send a message to him to meet me in the grove by the cliffs.”

“Yes, miss. I'll do it as soon as you're dressed.”

Twenty minutes later, Anna walked down to the drawing room, the last to arrive.

“Well, my sweet girl,” Sir William Marsh said, giving Anna a kiss. “I'm glad you're home.”

She warmly returned her father's embrace. He was a little taller than medium height with dark hair in which only a bit of silver showed. He smiled down at her, and she could see the blue of her eyes reflected in his. He'd dressed fashionably in knee breeches and a well-fitting black coat, as if he didn't spend most of his time in Kent these days.

“I missed you, Papa. I'm glad to be home.” Anna turned toward her paternal aunt, whom Anna greatly resembled, gowned in rich brown silk trimmed with cream lace, and embraced her. “Aunt Lillian, I'm so glad you're still here. Why can't you ever come before I leave for the Season?”

“Maybe next year,” Lillian said. “I am very happy to see you, my dear. You look lovely. Are you well?”

Anna smiled. “Yes, I am and
so
glad to be home.”

Lillian's brows drew together, questioning.

“Not now, please. I'll tell you all about it later.” Her aunt would want to hear about Anna's mother. “Rutherford, you remember Lady Tully?”

“Yes, of course, my lady.” He bowed. “How have you been?”

“Very well thank you, my lord.”

Ledster announced dinner. Rutherford offered his arm to Anna. “Please allow me.”

She placed her hand on his arm. “Thank you.”

They sat informally at the dinner table with Lillian on one side of Anna's father and Anna on the other. Rutherford took a place next to Anna. She glanced at him, and his well-molded lips curved up. He was so close, heat radiated from him to her.

Until two years ago, when Harry died, her father had represented the area in the House of Commons. Then news of her brother's death had come. After that, Papa was unable to concentrate on anything and gave up his seat. The talk, naturally, turned to the latest legislative session.

“I have to tell you, Rutherford, I'm not at all pleased with the job Mr. Cloverly is doing representing us.”

“I agree about Cloverly,” Anna said. “He's very old-fashioned, and the party needs new ideas.”

Rutherford raised a brow. “Indeed?”

Anna raised one of hers in response. “In this modern age, we need more advanced thinkers.”

Her father chuckled. “Anna would run if she could. Though she'd be likely to represent the Radicals.”

Now was her opportunity to show Rutherford they'd not suit. Anna turned to him. “At least they support school for all children and universal suffrage. If all large landowners established schools and encouraged their dependents to attend, it would make a start to education for all.”

Sebastian's brow furrowed. “Though I support the underling sympathies, I think them unrealistic at the present time. Too many of the peerage are afraid of the same type of uprising as occurred in France.”

“I find that thinking runs counter to good sense. If the French peasants had been provided more opportunities, they might not have rebelled. Though one cannot discount the stupidity of their king.”

Sebastian laughed. “We have nothing to be proud of in this country.”