The Sexorcist (14 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three—The Sexorcist’s Champion

Brittany sat at her desk, staring at the phone.

It was Monday. T-minus five days until the wedding. And she still didn’t have a reception venue.

Rodriguez had left her at Karmic Consultants under strict instructions not to go anywhere without calling him. He was off chasing some demonic energy signature he thought could lead back to Mikos. Brittany still hadn’t been able to say the demon’s name aloud, but since he hadn’t tried to stalk her—that they knew of—she tended to forget there was an actual creepy little man behind all the wedding blunders.

It was still raining buckets outside, as it had been all weekend as she and Rodriguez called and visited every possible reception site she could think of.

Except one.

There was one number she had avoided calling almost as much as she had avoided calling her parents. She was fairly certain she could call the country club her family had belonged to for generations, pull a few strings, and get Lucy a reception site. But it would be far too easy for her parents to un-pull those same strings and undo all of her work if they decided she was only booking wedding receptions as part of her delusions.

She still hadn’t called them.

It had been three days. She’d stayed with Luis, laughed over breakfast with his sisters, driven all over town with him looking for reception sites, and then come home with him each night. It would have been perfect, if not for the fact that she felt worse every time she thought of her parents.

She’d never even spent a night away from home since moving back after her aborted attempt to go away for her master’s. They would be frantic. She knew she was hurting them with every second she delayed, but they had hurt her too.

They would rather think she was insane than that she might be happy and healthy. She couldn’t quite make herself forgive that. Part of her wanted nothing more than to call and apologize, but a much bigger part was angry and hurt because they hadn’t called to apologize to
her
. They had her cell phone number. They paid the darn bill. What were they waiting for?

The desk phone rang, startling her out of the fruitless circle her thoughts had been spinning in for the last three days. She plucked the receiver from the cradle and answered it with a sense of relief.

At least her job still made sense. As much as anything at Karmic Consultants ever made sense.

“Good afternoon, Karmic Consultants. How may I help you?”

“I need to schedule an appointment,” a sultry, female, pack-a-day voice rasped over the line.

“Absolutely,” Brittany chirped, forcing an extra measure of good cheer into her voice to compensate for her current doldrums. “What is the nature of your difficulty?”

“Demonic,” the woman said instantly.

Brittany smiled against the phone, amazed at how straightforward some of the clients were about the paranormal. As if a ghost infestation were as everyday as termites. Then the woman’s next words wiped the smile off her face.

“I want to make sure I get an appointment with the Sexorcist this time. That nerdy professor you sent last time was all wrong.”

“Excuse me?” Ice water ran through Brittany’s veins as she channeled her mother at her absolute coolest and most disapproving.

“The Sexorcist,” the woman enunciated, as if she might have had trouble hearing. “You know, the sexy Hispanic guy with the tattoos.”

“Did Edwin fail to exorcise the demon?”

“Oh, no, he exorcised it, all right,” the woman grumbled. “But that was hardly the point.”

“I’m afraid I don’t see your point.” It was a flat-out lie. She knew exactly what the hussy’s point was and there was no way Brittany was scheduling an appointment for Rodriguez to exorcise
anything
for her.

“Look, sweetie,” the woman said, every syllable patronizing. “Just make the appointment like a good girl, okay? I’ve got a demon. I want the Sexorcist. And the customer is always right.”

“Is the customer always a filthy slut?” Brittany knew she should regret saying that—especially when the customer gasped in shock and shrieked in outrage—but the words had felt so darn good she just couldn’t wish them unsaid.

“How dare you speak to me that way? Put your supervisor on the phone this instant,” the woman demanded.

“Not in this lifetime. If you want to explain to my boss to her face why you are sexually harassing one of her employees, you are welcome to come down here and speak to her yourself. Otherwise, you’re stuck with me, lady.”

“You dare!” she sputtered. “Are you actually saying no to me?”

She had every right to be indignant, but so did Brittany. No one was going to turn her lover into a sex object. Except maybe her, and then, only when he wanted her to.

“Lady, someone should have said no to you a long time ago. You should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t you have any self-respect?”

“I’m coming down there. Just see if I don’t!”

The click of the connection cutting wasn’t as dramatic as she expected it to be. Brittany sat with the receiver still held to her ear as her common sense slowly returned.

Oh, crud.

What had gotten into her? She’d just told off a customer. Had she actually used the words
filthy slut
? Merciful heavens.

She’d just jeopardized her job. If Karma found out she’d mouthed off to a client…

The intercom on her desk buzzed. “Brittany? Would you come in here for a moment?”

Brittany stared at the intercom in horror. Did she know? Already? The other consultants joked about Karma’s all-knowing ways, but Brittany hadn’t thought there was any truth behind the talk. Was she really psychic?

“Brittany?”

She eeped something in the affirmative and rose on wobbly legs.

It was a coincidence. Just random chance that Karma wanted to see her at exactly that moment. She probably wanted to talk about something else.

Like the fact that Brittany was sleeping with Rodriguez in direct violation of the intra-office dating policy. Or the fact that Brittany
still
hadn’t managed to find a replacement reception site for the wedding, which was only days away.

As Brittany crossed Karma’s office to the chairs in front of her desk, she had a sudden empathy for French aristocrats on their way to the guillotine. Though she was undoubtedly more comfortable on the way to her own execution. Those big powdered wigs couldn’t be comfortable. Given the state of hygiene in the eighteenth century, the wigs probably had things living in them. Not to mention the corsets. Ugh.

All Brittany had to deal with was the way the strap on her sandal was pinching her ankle. It sort of put things in perspective.

Karma waved her to a seat. “How are you, Brittany?”

“No bugs living in my hair and I’m not wearing a corset. So, all in all, pretty good. How are you?”

Karma released a short burst of laughter and nodded agreeably. “Much the same.” She then leaned forward with a getting-down-to-business air. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

About the wedding? About Rodriguez? About calling clients dirty sluts?

“For some time now, I have used temp agencies to fill the secretary position here at Karmic Consultants. It seemed best to only require a short-term commitment of those in the position.”

She was being fired. Her term was up. This was it. No more Karmic Consultants. No more Jo and Lucy. Luis would still want her, wouldn’t he? What if even he walked away after she got sacked?

“But I’d like to change that. Would you be interested in keeping the position in the long term?”

Brittany stilled as her thoughts pulled a one-eighty and scrambled to catch up to the conversation.

Karma wanted her to stay at Karmic Consultants. She’d see Jo and Lucy and all the other consultants whenever she wanted. Including Luis.

Her stomach clenched. She would have to keep her relationship with Luis a secret in the long term. What would happen when Karma found out? Would she fire one of them? Both of them? Demand they choose the job or one another?

“I…”

“I’m springing this on you, I know.” Karma held up her hands in a placating way. “Don’t decide now. Take some time. Think it over. You have a lot on your plate with the wedding. This is just something for you to consider. You can let me know your answer next week.”

“Of course. Thank you.” Brittany rose, still feeling shell-shocked, and turned to show herself out. Karma’s voice stopped her at the door.

“Oh, and Brittany? Don’t worry about that phone call. She deserved every word.”

A quick rush of relief was overwhelmed by a secondary wave of panic.

Her boss was omniscient. She would never be able to keep her affair a secret. But how could she choose between the man she was pretty certain she was hopelessly in love with and the job that made her feel valued, where people
believed
?

Chapter Twenty-Four—Knight in Shining Black Leather

Brittany stood in the parking lot, considering the Audi. It didn’t
look
possessed.

Luis still hadn’t gotten back from wherever he’d run off to in his latest attempt to track down Mikos. The workday was over. The parking lot had cleared out. All except Brittany and her Audi and her stupid promise not to go anywhere without him.

Really, how likely was it Mikos would choose this very instant to strike? He hadn’t done anything directly against her in over a week. Not since the pipe explosion. The only mischief these last few days had been an easily solved snafu in the catering menu and a few misplaced deposit checks.

How dangerous was it really for Brittany to just drive herself to Luis’s house and wait for him there?

But still she stood in the parking lot. Waiting. And staring at her car, wondering if she could trust the darn thing.

It really didn’t look possessed. No matter how she angled her head and squinted, she couldn’t detect even the tiniest trace of red. That had to be a good sign, didn’t it?

Maybe she would get in the car, and if the radio came on, she would get out. And run like heck. Unless the car somehow locked her in. And drove her into traffic where she was smashed to smithereens. So perhaps using the radio test wasn’t the smartest approach.

There had to be some way to test it.

What would happen if she threw holy water on it? The question would probably be more pertinent if she actually had some holy water. It was raining cats and dogs, but she somehow doubted the rain was holy. If only there was someone here to bless the rain. Where was the Pope when you needed him?

She twirled the handle of her umbrella, watching the water fly off in an arc. She didn’t have her galoshes. They were still back at her parents’ house. All she had were the clothes she had borrowed from Adela and the few things she’d picked up at the mall over the weekend. Her new shoes were getting soaked. And the strap was still digging into her ankle.

As a chill soaked into her bones, she started to have less and less sympathy for the French aristocrats. Unless they were executed in the rain. In which case they had her deepest sympathies.

It was going to be June tomorrow. Shouldn’t it be warmer than this?

Where the heck was Rodriguez? Brittany glanced toward the road.

Then she saw the figure standing in the shadow of the building, barely visible in the rain.
That isn’t Luis
.

As soon as she saw him, the small figure stepped away from the building and started toward her. Even before she could see him properly through the rain, she knew what he would look like. The shark teeth. The red eyes.

“Mikos.”

He smiled.
Way
too many teeth showed. “Brittany.”

She took a hesitant step back toward the car. Rodriguez had said he wasn’t malicious, but those teeth weren’t making her feel too warm and fuzzy. “What do you want?”

“I want you to stop trying to fix this wedding,” he called as soon as she could hear him over the drum of the rain on the umbrella. “You seem like a nice enough girl. I’d hate to have to hurt you.”

“I’d hate that too.” Her back was to the Audi now. Was it safe to jump in and drive away? Or would that give him even more power over her?

“I keep breaking things and there you are, right behind me, Little Miss Fix It. You are being quite vexing, my dear.” He walked unrelentingly toward her through the rain. She could see the red glow of his eyes now.

“Don’t come any closer!” Brittany leveled the umbrella between them, pointing it toward him like a weapon. The rain continued to pound down on her. She was drenched in seconds, but she felt better with some sort of shield.

He sighed. “I’m a
demon
, Brittany,” he reminded her, as if disappointed by her dimness.

He lifted a hand. Her umbrella began to melt. He didn’t lay a finger on it, but the webbing warped and sagged, the metal rod bowing toward the ground. The handle never even got warm, but the rest of the umbrella began to ooze like it had been dipped in lava until it was nothing more than umbrella goo. She threw the umbrella goo at him and scrambled around the car, putting it between them. The rain dripped into her eyes and she squinted against it, studying him across the roof of her car.

“Are you going to walk away from the wedding?”

“Why do you want to stop it?” she countered. “What did Lucy or Jake ever do to you?”

“Can’t I just stop it for mischief’s sake?” Mikos inquired, as if they were having a philosophical discussion and he hadn’t just melted her umbrella and threatened her with bodily harm if she didn’t drop her wedding planning. “I am a mischievous creature, after all.”

Brittany shook her head, remembering what Rodriguez had taught her about demons. “Someone summoned you and someone is sustaining you. Who is it?”

Mikos rolled his red eyes. “You can’t expect me to actually tell you. I thought only blondes were supposed to be that stupid.”

“Maybe if you tell me why you want the wedding stopped, I won’t want to fix it anymore.”

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to negotiate with the devil, my dear?”

“You aren’t a devil. You’re a demon. And I’m not your dear.”

Thunder rolled in the distance and continued to rumble, seeming to grow closer. Brittany wished for a convenient lightning bolt to fry his demonic butt. Then she realized she wasn’t hearing thunder. The single headlight of a motorcycle panned over them as the bike turned in to the parking lot.

Luis.

Mikos hissed a word in a language Brittany had never heard before. He crouched on the spot and vanished.

He didn’t run away. One second he was there, the next
poof
. No more demon. Abra-ca-freaking-dabra.

Her knees buckled. She couldn’t be sure whether it was from relief or shock at the vanishing act. There was supernatural and then there was
supernatural
. Even her open belief system was wobbling in the face of that much magic.

Luis jumped off the motorcycle at her side. “Was that him?”

She nodded dazedly, still shell-shocked.

He cupped her face in his hands and pressed a quick kiss onto her mouth. He wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and tugged her against him. She leaned into his chest, trying to steal some of his warmth as her teeth started to chatter.

“What happened?”

She forced a weak smile. “You scared him off. My knight in shining leather.” And the leather was definitely shining wetly. He was dripping head to toe from riding his motorcycle in the rain. “I thought you were going to borrow Marisol’s car.” Her mind latched onto the logic of that non sequitur. No magic. No mystery. Just a nice, clean, rational reason why he was soaked. One that had nothing to do with melting umbrellas.

He shrugged. “She needed it. You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Fine was a relative term. She wasn’t a melted mass of Brittany goo, so that was good. But she was starting to realize she was in way over her head where demons were concerned. Thank goodness she had Luis. “You seem to make a habit of rescuing me.”

“Yeah, and we both seem to end up soaked. Come on. I’ll follow you back to my place.” He walked her around the car, pausing when he saw the umbrella goo on the ground. “Did he do that?”

“Yep.” Brittany shivered, remembering her fear, though it might have been due to the rain slithering down her spine. “I don’t know which was more impressive. The melting act or the vanishing act.”

“Vanishing act?” Luis demanded. “He disappeared? He didn’t just run off?”

“No. He definitely pulled a Houdini. Poof.”

“Shit.”

Brittany couldn’t even scold him for language. Sometimes swearing was just called for.

“Whoever is fueling him must have incredible power.” His eyes focused and he seemed to remember they were standing there in the rain, getting wetter by the second. “Let’s get you home.”

Home
. She knew it was just a word, but she suddenly felt warmer. “Let’s.”