The Shambling Guide to New York City (41 page)
Read The Shambling Guide to New York City Online
Authors: Mur Lafferty
Tags: #Fiction / Romance - Fantasy, #Fiction / Fantasy - Contemporary, #Fiction / Fantasy - Urban Life, #Romance Speculative Fiction, #Fiction / Fantasy - Paranormal
The Trader was only human, and he hadn’t made his big deal yet. He was tainted by the
arkeus
’s will, but he wasn’t given superstrength or near-invulnerability yet.
The only enhanced human being left in the alley was me. Thank God.
I dug my fingers into his shoulder and set my feet, yanking him back. The baby howled, emptying its tiny lungs, and I caught it on its way down, my arm tightening maybe a little too much to yank it against my chest. I tried to avoid smacking it with a knife-hilt.
I backhanded the man with my hellbreed-strong right fist.
Goddamn it. What am I going to do now?
The baby was too small, wrapped in a bulky blue blanket that smelled of cigarette smoke and grease. I held it awkwardly in one arm while I contemplated the sobbing heap of sorry manflesh crumpled against a pile of garbage.
I’ve cuffed plenty of Traders one-handed, but never while holding a squirming, bellowing bundle of little human that smelled not-too-fresh. Still, it was a cleaner reek than the
arkeus
’s rot. I tested the cuffs, yanked the man over, and checked his eyes. Yep. The flat shine of the dust glittered in his irises. He was a thin, dark-haired man with the ghost of childhood acne still hanging on his cheeks, saliva glittering wetly on his chin.
I found his ID in his wallet, awkwardly holding the tiny yelling thing in the crook of my arm.
Jesus. Mikhail never trained me for this.
“Andy Hughes. You are
under arrest.
You have the right
to be exorcised. Anything you say will, of course, be ignored, since you’ve forfeited your rights to a trial of your peers by trafficking with Hell.” I took a deep breath. “And you should thank your lucky stars I’m not in a mood to kill anyone else tonight. Who does the baby belong to?”
He was still gibbering with fear, and the baby howled. I could get nothing coherent out of either of them.
Then, to complete the deal, the pager went off against my hip, vibrating silently in its padded pocket.
Great.
Y
M
UR
L
AFFERTY
The Shambling Guide to New York City
The Shambling Guide to New York City:
“The Shambling Guide
sets the wonderful world of the supernatural—and the slightly more esoteric world of travel guide publishing—on its ear, and the result is nothing short of delightful.”—
New York Times
bestselling author Seanan McGuire
“Mur Lafferty’s debut novel is a must-read book for those who like their urban fantasy fast, furious, and funny. Terrific stuff!”
—National bestselling author Kat Richardson
“An engagingly funny, and fun, romp through NYC. You’ll love Zoë… to bits.”
—
New York Times
bestselling author Tobias S. Buckell
“Shows exactly why so many writers have been buzzing about Mur Lafferty for so many years: an unbeatable mixture of humor, heart, imagination, and characterization. I want to live in Mur’s New York.”
—
New York Times
bestselling author Cory Doctorow
“Without Mur Lafferty, the SF genre would be a much duller place. Mur is constantly inventive, always great fun, and deserves every success.”
—Paul Cornell
“A wild ride through the secret side of New York City, Mur Lafferty’s mighty debut is urban fantasy the way it should be: fast, funny, with bags of action and characters you’ll love. A total delight from cover to cover.”
—Adam Christopher
“
The Shambling Guide to New York City
is a monstrously fun romp by one of our most engaging new authors.”—Tim Pratt
“Zombies and vampires and golems, oh my! This is a comic tour de force by a writer who lives and breathes popular culture. Mur Lafferty is throwing a monster party and you’re invited.”
—James Patrick Kelly, Hugo and Nebula Award winner
“Mur Lafferty is a bright, shining light in speculative fiction. She brings a warm, humorous, and startling fresh voice to the genre in
The Shambling Guide to New York City
.”—Kaaron Warren
“Looking for a very different kind of travel guide? One that shows you the
real
Manhattan? The one the tourists haven’t discovered yet but the vampires and the water sprites have? Then
The Shambling Guide to New York City
is just what you need! With the smart and intrepid Zoë to show you around, how could you possibly get in trouble? I give it five Michelin stars and eight Zombie Planet Thumbs-Up (with real thumbs)!”—
New York Times
bestselling author Connie Willis
Thank you for buying this e-book, published by Hachette Digital.“If Buffy grew up, got therapy for her violent tendencies, moved to New York and got a real job, it would look a lot like this.”
—
New York Times
bestselling author Scott Sigler
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PRAISE FOR THE SHAMBLING GUIDE TO NEW YORK CITY
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright © 2013 by Mary Lafferty
Excerpt from
Jill Kismet
copyright © 2013 by Lilith Saintcrow
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
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First ebook edition: May 2013
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ISBN 978-0-316-22116-0