The Shattered Genesis (Eternity) (131 page)

             
“What does your spouse have to do with this?”

             
Now, my head was spinning. Now, I was beginning to feel the urge to run. I did not want to hear anymore. I was pacing back
and forth, running my fingers through my hair and struggling to breathe normally. Behind me, behind that thick wall with the two-way mirror implanted dead in the center, Maura screamed again and cried out for my father.

             
“I don’t know! I’m sorry!” She crie
d desperately. “Please, Don…”

             
“You had better arrive at the point right this second, James! What common link is there between
your wife, your previous association with Adam and my current predicament?”

             
“My wife and I were over for a long time before the
event. We had an open marriage, to say the least. When I realized that the world was ending and I saw your face in my dream, I knew that I had to go to you. I had to get you and your family onto the ship. My wife disagreed.”

             
“DON! STOP!” Maura pleaded thr
ough her loud, trembling sobs. My heart pumped blood rapidly into my ears; the liquid flooded my brain and blocked out James's face and his words only momentarily. I was running out of time. Maura's life was beginning to slip from the current stream of sou
ls inhabiting Pangea into an unknown realm that I would never know...

             
“We fought over it.” James was saying. “It wasn’t just that. There were so many other things that we were screaming at each other about, I don’t even remember them all. Something came o
ver me. You know what it is. You’ve experienced it, that killing instinct. And I… I…”

             
The end to his story was clear. His stammering avoidance of saying the words was proof enough that he had killed his wife. When I grasped his scratchy, stubble-covered c
heek, his eyes darted all around to avoid mine. For only a shuddering minute in time, I saw his tears of regret.

             
“I’m sorry.” I whispered to him. I stood on my tiptoes so that I could press my forehead to his. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

             
“To me? Ho
w can you feel sorry for me? I
killed
her, Brynna. I deserve whatever bad happens to me from here on out. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve for you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now. Don’t you see that?”

             
“I see very clearly. I see in
your heart a guilt too painful to imagine. You might not have loved her anymore but you loved her once. You were not aware that you possessed such strength. You could not have stopped yourself.”

             
“And if I push you the way I pushed her, and you fall like
that…”

             
I shushed him gently and grasped both of his arms. I pulled them so that they encased me. Then, I gently eased his head onto my shoulder, realizing that he was crying only when his few tears ran down my neck. He never made a sound.

             
“Goddamn it,
I’m losing my man-card.” He told me sarcastically as he pulled away from me, swiping at his eyes.

             
“Stop it.” I grasped his hands.

             
“I’m surprised you’re not breaking this off right now, given how much you hate emotions.”

             
“I couldn’t break this off just b
ecause you shed a few tears. Now, if you start sobbing loudly and screaming for help at the heavens, I might consider it.” We both chuckled softly. “Now, tell me how Adam fits into all of this.”

             
His eyes did not darken. His face did not contort into an ex
pression of desire to suppress the secret. Everything simply went blank. I realized then that the worst of his story had not yet been told. Now, I would learn the true details that would shatter what we had built. Now, I would know what it was that he had
kept from me.

             
“Adam showed up. He must have just known what I had done. I was going to call the police and turn myself in. But he stopped me. He talked me down, told me that it was the evolution. Then, he got rid of her body. By then, I thought that maybe
he was alright. Maybe I had judged him wrong. He had helped me without asking me for anything in return.”

             
“But I suspect that he did ask for something in return.”

             
“Yeah, he did. Brynna, he…” James grasped both of my hands again.

             
“What? Say it, James.”
I broke my hands out of his grip and raised his head so that he was looking at me.

             
“He wanted you.”

             
By now you know that Adam wanted me. My father had kindly pointed that out. Adam's behavior betrayed his great interest in me. I knew that somehow, his in
tentions were not completely malevolent. However, being desired for any reason by a man as old, powerful and bloodthirsty as he
was certainly provoked great fear inside of me. I am not ashamed to admit that, even now.

             
“Why?” I closed my eyes as I attempte
d to stop the suddenly quickened pace with which Pangea spun on its axis.

             
“I didn't know then. I knew about the Shadows but I didn't know about the Reapers. When Adam sent them with me, they were supposed to be making sure that I held up my end of the dea
l. When I didn't...”

             
“You went to the bar that night knowing that you were supposed to turn me over to him?!” I exclaimed as I whipped around to face him. “At that point, you were still planning on giving me to him?!”

             
“I was but only until I saw you, Bry
nna! After that, I knew that I couldn't do it. I saw you and everything changed.
Everything,
Brynna.”

             
“I heard that same thought in your head weeks ago and I naively believed that it was some sweet sentiment regarding your love for me changing your life.
God or Gods, that was so stupid on my end! I almost deserve this for being so blinded by my love for you!”

             
“You don't deserve this, Brynna. I am so sorry.”

             
“So why didn't Adam kill you after you failed to come through on your obligation to him?”

             
“He sai
d that I got you to the planet and that was enough for him at that moment. But he said that eventually...”

             
“Stop pausing and just tell me what you need to tell me, James!” I shouted in fury.

             
“Eventually, I was going to have to give you up to him.”

             
“And
what did you say?! Please tell me that you said you wouldn't! Please tell me that you told him we were together and he could go to hell! Even if you referred to me in possessive terms, meaning that you said I was yours, just tell me that you told him he co
uldn't have me, James!”

             
His silence was resounding. The answer to such a terrible question had never been more painfully clear. I staggered back a step, my hand coming up to cover my mouth and my eyes widening as I turned away. I did not doubt that he was
being completely honest. Only the truth could be so vile. My arms wrapped around my middle and my hands squeezed two fistfuls of my sweatshirt in their grip tightly. The precious Pangean air could not find an open passage into my body; my head spun and I
was forced to reach out and grab a hold of the wall to steady myself.

             
Vertigo is rendered inert by touching a firm, unmoving object, I reminded myself. But that old trick was proved to be false. My legs collapsed from underneath me and only James's arms c
ould right the frantic movement of my brain tossing about from side to side in my head.

             
“Don't touch me...” I whispered fiercely, struggling to break his grip on me.

             
“I'm sorry, Brynna. I'm so sorry.”
             
“Don't touch me!” My voice rose to a forceful scream
. “Just tell me what it is that he's going to give you in return for me! Just tell me so that I can, at the very least, know exactly how valuable the reward is for my life!”

             
“He said he'd let me keep my immortal life.”

             
I found myself laughing, covering m
y mouth as though he had just delivered some sarcastic response to one of my quips.

             
“So, a reward of no value at all. That's discouraging...” I turned away from him, cringing at his attempts to touch me.

             
“Just let me tell you everything. Brynna, I'll
explain everything, I promise.”

             
From the third step leading to the floor above us, I looked back at him, shaking my head.

             
“I have heard all that I wish to hear, James. There are no hidden motives behind what you did. To put it quite simply, you were too
much of a coward to do what you were told. You couldn't turn me over to Adam because you knew that your guilt would end your life.”

             
“That's not true, baby.” He was standing at the bottom of the stairs now, imploring me to see his side of the story. Stubbo
rnly, I refused to be swayed by his pleading eyes or his words that sought but
failed to explain.

             
“I love you, Brynna.” He told me uselessly.

             
“You don't. Forgive my childish sentiments regarding love but from what I've read, the state of being generally
denotes a willingness to die for the one whom your affections are for. Clearly, that is not reality. I don't know how long it was going to be before he came to kill you, but I know that you would have given me to him then. Am I correct in that assumption?
Don't answer that!” I changed my mind quickly and squeezed my eyes shut to block out his handsome face. “I am resolved now not to care. Whatever you and I had is over, James.”

             
“Brynna, I should have told you all of this before now...”

             
“I now understand m
y inability to understand all of those books I read in which love was the key arc of the story.” I replied, more to myself than to him. “I was simply too intelligent to believe such things exist. For a while, with you, I did believe in that. Now, I underst
and again that such beliefs are downright ridiculous. How very interesting, when life comes full circle...”

             
“Stop. You're doing that to avoid feeling this. Just let me explain it to you, Brynna. If you wanted to walk away, you would have done it by now. Y
ou love me. You know I love you so much, baby. I will tell you everything you want to know, I promise.”
             

             
“I know everything. I know that you would have traded my life for yours with great hesitation. I know that in time after that, you would have reasoned
away your guilt. I would have been nothing but a distant memory to you, some uncomfortable presence in your mind that brought about a dull ache in your heart...”

             
“That's what I thought would happen but that's not...”
             

             
“Your lies baffle you, James. You a
re blinding yourself to them.”

             
I was offering dull, lifeless retorts to every point he presented to me. If I felt the pain of his betrayal there, even for the quickest of milliseconds, I would crumple to the ground, screaming, sobbing, and pleading with h
im to tell me that he was lying, that it was all just a cruel joke. I am sure that this goes without saying by now, but I would not beg him or anyone else for anything.

             
“Brynna, you know... you
know
I love you. Somewhere, you know that. Stay with me, baby
. I'll tell you everything. Just don't end this. I can explain this to you...”

             
Maura's shriek of pain raised the hair on the back of my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut and broke free from his grasp, fighting the tremor of fright that passed through me at th
e thought of her time running out.

             
“I understand this far better than you do.” I told James in hurried anger. “Do not condescend me by implying that I need an explanation from you. Goodbye, James.”