The Sibylline Oracle (14 page)

With all but one detail decided, the family had sent Alex back to the cottage. He was getting loopy from the rollercoaster of his emotions and lack of sleep. And Alex, typically the optimist, felt the weight of the decisions that they had faced. Frankly, the “solution” was unacceptable; there were too many unknowns. He’d spent a lifetime of planning for this moment, and the results left only a
possibility
of success. But that possibility was all he had right now. That, and an evening alone with her.

Tomorrow, Alex would face his greatest fear; it was second only to losing
her
again to death. He would have to tell Valeria the whole truth about who she was and what was about to happen. That thought left Alex nauseous and dizzy.

How would she respond to the information, he wondered. Would she run from him, only to face her fate alone? That thought forced his stomach into his throat. Alex stopped and leaned against a tree.
Breathe!
Having her die alone would be more than he could bear. Or would he be able to convince her that their plan, no matter how wild, was worth the effort—only to lose her again because of that effort? That outcome was equally as displeasing. Alex took a moment to close his eyes and tune out the noise in his head. He breathed in deeply for three counts, concentrating on the sounds of the forest. These might be his last hours with her, for who knew how many eternities? Camille had said that he needed to find a way to be with Valeria and rejoice in this time. Right now, she was alive and was finally with him. Alex needed to distract himself from the rest of it. But there was only one thought that could distract him. Those were the thoughts that he worked constantly to keep at bay when she was with him. He had to remind himself that she may have a sense of familiarity, but
  he
had the memories. He had so wanted to give her time…but there was none left.

With his anxiety peaked, his only solace was in her. Looking into her eyes and showing her his heart the day before had been dangerous. Alex could see that the passion in her eyes matched his own, and made him yearn for her again. He imagined how it would be to feel those lips against his and taste her sweet mouth. He imagined the feel of her soft curls against his neck and her body wrapping around his—flesh against flesh, heart against heart. And he dreamed of what it would be like to have his desire for her finally fulfilled.

The hunger that had consumed him for thousands of years suddenly overtook him. To have a few nights of refuge from a lifetime of fear and desire was an almost overwhelming proposition. And tonight, she would sleep in the next room.

Taking a slow, deep breath, Alex worked to stave off his passion. He stared up at the stars; how had another day passed so quickly? They seemed to fly while she was here. Calming himself, he knew that he would not take the risk of pleasure now. He had a bigger dream than making love to her. It was that other vision that gave him purpose for everything else. Even if it meant indefinitely delaying the pleasures that would be only a few feet
away from him tonight.

Alex approached the cottage and saw that all of the lights were out. So that he didn’t wake her, he quietly worked his way into the kitchen and flipped on the under-counter lighting. He walked by the bedroom but the bed was made and empty. A bolt of panic shot through him.

Why hadn’t he had someone watching her? He turned on all of the lights and, now certain that she wasn’t there, headed outside to return to the main house. Had she left on her own? Or had Aegemon found her? Alex fought back the bile that rose in his throat. Why had he left her alone?

Feeling heartsick, he sprinted toward the trail. As he came around the side of the house, the moon peeked from between the branches of the gingko and he saw something under the tree. He approached and found her asleep on a blanket, a book still in her hand. Alex breathed a deep sigh of relief, his heart rate slowing as his fear began to wane.

The moonlight caressed her face with gentle shadows. It was when she was sleeping that he could fully appreciate her beauty. He took a moment to take in every turn of the face that he’d adored across lifetimes.

“Hey, beautiful...” he said, gently nudging her. Valeria instantly shot up, startled and disoriented.

“It’s Alex,” he said, softly.

Valeria reached for him and, for a moment, his arms went around her in the most marvelous way. He pulled her into his chest, his hands taking in the feel of her neck and back and then running down her arms. She felt his deep, low breath of desire as his lips brushed the side of her face. Then she felt his back stiffen and he pulled his hands away.
Oh, that’s right...there was still Cassandra!
Valeria pulled away from him, embarrassed.

He stroked her arms. “You’re cold! Let’s get you inside.” Alex wrapped the blanket around her as she struggled to awaken.
He muttered to himself, “I should have checked on you sooner!” Then he realized that she hadn’t eaten. “You must be starving. I’m afraid I forgot about food today.”

Suddenly, Valeria felt a gnawing emptiness in her stomach and wondered whether it was hunger or a reflection of her heart. She gathered up the book and the blanket. Why did he have to be so damned wonderful? She sulked into the cottage and watched as he lit a fire. “Let me fix you something to eat. What would you like?” He went to the refrigerator but she could sense something in his mood was dark and serious. He sighed deeply, asking, “Eggs, chicken, pasta?”

Forcing the emotion back she said, “I’m really not hungry.” She wondered for a moment if he heard the strain in her voice.

As he stood in the light from the refrigerator, Alex turned and his eyes narrowed. “Is everything alright?”

Taking a deep breath, she did something she never did—she lied. “I ate a slice of pizza earlier.” Well, it wasn’t a complete lie; the last thing she
had
eaten was a slice of pizza. But Valeria knew she couldn’t face Alex without feeling a deep sadness for what she would never have.

“If you don’t mind, I think the hangover has affected me. I think I’ll call it an early evening. Do you still want me to sleep here?”

Alex looked at her critically. “Of course.” He closed the refrigerator and walked back to the fire. He sat on the sofa and propped his legs on the coffee table. “That’s probably just as well. I’m not good company tonight.” From the bedroom window, the full moon peered from behind the gingko tree. Valeria marveled at the beauty and allure of the evening. It was quite romantic─except that it was meant for someone else.

“Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be out here,” Alex said, woodenly.

Valeria felt jilted. Not that she wanted to jump into bed with him—well, not that she hadn’t thought about that, too. But somehow, in the back of her mind, she believed that this would be a new beginning for her—one where she would realize her heart’s desire. Valeria grimaced. Well, she had realized her heart’s desire,
but he was already taken!
Still, life here with Alex and his family somehow felt fuller. It was as if she'd always been waiting for this level of…life and feeling. And now she knew that she could never be happy with the two-dimensional drawing that was
her real life
…her life without Alex.

Opening her suitcase, she searched for the oversized T-shirt that she slept in at home. How was it that she had fallen asleep in her clothes every night since she had arrived? Valeria rolled her eyes. In her hurry to pack, she had not brought a single robe or pair of pajamas. As a matter of fact, she had brought nothing that could even be construed as comfortable nightwear except her sweats and T-shirt that were dirty from badminton.

Glancing at Alex, who was still sitting on the couch and staring at the fire, she suddenly felt angry. He had lured her here, pretending to care about her, when it was really that he needed her to help him reunite with his true love. Why hadn’t he just told her the truth from the start? She would have helped him, and then her heart wouldn’t have been ripped to shreds! Now here she was, humiliated, as the man she had come to care about sat staring into the fire wishing his ladylove was with him.

Maybe Weege was right when she said that men were only capable of caring about themselves. But Valeria knew it was just her pain talking. Obviously, Alex cared about more than himself. She just wished he could care about her. She took a deep breath, attempting to ease her pain. It didn’t work. She should just ask Alex for a T-shirt. But Valeria couldn’t bear to tell him that she hadn’t brought nightwear for this obviously platonic weekend. In the end, her practicality won out, and she gathered her courage.

“Um, Alex?”

“Yes?” He didn’t even care enough to properly acknowledge her by turning around. Suddenly, she was afraid that her voice would crack. “It’s just that I didn’t bring…I mean, I packed so quickly that I forgot to bring anything to sleep in.”

Alex rubbed his head as if irritated. Valeria thought he could have at least been kind about it. Instead, she felt embarrassed and deflated for having gone away with him only to discover that he wasn’t interested in her.

“Uh, well, what would you like? I have a number of…” his voice broke off. “You know there’s T-shirts or …well, whatever you like in the walk-in. Just help yourself.”

The walk-in closet was huge. And just what she had imagined his closet would look like. The dark wood had built-in lights and numerous drawers. Everything was perfectly folded, clean, and organized. On one side of the closet, half of the racks were clear of any clothes, as if had cleared them just for her.
Or had he done it for Cassandra?
Valeria saw Alex’s maroon sweater from their first meeting in New York. It was lying in a pile to be dry-cleaned. She pulled the sweater to her face and inhaled his that wonderful blend of soap and aftershave. She realized what she was doing and angrily dropped the sweater back into the bin.

Pulling a T-shirt from the hanger, she decided it would do. She changed in the closet and came out. Of course, she didn’t need to worry about Alex looking; he was obviously distracted by his thoughts of Cassandra. She crawled into the bed. It was the first time she had a chance to evaluate it and decided the bed was incredibly comfortable. Yet, with her heart rate rising from anger, she doubted she would sleep. She turned the lamp off, and said, “Well, good night.”

Alex mumbled something.

She laid there for ten minutes and found herself getting more and more worked up. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. Did
he really believe that she was so desperate that she would lie there in his bed,
alone,
while he sat there and…
what?
She bolted straight up in bed and sensed Alex stiffen his back but not turn.

Trying to determine an outlet for her anger, she got out of bed. She didn’t know what to do, but she knew she couldn’t just go to sleep!

There was always David. She began pacing the room, working off her nervous energy. At least David wanted her. He was probably in Prague by now. She could be there by morning—if she had a car. But here she was in the middle of nowhere. She went into the closet again but came out fully dressed this time. She threw her clothes from the day before into the suitcase. That felt good. Alex turned sideways to peek over the couch.

“Val? Everything okay?” he asked. Valeria thought he almost sounded concerned. Well, it was just too late now.

She
grabbed her cell phone. She only had a few bars but she dialed David’s number. There was a long pause then his phone rang and went right to voicemail. Valeria left a message, “David, I’m at a private estate called Morgana about ten miles north of Trento, Italy. Will you come and get me?” By then Alex was standing, looking with concern toward the bedroom.

As he walked to the room’s archway, she began throwing the rest of her clothes into her suitcase with as much force as she could muster. “Val, what’s wrong?”

She was hyperventilating when she went into the bathroom and packed all her toiletries in her bag. “A little late for that,” she muttered.

Alex came to the bathroom door with his hands in his pockets, feeling helpless. “Val? I’m not sure what’s happened, but would you prefer to sleep at the main house?”

She pushed past him and back into the bedroom to her suitcase. He returned to the archway, trying to stay out of her way, his eyes wide and full of panic. Valeria grabbed a pair of socks and her shoes and brushed past Alex. She sat on the barstool in the kitchen and began putting them on.

By now, she was shaking. She hoped he wouldn’t notice. “No. I don’t want to stay at the main house. I don’t want to stay here at all. I’ve had enough of this Alex. Please call me a cab? I’ll get a hotel in town.”

Alex turned to face her in the kitchen. “Please, Val! Please tell me what I did wrong!”

She glowered, her face flushed in righteous fury. “Oh, you didn’t do anything wrong! It’s me. I made the mistake of going away with someone I didn’t know.” She put her hands to her head. “God! What was I thinking?” By now, to her embarrassment, angry tears began to flow. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. “I know it’s late but I’m sure you can call me a cab.”

“Val, are you crying?”

She rose and walked back to the bedroom, brushing by him, once again, to get her suitcase. “No…” she lied, again. “I’m leaving.”