The Silent Love (10 page)

Hannah had not met the woman as yet, for she came very early in the morning and left before Hannah had arisen from her bed, working by the light of many lamps and candles. It seemed that she had to work in the fields during the day and had little time for the project, but needed the money very badly.

Hannah did not even know her name. She was let in each dawn by the scullery maid and came to the nursery by way of the servants' stairs, never entering the main part of the house.

Mary Strongbow wanted no part of the Marquis, and made certain that she avoided him.

 Each time Hannah visited the nursery to survey the progress therein she was gripped by a multitude of emotions. Happiness that she would have a small babe to love and nurture, gratitude that she had been spared a life of drudgery and given this wonderful home... and sorrow as well.

Sorrow that she would never know the babe's father, nor he know his son. For she was certain it would be a son, knew it in her very bones. She began a small ritual of spending an hour each morning in the nursery by herself, sitting in the rocker by the wide window, her hands placed over her stomach as she talked to the child within her.

She would sing little nursery songs, whisper of her dreams for a good life for the child, and sometimes her mind would drift, without her consent, to the shadowed man who was the child's sire.

Hannah suffered greatly from morning sickness, and her hands and feet were constantly swollen and aching. As she grew larger, her diminutive body was assailed with all manner of pains and aches, for the babe was large and she was not.

Her stomach protruded from her thin body and gave her a comical look. But there was nothing comical about the nausea and heartburn that she endured. She suffered as well from bouts of depression that left her listless and wan, as she wandered the house, her eyes unseeing and her hands resting always over the babe cradled in her womb.

The Marquis, worried about his young wife, kept his distance and watched her grieving, knowing there was nothing he could do to ease her, for she was oblivious to her grief. She denied it with every gesture and word, denying the love that was pushed back, buried deeply in the furthest regions of her consciousness.

Her suffering became his own and with time, he began to wear under the strain, new lines of fatigue appearing in his careworn face as his sleep was disturbed by dreams of his son.

In his dreams David hovered just beyond the lawn, staring toward the house with hungry pain-filled eyes. The Marquis would hurry toward him, closing the distance on strong legs, only to find that David had turned into the forest and disappeared just as he reached him. He would wake, sweating and cold, trembling with torment. The dreams came nightly.

His solicitor had tracked David's movements from the very first day, and the Marquis knew the boy—as he often thought of him—was somewhere on the high seas. A letter had arrived yesterday, from Hong Kong, David's last port. The man of business had written to give David's next destination, for he had signed on with yet another packet, bound for Australia. Would he ever come back? The Marquis did not know.

He instructed Mr. Maguire to continue putting the allowance into David's account and keep him appraised of the boy's movements. Each time he received a missive, he would go to the map he had put up on his wall and pin a small flag at a port where David had been.

He knew his son was trying to build his life without relying on anyone else, and he admired the character that had allowed him to turn his back on the generous allowance, but lamented that he had turned his back as well, on his father.

As time passed, the tiny flags drew a pattern of David's movements, and his course had at last turned toward home.

Relieved to find that David's ship would be docking in England within the month, the Marquis began to make plans for his arrival, hoping to draw him home to fulfill his duty as the guardian of the heir.  He was rapidly sinking under the strain of the last months, and it was clear he only held on to see the babe born and David home to care for mother and child.

Chapter Seven

~~

David stood on the roiling deck, his eyes trained on the far horizon, the storm clouds far behind. He had spent the last several hours battling, along with the rest of the crew, to keep the vessel from keeling in the high seas. As a deck hand, he was getting better, but his seasickness still came on quite regularly. Eight months at sea and he still could not keep his dinner down.

He had been to far places, and now he was coming home again. Home being the one place he was not sure he wanted to be. In fact, he wasn't sure just where home was anymore, except that England, in a broad sense, was his homeland.

He knew that his father had not stopped his allowance, for he had gotten a missive from the solicitor as soon as he had returned to London. He had only used what he had to, less than the amount he was accustomed to and when a friend in the shipping business had mentioned that they were looking for seamen, he had hopped on the first schooner headed for the Orient, intending never to return.

He
had
returned, though, for he found that no matter where he went the memories that haunted him were there. No matter how far he traveled, she went with him, tucked into the corners of his mind and heart with such tenacity that he could not shake her off.

At his last port, he had received a letter from Mr. Maguire that had both shaken him to his core and exalted him. He patted the pocket of his coat, feeling the letter there. It seemed that he was to be a father, after all, and the old Marquis was very ill, so he needed to get to Darlington House as soon as possible.

Torn between wanting to see her and wanting to run off again to sea, he was a man beleaguered by his frazzled nerves. He knew now that he could make a life for himself without anyone's help and had in fact, thought of investing in a shipbuilding business with the captain of the vessel he now sailed on.

They were working on the details, and, if all came through, he would be a businessman soon, and eventually wealthy in his own right. He would be able to take his inheritance and plow it back into a trust fund for the child.
His
child.

David turned his eyes to the faint line of land on the horizon and knew that he was almost there. The sound of "Land Ho!" rang out even as he strained to be certain that he was seeing England.

His England—his home—where somewhere deep in a small valley in Cheshire, his future awaited him.

.

*  * * * *

.

Hannah could not get comfortable. Her swollen stomach protruded from her thin frame in a most awkward manner, and her heartburn was worse today. Though she had heard that pregnant women were beautiful, she knew better. Her blotchy complexion and lank hair, dull eyes and swollen body were anything but beautiful.

Right from the beginning, this had been a difficult pregnancy. Her morning sickness had lasted well into the fourth month, and, just when it had subsided, the heartburn and aching back had replaced it.

Eight months into her term, she was a wobbling, graceless blob. She cried a lot, never quite well. Reaching for Darwin's hand, she allowed the old butler to assist her to her feet.

"Thank you, Darwin. I shall just go along now to the garden. Perhaps some mint tea could be brought out to me there."

She moved her ponderous body across the room, her billowing dress reminding her of the night rail she had worn the first time he had come to her. Shying away from the thought, she tried to hurry along, but of course, she could not.

Darwin, who seldom spoke if he could help it, nodded to her departing back and went to give cook instructions. He watched over his charges like a mother hen. The Marquis was up and about for the first time in days, having contracted a cold that had kept him in bed. The solicitor had sent for David, but he had not arrived yet. And, the old gentleman appeared to be on the mend.

The mistress, however, was in a terrible way. She not only suffered with the physical symptoms of her condition, but her mental condition was not good as well. She moped about, and cried a lot, and her temperament was no longer sweet. She had actually snapped at her maid the other day and it had startled the woman so that she nearly quit her position.

It had taken all of his skills as a mediator to keep her from leaving. He for one would be very relieved when the child was born and things could return to normal. Of course, he did not take into account that a new babe in the house would preclude anything like what he considered to be normal for a very long time.

Distracted from his errand by the sound of an arriving carriage, he went to the door and was most gratified to see Master David stepping out of the coach. Rugged and wind burned, his face fairly glowed with health and his neat trim beard outlined the granite of his long jaw very nicely. A gentleman born, thought the old retainer, as he hurried to greet the lad.

"Darwin, you old devil! So good to see you!" David spoke as though he had known the man forever, but in fact had only met the butler during his brief visits to the house a few months earlier, though they were cousins, of a distant connection, but cousins nonetheless. It was a sign of his newfound confidence that he could come forward to the servant in such a manner.

"My father? How is he?" David, anxious to see his parent, threaded his way around the footmen carrying his trunks—of which there were many—then moved into the foyer, his eyes darting everywhere for a glimpse of her. He was disappointed as she was nowhere in sight. His heart lifted, however, at the butlers words.

"Your father is doing quite well, actually. He will be delighted to see you. He has followed your travels and pinned a map to the wall, that he might stick pins in it, marking every port you have been in."

"And my... stepmother?" David realized with a start that she
was
his stepmother, and it gave him a very odd feeling indeed. "Is she fairing well in her... condition?"

"Not so well, I am afraid. She does suffer from a great many things these days. But be of good cheer, for the doctor has assured us all that she will come through fine. Just so... despondent, I suppose you might say. The doctor says that is quite normal as well."

Darwin, knowing that the young master would want to know as much about the mistress of the house as he could glean, had spoken more than was his normal habit. There were few secrets in this house he was not privy too. He went on his way quietly, his long, aquiline 'Larkspur' nose lifted haughtily, as usual, and his black Strongbow eyes speculative.

"David, my boy! Is that you out there in the hall! Come in and let me have a look at you!" At the sound of his father's voice, so strong and sure, David hurried into the study and went directly to the old fellow, taking him into a bear hug when his parent, with some difficulty, stood up and held out his hands.

"Father. I am glad you are well. Mr. Maguire made it sound as though you were on your deathbed. I was beside myself, worrying." David swallowed a lump in his throat and accepted a glass of port, seating himself near his father's desk.

"Are you home then for good?" The Marquis looked keenly at the man, noting his changed appearance and newfound confidence with gratification.

"Well, I suppose I shall have to be if you want my assistance with the estate and... other things as well." He alluded to his guardianship and fell silent, waiting.

"Yes, by all means, I expect you to do your part. You have come through for me in the past... " the Marquis alluded to the pregnancy, "... and I expect you'll continue to do so."

"How will you explain my presence here?"

"Nothing to explain. You're my son returned home after a great adventure and you are going to take up country living... giving an old man ease in his last days."

"Surely not days... more like years from the look of you."

"Well, one can never be sure, of course, but I tell you that since Hannah came to me with the news, I've been fairly glowing with health. Something about having a new babe in the offing that makes a man young."