The Sins of the Mother (4 page)

Olivia was never afraid to try something new or take risks, as long as Joe approved of what she did. She did nothing without his advice. And he even approved of her many trips. She never left town without consulting him, but he respected what she needed to do to maintain and improve on what they’d built. And if she wasn’t able to be with the children as much as she would have liked, Maribelle and Joe covered the bases for her. As far as they could see, their system worked, and Phillip and Liz were happy children, thriving on the love of three people instead of two. And they never seemed unhappy when their mother was out of town or at work. When that was the case, Maribelle and Joe met all their needs. They were constantly being loved, pampered, or held, even if Olivia wasn’t there to do it. It made her sad sometimes to miss important moments with them. She hadn’t been there when Liz took her first steps, or for her first tooth, but she was doing something important for them too, assuring their life and well-being in the years ahead.

They had opened four more stores, and had eight in all, when John was born three years later. They barely made it to the hospital in time for him. Olivia had been watching them inventory new merchandise that she had designed herself, and she missed all the early signs of labor. Joe rushed her to the hospital when she suddenly doubled over, and John was born in the elevator on the way to the delivery room. Joe teased her about it later, as he held his second son.

“I don’t know what you’re better at, Olivia Grayson, having babies, or running a business. You’re mighty good at both.” John had been a beautiful child and looked a lot like his mother. He was peaceful and lay in his father’s arms with an angelic look. And when Joe handed him back to her, he nestled happily at her breast. Phillip was five by then, and Liz was three, and Maribelle was delighted to take care of all three of them, and did it with ease. Olivia and John hired a housekeeper to help her, and a cook, and Joe left work early to lend a hand whenever he could. Olivia never seemed to be able to get out of the store till dinnertime, but she was religious about getting home before they went to bed. And putting them to bed herself was a sacred ritual to her, except when she was traveling, which was happening more and more. She was responsible about both her family and her work.

Olivia opened their first store abroad in a suburb outside London, followed by a store in Paris, and Dublin opened after that. Two in Germany, and another near Milan. They expanded into Sweden then, at the same time they opened a store in Texas and two on the West Coast. Olivia had been on the covers of
Time
,
Business Week
, and
Fortune
by then. She had become one of the most important women in business in the United States. She wasn’t arrogant or showy; she was smart, brave, and practical, and her visions for the future had no limits. She dreamed of setting up stores based on their successful model around the world. And she managed to keep their quality high, their designs appealing, and their prices on the cutting edge. Ansel Morris’s hardware store, expanded into an old factory outside Boston, had become a world event.

Olivia’s marriage to Joe remained uneventful and strong. He backed her in everything she did, ran the business side efficiently, and expected very little from her in return. He was just happy to be part of her life, and he was her biggest fan. Her mother scolded her sometimes for not spending more time with her children, but Olivia did the best she could. She loved them unquestionably, but she found business more exciting than motherhood. Joe filled in whenever he could. He and Maribelle took care of the children whenever Olivia was busy, which was most of the time. She traveled constantly. But whenever she was home, she spent her evenings with Joe and the children. She had no hunger for a racy social life, or to show off their wealth. She just enjoyed building their business into an empire, and as a result of her genius in business, their fortune grew exponentially. She talked about their children working with them one day. And never having known her own father, she valued the father that Joe was to their kids. He never missed a Little League game or a school play. He was as solid as a rock for all of them. He was someone she knew she could always depend on. He had never let her down, and she knew he never would.

Olivia thought they had the perfect family. Three children were more than she had ever dreamed of. When Phillip was twelve, Liz ten, and John seven, and Olivia was thinking about opening a store in Australia, she was startled and none too pleased to discover that she was pregnant again. She was just too busy to have a baby, and couldn’t imagine how it had happened. But Joe was ecstatic when she told him, and he said he wanted another little girl. Olivia was thirty-six by then, and Maribelle was sixty-one, but said she was willing to take care of another baby. She was totally devoted to her grandchildren, and at times more of a mother to them than Olivia was herself. She was away so much of the time, and constantly visiting their stores.

Cassandra was born seven months later. This time it was a difficult birth, she was born by cesarean section, and Olivia’s recovery took longer, and she chafed to get back to work. But the baby was exquisite and Joe was thrilled. Olivia had a harder time bonding with her than she had with the others. The pregnancy hadn’t been as easy, it had slowed her down more, and the birth had been much harder. Without even realizing it, she resented the time and energy it had taken from her dedication to her business. And she was no longer geared to having a baby. Her first three had been born within five years of each other and were all young together. Cassandra, or Cassie as they called her, had come along later in their lives and didn’t fit in as easily as the others. And right from the beginning, she was different. All three of the Grayson children were blonds, and looked like Olivia and Joe. Cassie had jet-black hair and big green eyes and looked like no one anyone could remember. And from the moment she could talk, her first word was “No!” Maribelle whispered to her son-in-law more than once that Cassie was just like her mother. Olivia had had her own ideas as a child too, but she had been much easier than Cassie, who became the family dissident.

Cassie adored her father, and early on she always complained about how little time their mother spent with them. The others had noticed it too by then, but Olivia had an empire to run, she had to rely on Joe and her mother to do for the children whatever she didn’t have the time to do. She tried to be at important events, at school plays and ballet recitals, but it was hard to cover the day to day, and Joe was always better at it, and he never criticized Olivia for the time she didn’t spend with them. He understood perfectly what she was trying to do, and what she had done. He knew he could never have done it himself. And he filled in for her whenever, wherever, and however he could. Olivia always said he was a saint. She loved her children, but he was the perfect husband and father.

It was a terrible blow for her when Joe died at sixty, and she was widowed at fifty-five. It was impossible for her to imagine her world without him in it, after thirty-two years together. And she found that the only thing that dulled the pain of the loss was work. She worked harder than ever then. Cassie was already in college, the others were grown and gone, and married, and Liz had children of her own. They didn’t need her as a daily presence anymore. And when Cass left for England, Maribelle moved into a senior residence. She was eighty years old and said that it was time. She had given Olivia a remarkable gift, which Olivia was well aware of. She had brought up her children for her, and had put in thirty years taking care of them so that Olivia could run the business that supported them all. Once Cass moved away, with her mother gone and the emptiness of her life without Joe, Olivia’s life became only about work. And the years flew by.

It had been fourteen years since Joe’s death, and now what Olivia looked forward to every year were the brief two weeks she spent on vacation with her children every summer. She had missed so much of their childhood that what she treasured now was the time she spent with them as adults. It was too late for her to repair the damage with Cass. Cassie wouldn’t let her mother do that, and had put an unbridgeable distance between them ever since her father’s death. He was still sorely missed by all. He had been such a good man, and a kind one, that Olivia’s heart still ached whenever she thought of him. Olivia knew just how lucky she had been to be married to him, and she was well aware of the blessings he had bestowed upon her life.

Olivia had started their annual vacations in order to mend her fences with her children, ever since Joe had died. It wasn’t enough, she knew, to compensate for what she hadn’t done before. She hadn’t realized at the time that while she had been assuring their future, she had been missing so much of the present and past. She knew that no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t do it all. Joe, until the very end, thought that Olivia could do no wrong. And Olivia knew how lucky she had been to have the love of a good man such as Joe. She had always loved him and their kids even if she was away a lot. Joe understood that. Not all her children did.

Olivia was still trying to make up to her children for the important moments she had missed when they were young. Her mother said they would forgive her one day, but she was beginning to wonder if that was possible. You couldn’t give someone back the time you had taken from them early on. All she could do now was try. She had always been honest with them. She had loved them, and she loved them now as adults, probably more than they realized or could understand. And some of them were more forgiving than others. Liz had done somersaults for her approval, although she had it anyway. And John didn’t seem to hold the past against her. Phillip kept her at a distance, and she knew that Cass would never forgive her for her sins, particularly for not being there when Joe died.

And in the final accounting, who was to say who was right and who was wrong? Olivia couldn’t help wondering how different it might have been if she had stopped working when the children were born, if they would have been happier, or if having her mother and Joe there for them had been enough. They would never know. Their life would have been simpler certainly, but maybe the empire she had built for them mattered to them less than she hoped. You couldn’t turn back the clock. She had done the best she could, and she still did, maintaining the business for them, and providing them with special moments and memorable summer trips. And she hoped that on the fabulous yacht she had chartered for them this year, it would be the best trip of all. One could only hope.

And she knew that what she would leave them one day, built on more than fifty years of her hard work, would sustain them, and their children’s children, for generations to come. It was her gift to them as much as her love, whether they understood that and forgave her failings and her sins, or not. The business she had built for them had been an expression of her love. The die had been cast in the decisions she had made fifty years before. Olivia still couldn’t believe how fast the time had flown.

Chapter 3

I
n recent years Olivia’s invitations to her children for their family vacation had come by e-mail, roughly six weeks before the trip. They always knew it was coming, and that it would be in the last two weeks of July, ending with her birthday on the last night. That much was predictable. What they didn’t know, and what she surprised them with every year, was the location. It was always someplace fabulous, and Olivia worked hard to come up with an unusual venue that everyone would love.

She wanted it to be a place and a trip that her children would remember forever. At one time it had had to be suitable for small children, when her grandchildren were younger. Now they had reached a reasonable age, from late teens to mid-twenties, when they could enjoy the same type of location as the adults, but it had to be lively enough to amuse everyone, and not just a peaceful place to provide rest for the grown-ups. It also had to offer fishing for her sons, who were addicts of the sport, and Phillip was fond of playing golf whenever possible. Both he and John loved sailing, a passion shared by their father when they were boys. They had gone to sailing camp as kids. The vacation had to be in a place that the women in the group would enjoy—her daughters, daughters-in-law, and granddaughters—and she wanted to relax and have fun too, so that ruled out rigorous trips like trekking in Nepal. She always opted for luxury over adventure. Whatever their qualms about vacationing as a family, Olivia tried to come up with a trip that would incorporate everyone’s needs and desires, accommodate their quirks, and still any fears they might have about spending close to two weeks under one roof together. It was an interesting challenge, and she always wanted it to be special, and an unforgettable holiday for them all. It was something she could do for them.

The first year, she had rented a château in France, fully staffed, in Périgord. It had been beautiful beyond belief, with picturesque terrain and vineyards, and excellent horseback riding nearby in Dordogne. Her grandchildren had been little then, and they had loved it too. There had been a spectacular villa in St. Tropez complete with speedboats and a private beach; a fabulous estate in Spain; and a private island in Greece that had been a major hit. There had been a famous house in St. Jean Cap Ferrat that later sold for seventy-five million dollars, a
Schloss
in Austria, a private island in the Caribbean that had been hot but fabulous, and a Vanderbilt mansion in Newport. Olivia never disappointed them, and she hoped not to this year either. The location she ultimately selected, after nearly a full year of research, was always a secret until they got the invitation on the first of June.

As Amanda Grayson, Phillip’s wife, opened the e-mail early in the morning, she was the first to see this year’s location. It was the three-hundred-foot motor yacht
Lady Luck
, built two years before, anchored in Monaco, and they would be cruising the Mediterranean in Italy and France. The boat included every imaginable luxury and comfort, including a gym, a spa, a movie theater, and a hair salon, complete with trainers and attendants, and a crew of twenty-four, and all kinds of water toys, from jet skis to sailboats to speedboats to delight the children. Olivia had outdone herself.