The Sisters (23 page)

‘Mum, in case you haven’t noticed, my husband has left me.’

‘So’

‘What do you mean so? Mum, my husband has left me and is trying to take me for everything I own.’

‘Blouse and skirt
Jessica, that doesn’t mean you have to fall apart. I didn’t bring you up like that.’

‘Please mum, this isn’t about you. This is my life, not yours.’

‘So you’re going to drink it away are you? Look at yourself in the mirror. This isn’t the woman you’re meant to be. Instead of picking up a bottle, why don’t you come to your family?’

‘Family.’ Jessica spat the word out as if the wine she’d just taken a sip of was arsenic. ‘Family is the reason why I’m in this mess.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Felicia said as she took a step back from her daughter whose eyes were now wild with anger.

‘Why don’t you ask your precious daughter, Lucinda. This is all her fault.’

‘What has your sister got to do with anything? She’s only been back in the country for five minutes and you won’t even talk to her and I know she tried. For God’s sake, why can’t you put Lucinda leaving behind you? It’s in the past. It happened. Leave it alone.’

‘That’s a bit rich coming from someone who teaches classics. Leave it all in the past. What a joke.’

‘You know what, you need to put the drink down and have something to eat. I bought soup for you.’

‘I don’t want any bloody soup. Soup isn’t going to stop Lucinda from ruining my life again.’

‘Jessica, let it go. Why can’t you talk to your sister? Why don’t you try?’

‘Try? Mum, Lucinda only tried because she wanted to cover up what she’s doing.’

‘What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense.’

‘Well, let me make it clearer for you. As soon as Lucinda came back Andrew packed his bags and left me. Now why do you think that was?’ Jessica stood up unsteadily on her feet whilst Felicia said nothing as she reluctantly tried to absorb what Jessica was saying about her sister. ‘You and dad have always put her on a pedestal. You think that sharing the same blood allows you to ignore her faults.’

‘Stop it. Your father and I have always treated you the same.’

‘No, you haven’t. Dad acts like the sun shines out of Lou’s arse and you just tolerate us.’

‘You know what, child, I’m going to go home before you say something you’re going to regret.’

‘It’s not the first time you know. You all think this is about Lucinda breaking up Euterpe.’

‘I’m going home.’ Felicia turned and walked out of the living room.

‘She slept with him, mum,’ Jessica shouted at her mum’s back. ‘Five years ago, your precious daughter slept with my husband and she’s doing the same thing now.’ Felicia spun around and without thinking slapped Jessica on her left side of her face. Jessica staggered back in shock as the stinging spread through her face as though she’d fallen onto a pile of nettles. Despite Richard leaving the disciplining of the girls to his wife, as he knew he was too soft, Felicia had never hit any of their daughters. There had been the occasional smack on their legs when they had been naughty toddlers and when Beatrice had aged five stuck a knife in the toaster causing her to fly off her stool as the toaster sparked in front of her but she’d never hit her daughters until now.

‘Your sister,’ Felicia said her voice cold with anger ‘wouldn’t do anything like that. She’s a lot of things but I know her and she wouldn’t…’

‘Why don’t you ask her and watch her lie in your face,’ Jessica said as she pushed her mum out of her house.

FELICIA FELT sick as she drove home that evening. She’d never seen Jessica that way. This angry, bitter woman was unknown to her. As she approached the Old Street roundabout she wondered when exactly she’d become no more than a casual observer in her daughter’s life. Felicia was under no illusion that she wasn’t a natural mother. She’d never wanted children. Whereas other girls had been pushing dolls in toy prams and spending hours combing their doll’s hair or pretending to be mum when they played in their Wendy houses in the nursery, she’d always had her nose in a book and her father’s words ringing in her ears. ‘Education is everything, Felicia. You won’t have anything if you don’t have a good education behind you. Children can wait and if they’re not meant for you then don’t worry but make sure you have an education behind you.’ When the girls came one by one she’d tried to install those same values in them but even she could see that there was something else driving Lucinda and Jessica, more than encouraged by their father who believed there was nothing wrong with trying anything once. Richard had been like that at university. He was supposed to be reading physics at university but had only stuck with it for one term before he switched to a mechanical engineering degree with the delusional idea of designing planes for a living. Felicia had tried to convince him to aim for a more stable and realistic career but he was like Lucinda and when he put his mind to something he did it, which was why he’d spent over thirty years working in the aerospace industry. Felicia recalled how furious she’d been when she found out that Lucinda and Jessica had convinced Beatrice to join them. Thank God, Emma had been so much younger than them and Felicia had been able to hold onto her and steer her in the right direction. She’d hoped that when Emma had taken a place at Warwick University to study History that she would have maintained an academic course in her career and had been disappointed when she’d left a career in publishing for PR. At least Felicia could still boast to her friends about her daughter the lawyer.

‘What sort of woman are you?’ Felicia said over the noise of the car radio. The sound of a car horn beeped repeatedly as she sat at the traffic lights that had now turned green. It was almost nine o’clock but she wasn’t ready to go home and have to lie to her husband’s face. She’d texted him whilst she sat in her car outside Jessica’s house and tried to calm down. He was more than content sitting at home watching repeats of Grand Designs. She loved her daughters. All four of them were strong, beautiful women and even though she may not have always agreed with their lifestyle choices they hadn’t, when she really thought about it, done anything to disappoint her. So instead of taking the first exit off the Old Street roundabout and heading home she drove completely around ignoring the sounds of a car horn as she cut in front of a Ford Focus and headed towards Notting Hill.

‘Is that it? Isn’t there anymore than that?’ Lucinda asked as Katelyn adjusted the laptop screen so her mother could see.

‘Nope, that’s it.’

‘It’s a rubbish site. The only thing that’s on it is a photograph of his arm on a mix desk. Are you sure that he’s even a real producer?’ said Lena who’d walked back into the dining room with another slice of sweet potato pudding, which she’d liberally covered with whipped cream.

‘And what sort of producer advertises on gumtree?’ Katelyn continued as she clicked on a link that went back to his website.

‘A poor one.’ Lena sniggered as she took a spoonful of pudding. ‘Auntie Lou this is the best thing that I’ve ever eaten.’

‘Thank you, sweetie,’ Lucinda replied as she clicked on the “about” section of the website, which was only four lines long.

‘You should sell it.’

‘Sell what?’

‘The pudding. Or go on the Great British Bake Off.’

‘She’s obsessed with that programme,’ Katelyn replied as she refreshed the page in the hope that something new would appear on the website.

‘Everyone watches it, Katie. It’s the best programme and auntie Lou is a great cook. My mum doesn’t cook like this. Then again I can’t remember the last time that she actually cooked.’

‘Mum, I don’t think that you should go and see this Carter man. He doesn’t even have a surname. Just Carter the producer.’

‘Who advertises on gumtree’ Lena added. Lucinda wasn’t afraid to admit that she’d been equally as dubious as her daughter and niece when Sal had called her a couple of hours ago and told her that he’d arranged a meeting with an up and coming producer called Carter.

‘I don’t want anyone who is up and coming. They won’t have a clue what to do with me,’
is what Lucinda had complained whilst Sal had sat in front of her eating his second slice of sweet potato pudding.

‘You can’t afford anyone else,’
Sal had replied bluntly.
‘And anyway, he owes me a favour.’

It was bad enough that Lucinda felt like a charity case but even worse that she was going to see someone who most likely had no interest in working with her. Things could be worse, she told herself. At least she had a roof over head and she wasn’t in such financial dire straits that she couldn’t afford to feed and clothe her children. She just had to remind herself that unlike the old days she didn’t have access to an enormous reservoir of cash, but even then the reservoir of cash was just an illusion that Paul had successfully kept up for many years. No matter how much you tried to keep up with the Jones’, the Jones’ would eventually move away. The door knocked loudly almost causing the three of them to jump out of their skins. Lucinda wasn’t expecting any visitors, now that Madeline and Owen had stopped their impromptu visits.

Lucinda walked up to the front window and slightly pulled apart the organza curtains. The sky had already transformed into a silky navy colour with only a few streaks of blue and wispy grey clouds breaking up the palette. The streetlights had turned on and they gently illuminated her mother’s face. She had the look of a woman who was being driven by unknown forces and looked surprised to find herself her standing on Lucinda’s doorstep.

‘Mum, what are you doing here?’ Lucinda said to her mother, who seemed reluctant to step over the threshold considering what had taken place just a few hours before.

‘I’ve just come from your sister’s house.’

‘Which one?’

‘Jessica. She told me…she told me some things,’ Felicia said as she suddenly found herself shaking.

‘Mum, maybe you should come in.’

‘I really don’t want to believe the things she has told me.’

‘And you shouldn’t. Look, come into the house.’

Felicia stepped into the house but stopped when she heard her grand-daughter’s laughing.

‘Lena’s here,’ said Lucinda.

‘I know,’ Felicia replied without looking at her daughter as she walked into the living room.

‘I’ll be in the kitchen,’ Lucinda replied, wondering if her mother believed what Jessica had told her considering she hadn’t even kissed or hugged her. She busied herself with putting things away and wiping down the worktops. Reece was out with Jake who was more than happy to take him to the launch party of a comic book artist he knew who’d just released his new book. Lucinda suspected that both Reece and Jake needed to escape the ridiculous levels of oestrogen that were part of their daily lives. Her phone beeped on the table, signalling that her battery was dying and that there were texts awaiting her perusal. The first was from the elusive Carter letting her know that Sal had already arranged a session for her at his studio in New Cross and that she must be there no later than 3 o’clock on Friday. She took a deep breath and told herself that it was a good thing, and then she opened the second text from Owen. She liked his text messages, which contained absolutely no text abbreviations or emoticons whatsoever. He was just saying hello and that he’d call her later once he’d finished work. Owen had called her almost every night since their
not really a date
, date
.

‘It’s hard to believe that they’re almost women now,’ Felicia said as she walked into the kitchen and closed the door firmly behind her. ‘Reminds me of you and your…’ She stopped when she realised what she about to confront her daughter about. That old taboo that you’d usually find in a soap opera but not in your own lives. Lucinda opened the doors leading out to the garden to avoid the feeling of claustrophobia and the change in atmosphere when her mother walked into the room.

‘Mum, I did not…’ She didn’t want to even say the word. To speak it would give the lunacy of Jessica’s words credibility. ‘Nothing has ever happened between Andrew and I.’

‘Why would she say that you’ve been…been having an affair. He’s your sister’s husband for crying out loud. Don’t you have any morals?’

‘Mum, I’m telling you, nothing happened.’

‘Then why is she in such a state? The child could barely stand up when I saw her.’

‘Look, if Jessica wants to drink herself into oblivion then that’s up to her. I’m not taking responsibility for that, not when I haven’t done anything wrong. Mum, you raised me better than that and even if I was to take someone else’s man, I wouldn’t touch my own sister’s. I’m not some kind of dog. I know that you’ve never thought highly of me, that I practically ruined Jessica’s and Beatrice’s lives, but I never in a million years thought that you’d think so lowly of me.’

‘I don’t think…’

‘Of course you do. Why else are you here? If you didn’t believe that there was a slightest grain of truth in what Jessica has told you then you wouldn’t be here now asking me if it was true.’

Felicia looked down at the ground, suddenly feeling the heat of shame rise through her, unable to look at Lucinda. Jessica was a mess. She’d seen that for herself but she’d learnt a long time ago that there was some truth amongst the chaos of a person’s drunken rants. She dragged a chair away from the table, not even wincing as the wood scraped against the tiles. She sat down suddenly emotionally and physically exhausted by everything that was going on around her. Most mornings when she heard Richard being sick in the bathroom she just wanted to pull the sheets back over her head. Her sister always told her that there wasn’t a textbook on anyone’s lives. Felicia had always dismissed it as nothing more than New Age ramblings of a sister who believed in the power of crystals and cupping. But it was true. At this moment, as she sat at the table, she would have killed for a chapter entitled “what to do when your husband has cancer, your daughter may be an alcoholic, and you feel that you’ve failed them all.”

She looked up gratefully as Lucinda placed a steaming cup of tea in front of her.