The Sisters (36 page)

‘Bea,’ I say gently. ‘His brother Paul has told me everything. I know about your past, about the two of you. I thought Luke was the one who broke your heart at university, but it wasn’t him, was it? It was Ben.’

She nods slowly and takes a sip of her tea. ‘It was stupid of me, letting him move into my house. But I was so happy when he got back in touch, asking to meet. Nearly eight years had passed since … since we parted and I thought I was ready to have him back in my life, as a brother. After we met up a few times I asked him to move in. I’d recently bought my house in Bear Flat and I suppose I thought it was a way for us to be together – not as husband and wife, like I thought, hoped, when we first met, but as the twins that we are.’

‘Oh, Beatrice.’ I can’t imagine the shock, the horror, the disgust, at finding out the man you think is your soul mate, the one you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with, is not only your brother, but your twin.

‘I’m sorry I accused you of stealing my bracelet,’ she says. ‘And I wanted to tell you about me and Ben so many times.’

‘I’m sorry too. For everything.’ I touch the necklace at my throat, remembering how I felt when she gave it to me that day at the Open Studio, how happy I was to have something that Beatrice had made with her own talented hands. ‘But I need to be honest: I took your yellow earring. It was silly of me, I felt compelled to take it, not that it’s any excuse. I wanted something …’ I hesitate, finding it hard to explain myself. ‘I wanted something of yours.’ I cringe at the desperation in my voice. Maybe that was why I was so attracted to Ben. ‘But it was Ben who took the sapphire bracelet and my letters, to keep us at loggerheads. I found them in the boot of his car, the day I left.’

‘I guessed that, later,’ she says. She’s still shivering. ‘Ben was terrified I was going to tell you about our past. He wanted to keep you and me apart, wanted to cause trouble between us so that I wouldn’t feel guilty about keeping our secret from you. I think he thought if we became too close I would find it hard to continue lying to you, and if I told you the truth his greatest fear would become a reality. He would lose you, and his right to a normal life.’ She smiles sadly. ‘Thank you for being honest about the earring.’

‘While we’re being honest with each other, can I ask you something?’ She nods, still cupping her hot drink, the sleeves of her dressing gown pulled over her hands. ‘Was it you I saw on the Isle of Wight that day?’

She looks shamefaced. ‘I honestly didn’t know at the time that you were there too. Ben asked if I fancied a trip to the seaside and I was so pleased that he wanted to spend some time with me, so pathetically grateful, that I said yes.’

‘You mean he followed me to Cowes?’ My mind swims at the thought.

She nods, cradling her mug. ‘It was only when I saw you on the beach that it became obvious what was going on. Ben had gone to get an ice cream.’

I stare at her, perplexed. ‘Didn’t you think it was strange? That he wanted to follow me?’

‘When I confronted him about it he said he was worried about you. That you’d been acting crazy – which at the time I thought you had – and he wanted to make sure you were okay. I believed him, I thought he was being a caring boyfriend.’

‘Did he follow me to Patricia Lipton’s house? Did he see me meet up with Callum?’

She frowns, shaking her head. ‘No, I’m not sure how he found out about Callum.’

I’m silent for a moment, shocked at the lengths Ben went to. ‘Things would have been okay, if I hadn’t got involved with Ben,’ I say with a sniff.

A tear slides down her face. ‘I was jealous of you,’ she admits. ‘After he and I got back in touch, you were the first girl that he fell for. I know that I can’t have Ben in that way, but honestly … those feelings that I had for him at university haven’t completely gone away.’ I try to hide my discomfort. ‘For him it’s very different. He sees me purely as a sister now.’ Her lips wobble as she tries to force a smile.

I reach across the table to squeeze her hand but remembering what I found out about them earlier my guts twist, and I take my hand away again and place it back in my lap.

‘I don’t think he does,’ I admit. ‘Don’t you see, Bea? The resemblance between us? He chose me because I look like you, because somewhere deep down he is still attracted to you. And the ridiculous thing is that I was attracted to you because you resemble Lucy. It’s all so fucked up.’

She makes a choking sound that might be a laugh. ‘I realized from the moment I saw your photo in the newspaper how alike we looked.’ So she had known about me before we met. I hadn’t imagined the recognition in her eyes. ‘But I didn’t think any more about it,’ she continues. ‘I assumed Ben had moved on, that he didn’t see me in that way any more …’

Slowly she begins to tell me about growing up in Edinburgh as the only child of the affluent devoutly Catholic McDows, Annabel and Edward. They told her she was adopted when she was very young and she knew that her biological parents had died in a car accident when she was a baby. The only information she had about them was their names, Helen and William Price, and that one photograph that the McDows let her keep, the one that now sits on the mantelpiece in her living room.

‘My birth parents called me Beatrice Daisy Price, but the McDows dropped the Beatrice. They thought Daisy McDow sounded better. I changed it back to Beatrice Price when I found out about Ben.’

Her adoptive parents never told her she had a twin brother. In those days the authorities found it hard to place siblings together, so separated them as babies, and Ben was adopted by Morag and Eric Jones in Glasgow. They’d decided to keep his Christian name.

Beatrice couldn’t wait to leave Scotland and go to university in England. She liked the idea of Exeter, as it was near the coast, and chose to take a degree in law, like her adopted father. There she met Luke; he was exactly her type – blond, blue-eyed and tall – and they had fun together for a while, but at the end of the first year, as they were breaking up for the holidays and talking about maybe going travelling during the summer, he finished with her, saying he wasn’t ready for anything serious. She was disappointed but not devastated, deciding to stay around Exeter with one of her friends. It was only a week later that she met Ben for the first time in a pub. He was on her campus, doing a BSc in Computer Studies, but their paths had never crossed before. ‘As soon as I saw him, it hit me,’ she says softly with tears in her eyes. ‘It was mutual attraction at first sight.’

Their affair was intense, immediate. I glance at my hands as she tells me this bit; the thought of them being in love, having sex, is still hard to hear. It turns my stomach to know they were lovers.

They were inseparable that summer, deciding to move in together once the new term began. ‘I knew he was my soul mate, he said I was his. Neither of us had ever felt that way before. We had so much in common, our birthdays were on the same day and when he told me he was adopted too, I couldn’t believe it. For once I had met someone who truly understood me.’

‘How long were you together?’

She swallows, a faraway look in her eye. ‘Three months.’

It was when her parents came to visit, at the start of the new term in October, that Beatrice found out the truth. She was so excited at the thought of Ben meeting her mum and dad that as soon as their elegant feet stepped out of their Bentley she thrust her new boyfriend at them.

‘Mum looked horrified when she saw him,’ she recalls. ‘I know now that she was seeing what we had failed to – our obvious likeness; our heart-shaped faces, upturned freckled noses and full mouths. And she knew that I had been separated from my twin brother, but had never shared this with me because she didn’t want me to be upset by it. She had her suspicions but it was the photograph that did it. I had asked her to bring it with her, you see. I wanted to show Ben. He told me his parents had also died when he was a baby and that he had a photograph that he kept in a box in his wardrobe at home in Glasgow. I should have guessed, the information we both had was identical, although I knew my parents’ real names when he didn’t. Maybe I didn’t want to see the signs.’

‘Ben recognized the photograph?’

‘Straight away. It was the one he had at home. After that Mum had to tell me what she knew, about the twin brother who I had been separated from as a baby.’ She pales, remembering. ‘Abi, it was horrific. Ben and I were stunned, of course, then disgusted, but in spite of all that we still loved each other. You can’t switch those feelings off.

‘My parents were terrified we would stay together, even though we knew the truth. I think Mum could tell that I wasn’t ready to give Ben up that easily. There was this huge row, and my parents told me I had to leave university that very day. Ben was crying, then he was furious, ranting at them, calling them liars, saying they were trying to keep us apart.’

After everything that’s happened tonight, I can imagine Ben’s rage.

Beatrice gulps, wipes her eyes and continues: ‘Anyway, my parents literally dragged me to the car. I don’t think they knew what to do, they were repulsed by the whole thing. Ben told me afterwards that he went home and told Morag everything, and she confirmed what we already knew. He finally saw that my parents weren’t lying, and stayed away from me, growing more and more disgusted at what we had done. Don’t get me wrong, I was disgusted too. But I found it hard to get over him, we had such a connection. So I went travelling, tried to get on with my life. I knew I couldn’t have him. How could I? And I was doing okay, I got a job working in a jeweller’s, my dad died leaving me a trust fund, so I moved to Bath. Bought the house, began doing it up, met Eva who said she would clean for me … I got on with things. Until I got a letter out of the blue, about six years ago, from Ben. And my life turned upside down again,’ she sighs, remembering. ‘I was in a right state, I didn’t know what to do. His letter had unearthed all the old feelings I thought I’d buried. Anyway, we met up for a coffee, got on well. He wanted us to be together again, this time as brother and sister. As twins. I wanted that too, you have to believe me, Abi. I never thought I’d fall in love with him again …’ She lets out a sob. ‘I’m so sorry …’

‘Oh, Beatrice.’ We sit in silence; there is nothing else to say.

I remember Paul’s words, how Ben is driven by money. How Paul had seen Ben reading the obituary for Beatrice’s adopted father. He knew how rich her dad was. He knew that he would have left her a lot of money. Was that the real reason he got back in touch? It sounds as though he had a different upbringing to Beatrice. Now he has the finer things in life and that’s something he would hate to relinquish. But I can’t bring myself to voice my suspicions to Beatrice; she wants to believe that he loves her, that they have a strong twin bond.

She closes her eyes. ‘Then you came along, Abi. And it all went wrong.’ When she opens her eyes again they are full of tears.

‘Does anyone else know? Pam? Cass?’

She shakes her head. ‘I’ve never told anyone. I was too ashamed. Ben never wanted to talk about it either,’ she says. ‘He was repulsed by what happened between us at uni. I knew he had a temper, I knew he could lie about things, even be manipulative at times. But what he’s done, how he hurt me … and you …’ She groans, a tear trickling down her cheek.

I push back my chair and go over to her. She falls into my arms and I hold her as her body convulses with sobs.

I wake up early the next morning after a restless few hours’ sleep full of nightmares where Ben is chasing us. I grab the quilt around my body and pad into the spare bedroom, hoping to see Beatrice sound asleep, but the bed is neatly made and the room is empty. It’s as if she’s never been here.

She’s gone back to him.

All this time I thought she was controlling him, but I was wrong. He was the one pulling the strings in their relationship. She will never leave him.

Oh, Beatrice.

The sun is trying to shine, but is half-submerged behind a black cloud. The pavements smell fresh, washed, after last night’s storm. I stand on the doorstep and ring the old-fashioned brass doorbell. Dad is sitting in the car, watching the house as though he’s a policeman on stakeout. I’ve not admitted to him what took place here last night; Dad would be the first one to contact the authorities if he knew. I’ve only told him I need to get my stuff because I’m moving out. I’m grateful for Dad’s reassuring presence, but my heart pounds against my ribcage as I wait, terrified that Ben will answer. I never want to set eyes on him again.

I’m relieved when it’s Beatrice who pokes her head around the door, looking shamefaced. She’s pale but beautiful in one of her many tea-dresses. She opens the door wider when she realizes that it’s me.

‘Bea, I can’t believe you’ve gone back to him,’ I hiss. I want to cry, knowing that she’s forgiven him, and she’ll go on forgiving him. For ever.

She bites her lip and I can see that she’s fighting back tears. ‘He’s sorry, Abi. He wants to apologize.’ From behind her I can see Ben hovering in the hallway and my palms begin to sweat. He comes over to us, wrapping his arm around Beatrice’s waist.

His hair is washed, neatly combed and he’s had a shave. He smiles and it’s like looking at a different person to the one who terrorized us last night.

‘Please come in, Abi. Ben won’t hurt you.’

‘As if I can believe that,’ I snap. ‘Have you forgotten yesterday, Bea?’ Despite my bravado my legs are trembling and I don’t move from the doorstep. I don’t look at Ben.

Ben leans forward over Bea’s shoulder. ‘Abi, please, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me yesterday. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wouldn’t have hurt you, you have to believe that. You have to …’

I look at him. He’s all chastised smiles and puppy-dog eyes. But I can see through his act now. I’ve glimpsed the monster underneath.

‘Save it,’ I say, holding up my hand. ‘I’m not interested. I only came here to check that Bea is okay, and to get my things. My dad is sitting over there,’ I turn and point to my dad’s waiting car, purring by the side of the road. ‘You wouldn’t want to mess with my dad. He was in the army years ago.’