The Songbird and the Soldier (14 page)

Sam felt like an onlooker watching at a distance, observing a young woman getting herself into something she was not prepared for. What was she doing in the middle of Birmingham, spending money that she could ill afford, to see a man that was once her boyfriend, but not anymore?

Dean’s parents had been so happy she was with him, as they had assumed she was. They had been so kind and welcoming, had made her feel one of the family even. Dean himself had seemed more genuine than ever that day. Sure, he larked about and tried it on, but he seemed to have really been pleased to see her. What if he’d been telling the truth all along? It was hard to believe that Andy could be the predatory animal he was being painted as, but it wouldn’t be the first time she had been mistaken in her choice of men. She thought of her mum and dad and had to speak to them.

Her mum answered the phone. “Sam, where are you. Are you okay?”

“I’m in Birmingham, in a small hotel a couple of miles away from the hospital. Is Humphrey with you yet?”

“Yes. He was a bit miffed at first, but your dad fed him a whole handful of those treats he likes and he’s almost forgiven us now.”

“Oh, he could string that one on forever,” Sam said, chuckling at Humphrey’s manipulative behaviour.

“So you didn’t really say before, what on earth are you doing in Birmingham?”

Sam paused before answering. She knew how it was going to look. “I had to come and see Dean,” she said.

Sam’s mum was silent.

“He’s been shot, Mum. I couldn’t not go.”

“And Andy? Is he shot too? I mean he is your boyfriend now, isn’t he?”

“It’s complicated, Mum,” Sam said.

“It sounds it.” There was an awkward pause again. “So when are you coming home?”

“Tomorrow. I’m going to see Dean first and then get the next train back home.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing, love.”

“It’ll be fine. We’re just friends. Look, I’ve got to go, Mum. I’m running short on credit. I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?”

Sam ended the call. Who was she kidding? If there was one thing she wasn’t it was ‘fine’. She had kissed him. It had not been a timid peck on the lips, but a long delicious dance with the devil. It was exciting and terrifying all at once and though racked with guilt, it left her wanting more. And Sam was under no illusion; more was definitely going to be on offer. It was going to be up to her to stop him, but when the time came, would she? Or even, should she?

With all the sounds of the city outside and the weight of the doubt on her shoulders, Sam did not manage to get much sleep that night. She almost picked up the phone at one point to talk to Kate, but the voices inside her head whispered words of caution. Kate would tell her not to go back. She would tell her not to believe him and to run home as fast as she could. But Sam was drawn to him, by whatever force was controlling her now, so she pushed it to the back of her mind and locked it away. For now, this was what she had to do.

Sam was free for the morning, so she took a cab into town and wandered around, making the most of being in a big city. As she walked among the crowd, Sam’s phone began to bleep. She checked and found a text from Kate.
Where r u?
Sam put the phone back in her pocket. A couple of minutes later it went again.
Call me.
Sam hesitated. Her fingers hovered over the buttons to call, but she fought the urge and put it back in her pocket. Again it beeped.
Don’t u dare do anything stupid.
Sam turned her phone off and found a gigantic HMV to take her mind off things.

After finding a Burger King, Sam wandered back up to the station and took a train to the University stop and asked some students for directions. She walked past the medical school and down a long hill to the hospital at the bottom. She stopped and looked at it. The day before it had seemed immense, but now, a little more at ease, she could regard it with an appreciative eye. It was beautiful really, as modern buildings go. Maybe in a few years it wouldn’t look so good, but new as it apparently was, it was shiny and clean and looked spectacular with its sweeping arc, like a wave of silver down one side.

Outside the ward, Sam checked her watch and drummed her fingers impatiently. Three minutes to go, she thought. She walked over to the window and looked out. Someone else arrived behind her and she smiled politely. They pressed the buzzer and were let in. Sam walked over and announced her arrival and the door was opened for her too.

There was laughter coming from Dean’s room as Sam approached along the corridor. She knocked and poked her head around the door. Dean beckoned her in and the other soldier noticed her and wheeled himself out, greeting her politely as he passed.

Dean looked a whole lot brighter than the day before. His hair was groomed and he was dressed now in shorts and a t-shirt. He was lying on top of his covers when Sam arrived. “You’re looking better,” she said as she walked inside the room.

“Hello Sweetheart, what a treat to see you again. I was hoping you’d come back. You didn’t travel all the way back up here again today, did you?”

Sam smiled. “No. I spent the night at the hotel your parents were staying in.”

“Just to see me?” he asked, a big grin on his face.

Sam rolled her eyes. “Well they do have a very good HMV here.” He looked gorgeous, but suddenly Sam panicked. She felt the colour drain from her face and thought she was about to be sick.

“Are you all right?” he asked. “You look as if you’re going to faint, or something. You’re not squeamish, are you? The smell in these places can get you like that.”

Sam sat down on a chair. “No. It’s not that.”

“Then what?” He paused. “You’re not up the duff, are you?”

Sam was shocked. “No!”

Dean’s eyebrows rose. “You’re sure?”

“Yes,” she said firmly.

“Good. The last thing we need is another little Garrington running around messing everything up.”

Sam looked at him.

“I’m sorry, Sam, but you have to be able to do better than him. I mean, he’s already screwed up one marriage. If you can only get a woman by stealing someone else’s then it’s a bit crap, you’ve got to admit?”

Sam felt uneasy. “Whereas you tend to have them lined up, forming an orderly queue, waiting for you.”

“Well they can wait all they like; only one woman is here with me.” He was looking straight at her, a serious expression now set on his face.

Sam blushed.

“I don’t care how he tricked you into believing I didn’t want to write, Sam. It’s not important. All that matters now is that you’re here again, with me. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you to hold on to.”

Sam found it increasingly hard to hold his gaze. “How’s your leg doing?” she asked.

“It’s a bit sore where you leant against it yesterday, but…” Dean rolled up laughing as the expression on Sam’s face fell. “It’s fine, Sam. I’m only kidding. Honestly.”

Sam got up from where she was sitting and marched over and thumped him.

“Ow!”

“That’s not funny. You deserved that,” she said.

Dean laughed. “They’re moving me out onto a four-bedded bay sometime this afternoon, so I’ll soon have witnesses to all this abuse.”

“You won’t get the chance; I’m back off home after I leave here today.”

Dean stilled. “Well then I’d better make the most of you, hadn’t I?” He pulled her slowly toward him and stopped only millimetres away. “This is the point when you are supposed to stop me, Sam.” But Sam did not say a word, only leaned in the last little bit and kissed Dean delicately on the lips. But Dean was not in the mood for delicate and he pulled her firmly up against his good side and held her there in an ardent kiss for several more minutes. Dean’s hand slipped down toward Sam’s breast and she pulled away.

“What’s wrong? I thought… You seemed…” Dean shook his head. “Tell me what you want, Sam. I’m no good at playing games. You travelled all this way up to see me and… you didn’t tell me to stop.”

Sam was a mess. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“I wonder how many other hearts you’ve broken along the way with that kiss?”

Sam looked at him. Other broken hearts? Had she broken his heart? Sam was shocked.

“What? Did you really think I cared so little?” He shook his head. “You’re one in a million, Sam, and you don’t even know it.”

A nurse knocked and walked in. “I’m very sorry, but I’m going to have to cut visiting time slightly short today. We’ve got some men arriving soon who are going to require our full attention. We’re going to have to shuffle round a few rooms. I’m sure you understand.” She smiled apologetically and a moment later Sam heard the same two knocks on another door and the sound of sirens in the distance. She looked at Dean. He shrugged.

“I’d better be off then,” she said and picked up her bag from the floor beside her chair. Dean looked sad as she went to leave. Sam held his hand and squeezed it. “I’ll see you soon, soldier,” she said and walked out of the ward and back up to the station on the hill, with a convoy of three ambulances passing her on the way.

The train journey back home was a moment of calm for Sam. The steady rhythm of endless miles of scenery floating past let her empty her mind of all her troubles and forget about things for a while.

Back home she was faced with a decision: collect Humphrey and face her mum, or stay by herself again and put off the evil hour until the morning. Sam had no wish to talk.

On the doormat lay a letter from Andy. She reached for the emotion she usually felt when a long blue envelope arrived on her mat, but all she felt was guilt. Sam unpacked her bag and made herself a cup of tea and some toast with Marmite and took the letter into the living room to sit down. Then, tentatively, almost afraid of the words it might convey, Sam opened the letter.

That was it. She checked the date. It must have been written about the time Dean was shot. A large expanse of empty blue paper stretched out before her. Sam did not know what to think. Was Andy actually apologising for Dean being injured? Had it really been his fault? And if so, had Dean actually been telling the truth all along? It had all gone on too long. Sam decided it was time to bite the bullet. So, weary as she was, she got out a bluey and wrote straight back.

She read it back. It
was
all over the place, but then so was her head. Hard as it might be, she had to send it. At least this way she would know, one way or the other, where she stood.

She rang her mum and arranged to pick up Humphrey in the morning and settled herself down to watch some mindless TV.

Days ticked by with no word from either of them. Sam thought Dean might have called from his hospital bed and although she prayed for the letter to arrive from Andy that would answer all her fears and put her mind to rest, none came. Sam felt as if she was floating through a kind of limbo. She should have been enjoying her holiday, away from the work and the kids, but instead she was frustrated and tattered. Every drop of a letter on the mat, every phone ring, every knock at the door had her jumping in her skin.

A fortnight later, Sam was round at Kate’s. Kate was not enjoying the first stage of pregnancy and was in full morning sickness mode. On the plus side, her mum had just about come round to the idea of a new baby in the house and the tension between the two of them of the past few weeks had settled. Kate was feeling grim and the weather outside was dull and grey. She had propped herself up against the open window to get a bit of fresh air when a car pulled up next door and Dean got out. “Hello, hello. What have we got here?” she muttered, turning to look across at Sam.

Sam got up from the bed where she was lounging and wandered over to see what was going on. She followed Kate’s gaze and looked down.

“It’s lover-boy back, complete with crutches and heroic limp.”

Sam had heard nothing from Andy since she had confronted him in her last letter. She was starting to think that that was it for them. Surely Andy’s silence on the matter was as good as an admission of guilt? She suspected so. Sam stood behind Kate and watched as Dean moved slowly up the drive. He looked up and smiled. “Hello, Gorgeous,” he said. Mr Fletcher looked up and greeted the girls too.

“Are you two my welcoming committee?” Dean asked.

“You wish. I live here, remember,” Kate said.

Dean looked straight at Sam.

“Oh, her.” She moved out of the way, back from the window and Sam stepped forward. From behind Sam, Dean could hear, “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?” Sam looked back and threw a cushion at her friend, then turned back to Dean to see him rolling his eyes in amusement.

“Thank you, Katy!” he called out and winked. Then he walked inside.

Sam sat down again, on the beanbag this time as Kate had stretched herself out across the bed. She sighed.

Kate looked at her carefully for a minute. “Oh go and see him then if you want. You’re no bloody good to me like this anyway.”

Sam shifted on the beanbag. “I can’t just go round there. Besides, he’s only just got home.”

Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang and Kate’s mum made a big fuss of him, calling the girls down to see him.

“Hello, Katy. How’s the bump?”

“You know?” she said.

“I think the whole of Afghan knows by now; he doesn’t stop bloody talking about it.”

For once, Kate really did glow.

“And what about you, Gorgeous? How have you been?”

“I’m fine, thanks. How are you? You’re looking good.”

Dean smiled.

“I mean well. You’re looking well.” She blushed furiously.

“Yes. I am. I’ve got a lot of exercises to do every day and a bit of walking. In fact, would you mind coming for a walk with me now… if Katy doesn’t mind?”

“Take her,” Kate said. “She’s all yours. Mad cow would only sulk if she didn’t anyway.”

“Kate!”

“Good. We’ll see you in a bit then.”

“Don’t keep her out too late,” Kate called after them.

To Sam, everything seemed to have changed. The Dean that had gone off to war was a completely different man from the one who had come home. He was attentive, considerate, and romance blossomed. Sam had no reason to doubt him. As the weeks went delightfully on with no further word from Andy, Sam began to realise she was falling slowly back in love with Dean.

Sam spent a lot of her time round at Dean’s house, staying for meals with his parents and becoming, to all intents and purposes, one of the family. The experience she had shared with his mum and dad seemed to have given them a bond they appreciated. But Sam’s parents were still struggling to understand how her heart had been changed so drastically and whether this man, charming as he was, was really the right one for their daughter. Unfortunately the tension between Sam and her parents rippled under the surface and festered over the summer, unwittingly driving her closer to Dean.

Before she knew it, the school term had started again and Sam was thrust back into normal life. Lesson planning and spelling tests returned to fill her days, and soon after, Dean got a date for his rehabilitation.

Chloe, who had been notable by her absence of late, called her when Sam was round at Dean’s one night. She wanted to invite Sam out singing. “I’m sorry, Chlo, I can’t,” she said, “Dean’s taking me out to dinner on Thursday night.” Sam smiled across at Dean, playing snooker with his dad in the back room.