The Space In Between (24 page)

I MET HIM at the airport. He rushed
over to me to make sure I was all right. I wasn’t. I felt used, foolish. But I
wouldn’t let him know that. After he saw me broken last night, I promised
myself not to let him see me in that light ever again. I would stand strong.
After a delayed flight, we finally boarded the plane, with not much time to
spare. I ignored him the whole flight back to Wisconsin. Even he couldn’t be
dumb enough to try to talk to me. I noticed his eyebrows frowning, and his
hollow cheeks, but didn’t care one bit.

When we got back to Michelle’s family’s mansion, the house
was already being set up for the party. Red and green decorations were draped
throughout the house. The caterers were preparing the food, and the party
planners were rushing around like madmen, finishing up the last details. I only
had about fifteen minutes to get ready before our main dance, and I was a hot
mess.

Walking into the living room, I saw Ms. Jacobson, Mrs.
Rivers, and Eric comforting my mother, who was in hysterics. Daddy was sitting
on the couch and looked shell-shocked.

“Mom, what’s the matter?” When she looked up at me, I knew
what she had learned. My eyes shot over to Eric. “You told her.”

“No,” he assured me. “You just did.”

My mom was holding magazines in her hands and threw them at
my feet. I bent down and saw the other magazines. My heart was breaking all
over again. “I sure hope you know who this Cooper Davidson really is!”

She ran off crying, and Daddy and Eric raced after her. The
two gossip queens followed after them, but I was pretty sure it was only to
collect more details to share at their book club.

I STOOD SMOOTHING out my Victorian
dress in the mirror when I heard his southern voice behind me. “We should
talk,” he said.

“I’m busy.”

“I can explain.”

Turning towards him, I locked into his green eyes. I was
stern with my next words, because the answer to them would determine every
action I made after. “Did you know? About the pictures? About the magazines?”

Silence.

My heart sank.

He knew.

I turned away from him, unable to look at the person who I
had given so much of myself to over the past weeks. I gave him
everything.

“Andie…” he whispered. I could hear him coming closer and I
sharply turned around.

“Don’t call me that! What the hell do you want, Cooper? You
want me to act like we are now some couple falling deeply in love?” I shouted.
I couldn’t believe he even had the nerve to walk into my room right now. My
hands formed fists, with my nails digging deep into my flesh.

He lowered his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

I rolled my eyes, tossing my hands up in frustration. “Let’s
stop acting like we are normal. Like
this
is normal. The first night we
met, we fucked. The first few weeks all we did was have sex with each other.”

Shaking his head, he stepped closer. I stepped back. “You’re
going backwards.”

“I’m telling you the facts.” I bent down to start putting on
my shoes and cringed when I heard him use my nickname again.

“Andie, please.”

“DO NOT CALL ME THAT!” I screamed. Every ounce of me was
boiling. I could feel my insides twisting, my stomach feeling sick.

He looked at me as if I were a stranger, and let’s face it,
I pretty much was. His voice lowered in tone. “You need to get a clue. Figure
something out because you are acting crazy.”

I couldn’t believe him. He was really trying to push me to
the edge. My mother was sitting in the other room crying her eyes out because
of him, thinking I was a whore of a child. Daddy was probably having a
mini-heart attack thinking about his baby girl and what she’d done in New York
City. And then he had the nerve to call
me
crazy? “You think I'm crazy?”
I picked up my shoe and threw it at him as hard as I could. I cringed, watching
him dodge it. So of course I threw my other shoe, harder. “You think I'm a
lunatic? You were the one in the fucking mental hospital, not me!” I turned
away from him before I saw his reaction. I knew it probably stung him, because
after it came out of my mouth, it stung me.

“Who told you?”

Walking over to my desk, I tossed the magazines my mom gave
me onto the floor in front of Cooper. As he bent down and picked them up, he
shook his head back and forth.

The title on one read,
"Iris Davidson speaks out:
Cooper abandoned his family and takes trip to loony bin."

Another title read,
"Cooper Davidson addicted to
prostitution, three different women tell their sides of the story."

And another:
“Cooper Davidson violent anger rages on as
Iris shares her side.”

He tossed the magazines on the bed and turned towards me. A
firm look took over his eyes—a look I had never witnessed before on him. “Yeah.
I'm sure you learned a lot about me from those tabloids. I bet you feel like
you know who I am now.”

“No. I don't. I don't know anything about you. Let’s face it
though. You don't know anything about yourself either. You don't talk about
Iris because it makes it real. Reality check, Cooper—it's real. And the kid you
abandoned is real too. I can’t believe I believed you when you said it wasn’t
your kid. Deal with your fucking issues.”

“You want me to deal with
my
issues? God forbid
something reminds you of your dead fiancé!”

I was beyond pissed now. How dare he bring Derrick into
this. “Fuck you!” I screamed.

“You already did!”

I couldn’t believe he’d said that. And from the look in his
eyes, he could hardly believe it either. “I hate you,” I whispered as I shoved
him hard in his shoulder. I shoved him again, and again…“I hate you! I HATE
YOU!” I felt his hands wrap around my wrists as I kept pushing him. “Let me go,
let me go
!” I screamed, fighting the tears that were begging to fall. I
wouldn’t let them. I couldn’t let them.

 His eyes moved to his hands around my wrists and he
instantly dropped them and turned away from me, running his hands over his
face. “God dammit, Iris! Will you listen for one fucking second?!”

I paused as he turned back to me and I stared into his eyes.
“My name is Andrea.”

His body shifted as his eyebrows frowned, recognizing his
mistake. “I know that.”

My body began to tremble. I could hardly hold myself up, but
I did my best not to show it. “You just called me Iris. See? This isn't real.
You and me. We are two screwed up people trying to get over those who screwed
up our minds.”

“Stop,” he begged. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.

“Your mom tried to fix your dad and look how that worked out
for her. Stop following in her footsteps. Stop trying to fix other people…”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your plan, Cooper. To try to fix people who are terribly
broken. Iris messed up your first plan. She was too damaged for you to fix. So
I'm your second choice.”

“That's not it.”

“Then what is it, Cooper? What happens when I mess up your
plans? Do you run off and get a third?” He didn’t answer right away. His face
fell to the ground and he rubbed his hands across his mouth, annoyed by my
questions.

“Andrea.”

 “But the truth is, you're my second choice. If Derrick were
here...”

 “He's not. He's dead Andrea. Derrick is gone.” He looked at
me in the most sincere fashion, but his words bit me. His words slapped me. His
words almost fucking slaughtered me.

“Stop it.” I softly spoke. The trembling was getting worse.
Crap.

“You're living in a lonely place. And it’s dark and scary.
And whenever you get
close
to moving on you panic and run back into your
shell. And the truth of the matter is you don’t even know who Derrick really
was.”

“Don’t you dare talk about him!” How could he say that? How
could he speak about the one person who loved me?

“He cheated on you, Andrea,” he said quietly. So quiet that
I almost missed the words.

What a sick bastard. I couldn’t believe he would stoop that
low. “Get out!”

His face dropped and he realized what he’d said. “I’m
sorry…”

“You’re disgusting. You were so desperate that you actually
paid someone to spend fifteen minutes with you in a dirty club.” I wanted to
make him hurt the way he’d attacked me with his words.

“Don’t do this,” he begged, his concentrated eyes glossing
over with water.

I had to. “You are so pathetic that you found the need to
sleep with someone from the strip club. You’re a fucking creep.”

He tossed his hands up in defeat. “What do you want from me?
You want me to yell at you? Is that what you want?” He raised his voice to a
level that was somewhat frightening. “You want me to
fucking yell
?! You
want me to tell you that you were, in fact, the whore I paid to spend fifteen
minutes with?”

“You should leave. Really. Whatever this was was fun. But
it's over.”

“So that's it?” I remained silent when he asked. “What’s
going on in your head, Andrea?”

“I took a pregnancy test in New York.” His eyes widened and
pure shock washed over him. My insides twisted tighter. I knew what I was about
to say would make him leave forever. “It was negative. And you know how I felt?
Happy. Because I would never want someone to have such an asshole as their
father. You would make a terrible parent. And you would walk out on us just
like you did Iris and your daughter.”

All color was drained from him. He was silent for a moment
before he nodded his head in understanding. Sliding his hands into his pockets,
he rocked back and forth. The same way he rocked the first night I met him in
the club… “Maybe you're right. Maybe we are two people trying to make something
work when, in all honesty, it just isn't there. “

He turned to leave and looked towards the magazine covers
one last time. “And for the record, I would never abandon my child. It's kind
of hard to abandon something that was never yours. Tell your tabloids to get
their shitty facts straight.”

And with that, he was gone. My body continued to shake, but
I turned to face the mirror, ran my hands across the back of my neck, and went
back to smoothing out my dress.

I had a party to get to.