The Spoilers (35 page)

“No, boy—I think not.”

“I believe I understand,” he murmured; “and perhaps it's better so.” He took her two soft hands in his one good right and kissed them. “God bless you and keep you, dear, brave little Cherry.”

She stood straight and still as he melted into the shadows, and only the moonlight heard her pitiful sob and her hopeless whisper:

“Good-bye, my boy, my boy.”

He wandered down beside the sea, for his battle was not yet won, and until he was surer of himself he could not endure the ribaldry and rejoicing of his fellows. A welcome lay waiting for him in every public place, but no one there could know the mockery of it, no one could gauge the desolation that was his.

The sand, wet, packed, and hard as a pavement, gave no sound to his careless steps; and thus it was that he came silently upon the one woman as she stood beside the silver surf. Had he seen her first he would have slunk past in the landward shadows; but, recognizing his tall form, she called and he came, while it seemed that his lungs grew suddenly constricted, as though bound about with steel hoops. The very pleasure of her sight pained him. He advanced eagerly, and yet with hesitation, standing stiffly aloof while his heart fluttered and his tongue grew dumb. At last she saw his bandages and her manner changed abruptly. Coming closer she touched them with caressing fingers.

“It's nothing—nothing at all,” he said, while his voice jumped out of all control. “When are you—going away?”

“I do not know—not for some time.”

He had supposed she would go to-morrow with her uncle and—the other, to be with them through their travail.

With warm impetuosity she began: “It was a noble thing you did to-day. Oh, I am glad and proud.”

“I prefer you to think of me in that way, rather than as the wild beast you saw this morning, for I was mad, perfectly mad with hatred and revenge, and every wild impulse that comes to a defeated man. You see, I had played and lost, played and lost, again and again, till there was nothing left. What mischance brought you there? It was a terribly brutal thing, but you can't understand.”

“But I
can
understand. I do. I know all about it now. I know the wild rage of desperation; I know the exultation of victory; I know what hate and fear are now. You told me once that the wilderness had made you a savage, and I laughed at it just as I did when you said that my contact with big things would teach me the truth, that we're all alike, and that those motives are in us all. I see now that you were right and I was very simple. I learned a great deal last night.”

“I have learned much also,” said he. “I wish you might teach me more.”

“I—I—don't think I could teach you any more,” she hesitated.

He moved as though to speak, but held back and tore his eyes away from her.

“Well,” she inquired, gazing at him covertly.

“Once, a long time ago, I read a Lover's Petition, and ever since knowing you I have made the constant prayer that I might be given the purity to be worthy the good in you, and that you might be granted the patience to reach the good in me—but it's no use. But at least I'm glad we have met on common ground, as it were, and that you understand, in a measure. The prayer could not be answered; but through it I have found myself and—I have known you. That last is worth more than a king's ransom to me. It is a holy thing which I shall reverence always, and when you go you will leave me lonely except for its remembrance.”

“But I am not going,” she said. “That is—unless—”

Something in her voice swept his gaze back from the shimmering causeway that rippled seaward to the rising moon. It brought the breath into his throat, and he shook as though seized by a great fear.

“Unless—what?”

“Unless you want me to”

“Oh, God! don't play with me!” He flung out his hand as though to stop her while his voice died out to a supplicating hoarseness. “I can't stand that.”

“Don't you see? Won't you see?” she asked. “I was waiting here for the courage to go to you since you have made it so very hard for me—my pagan.” With which she came close to him, looking upward into his face, smiling a little, shrinking a little, yielding yet withholding, while the moonlight made of her eyes two bottomless, boundless pools, dark with love, and brimming with the promise of his dreams.

THE END