The Staircase (12 page)

"Delvina, Delvina, child. How did you have this baby by yourself? And when?"

"Last night," she said in a gentle voice tinged with tiredness. "But I was not alone. Lozen was here. She helped me."

"Lozen! Oh, I wish I had seen her. How good of her. And when did she leave?"

"She stayed the night with me. She fetched water, made a fire. See? There are the remains." She pointed, and sure enough, the charred remains of a wood fire sat nearby.

Then she noticed me. "Ah, this is the
muchachita bonita
who comes with you every day to visit Robert's grave, is she not?"

"Yes, this is Lizzy Enders."

"Hello, Lizzy, how are you?"

"How are
your
" I asked. "You need help. Sister Roberta at the school wanted me to ask you when you expected your lying-in."

"Tell Sister Roberta it came sooner than expected."

"I've brought blankets. Here." I spread them over her. "But you and the baby need to get into someplace proper and warm. Sister Roberta wants you to come to the convent. She said they have a place for you."

"Oh, I don't know. It wouldn't be safe."

"It's safer than here."

"For everyone in the convent, I mean. If my husband finds out I'm there, there's no telling what evil he'll try to do."

"The Bishop is back," I told her. I thought of the Bishop's strong, distinguished face, of his no-nonsense manner. "He
won't let any harm come to anyone. You must come today!" I appealed to Mrs. Lacey. "Please!"

"Lizzy is right. And she is going to get on her horse right now and ride back and have a wagon brought for you and the child. Aren't you, Lizzy?"

I got up. "Yes."

Delvina lay back on the blankets. "I'm afraid I'm not as strong as I thought," she said. "I don't feel well. So all I can hope is that the nuns will find a place for my baby."

I was already running across the ground toward Ben. "I'll be back very soon," I yelled over my shoulder.

BLACK SHADOWS ALREADY LAY
in the lee of adobe walls as I rode Ben back through town. It was against the law to race your mount in the street. I had been told that by Mother Magdalena. Weariness sat on my shoulders and on top of my head as I walked Ben as fast as I could. I thought about the other law Sister Roberta had told me about the day she told me to keep her apprised of Delvina's condition.

"Midwives must be licensed in Santa Fe. And that license must be granted by a municipal judge. Also, they must have a certificate from their parish priest that says they know how to administer baptism. That's why we must get her back here. She must have a proper midwife."

I giggled, wondering if Lozen would be considered licensed.

Then I frowned, worrying about the baby. I hadn't even asked if it was a boy or girl. And suppose it died before we got it back to the convent? It would end up in Limbo. And I would be blamed. I should have brought it along with me and not left it in the cold. But then I wouldn't be able to manage Ben so well.

Maybe I or Mrs. Lacey should have baptized the baby. Was it possible for a heretic to do so? Oh, I was so tired and confused! I'd been on the run since early this morning, I'd scarce slept last night, and my head buzzed with weariness. I rode past the plaza. The last of the merchants were packing up their wares. Some Indians from nearby pueblos, who also came to sell, had wrapped themselves in blankets to guard the meat they would leave hanging overnight in the cold. It hung on ropes suspended from the portal of the Governor's Palace. I knew those shapes were venison, turkey, and even bear. But they took on a dark, menacing appearance.

I passed the U.S. Army quartermaster's depot, two blocks from the convent. "We're almost there, Ben," I said.

When I got inside the gates of the school, the first person I saw was Gregorio. I was so glad to see him that I slipped off Ben, nearly fell, and he came to help me up.

"
Muchachita,
what has happened? Where is Mrs. Lacey?"

I was unsteady on my feet and held on to Ben as I blurted out my story. Then I collapsed.

Gregorio carried me inside. I protested, but he would not listen. In through the kitchen, where he shouted for his wife. "Bring her to the nuns. Get Bishop Lamy from his supper!"

In the next minute the whole place became alive with mayhem. Ramona sat me at the table and sent a servant for Mother Magdalena and the Bishop. Both came into the kitchen and I told my story again. Bishop Lamy didn't shillyshally. He ordered Gregorio to get out the wagon and go and fetch home Mrs. Lacey, the baby, and Delvina. Sister Roberta was to go with him. She ran for some remedies.

"I want to go, too, please," I begged. "They won't know whereto find them."

"They know where the fort is," Bishop Lamy spoke kindly
but firmly. "And the deserted building. That woman Delvina should have been brought here sooner." He turned to Mother Magdalena.

"You know who her husband is, Your Eminence," she said. "I couldn't endanger my girls."

"This is my church," he said. "And my school and convent. It is a safe house. A place of asylum." Then he stopped himself. If he was going to have a difference of opinion with Mother Magdalena, he would save it until later. He looked at me. "This child is exhausted," he said.

"She went with Sister Roberta this afternoon to pick herbs." It was Elinora. All the girls who boarded were in the kitchen now, too. It was supper hour, and they'd come in from the student dining room to see what the fuss was about.

"I told you, Elinora," the Bishop said, "that you were to keep silent the rest of this day, did I not?"

Elinora flushed, sniffed, and went back to the dining room. Apparently she and her uncle had had their little "talk." She did not look at all happy.

"Who delivered the baby?" the Bishop then asked me.

I had hoped nobody would ask. But he was smart, this bishop. I looked up at him mutely, hoping he would not insist. He saw something in my face, I suppose.

"Tell me, child."

I knew everyone was staring at me, but felt only the eyes of the Bishop, pulling the truth out of me like a bad tooth. "She said Lozen," I told him.

He showed no surprise. He did not ask who Lozen was. Others did. "Who? Who?" The question went around the room until the Bishop held up his hand to silence everyone.

"Feed this child," he then told Ramona. "Some of that
good
sopa de vermiale,
then see that she has a hot bath and is put to bed in the guest room. Make sure she is all right. Call me if she isn't."

He nodded and smiled at me encouragingly. And I knew then that he knew about Lozen. I did not have to explain. He turned and left the room.

Everyone went back to their business. I ate the
sopa de vermiale,
which was vermicelli soup and very delicious. I was about starved. Then Ramona took me upstairs to the guest room. I'd never seen it before. It had a highpost bed. One of Gregorio's assistants soon had a roaring fire in the hearth. Another servant filled a copper tub with hot water. I took a hot bath while Ramona went to fetch my nightgown and my clothes for the morning. I took the bath without my chemise and pantalets on and enjoyed the sensuous sudsy hot water into which Ramona had put some lavender. She came back and washed my hair, pouring more hot water over it. Then, while I sat in front of the fire in my nightdress, she dried my hair with a towel and brushed it until I was drowsy. Then she pulled back the quilt on the feather bed, left a lighted candle, and said she would be back.

I lay in the feather bed, feeling as if I were in Mama's arms, watching the flickering shadows from the candlelight on the whitewashed walls. In a wall crevice was the Virgin, the snake under her feet. I was so weary her face looked like Mama's. I tried to stay awake, to listen for the sound of the wagon outside when they came back with Mrs. Lacey and Delvina and the baby. But I was a weak-spined sissy-boots. And I fell asleep.

WHEN I AWOKE
the next morning, it was to the smell of coffee as I lay in a feather bed in a room with a crackling fire and no Elinora to badger me. I thought I was in heaven.

There stood one of Ramona's helpers, a girl they called Carlotta, with a tray of food. I sat up, embarrassed. "Oh, I must get up, "I said.

"You stay in bed." Firmly she put the tray down in front of me, then smiled. "Mother Magdalena say so."

"Mother Magdalena?"

"
Si.
" She drew open the curtains to let in the sun.

"But it's late. I must go to class."

"Is Saturday," she told me.

Saturday.
I decided that I would eat the delicious breakfast, then go to see Mrs. Lacey. I set myself to the task. Breakfast in bed! Never in my life had I had such a luxury! And sent by Mother Magdalena!

Bishop Lamy and she must have talked, and this was by way of making up for her treatment of me. Either that or she was simply following Bishop Lamy's orders. No matter. The
breakfast was delicious. I languished in the treatment and my mood lifted. This day I would finally write to my uncle William. And Cassie. Dear Cassie! Over a week here, and I hadn't written yet. She must think me dead.

Then I heard some hammering in the distance, from the other side of the wall, where the chapel must be.
Oh!
I jumped out of bed.
The beggar man must be working' I must go see!
But first I had to wash, dress, visit Mrs. Lacey, and feed Ben. I had so much to do!

As I slipped my dress over my head, I remembered that last night was the final night of the novena to Saint Joseph. And I hadn't attended the services.

I went downstairs. The place was quiet except for the sound of hammering from the chapel. The first people I ran into were Elinora and the other boarding girls.

They were talking in the hallway, voices low. They were gathered around Elinora in a very protective way. Something was wrong.

"Well, I hope you're happy," Rosalyn said.

"About what?"

"You got to sleep in the best guest room," said Consuello.

"And you've got that old carpenter in there hammering away. That old beggar man. How is Saint Joseph supposed to do his miracle for us now, with that stinking old man in there making a mess?" Consuello asked.

"The Bishop hired him," I said.

"Don't you understand?" Consuello put her face close to mine. "We're all waiting to see what Saint Joseph will do. How can he do anything now when he thinks we have the problem solved?"

"I'm sure Saint Joseph knows better," I told her.

She threw her hands up in dismay. "That's how much you know! Saint Joseph will think we have no faith in him!"

"Because we let a beggar man have work?" I asked.

"Would you help a bunch of people who have a novena to ask for your help, who then go and say, 'Never mind. We've found somebody, we don't need you'?" Now it was Winona who put the question to me.

"We're on our way to the Bishop's farm. We told him before he left this morning that we had important matters to discuss," Lucy put in. "We are invited to lunch. At lunch we will ask him to stop that man from his building."

I gasped. "But you can't do that!"

"I'd like to know why not," Lucy said. "Elinora's uncle will see the reasoning of our argument. He is most devoted to Saint Joseph himself. That beggar man will be out of here by tonight. You'll see."

Something was amiss. Why was Elinora not flinging accusations at me? Why was she standing there, eyes downcast? Why did Winona have a protective arm around her shoulder?

"What's wrong with Elinora?" I asked.

Consuello sighed wearily. "Of course, you wouldn't know. Since you were so busy being pampered last night." She brushed some hair away from Elinora's face with all the tenderness of a mother. "Elinora has a calling."

I just stared.

"You see how much you don't understand?" Consuello snapped.

"No, no," Elinora said in a gentle, begging tone. "She isn't of the Faith. How could she?"

"A calling. To become a nun," Consuello spoke the words carefully, as if to a child. "She wants to take vows."

"And marry Jesus," Lucy added. "Isn't it thrilling?"

"Don't you understand?" Winona asked.

I studied Elinora through narrowed eyes. I thought she had a deceptive cast to her. I understood, all right. I understood that her "calling" was a fancy bit of acting to put herself back in her uncle's good graces. And that she would use it to get rid of the beggar-man carpenter so they could sit around sucking their thumbs and waiting for their miracle.

I understood that if the Bishop believed her about having a calling, he might let the carpenter go. But I composed myself. "Well, have a nice lunch," I said.

Consuello turned, a sly smile on her face. "You had your night of pampering in the best guest room. That's only because the Bishop thought you were sick. He can't have sickness here. But don't think for one minute that you're his pet."

"I'm not anybody's pet," I said. "I don't want to be. Neither do I want to sit around and wait for some stupid miracle when we have a perfectly good carpenter in there building the staircase right now."

"We're going to tell the Bishop your sentiments," Winona promised. "He'll hear what you said. And he'll hear what Elinora has to tell him about her calling. Come along, girls. Gregorio is waiting with the wagon."

I DECIDED NOT TO
tell Mrs. Lacey that the carpenter might be dismissed. It would distress her so. Her room was on the bottom floor so she did not have to climb stairs. It was commodious and filled with her favorite pieces of furniture, rugs,
candlesticks, and mementos. They had already brought her breakfast. Sunlight flooded the room, which looked out on the courtyard. She was in a chair, leaning her head against a pillow. I could smell the heated hops inside it.

"You've got your neuralgia back," I said.

"Oh, my dear, I've had a terrible night. The pain! It must have been the night air."

"Mrs. Lacey, I wanted to go back for you. They wouldn't let me."

"I should think not! They tell me you collapsed from exhaustion!"

"Yes, and I'm so ashamed! I never fainted in my life. I feel like such a sissy-boots. I tried to stay awake until you came back last night, but I couldn't even do that."