The Sterling Boys (18 page)

RAIN

Two incredible days have passed since Dane asked me to move in. I'm surprised I didn't do something incredibly embarrassing like squeal or dance around like a fool.

"Have you read Dane's interview?" Tria asks as she goes for a cup of coffee.

It's weird how comfortable we've suddenly gotten with each other. Dane's explanation of their friendship squashed the last of my reservations about her.

"They've already printed it? She just interviewed him yesterday morning," I murmur, reaching for the paper beside her.

"I haven't read it yet, but Mom said there was a lot about you in it," she sings.

My stomach flutters as I start flipping the pages, eager to find out what all he's said. When my eyes land on his interview, I almost go completely stiff with suspense.

Most of the questions are directed toward the clinic and all of its awesomeness, but the longer the interview, the more personal it gets.

Lisa:
Is it true you're dating Rain Noles?

Dane:
Actually, we're living together now, so I consider it to be more serious than just dating.

Yep. I love the hell out of him. I can picture her pouting when Dane squashed her with that answer. The girl was drooling all over him at the clinic opening.

Lisa:
Is it true the two of you dated but broke up in high school?

Dane:
No. Rain and I were only ever friends when we were kids. Now we're making up for lost time.

Lisa:
Is another one of Sterling Shore's sexiest bachelors about to be off the market for good?

I'm almost too scared to read his answer. And I really want to go smack that bitch for this interrogation.

Dane:
I've been off the market since the day I met Rain Noles.

I blame the shoddy craftsmanship of today's carpenters when I fall off the stool, because I refuse to admit that his answer shocked me that much.

As I thud to the ground, causing a chain reaction of the other two stools to fall, Tria screeches and jumps to avoid getting slammed into. I curse the stupid stool before kicking it, and I grab the newspaper back.

"What the hell just happened?" Tria gasps, grabbing her heart.

I ignore her and continue reading.

Lisa:
So Dane Sterling has been tamed. She's a lucky girl. I never thought I'd see the day when you were saddled. But then again, Tag Masters beat you to it and even became a father.

Dane:
I was surprised by that, too, but Tag is an amazing dad and husband.

Lisa:
What about you? Any children on the horizon?

I shouldn't read this. I haven't talked to Dane about my surgery yet, so no matter what his answer is... Well, I need to talk to him and stop reading.

The things we should do and the things we actually do are always very different.

Dane:
I'd love nothing more than to have a houseful of children. That's actually something I've given a lot of thought to for the past few years.

No dream on the face of the earth has ever died quicker than mine does in this moment. He doesn't just want children; he wants a
houseful
. He wants the ideal family that I can't give him.

"Rain, what's wrong? You look sick," Tria prompts.

I slide the paper over, unable to form words. He wants a houseful of children. His dream is a large family. Fate couldn't be crueler than it's being in this moment.

Tria starts skimming the article and shaking her head, narrowing her eyes as she searches for the bomb that just decimated my world.

"It all sounds good," she says, confused, her eyes still on the article as she continues to read. I don't respond, and when her face falls and pity washes over her eyes, I know I don't have to explain.

She looks up, dropping the paper onto the counter, and then she gives me a sad effort at an encouraging smile.

"Rain, he doesn't know. He would—"

"Give up his chance to have children to be with me, and then resent me later on in life. Just like Edward did with Eleanor."

"Rain, no. Dane would never be like Dad. Don't even think that. He loves you. You love him, Rain. You can't leave if you love him."

I stare at my hands, gazing at them as though they have the answers to the universe. I woke up high on life, but as always, life has a way of stealing everything good from me.

"Tria, I've loved Dane since I was thirteen. It took me eleven years to get him this way. As much as I want to stay, as much as I want to be here to love him... Well, I can't do this to him. My world fell away when they told me I couldn't have children. I can't watch Dane's face when he learns how truly fucked my body is. And I don't want him staying with me for all the wrong reasons. You don't understand. I'm not doing this because I don't love him, I've got to do this because I do love him."

A tear falls from her eye, and she shakes her head. "No, Rain. It's stupid and it's not fair. You shouldn't have to give him up. You don't have to give him up."

I fight hard to restrain my own tears. "It's not fair, but for a few weeks, I've had a love that most people never have in a lifetime. Maybe that was life's way of apologizing for all it has taken."

I look away when a sob escapes me, and Tria's arms close around me as I cry. "Don't, Rain. Don't give him up."

If I was a selfish person, I would keep him. I'd never let him go. But I'm not a selfish person. And I've gone through enough shit to be strong enough to let him go. It'll hurt like hell, and I'll need a lot of alcohol, but I'll get through it. Maybe.

DANE

"So... tomorrow?" Maverick asks slowly, possibly trying to see if I'm nervous enough to back out.

"Yeah. She doesn't know about the party. It'll be the perfect birthday present, and then I'll propose to her in front of everyone."

"That's a little risky, isn't it? What if she says no?"

"She won't," I say with a confident smile.

Rain means more to me than I even imagined she could. I've never woken up happier than I do every day that she's with me. No one has ever loved me the way she does, and I never want to lose it.

She came willingly when I wanted us to move in together, and I had to bump up the party schedule just so I could ask her to marry me. It's impossible not to ask her every time she gives me that look no one else ever gets to see. It's a look reserved for only me—to make me feel as though I could conquer the world.

"Fine," Maverick groans as we roll up to my house. "Don't worry about making sure the party is ready. The guys and I will handle it—well, not Kode. He doesn't want to be around when you ask her to marry you. He's not mad, just... well, you understand."

I nod slowly, pursing my lips as I stare at my house. I want to ask her to marry me right now. It'll be torture to wait one more day.

"Tria and Rain have been getting closer. And we're already taking care of Pete. Think we should adopt her in?" Maverick asks unsurely, staring at Tria's car in the driveway.

"I assumed we already had."

"She's still skittish around us. I tried asking her to hang out with Corbin and me yesterday, and she turned white, like she was terrified."

I laugh unintentionally, and Maverick looks at me expectantly.

"Sorry," I say through my chuckles, "but it probably sounded like a setup to her. You'll just have to ease into a friendship with her."

"Sounds like too much work. It's not like I'm dying to be friends with her. I just want to make Rain happy, so I thought it'd be good to extend a truce to her sister."

"You sure you don't just want another wing woman to hook you up when you've burned bridges all over town?" I joke.

"Dane, please. I'm a damn fine Sterling. I can still get any woman I want if I work at it. I just happen to tell the girls the truth about what they'll be getting instead of filling their heads with the bullshit some guys do."

I laugh softly while shaking my head. He's crude with women, but he's right about being honest.

"If you can get any girl you want, why let Rain get them for you?"

"Because it's Rain, and that's what she does. Besides, I don't have to do anything but sit back when she hunts for me. Rain's the sister I never had, and she enjoys taking care of us. Tria can't take her place—no one can—so that means you can't hog her all the time after you get married."

I smile while staring at my front door. Maverick's right. Rain's going to be mine in a way no one else can ever have her, but I can't completely take her away from her four brothers. And that's just fine by me.

"Works out perfect, if you ask me," I say with a grin.

"Damn you and your cheese," Maverick grumbles, and I laugh again. "But yeah. If Rain is going to marry anyone, I'm glad it's you. You're the only asshole good enough for her, and you're the only guy in the world who would understand our group dynamic without jealousy. I really am happy for you, man."

"Thanks," I murmur while clapping him on his back and leaving him with a grin he'll curse me for later.

I walk toward the door, taking each step happier. The ring in my pocket is burning against me, begging to be given to the girl I love.

I open the door, close to calling for her, when Tria walks around the corner holding three of Rain's bags. Her eyes widen when she sees me, and I tilt my head in confusion.

"You going somewhere?" I ask, curious as to why she had to borrow Rain's luggage.

Tria doesn't speak. She looks like a scared kitten in a corner. Rain walks around with two bigger bags that she's pulling behind her.

"No, I am. I've got to be in New York for a signing tomorrow."

My eyes are glued to the luggage in her hands instead of her face.

"And you need five bags for that?"

My jaw tenses as Tria scurries around me, hurriedly getting out of dodge as she makes her way to her car.

Rain takes a deep breath that says something I don't want to hear. What just happened?

"No. I'm going to be staying there for a while. I've got some business to do."

I look up and walk toward her, refusing to just let her leave. "What are you doing, Rain?"

She forces a smile and shrugs. "I just told you."

"No, you just told me some bullshit. I'm not letting you go. I've spent eleven years wanting to be with you, and now you're... What's going on really?"

She blows out a harsh breath, and she turns around as she messes with her luggage, giving me only a view of her back.

"I don't see this working. Maybe too much time has passed, but it's just... It doesn't feel right."

My heart explodes into a thousand little pieces. It's as though all the oxygen in my lungs is painfully ripped out, and my world breaks apart right in front of me. I'm forced to sit down on the uncomfortable chair by the door while Rain avoids looking at me.

"Look at me and tell me you don't love me."

"I didn't say I don't love you, Dane. I said this isn't working."

"Fuck that. Look at me and tell me to my face, now, Rain!"

She tenses in front of me, and I wait to see her eye twitch with a lie. Then I can figure out what the hell is really going on. Slowly, she turns to face me with too many unshed tears in her eyes for me to see her blues clearly.

"This thing between us won't work. I know that. I'm sorry. I really am, Dane, but I have to go. This is me doing the right thing instead of drawing it out, because it's not meant to be."

Not once. Not once did her eye twitch. No. Fuck no. Please, God, no.

"Rain," I murmur in a rasp whisper, and her eyes start dropping the tears she can no longer hold on to.

"I have to go, Dane. I'm sorry," she says through a strangled, hoarse tone.

She drags her suitcases by me, and the door shuts behind her as she leaves me. My body has shutdown. Nothing makes a damn bit of sense. Yesterday she loved me, today she's leaving me.

By the time I get to my feet, Rain is already gone. The girl I've loved for eleven years left me because I wasn't the one she wanted... again. I barely had her long enough to lose her.

RAIN

"You still don't like Dean Easton?" the impatient and exasperated producer asks.

After a month of filming, he shouldn't even bother to ask that question. Where do they find these stick-up-the-ass actors?

"This guy doesn't act... I don't know. I can tell he's acting. He's not as genuine as Dane... I mean, Dean. Everyone has to see his love for her without it being spoken. Right now, I'd almost think the guy could spell it out and not sell it. And his walk is terrible. Dane—
Dean
, would never walk like that. His walk is effortlessly graceful and sexy. He doesn't try; it's just natural."

He groans as he takes several notes. I'm sure they're regretting giving me so much input on this, but the books for the Easton Boys have sold like crazy. There are only four in the series, but every one of them has flown off the shelves. The movie has to be as close to perfect as possible to escape the terrible reviews that would ensue otherwise.

"Maybe you could bring the illusive Dane Sterling up here to explain to our Dean what he's doing wrong."

"No!" I bark, writing down several marginal notes in the script. "If he can't act, find someone who can."

I can't believe Viv told them it was about Dane. She thought it was okay once Dane and I got together. It's not okay. No one should know. This is a personal thing they shouldn't get to tear apart.

I turn to walk away, and the producer puffs out an irritated gust of air.

"This is the fourth Dean we've hired. Stop looking for faults."

I ignore him and head back to the trailer. We haven't even started filming the scenes with Dane—dammit,
Dean
! Because none of them are good enough.

"You going to add a book about what happened six years later when Reva and Dean got back together?" Viv asks nosily, slipping in behind me and following me outside.

"No, because in the Easton Boys, Reva and Dean get together and live happily ever after. Fucking sweet, huh?" I growl. "No need to shatter the illusion."

"Rain, what happened? You sounded so happy when I talked to you."

The tears in my eyes haven't stopped falling. I've mourned the loss of Dane more than anything except my mother. I almost curse Viv for making them start back up.

"Life isn't a fucking fairytale like it is in my books!" I shout, catching her off guard. "Sometimes the girl and the guy aren't meant to be no matter how fucking in love they are. Because the chapter doesn't end with the promise that all will turn out perfect. Real life happens. People change over the years. And in real life, the girl can't keep the dream guy."

Her lips move to speak, but she wisely reins in whatever she was going to say and nods instead. I turn to walk away, leaving her behind as I make my way into the small trailer set up for the pain-in-the-ass writer who can't be satisfied with their poor man's Dane.

It's times like these I wish I could call just one of my boys, but I can't. If I do, they'll want to know what happened, and I'm not ready to talk about it. I don't know if I'll ever be ready.