The Sterling Boys (2 page)

"You're the only person I trust with this," I say softly, doing well not to scream out my love for him.

His shaky breaths find my chin as his lips just barely brush mine, teasing me, and making me want more.

"We can wait," he says with a tremble, possibly trying to back out now that he's had a minute to really think about this.

"No," I whisper, pulling him closer as the party below us rages on, the sound carrying through the open balcony door. "I want this before I go... before I..."

My words trail off. I can't say it. Instead, I pull his hand up, drawing every bit of courage I have, and then I put it over my right breast. His breath hitches in his throat, and he stays frozen against me. I'm sure I'm making this awkward, considering how completely inexperienced I am, but I can't do this with anyone else.

It's really hard not to let some sound of pleasure escape. Dane Sterling is touching me.

"I won't be able... the feeling will be different, almost numb," I mumble, blushing from embarrassment. "I want to be able to feel someone's touch—just to know what it would have been like. I get it if you don't want to do this with me because—"

My words are cut off when his lips rush mine, surprising me with the breathtaking kiss I wasn't anywhere close to being prepared for. Even my fantasies suddenly pale in comparison.

As his tongue sweeps between my lips, I let out a girly moan, trembling as he presses himself against me to let me feel how much he's actually enjoying this. This is real.

His hand slides up my shirt, ready to fulfill my request, and I moan in anticipation as he touches the part of me I won't have next week. It feels so much better than I imagined—
so much better.

"If you need me to stop or slow down, just say it," he whispers against my lips before reaching down to the hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head in a slow, gentle motion, letting his lips touch mine again before the shirt is fully gone.

I don't want to go to college and let someone I don't know have this piece of me. I don't want to wait until I can't have the full effect. I want it all, and I want it with the boy I love and trust the most.

"You're not going to hate me after this, are you?" he asks, kissing me at the corner of my mouth as his hand slowly finds my right breast again, making that strangled moan slip free.

"I could never hate you," I whisper, struggling to breathe. "We'll be friends—like we are now. It's just one night. Please, tell me we'll still be friends."

A slight haze forms over his eyes, and for a second, I almost think it's disappointment. What have I done wrong?

I start to question it, when he says, "Always, Rain. You'll always have me in your life."

I smile, feeling myself relax in his arms, and he pulls me close, gently nipping at my skin with his lips, stroking the soft flesh with his tongue, and gripping me tightly to him as we prepare to surrender this once.

This will more than likely be my one and only night with the boy I've loved since I was thirteen. I'm damn sure going to enjoy every second of it.

***

Fall Farewells

I kept hoping our one night in Cancun would somehow make Dane fall in love with me, but nothing has changed—just as we both promised it wouldn't. The next day, I woke up in Dane's arms, but it was the same as all the times before when I had woken up in his arms.

He didn't lean down and kiss me the way he had the night before. Instead, he had kissed me on the cheek. Like a friend.

It wasn't anything like I'd seen in the movies where the girls scream, flail around like crazy fools, and then huff and puff before passing out, but I felt... alive. For the first time in my life, I felt connected to the world instead of like I was just floating.

I'd give anything to feel that way again.

I've had three reconstructive surgeries so far. Fortunately, it's nothing as terrible as what I had originally imagined. The scars are gradually fading, my chest looks almost normal, and though they're not as sensitive as they were before, my breasts still have feeling.

So far, everything looks good. The only problem... That one night with Dane cemented my feelings for him. I love him. Need him. Want him as more than just a friend.

I've finally decided to do it, though I'm still a little bit chicken. Instead of professing my undying love to him to his face, I wrote a letter. I'm more articulate on paper anyway.

If he loves me, or if he even wants to try to love me, all he has to do is respond. I won't bug the hell out of him or ever mention this again. I'll always be his friend no matter what he says, but I'm putting the ball in his court by laying all my feelings out there for him to have or reject.

Everyone is meeting with me to eat at Beach Grill one last time before I leave for college tomorrow. We've already set up schedules to make sure we see each other as much as humanly possible.

When I pull up to Beach Grill, I spot Dane's BMW. The top is up, thankfully, and I have the spare set of keys to unlock it. Before I lose my nerve, I open the door and gently place the letter on his seat, and then lock it back.

I stare through the window at the folded sheets of paper for a minute, half cringing/half giggling. This could be incredible or disastrous—depending on how he feels. I know he cares about me. I know he's attracted to me. So he has to say yes. Right?

Everyone in the entire school thought we were dating from the time we were thirteen. He always touches me more than anyone else does, further proving I'm not imagining the fact this is deeper than just a friendship.

Shrugging off all the doubts, I walk away, eager to meet my Sterling boys. The boys are already waiting outside the front doors—like always—when I walk down the steps leading to the beachfront restaurant. They never get a seat without me. I always get first pick at where I want to sit down at our table. I'm not sure why they started that, but it always works out the same—I'm next to Dane.

Speaking of Dane...

"Hey," he murmurs as he makes his way toward me, wearing his khaki shorts, his blue button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his dazzling smile.

Butterflies ruffle, my smile tugs, and his arms wrap around me as he pulls me in for the first hug of the night. I'm sure we'll be dealing out a bunch of them before we all split up.

"Damn," he groans, pulling me closer. "I'm going to miss the hell out of you. Tell your parents you want to go to college here."

I smile against him as tears fill my eyes.

"I want to, but I want away from them. Come to Hudson instead."

He chuckles as he pulls back and kisses me softly on the lips, making my heartbeat speed up to the point I'm worried it'll explode. But the chaste kiss is all I get.

"I would, but my mom needs me here. I'll see you on every holiday break and numerous weekends though. You aren't getting rid of me that easily."

My grin grows to be embarrassing, and he tucks me under his arm as we make our way toward the restaurant. The boys whistle and send out catcalls when they see me. They've been trying to build up my confidence ever since the mastectomy and reconstruction.

They work hard.

"
Daaamn
," Maverick drawls, letting his gaze playfully rake over me in my sundress.

I roll my eyes while swatting at him, but I suppose this really is the first time I've ever worn a dress. Ever. Wow. That's sad.

"Shit," Dale says through a cough as his eyes roll down my legs, taking it all in.

I blush fiercely because their acting becomes too much. I love them for trying, but it's exaggerated overkill.

A few guys from school look our way, letting themselves appraise me from afar, which is curious—considering they never once noticed me much at school.

Of course, I was always in an oversized uniform instead of a tight sundress.

As we walk through the doors, Dane's fingers lace with mine, and I lean into him, enjoying the feel of his body against mine. I pray he calls me the second he reads that letter. If not, my heart is going to shatter.

Present Day

RAIN

"I can't believe you're going back to Sterling Shore," Vivian, my personal assistant whines. "It's not fair."

"It's either that or never write again—obviously. I'm desperate, Viv."

I finish zipping up my carryon bag, and then I frown as the movers prepare to carry my stuff across the country. It's sure as hell costing me enough. You'd think I asked them to give me a kidney or something.

"I don't understand. The
Easton Boys
series is doing great. It's already getting more attention than anything else you've put out there. It even has a movie deal."

"
And
it was part of my old notebook ideas. All of my new stuff has flopped among the beta groups. My old stuff—the things I jotted down at random back when I was living in Sterling Shore—is all anyone seems to like. I need to go find whatever in the hell inspiration I can. I'll come back once I have a whole new notebook full of ideas."

She grumbles something about me being stubborn and it being in my head, but I choose to ignore it. The
Easton Boys
was all I had left. I really wasn't ready to write that story, but seeing as I didn't have anything—and I do mean
anything—
left in me, I finished it.

"I still don't understand why you wrote it under a different pen name. It's going to confuse a lot of your loyal fans."

"I've already told you; I don't want the guys knowing I wrote a book about them. I'll never hear the end of it," I groan while ushering her out of my empty apartment.

She goes with a begrudged motion, and I take one last wistful look at the place I've called home for... about a year. Moment over. No real memories here, just as there hasn’t been too many memories made in any of the homes I’ve had in New York.

All of my memories are in Sterling Shore, and I dread going back to face those memories.

Dane Sterling.

What will I do when I see him? What will he do when he sees me? I pray he and I don't cross paths very often, though that'll be hard to accomplish.

We run in all the same circles, and we share the boys. Kode crashes at my place every time he's in New York—which is often. Maverick and Corbin usually always come to sleep over with me and have some nights out—at least three times a month. And Dale usually comes when his fiancée is traveling for business, which is rare.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to seeing the guys more, but Dane... I'd rather sleep on a bed of needles for three months than face him for five minutes.

"I shouldn't have released the Easton Boys," I mutter to myself, cursing under my breath while shaking my head.

If Dane sees that, I'll feel like an even bigger fool. I doubt he's stalking the romance department, though.

"So Dean Easton is Dane Sterling, right?" she asks, probing.

I tried keeping a lid on where this all came from, but I got drunk, and the damn tequila betrayed me last night. Stupid truth serum.

"Yeah," I mumble.

"So... what's the big deal if he sees it? Last night you kept freaking out about him seeing it, but it's under a different pen, and it's a fictional piece. It's obvious you didn't use actual events all the way through."

"That's just it; I
did
use actual events all the way through. I just exaggerated several pieces and embellished certain parts of the story."

She seems confused as we load the elevator, studying me with her scrutinizing eyes.

"What?" I snap, suddenly feeling rather irritable.

"It's just... It's obvious you didn't get the ending Reva got, so what happened?"

Never again will I drink tequila. Betraying bastard. After all I've given that toxin, it decides to take my dignity in front of my assistant. Great.

"That's one of the parts I embellished. In real life, Dean never went to Reva after she poured her heart out on a three-page letter. Instead, he let her go, rarely called for the first three months, and they haven't seen each other in six years. It wouldn't have made the best romantic ending in the fictional version. In real life, we don't get always get the HEA."

A reverent sigh graces her lips. She knows I'm right. Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't live, write. At least that's how I feel.

The taxi is waiting when we reach the outside, and Viv follows me in, quickly rattling off all my events from my calendar. I need to make some changes. I need to find that piece of me that's connected to my writing. I can't stay in this stall or I'll go crazy.

Hearing Vivian chirping about all the signings, interviews, and various functions, I refrain from slapping her. I need... a break.

We pull up to the
private portion of the airport, and I smile when I see the familiar face waiting for me on the far edge of the runway. I'm out of the car in no time, nervous and excited about getting this over with.

"There she is," Kode says, grinning salaciously as he holds his arms out.

I go willingly into the embrace and squeal when he lifts me from the ground to spin me around. When he puts me down, I turn to see Viv's mouth has dropped. I guess I should have introduced them sooner. It's a little rude to do it right when I'm leaving.

"Hey, I'm Kode Sterling," he says, flashing her the prize-winning grin I've seen stronger women than Viv dissolve under.

Her lips clap shut several times after falling back to a gaping position. Obviously Kode is gorgeous—I'm not blind—but to me he's just... Kode. Dane's brother. My friend. In the past six years, he's become my best friend. Well... sometimes it's a toss-up between him and Maverick.

Speaking of Maverick...

"It's about fucking time your pretty little ass comes back home," Maverick says through his excited chuckles as he scoops me up and slaps a sloppy kiss on my lips.

I groan as I curse him, and he snickers while I wipe my mouth. I change my mind. Kode is definitely my best friend
all
the time.

Corbin is next, swiping me from Maverick's embrace and pulling me into his. I giggle when he swings me the way Kode did. Then I see Dale. I can't believe it. He got out without his fiancée being out of town.

I've got numerous cousins, but I'm not close to them the way I am these boys. Kade Colton is probably my favorite cousin, but I rarely see him. The Sterling boys... I don't know what I'd do without them. They're my family.

"There's that whooped boy. Straying from home on a school night?" I tease, making Dale roll his powder blue eyes.

"Funny," he snarks before jerking me to him and hugging me close. "I wouldn't miss escorting you back. Besides, it's not every day I get to ride in Pretty Boy's plane."

Kode groans, and I laugh lightly. He hates being called
pretty.

Kode's soft, dirty-blonde hair is shaggy, but perfectly sexy. His lean, tanned body, perfect prince posture, and cockiness all add to his appeal. It's too bad I can't see him as something other than the boy who used to cheat off me in math class and helped me sneak into his and Dane's house when I had nightmares and needed to be held. It was always Dane's bed I went to.

Maverick... He's tall, gorgeous, and so damn arrogant, but he's also sweet, funny, and giving—once you get to know the real man behind the thick facade. His jet-black hair sweeps his forehead, bringing out his deep brown eyes, and his favorite thing to do is flex all of his muscles.

Corbin looks like a NFL quarterback. Tall, dreamy, and trimmed with all the right ripples. With his longer brown hair that shags down to his shoulders, he has a surfer-boy vibe as well.

Dale is the shortest of the boys, even though he's still six-feet tall. His hair is militant, as always. I half expect him to salute at any given time. I sometimes wonder if it hurts to stand so straight and tense all the time. That's just Dale, though. He's also the only one of my boys to have a real relationship.

It's sort of annoying, since I'm selfish like that. I'm moving back home, and I want to spend time with them—all of them. My four boys and not their fiancées that hate my guts for no real reason.

"Should you be worried about her not breathing?" Kode asks, nudging me in the direction of my forgotten assistant who is still wide-eyed and drooling over the four men staring at her with mild amusement.

"You okay, Viv?" I ask, biting back my grin.

She just nods when she can't seem to form words, and I walk over to give her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek before looping my arms through Kode's and Maverick's proffered arms.

I'm going home.