The Storm Inside (22 page)

“Oh, baby, do you know what you’re doing to me?”

“I hope I’m making you feel good.”

He ran his hands through my hair and smiled down at me with the most mischievous half grin on his handsome face, “Like heaven.”

I raised a very pleased eyebrow and locked eyes with him as I slowly wound my mouth around his warm cock. The connection between us was electric as I used my mouth to please him. He watched me, every single move I made. Every glide of my tongue, every suckle of my mouth, every sigh.

He watched as I used my other hand to draw out my own pleasure. He wanted this to last as long as I did—the long, sweet torture of standing at the edge of orgasm as exquisite a feeling as anything else.

But then we heard the sounds of a car out front and the happy lilt of Jennie’s voice. She and Andrew were home and we were naked out back.

Jake hauled me up off my knees, turning me toward the washer and plunging inside me. The sudden invasion of his erection into my swollen and ready sex sent me gasping for breath. My knees buckled out from underneath me, but his arm was around my waist, holding me up. I threw out my hands, bracing them against the vibrating washer and lowered my nipples back down to the cool metal. The combination of Jake thrusting into me from behind combined with the shot of cool sensation from my nipples ripped me in two. My entire body contracted as a pulse from deep inside my body tore out from the center.

I squeezed my lips together, muffling the scream that threatened to burst from my throat. Jake placed his hands on my hips and thrust deep inside me one last time. He grunted, stiffened, and finally relaxed, his hands starting their usual after-sex caresses.

Even through the fog of complete satisfaction I was blindingly aware we had a problem. Jake and I had to stop ignoring our issues. We had to stop trying to get caught.

***

Jennie and Andrew had our dinner laid out on the kitchen counter by the time Jake and I came down from showering.

“Barbeque… perfect after a day in the sun. I could eat a whole pig myself,” I grumbled, grabbing a piece of cornbread to stop the obnoxious growling my stomach was making.

Jake made some noises of agreement.

“Well eat something fast because we have an announcement to make and I don’t want you passing out.”

I stopped mid-chew and stared at her giant blue eyes. Jennie was ridiculously happy. Over the moon, vibrating with excitement happy. Andrew wasn’t so bad himself. He was watching her, just like he usually was, with a satisfied smile on his face.

They’d gone to visit his family today.

“Well, spill the beans,” Jake exclaimed.

I looked at Jennie expectantly wondering if she was actually going to make me eat a rib before she told us the news.

Her eyes danced, “I’m moving in with Andrew. You need a new roommate.”

She squealed after that and we did what girls do; we hugged and jumped around and said a lot of things in really high voices. The guys did the much more manly thing and shook hands.

“When?” I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, “Now. I don’t think that you’ve noticed, but I’ve barely been around for a while now.”

Had I noticed? I thought back over the last few weeks and realized I’d been pretty caught up in Jake. “I suck, don’t I?”

She shook her head and hugged me again, “Not at all. I’m obsessed and you,” she paused, holding me back so she could look me in the eye, “have been happy. Finally.”

Oh, if she only knew how much we were still holding back. “I think we need a night away from the testosterone, my friend.”

She looked at me with raised eyebrows, “You have made an excellent suggestion. Soon?”

“Soon.” I promise.

Then Jennie did what only Jennie could get away with: she carefully pranced around the counter back into Andrew’s arms and dropped her bomb. “Now Jake can officially move in here.”

I stopped with the rib halfway to my mouth and glared at her. Andrew looked helplessly at me. He was as incapable of stopping her as I was.

“He sleeps here every night as it is…” she said looking at us both and clearly expecting one of us to join in her celebration.

But I didn’t and neither did Jake.

“Ok, well. I’m going to take a load tonight and Andrew and I will come back tomorrow to clear out the majority of it. I’ll just keep making little trips as long as that’s ok with you, Eve.”

I nodded, “Of course. It doesn’t matter where you live, you know this will always be home.”

After we ate, Andrew cornered me. I’d allowed myself to indulge in a couple of glasses of the expensive champagne Jennie opened and I was feeling more than a little buzzed. Life seemed to be getting away from me these days.

“I’m sorry, she’s such a ball of fire… I can’t seem to rein her in sometimes.”

“Don’t worry, none of us can. It’s just Jennie. And that’s why we love her.” I said with a shrug.

He clinked his flute to mine, “Here, here.” A comfortable silence fell between us before he continued. “I’m gonna take good care of her, I promise.”

And I believed him. For some reason I couldn’t explain, I’d been comfortable with Andrew since the beginning. “Wedding bells coming?”

“Very soon. If she’ll have me.”

“I’m pretty sure you two are meant for each other Andrew. I’ve never seen those sparks before, it’s been fun to watch you two.”

He studied me for a long moment and I thought it was because he was trying to decide whether or not to tell me what was really on his mind.

“I spook easily, Andrew, but I don’t scare often.”

He cocked his head and held up his glass, “Interesting point. I might have to remember that one.”

“Spill it. What’s on your mind?”

“Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

I studied him long and hard for a moment. “What do you mean?”

The way he smiled at me made me wonder how much of my own life I wasn’t seeing. “You and Jake are meant for each other. I can only hope to make Jennie light up around me the way you light up around Jake. It has been very educational for me to watch the two of you. I very much want what you two have. I think Jennie and I have it, but I am constantly learning how to take better advantage of it by watching you two.”

My jaw fell open with surprise. “What?” My eloquence was epic.

“I don’t know if it’s the time you two have on us. I’m not sure. But you two have no inhibitions. You are you and Jake is Jake. And anyone who has ever spent any time around the two of you knows that there is no getting between you two.”

I watched Jake as he laughed with Jennie. As if he could feel my eyes on him, he turned and smiled at me. Maybe we did feel the vibration of each other through the air.

“And,” Andrew said, shifting to move back toward Jennie, “you two should move in together. Officially.”

“You know, you’re awfully opinionated for a newbie.”

His eyebrows danced, “Just callin’ it like I see it, Daniels.”

***

Many hours later the guys were smoking cigars on the back porch. It was raining, but a light drizzling rain, the kind that lasts for a few hours while the sky lights up over and over with lightning dancing quietly from cloud to cloud far, far above.

Jennie and I were huddled up with wine in the corner of the porch chatting and listening to the drip of the rain. “Seriously, Eve. What is up with you and Jake? I expected you two to elope by now, but instead the two of you practically flinched when I suggested you officially move in together.”

I hid behind my glass of wine. Why was something as simple as sleeping arrangements so complicated? Why did it hold so much meaning? I decided to deflect. “Why are you moving in with Andrew? I thought it was a rule of yours, no living together without a ring?”

I realized I’d stumbled into something big at that point. Jennie’s eyes unfocused and her mouth turned down in a frown. Frowns always looked so terribly out of place on her normally happy face and I was worried about what was putting it there now.

She licked her lips and her eyes shot up to mine, making contact. “The ring is coming, I know it is. So, I’m not worried about what order things happen in… but a ring isn’t going to happen today.” She took a deep breath letting it out slowly, “Today was just too emotional and the whole moving in together thing was a whim. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. It naturally grew out of everything that happened today.”

“What happened?” I asked. I was completely lost and starting to get worried.

“Today was Andrew’s mother’s birthday.”

That didn’t seem like a bad thing, “That’s wonderful. Isn’t it?”

Jennie’s frown deepened, “She died seven years ago. Today they had a big celebration in her memory.” She reached out and grabbed my hand, “Even now it is so clear how much his parents loved each other. It breaks my heart for Andrew. He said they were the disgusting parents who only seemed to want each other more over time… his dad is still heartbroken she’s gone. He’s here and he’s a part of his kid’s lives, but it is so obvious a part of his soul is just… gone. And I think Andrew is afraid he’s going to lose his dad to a broken heart at some point.”

I couldn’t help but look down the porch to where the guys were sitting. It explained so much about Andrew and I felt like I understood him so much more. “I’m glad you two found each other, Jennie. I really am. And I think you two are going to be just as disgustingly happy as his parents were. It will be a beautiful way to keep her memory alive.”

She squeezed my hand, her blue eyes were so sad I wanted to hug her but I knew it wasn’t what she wanted or needed. She just wanted to be able to make Andrew’s pain go away.

“Thank you. I think so, too.” But then she locked eyes with me again and brought me back to the question she’d asked in the beginning. “So what is up with you and Jake?”

I sighed. My heart hurt thinking about all of this. In fact, it was pretty infuriating to think how much time we’d lost already and knowing we couldn’t move our relationship any faster than we were. I thought about what Jennie had just said, that she wasn’t worried about the order things were happening in. “We’re still working through some stuff.”

Her eyebrows shot up as she waited for me to elaborate. “I don’t need to know details, Eve. In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t
want
details… you two are kind of gross. Talk to me about what’s going on underneath.”

Damn shrink, wanting to make me talk emotions. Emotions and feelings I still couldn’t quite grasp myself, let alone talk about with the only one it mattered to: Jake. But some of it I understood and I could at least talk to her about that. “I think I glamorized our old relationship, I forgot how screwed up Jake was, how sad we really were most of the time. It was easier to remember how much I loved him, how much he loved me… how perfect we felt together… and just forget everything else.” I checked to make sure she was following and Jennie smiled with encouragement. “But it was hard. And things weren’t all shiny and perfect. I’ve been mad at him for a long, long time and not just about leaving. I’ve been mad at it all.”

“You should be. None of it was fair, to you or him.”

“The thing is, he left and worked on his issues, but now that he’s back we have to work on
our
issues. We’ve had a lot to overcome, not just my anger, but trust issues and dealing with our mistakes.” I took a moment to drink some wine and let everything I was thinking and feeling settle around me.

Why was the idea of Jake officially moving in causing me to feel so defensive? “Falling in love is intense, you know? It feels so good and you want to hold on to that, keep it for as long as you can. You’ll do anything to keep it.” I laughed, not because it was funny, but because of how important the things I was trying to say were. “You don’t even realize what you’re doing. I didn’t realize what I was doing. Jake said it himself, he left me because if he’d stayed I would have done anything,
anything
, to save him.”

I looked at Jennie hoping for comfort in her deep blue eyes because my thoughts were scaring the crap out of me. That was why I’d been avoiding things with Jake, keeping up that wall and hiding behind it. It scared me how close I came to destroying myself for him. How easily I could do it again. “There is nothing healthy about a relationship where one of you is broken or using each other for happiness or validation. You each have to be complete. Only two whole people can truly have a happy relationship.”

It was one of those crazy things, the math would never, ever add up, and yet it was true. To truly be one, Jake and I each needed to be separate and whole.

“That’s good, Eve. That’s healthy. You know, it’s one of those things people ignore. They focus on the process not the people. The people and their relationship are what really matter. A list can’t teach you how to have a healthy relationship. Only the two people doing the work can do that. The people are what matter, their relationship and how they treat each other. You have to focus on you and Jake and do whatever you two need to have a healthy life together.”