The Stranger Came (57 page)

'Lucy?'

'I
don't
need
you
to
tell
me
I'm
mad
as
well.
You're
not
my
doctor.’

'If
you
shook
any
of
Cadell's
patients,'
Anne
Macleod said,
and
did
take
Lucy
by
the
arm
and
shake
her,
'you'd
hear
the
pills
rattle
about
inside
them.
Pimozide,
Chlorpromazine,
Thioridazine,
Trifluoperazine,
Haloperidol,
Fluphenazine,
Sulpiride.’

'And
yours,
are
yours
different,
aren't
your
patients
just the
same?'

'All
the
same,'
Anne
Macleod
frowned,
nodded
her
head
fiercely.
'I
work
here.
I'm
not
in
charge.
A
hundred
years
ago
in
places
like
this
doctors
cut
out
the
womb
as
a
cure
for
hysteria.
No
women
doctors
then.’
She
thrust
her
fists
into
the
pockets
of
her
coat.
'Not
that
things
change
much.
Most
of
the
patients
are
still
women.
Most
of
the
doctors are
men.’

But
before
Lucy
could
absorb
that,
in
the
way
of
quiet corridors
there
was
a
sudden
flurry
of
activity.
An
orderly
came
whistling
from
the
lifts
shoving
an
empty
wheelchair
along
one-handed;
while
from
the
other
direction
three
women
in
dressing-gown
and
slippers
shuffled
softly
nearer.
The
one
in
the
middle
looked
familiar,
someone
from
the
lower
corridor,
shuffling
forward
like
an
inquisitor – what
are
you
doing
here?
What
are
you
talking
about?

Before
they
came
level,
Anne
Macleod
walked
away, lingering
just
for
an
instant
to
be
seen
taking
a
look,
a
last
look
as
if
checking
something,
at
the
poster,
the
torn
poster,
its
needle
and
skulls.

Later,
alone
in
her
room,
Lucy
lay
on
the
bed
listening
to
the
sounds
in
the
corridor.

Acid
can burn the eyes out of your head.

And
then
she
had
said,
‘
Being
hypnotised
gave
him
permission.’

Chapter 20

It
was
Anne,
Doctor
Macleod,
who
had
told
her.

'There
was
no
need
for
us
to
have
to
meet
in
the
visitors'
room.
You
could
have
come
here,
all
the
time
you
could
have
come
here.
This
is
a
private
room.
Didn't
you
know
that?'

'Since
I'm
paying
for
it,'
Maitland
said.
'I'm
sorry.’

'What
about?'

'For
all
of
this.’
The
tears
came
and
she
knew
how
he
hated
that;
but
they
wouldn't
stop.
She
pressed
her
hands
against
her
cheeks
under
her
eyes.
She
felt
the
tears
slide
down
between
her
fingers
as
if
to
open
them.

'You'll
be
coming
home
soon.’
The
words
were
said
to
comfort
her
and
that
must
be
kind.
What
she
needed
though
was
for
him
to
touch
her.
Not
even
leaning
forward
he
sat
in
the
chair
facing
hers
between
the
bed
and
the
window.
Something
in
the
arrangement
of
it,
the
chairs
too
near
the
bed,
made
her
think
of
a
room
in
a
cheap
hotel;
some
cramped
place
where
lovers
lay
waiting
for
morning.

'I
don't
know
what's
wrong
with
me,'
she
wept.

'You
had
no
idea
about
Sophie
and
me?'

'If
I
had
known,
I
would
have
wanted
her
dead.’
The
back
of
her
throat
spasmed
and
she
could
have
vomited, lowering
her
face
to
hide
that
from
him.
'Isn't
that
Doctor
Cadell's
theory?'

They
sat
in
silence.

'Only
you
didn't
know.’

'I
went
mad
for
some
other
reason.’

'Don't
talk
like
that,'
he
said.
It
wasn't
an
appeal,
but
a
reproach;
or
his
habit
of
telling
her
what
should
be
done.
She
had
not
yet
shaken
off
the
habit
of
responding.
For
the
long-married,
habits
it
seemed
were
what
survived.

'I
told
Doctor
Cadell
about
the
time
Daddy
sent
me
to
fetch
his
briefcase,
when
he
set
up
the
mask
to
frighten
me.’

'What?'
Blank.
Frowning.

'I
told
you
about
it.’
A long time ago; when lovers laid claims upon one another by the things they confided.

'But
you
were
just
a
child.’

'Why
not?
That's
the
time
they're
keen
on
hearing
about.’

'"They
.”’

'People
like
Cadell.
For
them
that's
the
important
time.
Far
more
than
what
happens
to
you
later.
Like
adultery.’

Maitland
stood
up
abruptly.

'It's
not
fair
of
you
to
be
angry
with
me
in
this
place.
There
was
this
woman
at
the
dispensary
this
morning.
“When
should
I
take
my
tablets?”
She
asked.
The
pharmacist
told
her,
“take
them
at
eight
and
six.”

‘“
Oh,
no,
she
said,
my
people
tell
me
to
take
them
at
lunchtime.”
And
she
was
crying
and
started
to
shout.
I
was
standing
beside
her.’

The
door
opened
and
the
nurse
appeared,
her
heavy
features
lightening
into
a
simper
at
sight
of
Maitland.
'Doctor
Cadell
would
like
to
see
you
for
a
moment.
Your
wife
won't
be
alone.
Another
visitor's
come.’

He
was
gone
before
she
could
say
a
word.
By
turning
her
head,
only
a
little
movement,
she
could
see
through
the
window
a
patch
of
lawn
sloping
up
into
a
bank
of
uncut
grass
and
then
the
drab
wall
of
a
long
single-storey
ward.
Once
she
had
been
sitting
on
the
edge
of
the
bed
and
looked
up
to
see
a
man
at
the
window
opposite.
She
had
been
in
her
nightdress,
but
he
wouldn't
have
seen
her;
it
was
hard
to
see
into
a
room.
Waiting,
she
tried
not
to
think
of
how
she
would
cope
when
the
nurse
brought
Janet.
She
knew
it
must
be
Janet
and
that
she
would
say,
‘why do you keep hanging on to him? You know he doesn't want you anymore.’

When
Monty
Norman
came
in,
her
first
reaction
was
relief.

'Gone
to
see
the
doctor,
has
he?
I'll
sit
with
you
for
a
bit.
All
this
long
time,
they
haven't
been
allowing
you
visitors.
You
could
say
this
was
my
first
chance.’
He
bent
over
and
she
felt
his
hand
cool
on
her
forehead,
his
breath
on
her
cheek.
'You
can
sleep
if
you
want
to.’

The
sigh
was
her
own
sigh
coming
with
the
last
breath
of
her
life
passing
out
of
her
mouth
into
the
stale
crowded
air.