The Summer of No Regrets (10 page)

My neck hurt. Something was poking my back. There was a sound—purring. And in my lap—kittens. I had come at midnight just to check. I had only meant to stay a little while.

Felix put his wet nose against my arm, and Kalimar stretched and dug her dagger claws into my leg. “Ow!” I lifted her off.

Note to self: buy leather jeans. Pale light filtered in from the triangular “doorway” and the chimneylike opening above. My butt hurt from sitting all night.

Felix and Kalimar hovered as I opened cans. The website said two to three feedings a day, but it made me nervous. They were used to eating every three hours.

Inside the tree I felt the spirit of Onawa so strongly. She had been there in the night with me, too, a silent guardian over her children. I needed to begin thinking ahead. If they’d been with her, they’d have her milk and her warm body to sleep against. I was a poor substitute. Onawa would have been teaching them to hunt soon. How would I do that? Maybe I’d cover myself in animal skins and let the cubs folow me, skulking through the undergrowth. I’d folow the deer trails, and when a deer appeared, we would watch and wait. Then I’d suddenly leap into the clearing and—

And what? And Luke would be standing there and I’d be wearing nothing but animal skins. And while he would be intrigued by this, it would not be enough to keep him from concluding I wasn’t suffering from the same insanity as my father.

How much cat food would it take to feed two ful-grown cougars? How much money was in my colege savings? How long was it possible to have secret cougars?

I decided thinking ahead was wrecking my morning.

Kalimar looked up at me and licked her whiskers. She slowed down her attack on her breakfast. Felix was still snarfing his. I found Luke’s toy and dangled the strings over Kalimar’s head.

She swung her paws at the beads, then tried to bite them. Wood She swung her paws at the beads, then tried to bite them. Wood shavings from Luke’s carving peeked out amid dead needles on the den floor. He had sat up all night carving and then he had abandoned ship.

•••

guess
what?!

What?
I thought back guiltily to the last time I’d seen her. I hadn’t even tried to call her since then.

TY
was
in
seattle
sunday!!

I groaned. Trent Yves was the last thing I wanted to think about. I clicked to the “Big Cats” section of the website.

Natalie started typing again.
4 real! cheryl saw it on the
news! he was feeding lunches 2 homeless ppll dwntwn.

It made sense.
Rocket
had been filmed in Seattle, so it was probably a publicity stop. Of course Trent
would
show up fifty miles from us just when Natalie might have let the whole thing go.

Nice
of
him
, I typed.

not
so
hard
2 run 2 seattle when your mansion is locall;-),
Natalie persisted.

I sighed. I didn’t want to be mean, but I had enough on my mind without Natalie’s obsessive speculations about Luke.
The
Trent
thing
is
getting
old.

you’ll see. this time i’m right. i asked ruby chavez @ the
po. so-called “luke geoffrey” lives there w/only his mom.

just the 2 of them in that huge house. ruby wd know, she’s
the postmistress. AND trent is an only child. AND his dad
left them and went to france.

I

stretched.
Why
Kwahnesum? Not exactly an
entertainment hub.
I needed to wash my hair and get back to the kittens.

that’s the point!! we’re small. out of the way. media’s
horrible 2 him. wouldn’t u want 2 escape?

Not
to
here.
I took off my shoes and wiggled my toes.

it’s perfect. woods, mountains. he cd use it as the location
4 his nxt film. we cd b in it!

Right.
My cat Ophelia jumped onto my bed and began licking her calico paws.

y
not? gwendolyn melier was an unknown till imlandria. &
omg, that kiss at the end? how many x do u think they
practiced that? lol. & now he’s going out w/ her.

Why did this make my head hurt? Even if Luke was Trent, which was ridiculous, he wasn’t going out with Gwendolyn Melier. He’d only been seen with her at a party, which didn’t mean anything at al. The kiss, though, had been spectacular.

Surprising the camera hadn’t melted.

cmon, B, uv got 2 have seen him. he lives nxt door 2u.

Ophelia curled up on my pilow. My own eyes were at half-mast.
I’m tired, Nat. Need 2 take a nap. ttyl
I signed off.

•••

Kalimar’s tail twitched as she practiced pouncing. I let Felix curl up in my lap. Was it just a coincidence that both Luke and Trent were onlies living with their moms? Luke had never mentioned brothers or sisters, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have any.

When I thought about it, I didn’t know that much about him. I’d never met his mom or been inside his house. I thought of all the Trent Yves pictures I’d looked at on the web. Luke kept transfiguring into Trent in my imagination. What if Trent realy had chosen Kwahnesum for a hideaway? What if Natalie’s

had chosen Kwahnesum for a hideaway? What if Natalie’s fantasy was true?

July 10

Breathlessly

Awaiting Trent

Starlet is so certain Trent Yves lives here that she’s practicing for her screen test at the grange hall. My, oh my, who’d have thought our little hamlet would be visited by such greatness? As for me, I haven’t had a tender moment with Trent since at least Sunday.

Aquarius0210
responds:

Your “Starlet’s” a hoot. I check every day for the next installment.

Who do ya think’ll show up next?

Trentsbabe
responds:

mystic, i am so confuzed. r u realy having sex with trent?

Mystic
responds:

Trentsbabe, if you look up, you’ll see the word “gullible” written on the ceiling.

July 10

Hideaway

Fan Fic by Mystic

Chapter One

The pressures of Hollywood had exacted an awful price from Trent by the time he found the town of Idyll Grove. Despite his passion for his art, the shallow attacks of the paparazzi had left him helpless and hopeless, needing respite, needing a place to disappear. And who would recognize him in this small valley where the main entertainment was fly-fishing—or rodeos two towns away?

It was in this state—flattened, beaten, exhausted—that Trent stumbled into the woods near his new mansion. He never suspected how fateful that morning walk would prove to be.

He followed a creek. There was something magical about it, something that drove him forward—a musical sound on the breeze. Was it only a meadowlark?

Trent stepped off the trail and began fighting his way through brush with his bare hands. He felt like Felix of Imlandria, searching for the scrolls. But there were no cameras here, no costumes, no props, just Trent Yves, blessedly alone and following a sound that stirred his heart.

The sound grew louder, more mesmerizing. He emerged into a circle of tall cedars, and it was there that he saw her.

Her golden hair cascaded like a waterfall to her slim waist. She wore a gown the color of sapphires. Her eyes were closed, and she was playing an instrument. It had strings the girl was stroking with a bow, but also little holes the breeze blew through, with an effect that was purely numinous.

When she stopped playing, he was filled with sadness. “Go on,” he said. “Please?”

The girl opened her violet eyes. “I knew you’d come,” she said. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Trent tried to step back but found he couldn’t. Had the girl bewitched him, or was it only that he didn’t want to leave? “Who are you?” he asked.

“I am Eoindyllandra,” she said. “And you are Michael.” How did she know? Michael. His real name, not the one chosen for him so many years ago when his soul had been stolen by a glittering dragon with a relentless appetite.

She knew too much. Wasn’t this the very thing he’d been escaping?

To be watched, his secrets exposed? “What do you want of me?” he demanded.

Eoindyllandra held out her hand. “Don’t be afraid,” she said. “I know what you seek.”

How could she?
He
didn’t even know. He was only aware of an aching emptiness that filled him with despair.

“It won’t be easy,” she said.

And now he was intrigued.

“We must journey together, you and I, to a land you’ve never heard of. You will face many things. Even death. But if you survive, you will gain your heart’s desire. If you wish to turn back, the time is now.” He was torn. To go would be to leave everything familiar. His family, his fans. He was known in the world he lived in. Known and loved.

Adored, even.

The girl smiled, and he felt the warmth of it like a sunrise. He had thought she was a siren or even a goddess. But now he saw something else: power, yes, but also pain and a hint of sorrow. “Michael,” she said.

He took her hand.

The ground dropped away, and a rushing filled his ears.

Inside Cougar Bungalow, total sleep was impossible. As soon as I dozed off, Felix would put his whiskers on my face or Kalimar I dozed off, Felix would put his whiskers on my face or Kalimar would walk over my legs. And their purring was like the engine of the
Titanic
.

I could have stayed in my room. Mom and Dad still hadn’t clued in that Malory was sleeping downstairs with Webster. The crap Darling Malory got by with. If I said half the things she said to Dad, he wouldn’t just pat me and smile. And he certainly would not invite my boyfriend to vacation at The Center where I could creep into his bed at night. If Mom and Dad thought I was creeping into anybody’s bed, they’d have simultaneous heart attacks. Possibly because they thought I was about twelve.

My body fit inside the curve of the cedar trunk. It was buggy, and the kittens smeled strong and earthy, especialy at close quarters. Natalie would gag, but I didn’t mind it. I was becoming a woodland creature again.

Once or twice in the night I made my pathetic way to the tree house, just in case. So lame. Luke clearly didn’t want to come back. Why did I even like him so much—a guy who would be weirded out over a little shamanism? Even if Dad was a freak, at least Luke could have said good-bye or “Your dad’s a freak” or something. Did I only like him because he looked like Trent?

How shalow was that?

Drifting in and out of sleep, my mind played with the idea of Luke being Trent-incognito. Maybe he’d left to make another movie. His next movie,
The
Lamplighter
, was about cliff diving.

Was he standing at the edge of a cliff right now, wishing I were there? If I were, would I hold his hand and jump?

Kalimar’s claw caught on my Nonni coat. “Kalimar, no!” A patch tore away, leaving a bare spot. I shoved her off me. The scrap was from a Cherrywood sundress—gold with a green vine twining across. I rubbed it between my fingers, remembering against my wil.

When Nonni had her stroke, Aunt Julia hadn’t seen any reason for us to come. She had it “all under control,” which meant she had already stuck Nonni in a nursing home. Dad and I meant she had already stuck Nonni in a nursing home. Dad and I went anyway.

Without Nonni, Cherrywood had been stopped in time: a rack of cold gingersnaps lay on the tile counter, a book of Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s poetry facedown on the chaise lounge.

And on her recliner, a stack of sewing scraps with a spool of thread on top.

I’d gathered them into my lap—bits of red and blue from my first recital dress, a green print from my “princess” skirt, denim from a bag she’d made me. Most had made their way into my Nonni coat.

I’d found scissors and a needle. If Aunt Julia, who lived ten minutes from Nonni, couldn’t grasp that she needed her sewing, I’d have to bring it to her myself.

In the morning the kittens were snoozing hard. Figured. Felix tickled my cheek with his whiskers. I pressed the gold scrap into my pocket and stumbled back to the house to shower before I could be missed.

•••

Malory rose early and made us breakfast, even though she was not a morning person. Webster was in a good mood (naturaly) and asked Dad nonsarcastic questions about Native American drum art. I didn’t like him any better than I had the first day.

Mom was baffled by the lack of goat milk but didn’t say anything. She probably figured Webster had drunk it all and didn’t want to embarrass him. Why, I am not sure. A little humiliation would have done him good.

Webster drove away after breakfast, and Mom and Dad left an hour later. Aunt Julia had given them an “overnight getaway” at a time-share in the San Juans. It had to be used on a July weeknight between Monday and Thursday, and they were required to be there at noon to hear a sales presentation. They’d put it off so long they had to go today or lose it.

Mom threw suitcases into the car with a determined smile on her face.

“Enjoy!” caled Malory from the doorway. “Don’t forget to stop and smell the posies.”

It had stopped raining, and I lugged my violin outside. I was ready to play again, Dad or no Dad. Since I’d quit competing, my practicing had gone from four hours a day to two hours, and finaly to about once a week. But I needed to play now. It had always sorted me out when I was tangled.

Tomorrow night the hils would be alive with Indigo Children

—a “new,” highly evolved breed of human, bearing a cosmic message of peace and harmony. For once I wanted a week with the woods to myself—no chanting, no spirit quests, no kids with psychic powers.

I gave the cubs breakfast, but neither of them ate much. Felix licked my hand with his sandpaper tongue and curled back into a ball.

Out in the clearing under Eve I nestled the violin under my chin and let the bow take over. I played Vivaldi’s Concerto in A Minor, then went on to the Toreador song from
Carmen
, which was fast and full of fury. My feet pressed into the mud, and the notes came up from the ground. A cold breeze blew at my cheeks. Six measures in, I had the feeling of being watched. I lowered my instrument. Luke stood, scowling, one foot propped behind him against Adam. “I must be a season ticket holder,” he said. “I’m catching every performance.”

Onawa, Dad, and now me. Performers. My fantasies of leaping through the air with him abruptly hit the ground.

“Thanks.” I put my violin in its case. Maybe the edge in my voice could cover my exhilaration. “What are you doing here?” I began letting down my bow.

“Brigitta…hey.” He laid a hand on my shoulder. “That was—

“Brigitta…hey.” He laid a hand on my shoulder. “That was—

it sounded great. I’m just in a bad mood.”

I closed my case, with my back to him. “I wasn’t playing for your benefit.”

“Hey.” He turned me to face him. “Don’t be this way.

Please?”

I liked his hands on me. They cupped my shoulders, warm and steady. His face lost its hard edges. I looked away. “Why did you leave like that?”

“Leave like what?”

“It’s Thursday. Where have you been since Sunday?”

“Somewhere else.”

“Where?”

He let go of me. “Do you require an itinerary?”

“Wel, it would have been nice. I’ve been feeding kittens all by myself.”

“Yeah, wel, I’m sorry. I had to be somewhere.”

“Uh-huh. I know. Anywhere but here. Anywhere but out in the woods with some strange girl, watching ‘performances’ by her freakish family!”

Luke’s hands fell to his sides. “Is that what you think? That I left because of your dad?”

I picked up my violin and started across the bridge. “Just forget about it,” I said.

“Brigitta, wait.”

I stopped.

“Come with me,” he said to my back.

I turned around. “Come where?” My stomach did a flip. Was he inviting me to his house finaly? What was wrong with me? He could waltz off after promising to be here and then I was ready to chase after him as soon as he resurfaced?

“Aren’t you even slightly interested in seeing Felix and Kalimar?”

His face fel. “Yes. Yes, of course I am. Are they all right?”

“No thanks to you.” I was relentless. Was it just my

“No thanks to you.” I was relentless. Was it just my exhaustion?

“I am sorry,” he said. “Truly.”

“I’m sure you are.” Now I was being awful. He was tugging at my heart, so I was being awful.

When he saw the cubs, he got down on his hands and knees in the wet ferns. “Ohh!” His face relaxed.

Felix had finished his breakfast and was cleaning his enormous paws. Kalimar had her nose in her bowl, her ears peeking out over the rim.

Luke peered into the den and saw my pilow. “You slept with them?”

“Two nights. They don’t sleep much, though.”

“And they’re eating solid food now?”

“Twice a day.” I leaned my violin against the cougar tree.

“They look bigger.”

“Do they?”

Kalimar grabbed Luke’s sleeve with her teeth. I picked up the cougar toy and teased her away from him. Felix had already curled up to sleep. I set Kalimar next to him. They liked to sleep after eating.

Luke knelt in the leaves. He had dark circles under his eyes.

“I was rotten,” I said.

“I deserved it.” He stood and offered me a hand up. “There’s nothing freakish about you, Brigitta. You’re—I’ve never met anyone like you.” He kept hold of my hand.

Heat spread across my cheeks.

He looked into my eyes with his blue, blue ones. “I missed you when I was gone,” he said. “I wish—” He stopped. He let my hand go gently. “I will be back,” he said. “I wil.” He patted the cougar tree and walked away—again.

My heart turned over as I watched him duck around a falen birch. It was a couple of minutes before I snapped to attention.

He had said, “Come with me.” And then he’d just gone! And He had said, “Come with me.” And then he’d just gone! And here I was standing, like a stick in the ground. Wel, it was time for me to get unstuck!

I hefted my violin and took a deer path to the property line, arriving as he emerged from the row of maples. A look of sudden joy crossed his face. He stepped into the driveway, and the skies opened up. “Quick,” he caled as his shirt darkened with raindrops. He sprinted to a black Jeep Rubicon and opened the passenger door. “Come on!” He was getting drenched.

The car? He was taking me somewhere in his car? I hesitated only a few seconds and then ran for it. I stuffed my violin in the backseat and climbed in with my heart racing.

Luke started the engine and leaned back against his seat. His hair curled at the ends with dripping water. His damp T-shirt outlined his muscles. My shirt was just as damp, and I wished I had a jacket to wrap across my chest. He looked at me and grinned. “You’re soaked, beautiful. I think there’s a blanket in the back.”

I reached behind me and felt for the blanket. I couldn’t answer. He’d caled me beautiful! Me, beautiful!

He took a breath as if he was about to say something else but didn’t. He puled out the driveway and accelerated on Mountain View.

I found my voice. “Where are we going?”

“For a drive?” He looked at me questioningly.

This was crazy. I should insist on knowing where he was taking me. But he looked like a little boy about to hand me a wonderful birthday present, and I didn’t want to break the spell.

The cougars wouldn’t want another meal until nightfal. There was no reason I couldn’t go for a little drive.

He wound down Eagle Lake Road and on into town. Past the Dusty Cover New and Used, past the Burger Arcade, past the post office, and onto the highway.