The Sunspacers Trilogy (34 page)
“Well—on another frequency, perhaps through some more advanced means?” She searched for a clue in Dr. Shastri’s leathery face.
He smiled. “One more step, Miss Lissa Quintana-Green-Wolfe.”
The answer seemed obvious. Lissa felt disoriented. “But we don’t know how to receive, much less send, tachyons,” she said finally.
Dr. Shastri laughed. “Of course we do! I’m going to send you where they’re getting ready to do just that, to our advanced listening post out beyond Mars.”
Lissa’s mind raced. Tachyons, theoretical faster-than-light particles that couldn’t go slower than the speed of light. One might communicate with all parts of the universe very quickly. No need to wait for the slow crawl of light-speed radio waves, by which a simple exchange of hellos between distant civilizations would take decades, centuries, even millions of years. It was one thing to understand the possibility of tachyon communications and something completely different to know that it was about to be tried.
“Your transfer is not meant to be an honor,” Dr. Shastri added, “but you are excellent raw material and should have this experience.”
“I’ve only guessed what others have done,” Lissa said, “and you prompted me.”
“Ah, but you always respond so well. Few students leap ahead as you do. Even very worthy ones are already too conservative, too worried about their scientific careers to speculate creatively. I may be wrong about you in the long run, but you seem to combine thoughtfulness with a wild streak more than any of our students have for some time.”
“Thank you,” Lissa said, smiling, and for a moment she thought that he might be describing himself, as he had been many years ago.
“You’ll continue with your routine degree work, of course. The others will do the same here, as well as studying the radio signal.”
Lissa scowled. “Even if you think there’s nothing to learn from it?”
He looked at her seriously. “We might be wrong, and this might be the signal, after all. The others will get their education, and they might still discover something. All avenues must be left open.” He laughed again. “Exciting, isn’t it?”
“But you believe tachyons is the right way to go?” she asked insistently.
“At least until we get the receiver set and it proves otherwise.”
“Will we be able to send tachyons out?”
“Probably. The equipment is just being completed.”
“Why did it take so long?” Lissa asked. “We’ve known about tachyons since the last century.”
“Because we had to find a mini-black hole to serve as the trap in the heart of the receiver.”
Lissa took another deep breath. “And you actually have one?”
Dr. Shastri nodded. “We found it in a small asteroid that came in from the outer solar system on a long cometary orbit. We were very fortunate.”
Lissa was silent for a moment. “Is anyone else going from here?”
“Susan Falleta.”
“And no one else?”
“Not immediately. Of course you’ll have to stay to the end of the term. One or two of the others might get a chance later.”
“I hope they don’t misunderstand,” Lissa said.
Dr. Shastri got up. “You’ll get a formal transfer letter on your work screen. I have to be going now.” He turned, crossed the large chamber, and left by one of the side exits.
Lissa looked up at the dancing line on the big screen. Her father had been right all along. The signal was a big fake, in a sense. Then she thought of Alek, realizing that they would be separated when she left for Mars.
Alek was waiting in front of her door when she came down the hallway. She smiled as she came up to him.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked.
“Sure, come in.” She pressed the plate with her palm, and the door opened.
The ceiling flowed with light as they went in. Alek again sat in the armchair, and she turned her desk chair around to face him.
“I’m sorry,” he said painfully.
“We were both at fault,” she answered immediately. “I didn’t discourage you at all.”
“You did a little.” He was looking at her longingly with his blue eyes. “You don’t really want to hear what I have to say, do you?”
Her phone chirped before she could answer. “Excuse me.” She swiveled her chair around to face the desk and opened the audio.
“Hello?” she asked, leaving the screen dark.
“Lis, it’s me,” her mother’s voice said. “Something wrong with your screen, or do you have guests?”
Lissa glanced over her shoulder. Alek was leaving. She waited until the door had slid shut behind him, then opened the visual link. Her mother was smiling.
“No, I’m quite alone,” Lissa said. One, two, three.
“Sorry I haven’t called for so long, dear.”
“That’s okay, I understand,” Lissa replied, thinking about Alek. One, two, three.
“Nothing new to report here,” Sharon continued after the delay. “I’m still working too hard at the hospital, and your father complains that he doesn’t see enough of me.”
“Poor Daddy,” Lissa said, and waited.
“You seem preoccupied, dear.”
“Just the delay. It makes us all sound a bit brain damaged. Mom, I’ve got something to tell you. They’ve selected me for an advanced program. It’ll begin next term. I’ll be going out to Mars, then to the asteroid Belt. I don’t know all the details yet, but I think it’s an honor to be chosen.”
The delay went by. Her mother answered very late. “Why, congratulations, dear, but what’s it all about?”
“I’ll call when I know more, but I think it’s all very secret and restricted.” One, two, three.
“That’s wonderful,” Sharon said, sounding a bit skeptical.
“Is Dad there?” Lissa asked. One, two, three.
“I’m at the hospital, but I think you can call him at home.”
“Maybe later.”
“Well, I have to run,” her mother said after a moment, smiling again. “‘Bye, dear.”
The screen winked off as Lissa got up and rushed to the door. It slid open, and she went out into the corridor. She hurried to Alek’s door and pressed the buzzer.
The door opened. Alek was in his bathrobe. “I was just about to shower,” he said coldly.
“Can I come in?” she asked, ignoring the confusion within herself.
Alek stared at her. She started past him into the room. The knot in his robe slipped as she brushed against him. She stopped and looked up at him, feeling warm. He wasn’t as tall in his bare feet. She took a deep breath as he leaned over suddenly and kissed her. She was surprised as her arms crept into his robe and locked around him. He seemed very different from the person she had been talking to only a few minutes ago. His lips were tender, giving. He put his arm around her and led her inside, brushing her cheek with kisses. “You liked me also,” he said softly, “but you wouldn’t admit it.” His blue eyes watched her mysteriously. He seemed so friendly, so good, so knowing. How could she have ever been afraid of him?
She kissed him fiercely. A distant voice insisted that she was losing herself, but she was unafraid, sure that the voice was wrong. Alek was beautiful, and he would also be her best friend.
Later, she sighed gently and watched his face. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be looking deeply into himself. She felt his glow, and her own.
“You make me very happy,” he said after a moment.
“Same here,” she whispered as he turned on his back next to her.
“Why were you afraid of me?” he asked after a silence.
She tensed slightly. “I guess I was afraid that falling in love would distract me from my studies.”
“And do you still think that?”
Her skin was beginning to cool. “I don’t know,” she heard herself say, “and right now I don’t much care.”
She felt his hand in hers, and turned to see his strangeness next to her own. What are we, she wondered. It was all set to be this way, long ago, and she was glad. Then she laughed and kissed him again, deeply and for a long time, remembering that once her mother had told her that people existed to make each other happy, but that too many of them forgot that by the time they grew up.
She woke up and heard the shower running. Alek was bathing. She listened to the water. Her mind was clear—and different; it seemed to her that she had been dreaming. Making love to Alek had been a dance of some kind, something that had to happen. She stretched, feeling rested and tingly.
The shower stopped, and an unhappy thought pushed into her mind. If it didn’t work out between Alek and her, then she would be able to leave at term’s end; she had a way out.
“Hello,” he said as he came out with a towel around his waist.
She smiled as he sat down and touched her stomach again. Why spoil these moments by telling him? But as she looked at him, she realized that he would probably not be able to go with her when she left, even if he wanted to; she would probably not see him for a long time, perhaps never again.
“What is it, beautiful?” he asked.
She bit her lower lip, enjoying the sound of his voice as he touched her. Her eyes closed, and she was grateful that for tonight, at least, she would not have to think of anything. She would listen to Alek, to the sound of his breathing as he lay beside her, to his happiness at having found her. They belonged together. It was as simple as that.
A week later, as she was studying a cybernetics problem on her screen, Lissa realized Alek was no trouble at all. It was pleasant to know that he was down the hall and studying as she was. What had she been afraid of? Another person had felt those fears. Now she was able to breeze through her day’s reading and problem solving. She still felt a bit guilty about not telling Alek where she was going next term, but that was still too far away to worry about. There would be plenty of time to work out something.
“So you’re going to leave us dummies behind,” Alek said. “Well, I knew you were smart.” They were walking down the trail to the village, stopping occasionally to enjoy the clear view of the valley. Alek seemed very sad as he looked at her. “Who else is going?”
“Just Susan Falleta, I think,” Lissa said.
He sat down on a rock and sighed. “Well, I guess I’ll just get my degree and go home to Australia.” He seemed so ready to give up that she wondered if he’d had any ambitions at all.
“What will you do?” she asked.
He looked at her, half smiling. “Well, I can’t bloody well come with you!”
“Why not?” Lissa demanded, startled by his outburst.
“What would I do, Lis?” he asked more softly.
“You could try to find out.”
He shook his head and pretended to check his left boot. “It’s a special place you’re going to. No one really knows what they’re doing there or what kind of people they need. You have to be asked.”
“I could ask Dr. Shastri, she said, sitting down next to him.
“No, don’t! It’s bad enough that I wasn’t asked.”
“Well, they didn’t ask most of the others, either,” she said.
“They’re upset, too, especially Louis.” He got up, picked up a small stone, and threw it out into the valley. “No one ever told us they’d be making selections before the three years were up. I thought we’d be together for at least that long.”
“I’m sorry,” Lissa said.
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is, partly. I should have left you alone. I stole your independence.”
He sat down again and put his arm around her. “No, Lis, I wouldn’t have missed you for anything. Just bad luck.”
She looked at him. “Do you really mean that?”
He smiled, trying not to look sad. “You know I do.”
She was silent. “So what are we going to do?” she asked finally.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
Lissa came into the dining room on the afternoon of the next day, hoping to get a strong cup of tea from the cook. Louis Tyrmand was sitting alone at the table, looking very glum.
“Is that tea you’re drinking?” Lissa asked, sitting down in an empty chair.
He looked up at her and nodded. She smiled.
“So you’re going,” he said bitterly, avoiding her eyes.
Lissa felt puzzled. “What’s wrong with that?”
Louis looked directly at her. “You’re the success here, you and Susan. Why should any of the rest of us bother? We’re not going to get anywhere. I’m leaving as soon as possible.”
“What?” she said with surprise. “But you’ve still got two years left!”
“No—I won’t get anywhere here. Might as well go where I can succeed.”
Lissa swallowed nervously. She’d had no idea it was this bad. “I think you’re interpreting this all wrong. Susan and I will still have to finish our three-year studies, the same as if we were here. Neither of us knows what Dr. Shastri expects from us, but whatever it is, we may fail at it.”
Louis shook his head in denial. “No, no, Shastri knows what he’s doing. It’s over for those who stay behind. We’ll be the second-raters.” He sipped his tea and stared down into his mug.
“Look, if you think I’m so smart,” Lissa said, trying to jar him out of his mood, “then you should believe me when I say you’re wrong. You just can’t give up now.
“You’re just saying that to be nice.”
“I’m not, Louis, really I’m not.” He was much worse than Alek had conveyed. “You can’t let feeling sorry for yourself get in the way. My going is no judgment on the rest of you.”
“Please leave me alone.”
Lissa felt angry. “Louis, you’ll be a real second-rater if you do this.”
“Thanks, but I can tell which way the wind is blowing around here. The rest of us feel the same way.”
Suddenly she wondered what Dr. Shastri was doing. There would be no class left, except for Susan and herself. It seemed cruel.
“He’ll get new students, eventually,” Louis continued, “and he’ll thin them out also. Maybe it’s even the right thing to do.”
“But you can still get an education.”
“That’s not all we came here for. If we can’t get close to the cutting edge of this project’s work, then it’s time to do something else. Don’t you see? I think Shastri’s judgment may be right.”
Lissa got up slowly. Coming here must not have meant that much to Louis to begin with, she thought as she left the dining room.