The Swear Jar (18 page)

Chapter Twenty

Leaving the office, Meara heard a
familiar voice.  She recognized it immediately.  She shook her head in
disbelief.  It was Russell McMahon.  He was by the Circulation Desk, chatting
with Tom and Lucy.

Russell waved.  “There’s the
miracle worker!  How are you, Miss Meara?”

“Good afternoon, Mr. McMahon.  I’m
fine.  I’m not sure how I’m a miracle worker.”

“I stopped by to wish Duncan a
Happy Birthday.  The old dog made it another year.  I heard you repainted the
Youth Services Room.  I couldn’t wait for next Friday.  I wanted to see if you
needed anything for the meeting.  I’m killing three birds with one stone.”

“Mr. Phillips is in his office if
you would like to speak with him.  And as far as the reorganizing of the Youth
Services Room, it was a group effort.  The staff and their spouses helped to
change the room.  That’s how a team works.  And thank you for your concern, Mr.
McMahon, but we have everything for the meeting.”  Her tone was politely
dripping with icicles.

Tom and Lucy backed away from Meara
and Russell.  Her dislike of Russell was evident.  Her loyalty to the library
made them proud.  Yet there was no need to be in the line of fire.  Sitting on
the loveseat in his office, Duncan heard Russell’s voice.  Shaking his head, Duncan
stood by the office door.  He listened to the exchange between Meara and
Russell.  He appreciated hearing the thinly veiled disdain in her voice.

“Russell?  Are you harassing my
staff?”  Duncan came forward.

“Duncan!  Happy Birthday!  I was in
the area and decided to drop by.  Meara explained how she rallied the troops. 
Mind if I borrow her to give me a tour?”

Duncan looked from Russell to
Meara.  She was sneering at Russell.  Duncan was surprised by her
uncharacteristic scorn.  When Russell turned to Meara, she smiled politely.

“That’s up to Miss Meara.  If she
has the time, she’s free to show you around.  While I appreciate Miss Meara
saying it was a group effort, she was indeed the one who rallied the troops to
get the job done.  We’re a team here and Miss Meara is an essential member of
that team.”

“Thank you, Mr. Phillips.  I enjoy
working here with my friends.  I would be happy to extend professional courtesy
to Mr. McMahon by showing him the Room.”  She could sound haughty when she
wanted.

“Lead the way, lovely lady,”
Russell said, winking at Duncan.

“He has a nasty habit of turning up
like a bad penny,” said Tom, when they were gone.

Duncan watched Russell follow
Meara.  Lucy watched Duncan.  Tom stood with his arms crossed.

“I could take him outside and beat
him up, if you want me to, Duncan,” Tom said.

“I think Meara can handle that
herself,” Lucy said.

Duncan strained to hear what
Russell was saying to Meara.  He couldn’t make out specific words.  He could
hear Russell laughing.  Sherrie stood by the Youth Services Desk with her arms
folded across her chest.  Duncan watched Sherrie.  She was frowning.  At one
point, she held her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh.  Russell’s
laughter ceased and it was quiet.  Duncan fought the urge to walk over there. 
Sherrie was rearranging papers on the desk, trying to act like she wasn’t
keeping an eye on Russell.  Suddenly, Sherrie looked shocked.  Lucy put her
hand on Duncan’s arm.

“You don’t know what’s going on
over there.  It might not be what you think.  Give Meara some credit,” Lucy
said.

Meara and Russell returned to the Youth
Services Desk.  Sherrie smiled wanly at him.  Meara patted him on the back
gently.  He touched Meara’s arm and headed back to the Circulation Desk.  He
had the biggest grin on his face as he practically skipped back to Duncan.

“Duncan, it was good to see you for
your birthday.  I hope you have as good a day as I’m having.  I’ll see you next
week!”  Russell waved goodbye.

Duncan snapped out of the daze. 
His head whipped down to see Sherrie following Meara into the office.  Sherrie
was throwing her hands up in exasperation.  He wanted to know what Russell had
said to Meara.  He followed Russell into the entryway space between the two
sets of doors.

“Russell?  What’s going on?  What
did you say to Miss Meara?” he asked casually.

“I’m not sure it’s any of your
business, Duncan.  Or is it?  Besides, what’s a little friendly competition
between libraries?  I’m serious about hiring Meara.  I’m sorry if that makes
you feel a little helpless.  I’m sure you have something to offer Meara I don’t
have.  Or do you?”

Duncan snapped.  “Russell, if you
think I’m going to let you take away the best thing that has ever happened to
me without a fight, you’re sorely mistaken.”

Russell pounced.  “Happened to
YOU?  Not happened to the library?  Thanks for the warning about mixing of
personal and professional.  Take care, Duncan.  You might be thinking things
that aren’t true.  Maybe you need to heed your own advice.  Miss Meara is a
passionate librarian.  She may not wait around.  Someone might take her away
from you.  I mean from your library.  Goodbye, Duncan.”

Tom and Lucy stood at the Circulation
Desk, listening to the two men.  When Duncan followed Russell, Tom phoned
Sherrie and Meara to come down. They all heard the exchange between Duncan and
Russell.  Meara went to intervene.

Sherrie grabbed her.  “No way, let
them fight it out.”

“What the hell are they fighting
about?”

“You, Meara.  Don’t you get it?”

“No, I don’t.  What the hell is
going on?”

“Russell wants you to work for
him.  Duncan’s willing to fight him for you.  I think they’re done.  Here comes
Duncan.”

His face was red.  He didn’t notice
them standing at the Circulation Desk.  He slammed his office door.  They stood
silently, bewildered.  Meara released herself from Sherrie’s grip and knocked
on his office door.

He growled.  “Not now.”

“Yes, now.  I’m coming in.”

He sat at his desk with his head in
his hands.  Looking up, he saw her frowning.  Her face was full of concern.

“Do you want to explain what just
happened?”

“Not really.”

“I insist.”

“I won’t stand in your way, Meara. 
If you want to work with Russell, I can understand.  A bigger library, more
money, more responsibility, and a younger man.”

“What the hell are you talking about? 
Are you out of your mind?  Where the hell is this coming from?  Help me here. 
You were standing at the Circulation Desk.  I gave Mr. McMahon the tour and
then I went to talk to Sherrie.  He left and you were yelling at him.  I’m
confused.”  She threw up her hands.

“I couldn’t hear what you two were
saying so I watched Sherrie.  First she frowned, then she laughed and then she
was shocked.  Did he ask you to work for him?  Did he ask you out?”

“So you got pissed off by watching
Sherrie?  She knows I can’t stand him.  He gets on my nerves.  I hate the way
he teases you.  That’s why she was frowning.  I got annoyed with his cloying
attitude, so I mimed sticking my finger down my throat.  That’s why she
laughed.  Yes, he asked me to work for him.  I told him no.  I told him he was
an idiot for waiting this long to fill the position.  I stuck my finger in his
face and told him it was a shame he couldn’t get his act together for the sake
of the children in his community.  He pushed my buttons and my temper got the
better of me.  I’m sorry.  I know he’s your colleague and I should have shown
some restraint.”

“Then what happened?  Russell said
he was having a very good day.”

“I’m not sure what he means.  He
was probably trying to get you worked up which he obviously did.  After I
rejected his job offer, he asked me out to lunch, socially, not
professionally.  I told him I wouldn’t go out with him either way.  I told him
I’m seeing someone.  I have a boyfriend.”

He stood up.  “You told him you
have a boyfriend?”

She blushed.  “Yes, I did.  It’s
true, isn’t it?  It’s not official, but it’s what you are.  Or am I wrong?”

He held her hands.  “Russell was
acting to cover his disappointment.  He was baiting me.  Did you tell him I was
your boyfriend?”

“No.  I don’t know what Russell thinks. 
What was that about not standing in my way?  What the heck are you talking
about?”

“I don’t have as much to offer you
as Russell does.”  He hung his head.

“Let’s get something straight right
now.  I’m happy here professionally, end of story.  And as far as any romantic
interest in Russell, no way.  He’s not boyfriend material.  And sure as hell,
he’s no Duncan Phillips.”

He cradled her face.  “I’m your
boyfriend?”

“Yes, if you want to be.  Are you
my boyfriend?”  The butterflies were rioting in her stomach.

“Yes.”

She wanted to tell him she loved
him.  She was so afraid.  She wanted to take the leap while she could be
brave.  Her mind screamed no, but her heart told her yes.  She shyly looked
into his eyes.  She got lost in those eyes and everything made sense.  She was
safe.

“Good because there’s something
else I want to tell you.  I love you,” she whispered.

His face lit up as he squeezed her
close.  “Meara!  You do?  I wasn’t sure how you felt.  I wanted to wait until I
knew you were feeling the same way.  I didn’t want to push you.  I love you
too.”

He lifted her chin so he could see
her face.  She looked relieved he had said it too.  He had been right to wait
for her to say it first.  Grinning mischievously, he kissed her deeply.

“Did you think we would make out if
I didn’t care about you?  You’re sexy as hell, yes, but I do have some
self-respect, you know.”  She sounded haughty again.

“I still owe you a spanking.”  He
growled.

“I’d like to see you try, mister.” 
She giggled.

Rubbing her back, he nuzzled her
neck.  “That giggle.  Do you know how many cold showers I’ve had since meeting
you?”

“I’m sorry.  I was planning on
relieving your tension in the pool tonight.”  She bowed her head.

“You were, were you?  I have a lot
of tension.  Any chance we could go somewhere and explore some
tension-releasing techniques?”  He hoped he hadn’t gone too far.

He didn’t want to frighten her and
rush things, but losing his temper and finding out she loved him had made him
bold.  He desired her.  He wanted to make love with her.  He wanted her to be
his.

“Where did you have in mind?” she
whispered.

“My house?”  He raised an eyebrow.

“When?”  Her heart was pounding.

“Now.  We’re talking about the same
thing, aren’t we?” he asked.

“Yes.”  She felt faint.

“Let’s go now.”  Smirking, he
pushed her out his office door.

Blushing, Meara walked past Tom,
Lucy and Sherrie, silently shaking her head.  Duncan exited his office and
locked the door.  He turned to the trio at the Circulation Desk.  He looked
extremely happy.

“We’re leaving now.  I’m taking my
girlfriend home.  I mean out.  I mean we won’t be back,” he grinned.

Meara returned.  “Sherrie, can you
lock up for me?”

Sherrie nodded, speechless.  Duncan
took Meara’s hand and led her out to the parking lot.  There was silence in the
library as they tried to process the situation.

“What just happened?” asked Lucy,
breaking the awkward silence.

“You’re about to lose the bet,” Tom
chuckled.

“They’re boyfriend and girlfriend
now?” asked Sherrie.

“It’s about time.  I was growing
old watching them dance around each other,” said Tom.

“In a strange way, I’m glad Russell
showed up today,” said Lucy.

“Happy birthday, Duncan.  Lucky
guy.  Or he soon will be,” Tom said solemnly.

“Tom!” said Lucy and Sherrie
together.

Duncan and Meara walked hand in
hand to the parking lot.  He asked her to follow him to his house.  He drove
carefully, watching for her in the rearview mirror.  After they pulled into the
driveway, he went to her Jeep and helped her out.  They walked hand in hand up
the path to the front porch.

She asked, “Is it all right to park
there?  I don’t know if you want the neighbors to see a strange car in your
driveway.”

He shook his head.  “I don’t care
what the neighbors think.  It’s fine right there.”

He led her to the front porch where
he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her deeply.  He nibbled her
upper lip.  He pushed her up against the front door.

She giggled.  “You really don’t
care what the neighbors think.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t believe it
anyway.  Welcome to my home.  Can I give you a quick tour?” he asked as he
opened the door.

“Of course.  I’d like that,” she
replied, still breathless.

He led her to the living room. 
There were several framed pictures on a table.  She asked him to name the people
for her.

Chapter Twenty-One

“These are the boys when they were
younger.  This is Andrew and this is Sean.  This is Andrew now with his wife
Lisa and my grandson, John.  This is Sean a few years ago.  And this is
Brenda.”

She picked up Brenda’s picture
while he stood behind her.  “She’s beautiful.  I can see why you love her.”

He felt an ache in his chest.  She
had said love in the present tense.  It was true, he loved Brenda, but he loved
Meara too.  It hadn’t seemed complicated when he first realized he loved Meara,
but now he worried she wouldn’t appreciate sharing him with Brenda.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good
idea.  To come here.”  He grimaced.

“Why?  Brenda will always be a part
of your life.  You can’t hide from it.  I would never ask you to put her away. 
Loving her makes it possible for you to love me.  I’m so grateful to her for
that.”

He felt another ache.  Meara
understood.  She truly understood.  He realized how lucky he was to have met
her.  There was no one else like her.  And she loved him.  He slipped his arms
around her waist and buried his face in her hair.

“Thank you for understanding.”  His
eyes teared up.

She put Brenda’s picture down and
faced him.  “I love you, Duncan.”

“I love you, Meara,” he whispered.

He led her into a simple and neat
kitchen.  Meara thought it was strange the kitchen lacked personal touches.  He
led her into the family room.  It had a dark brown sectional couch.  He sat and
pulled her down next to him.

“May I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“This house looks more like a
bachelor pad than a family home.  Where are all the homey touches?”

“Before she died, Brenda had us
remove her things.  My daughter-in-law redecorated the house, on Brenda’s
instruction.  I didn’t have much say in the matter.  Lisa doesn’t know I kept
some of Brenda’s things.  If she found out, she’d get rid of them.”

“That’s terrible!  I’m sorry,
Duncan.  I know Brenda meant well.  That wasn’t fair to you.  You aren’t the
type to sweep away the memories of the past.  We all need time to heal and
having little reminders around you sometimes helps.  Picking at the wound helps
it to heal.  Ignoring it won’t help.  It’ll only get infected and ugly.  Not
the best description, but you get the idea.”

“Do you still get upset?”

“I’ve had my moments over the
years.  He’s in the past now.  He doesn’t affect my present or my future.  You
do.”

He cleared his throat.  “I can’t
stop thinking about you.  I want to be with you all the time.  I want to hear
you laugh, hold your hand, make love with you.”

She slid closer to him, running her
hands through his hair.  She massaged his ears and his neck, touching the bare
skin of his chest where his shirt was open.  He pulled her closer.  He ran his
hands over her buttocks.

“We have two choices.  Stay here
and wind up naked or go upstairs and wind up naked.  Do you have a
preference?”  He nibbled her lips.

“This couch is comfy, but I’d like
to see your bedroom.”  She lowered her voice to a pleasant purr.

He led her upstairs, pausing on the
landing.  He pressed her against the wall.  She could tell he was aroused. 
Placing his hands on her hips, he guided her upstairs in front of him.  Her
heart was beating.  She didn’t want to be disrespectful, but she hoped his
bedroom wouldn’t contain memories of Brenda.  She hoped it wasn’t a mistake to
be in his home.  As they entered the bedroom, she was relieved yet saddened to
see Lisa had done her work in his bedroom too.

The sparsely furnished room was
definitely masculine.  It had serene blue walls with a dresser and an armoire. 
The bed had a dark wooden headboard.  The bedclothes were blue and chocolate
brown.  A beautiful afghan was draped at the foot of the bed.  Its granny
squares were similar in color to the bedclothes.   It was the one homey touch
in the room.

“What do you think?” he whispered,
holding her close.

“Lisa has excellent taste.  Did she
let you pick out anything?”

“I insisted with this room.  I like
everything in here, including you.  Now it’s not so lonely anymore.”  He
nuzzled her neck.

“You’re not alone.  There’s no need
to be lonely anymore.  I’m here and I love you.”  She faced him.

He kissed her hands.  “I love you,
Meara.  I want to make love with you.”

She nodded, her hands going under
his shirt and over his chest.  She pulled the shirt off over his head.  He had
light wisps of reddish blonde hair on his chest.  There was naked desire in her
eyes as he pulled her shirt off.  She had one hand rubbing the front of his
jeans while the other was trying to undo his belt buckle.

She was frustrated.  “Damn it.  Why
can’t I get it open?”

“Let me help.”  He pulled the belt
from his jeans, folding it in half.  “How about that spanking?”

Her eyes widened with delight. 
“Oh.”

“Next time.”  He dropped the belt
and kissed her deeply.

She succeeded in opening his
jeans.  With her fingertips, she followed the line of fine reddish blonde hair
down his chest.  The hair was darker and thicker around his belly button.  Her
hands trembled as she worked his jeans off his hips.  She gave a low moan.  She
worked her hands inside his underwear.  Her heart was pounding as she gently
tugged off his underwear.  She put her hands on him and massaged him.

He pushed her pants and underwear
over her hips and onto the floor.  He fumbled, determined to unhook her bra. 
It was difficult to concentrate with her touching him.  He took a deep breath
and pulled off her bra triumphantly.  He groaned at the sight of her soft,
round breasts.  He wanted to bury his face in them.  He wanted to suck on her
nipples.  His passion growing, he wanted to be inside her.  He nudged her onto
the bed.  He froze.

Meara panicked.  “What’s wrong?”

Duncan held her shoulders.  “I
don’t have protection.  Do you have any?”

“No.  I never even thought about
it,” she blushed.  “I do have a confession.  I’m on the pill.  Diana and Dr.
Wong tag-teamed me.”

Relieved, he kissed her.  “Thank
you, Diana and Dr. Wong.”

“Duncan?  Is there anything I
should know?  I can’t believe I’m asking this.”

“You’re completely right to ask. 
No, I don’t have anything.  Is the pill enough?  Do you want me to get
additional protection?”  He struggled to control himself.

He wanted their first time to be
perfect.  He wanted her to be comfortable.  He wanted her.

“No, it’s fine.  Now where was I? 
Oh, yes,” she murmured.

She ran her fingers down his chest,
following the path of the light reddish hairs to the thicker, darker blonde
hairs just below his belly button.  She wasn’t going to be distracted again. 
He wasn’t going to last much longer if she kept touching him.  He stopped her
by holding her wrists.  He lowered her onto her back and slipped between her
legs.

He groaned, burying his face in her
breasts, covering them with kisses.  She ran her hands through his hair.  He
took her nipple into his mouth and used his thumb to play with the other.  Eyes
closed, she was breathing heavily.  He sucked the nipple of the other breast. 
He carefully bit it.  Her back arched.  She pulled him close.  They kissed.

“Are you sure?”  He breathed into
her ear.

“Yes.  Yes, Duncan.  Please.”  Nodding
her head, she was begging, pleading.

She guided him between her legs. 
With slight pressure and a gentle thrust, he was inside her.  They both gasped,
locking eyes as the world melted away.  He wrapped his arms around her, hugging
her tight.  She wrapped her legs around his waist, moving her hips towards
him.  Encouraged, he rolled his hips towards her.  She closed her eyes.  He
kept his eyes open, wanting to watch her.  He was going to satisfy her before
he reached orgasm himself.  She moved her hips again, running her hands over
his body.

She made low moaning noises.  She
arched her back and rolled her hips towards him.  Suddenly, she went rigid and
held her breath.  He recognized this from other encounters.  She was
orgasming.  He kept thrusting, but he didn’t want to hurt her.  He wasn’t
expecting what happened next.  She exploded in his arms.  Like the time on her
couch, her first orgasm was just a prelude to a wild ride.  Her hands were
everywhere.  She made encouraging groans and moans.  Pleasing her was turning
him on even more than he thought it would.

She gripped the comforter with her
fists while thrusting her hips towards him.  She orgasmed again.  He watched
the intense passion on her face.  Knowing he was the reason why she was losing
control made him feel alive.  Thrusting wildly, he struggled to hold onto her. 
Her breathing stopped.  She shuddered against him as another orgasm took her. 
Groaning, he lost control and orgasmed.  He closed his eyes, held onto her and
rode the wave of pleasure that came over him.  They looked at each other.  She
pulled him down, kissing him deeply.

“Are you all right?” he whispered.

She giggled.  “Yes, Duncan.  Are
you?”

He nuzzled her neck and let out a
long exhale.  “That giggle.  I’m extremely happy.”

She patted the bed next to her.  He
slid down beside her.  He pulled her into an embrace with her head resting on
his chest.  She ran her hands across his body, exploring it.  She tenderly
touched the heavier hair above his belly button.  She attempted to go
dangerously lower, but he trapped her hand and kissed it.

He sighed.  “Please.  Let me
recover before you drive me crazy again.”

“I’ll try to behave.  I can’t help
myself with you around.”

“Keep your hands where I can see
them.  I’m not sure I’ll be able to behave myself with you next to me.”

She placed her leg over his leg. 
She moved herself as close as she could get.  He held her hand on his chest. 
Their breathing was slowing down.  She listened to his heartbeat.  She smiled
when he began to snore lightly.  His snoring got louder and her smile got
wider.  It was crazy, but it sounded like music to her.  She covered them with
the blanket, snuggling close to him.  She dozed lightly.

She woke up, not sure where she was
at first.  His snoring had quieted down.  He was fast asleep.  She remembered
her clothes were strewn across the floor.  She disengaged herself from his
embrace and carefully slid from the bed.  She picked up her underwear and
pants.  She covered herself as she looked for the rest of her clothes.

His voice came from the bed.  “If
you need the bathroom, it’s to your right.  I forgot to include it on the
tour.”

Her heart sank.  The butterflies
were screaming in her stomach.  He didn’t want her to stay.  She wondered if he
had gotten what he wanted and was now done with her.  She couldn’t believe he
would do that, but she wasn’t sure.  She had been wrong in her life before when
it came to love.  Eyes filling with tears, she picked up her clothes and held
them to cover herself.  She picked up her shoes.

He sat straight up in bed.  “What
are you doing?  Are you going somewhere?”

“I thought…We’re done…Don’t you
want me to leave?”

“Leave?  What are you talking
about?  I don’t want you to leave.”  Duncan pushed the blanket down, edging
closer to Meara.

She could see his naked chest and a
hint of alluring hair below his belly button.  She couldn’t concentrate.  She
took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.  I don’t know what your
expectations are.  I didn’t know if you wanted me to stay or not.”

“Meara, you’re my girlfriend and I
love you.  When I bring you home and we make love, I expect you to stay.  Do
you understand?  I expect you to be here when I wake up.  Not slinking away
like a stranger.”  Hurt, he struggled to control his anger.

“Yes, Duncan.  I understand. 
Please don’t be upset with me,” she cooed.

“I’m not.  I don’t want you to
leave.  Now come back to bed.”  He leaned against the pillows and patted the
space next to him.

He was aroused again.  The blanket
hinted at a lump below his belly button.  Her face went blank as she edged to
the side of the bed.  She pulled the blanket to cover herself, letting her
clothes fall to the floor.  She slipped back into bed.  He slid closer to her,
pressing against her.  There was no mistaking he was ready to make love again. 
He kissed her and grabbed her buttocks.  She nibbled his lip, running her hand
along his jaw and neck.  The sound of a cell phone froze them in place.

“It’s not mine.  I’d get calls on
the house phone,” he said.

“Oh, crap.  What time is it?  It
has to be Diana.”

“Then answer it.”

She wrapped the afghan from the
foot of the bed around herself.  It hugged her curves.  He watched her look for
the cell phone.  The afghan had been Brenda’s favorite and now Meara was
wearing it.  The granny squares revealed hints of alluring skin.  She was
absolutely sexy.  He exhaled deeply.  Ever since Brenda had died, he had felt a
small knot in his chest.  Now it unraveled.

“Thank you, Brenda,” he whispered,
his eyes misting.