The Swear Jar (32 page)
Authors: Audra Osorio
A few hours later, he heard the low
mewling sound he had heard at the Shore house. While sleeping, she had pulled
away, leaving a gap between them. The mewling became louder. She was having a
nightmare. She hadn’t told them what the recent nightmares were about, but he
remembered the one at the Shore house.
“Meara?” He touched her on the
shoulder.
She was rigid. She couldn’t move.
She was in a deep dream.
“Duncan? Where are you?” she
asked.
“Meara, where are you?”
“At the Shore house, in our
bedroom. I tried everywhere. Where are you?”
“I’m right here.”
“No. Why do you disappear? Where
are you?”
“Meara, come to me. I’m here.”
“I don’t see you,” she cried.
“What did I do wrong? Why are you gone?”
“I’m right here. I love you. Come
to me. I’m in your bed at home. Do you see me now?”
“There’s someone in the bed. If I
touch you, you’ll disappear.”
“I promise I won’t disappear. I’ll
hold your hand. Trust me.”
“No. You’ll disappear again.
Please don’t leave me,” she sobbed.
She was paralyzed. He pulled her
into his arms. She was frightening him. She didn’t respond to his touch.
“Meara! Listen to me. I’m right
here in your bed. You need to reach out and take my hand. You’re scaring me.
Take my hand so you can wake up. Do it now.”
He held her hand tightly, rocking
her back and forth. He had tears in his eyes. He had no idea the nightmares
were this bad.
“Duncan. There you are.” Her
sobbing stopped, but she was still asleep. “I found you.”
“Yes, sweetheart, you did it. You
found me.” He kissed her forehead and caressed her face. “Wake up, Meara. Wake
up.”
Her body relaxed. She could move
again. Her eyes opened.
“What happened?” she asked.
“You were having a nightmare. How
long has this been going on?”
“The first one was at the Shore
house. Every night since then, I’ve had one.”
“Even the night we had the argument
and you slept downstairs? You had one then?”
“Yes. They’ve gotten worse. One
night, I woke up screaming. In the dream, I’m looking for you and when I reach
out for you, you disappear. It makes me sick to my stomach.”
“You have an ulcer. We’ll fix
that. What happened in this dream?”
“I was at the Shore house again. I
heard you calling me. Then I was here. You wanted me to hold your hand. I
was afraid, but you told me to do it. I trusted you and when I took your hand,
you were there. Then you were telling me to wake up.”
“I’m worried. It sounds like
nightmare or dream anxiety disorder. When you wake up, you remember the
dreams. Your lack of sleeping and eating is affecting you, making you
anxious. I don’t like the sleep paralysis. You couldn’t move. I’m sorry,
Meara.” Squeezing her close, he kissed her.
“Why am I having these nightmares?”
“Have you ever had recurring
nightmares before?”
“No.”
“And the first one was at the Shore
house?”
“Yes.”
“I snuck out the night you had the
first one. If you were anxious and I left you alone, you may have sensed I was
gone. Then in your dream, you started to look for me. The dream may have been
my fault.”
“I didn’t know you left. It’s
possible I sensed it, but it’s no reason for me to have it over and over
again.”
“But then we had the argument. I
hope spending time together gets rid of the nightmares. If we do, you may not
have them again.”
“Are you sure you’re not making
excuses to spend the weekend with me? I noticed how you invited yourself
over. Or are you my Dr. Duncan now? I’m a very sick patient, Dr. Duncan. I
know you have what can cure me.” She giggled, holding her hand to her
forehead.
“It will take intensive diagnostic
screening and unorthodox methods of treatment, but I have a cure. Now please
hold still while I examine you. MEARA! I can’t believe how easily you drive
me crazy. Yes, I did invite myself over. I want to be with you. I missed
you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to upset you. I love you.”
“I love you too. I should have
listened to you. I’m sorry I pushed you away.”
“You’re pretty good at being mean
when you want, Lady Meara. I don’t want to fight with you. We’ll discuss this
calmly. Since June, I’ve been seeing your tender side and now, I’ve seen your
feisty side. I don’t like being your target. Let’s see if we can clip your
sharp claws a little, my sweet little kitten.” Holding her in his arms, he
kissed her gently.
“You have it bad if you think I’m a
sweet little kitten. I’m more like a bad-tempered hellcat. I have been a
little feisty lately. It was going to come out sooner or later. I’m not the
only one with a temper. You have physical passion for me, but it’s nice to see
you have emotional passion as well, Mr. Green-Eyed Monster.”
“Of course I do. Doesn’t a little
bit of jealousy come with the territory? I want to be the only one to make you
purr, even if you’re a hellcat at times. Since we’re all snuggled up here in
bed, may I tell you a bedtime story?”
“I could use a saucer of milk and
an ear scritch,” she giggled. “Are you sure you don’t want to examine me
first, Dr. Duncan?”
“There’ll be time for that later.
Let me tell you a story.”
She cuddled close. “I’m ready.”
“Once upon a time, there was a
mild-mannered scholar who loved books. He liked to dream about faraway
places. He was not an adventurous person by nature, so he stayed close to
home. He met a wonderful, caring woman. They fell in love and married. Their
life together was good and they had two strong sons. The scholar loved his
wife, but as time went on, he longed for adventure.”
“Like Bilbo Baggins, in a way.”
“Yes. Now please don’t interrupt,”
he smirked.
She rolled her eyes and stuck out
her tongue.
“The scholar worked hard and put
away his desire for adventure. Then his wife became ill and died after a long
illness. He missed her very much and he wanted to be left alone. He buried
himself in books. His heart was heavy and he grew old. He put the thought of
adventures out of his mind.
“Then one day, he met a lady. She
was beautiful. When she smiled, it was like the sun was shining just for him.
She had beautiful blue eyes and hair the color of warm sand. When she looked
into his eyes, it was as if the world stopped turning. It was just the two of
them in that moment. And she only had eyes for him. He became her knight in
shining armor.
“She made his heart beat again. He
always wanted to be with her. He had been so lonely. She had made him happier
than he had ever been just by being herself. He had loved his wife, but this
lady was in his heart. No, this lady was his heart. Over time, the knight
learned the lady loved him too. He couldn’t believe his luck.
“But a wicked witch poisoned his
mind by speaking what he feared most. He wasn’t afraid the lady would leave
him. She loved him too much for that. He was afraid of growing old again.
His lady had made him feel truly alive for the first time in his life. He
never wanted to be without her. It would break his heart.”
Choking up, Duncan stopped speaking.
Meara’s eyes were filled with tears.
“Did they live happily ever after?”
she whispered.
“I don’t know. The ending isn’t
written yet. Their story isn’t over. The knight is wandering now. He’s lost
without his lady and hopes she will take him back.”
“Of course she will. She never
really let him go. Even when she was saying some pretty awful things, she
still loved her knight. She hopes the knight will come back to her after his
adventure.”
“But Meara, the lady is the
knight’s adventure. Everything about her is so new to him, so different from
anyone he’s known before. He can’t wait to see what she’ll do next. He’s
amazed by her. Their greatest adventure will be to hold hands and fight the
dragons together.”
“I’m sure the lady would love
nothing more than to have her knight beside her. I know she wants to be in his
arms and to have him kiss her.”
“Kissing his lady is very
dangerous. It makes him want to do other things with her. He’s not sure if
it’s the right time to do that.”
She shifted in his arms, reaching
up and pulling him to her. She kissed him. She ran her hands into his hair.
He returned her kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“It’s the right time, Sir Duncan.
Your lady needs you. She wants you,” she whispered.
He pulled her to her knees. He
quickly had his hands under her pajama top, kissing her with a sense of
urgency. He had missed their intimacy and he ached to touch her. She kissed
him deeply, slipping her hands inside his underwear. She was delighted to find
he was aroused. He pulled her pajama top off and sucked hungrily on her
nipples. She pushed his underwear off over his hips. He pushed down her
panties and nuzzled her neck. She pulled off his shirt.
They looked into each other’s
eyes. She lay back among the pillows while he pushed between her knees. He
kissed her and entered her with an insistent thrust. She gasped, running her
hands over his chest. She nodded her head encouragingly. He thrust as she
lifted her hips. The urgency increased and she lost control.
“Duncan. Yes, Duncan. Please,”
she cried, her back rigid. “Oh!”
Breathing heavily, she braced
herself against the headboard. She continued to thrust her hips, moaning
softly. He grunted loudly while he orgasmed. She let go of the headboard and
rocked with his last few thrusts. She took his face in her hands. She kissed
him deeply, nibbling on his upper lip. She giggled.
He slid down beside her. “Why are
you giggling?”
“It’s true what they say. Whoever
they are.”
“What do they say?”
“They say makeup sex can be
fantastic.”
“What do they say about makeup
tickle fights?” he asked.
He ran his hands down her sides and
behind her knees. He knew her weak spots. She laughed, trying to pull away
from him. He hit a sensitive spot behind her left knee and she squealed. She
tried desperately to wriggle out of his reach, but he pulled her back and
pinned her arms with his hand. He held her down. She was breathing heavily.
“Do you give up?” he asked.
“No.” She struggled, but he held
her fast. “Okay, I give up.”
“That was too easy. If I let you
go, you’ll behave?”
“Sure.”
“I don’t trust you. You have that
look in your eyes.”
“What look?” she asked innocently.
“The look that tells me if I let
you go, you’ll attack me.”
“Smart man. So how do we declare a
truce?”
“Forget truce. I declare myself
victor and still king of the tickle fights.” He kissed her, but kept her
pinned.
“How about this? I declare you the
winner, you let me go and I tell you a bedtime story?”
“Deal.” He waited. “Go on.”
“I declare Duncan Phillips to be
the victor and king of the tickle fights!”
He released her and she cuddled up
with him.
“I’ll behave for now. Are you
ready for your bedtime story?” she asked.
“Almost.”
He relaxed against the pillows.
Her head rested on his chest. He pulled the blanket over them.
“Now you may begin,” he said.
“Once upon a time, there was a
young peasant girl. She lived in a hard-working family. She loved books. She
wanted to go places and to see things. She studied hard and made her father
proud. He wanted more for his daughter than he had growing up. But the father
was sad and one day, he took his own life.
“The girl had to take care of her
family. She made sure her family was happy. The girl wanted more for her little
sister than she had. One day, a prince came to the village. He was smitten
with the girl because she seemed so sad. He was charming and kind. He courted
her because she was like a bird with a broken wing. He wanted to fix her. She
thought he loved her, so she began to love him.
“His family was not pleased with
the prince’s choice. The parents thought the girl only wanted the comforts of
being a prince’s wife. But the girl didn’t care about riches. She only wanted
someone to love her for herself.”
“The prince and the girl were
married. The girl soon realized the prince did not love her the way she wanted
to be loved. The prince saw the girl as a toy, something to be played with and
then set aside on a shelf. His interest waned.
“The prince had affection for the
girl, but he didn’t love her. It was maddening that he withheld his love.
Trapped, the girl lived without love and alone. Who would believe the
charming, kind prince was horrible? No one would believe her. Then one day,
the prince fell ill and died.
“She was sad he had died, but she
was also relieved. She never believed she would find anyone to love her. So
she did what she knew best. She took care of her family. The girl was loved
by her family, but she longed for the one who would speak to her heart.
“Then one day, her knight appeared,
standing next to her with the deepest green eyes she had ever seen. She got
lost in those eyes. His smile made his eyes dance. Her heart was slow to love
him, but he was patient, kind and loving. He quietly let his feelings be known
and he never overwhelmed her. Even the day he kissed her hand, the knight
never made demands on her affections. She was being courted and she hoped this
time was different.
“The feelings she had for the
knight were returned. She found love to be a powerful thing when it was
between two equals. The knight wanted to make a life together with the girl.
One day, an evil witch put doubt into the knight’s mind. The girl listened to
the knight speak his doubts and all she could hear were the prince’s false
words. She pushed the knight away and ran. Had she been tricked again? Had
the knight lied? Was she a fool?
“The further away she got from her
knight, the more pain she felt. Doubt in her mind too, she feared she had
pushed the knight away forever. She couldn’t eat or sleep knowing she had been
wrong. She could blame it on the witch, but she had made her own mistakes.
She waited for the knight to return.”
She cried, tears sliding down her
cheeks. He pulled her close and held her chin. He covered her tears with
kisses, taking them away. He shook his head and made her look into his eyes.
“No more pain. No more sadness.
No more doubt. Your knight has returned. And you’re not a peasant girl. You’re
a much loved lady. Your prince was a fool, a court jester. He didn’t deserve
you and not for the last time, I wish I could punch him. Things are making
more sense now I know your story. We have a lot to work on, but we’ll do it
together. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” She tried not to cry, but
the tears were still slipping down her cheeks.
He continued to kiss them away.
“He abused you. He may not have harmed you physically, but he was abusing you
by ignoring you and refusing to be intimate with you. He played games with
your emotions. You know I would never do that?”
“I know. You aren’t him.”
“Damn right I’m not. If I had ever
met him and found out what he was doing to you, I would have killed him.”
“If you had been able to meet him,
we wouldn’t be in love. And I would never have told anyone. Please don’t tell
Diana or Ben.”
“Meara, I would like to believe
even if we weren’t in love, I would be your friend. Even if you didn’t tell
me, I would figure it out. And I would do something about it. I won’t tell
Diana or Ben, but you may want to at some point.”
“Diana knows something was wrong,
but not how much it hurt me.” Calmer, she snuggled into his chest.
“You never learned to fight for
yourself. I thought you would stay and fight with me at the Shore house. When
you left, I couldn’t understand it, but now I do. I won’t let you run again.
I thought I was giving you space to think. I should have gone after you.
Until you learn to fight, I’ll follow you. It doesn’t mean I’ll do what you
want, but I won’t let you curl up into a ball and waste away. Understood?”
“Yes, Duncan.” She sounded so
sleepy, it calmed him down too.
They settled back against the
pillows. He held onto her as she drifted off to sleep. He was upset by her
story and needed time to think about what she had told him. He hated Hank. He
fell asleep watching her hold her bent index finger to her lips. He sighed,
falling into a deep sleep.
He awoke to muffled sounds. It was
early morning. She wasn’t in bed with him. In the daylight, he looked at her
bedroom. There was a wooden dresser with a large mirror and a blue slider
rocking chair in a corner. There were two nightstands with lamps, on each side
of the bed. The bed was only a full-sized bed. The comforter and sheets were
soft cotton and had a floral pattern with pinks and blues.
The walls were stark white, without
any decoration. He was surprised at how little of her personality showed in
this private space. Her dresser held pictures of Diana, Ben and Anne. There
was a jewelry box as well as a few knickknacks. His attention was drawn to her
walk-in closet. He heard quiet shuffling. He sat up against the headboard and
waited. When she appeared, she had on her pajama top and panties. He was a
little disappointed she wasn’t naked. She was startled at first and then she
smiled.
“I was trying to be quiet. I hope
I didn’t wake you,” she said.
She held some casual clothes. She came
over and sat on his side of the bed.
She kissed him. “Good morning, sweetheart.
Did you sleep well?”
“I did. I was waking up anyway.
What are you doing?”
“I was going to take a shower and
go to the gym. Want to come? I can bring a guest.”
“I was thinking of taking you to
breakfast at Lynn’s Café, but I’ll go to the gym with you. Meara, I have two
questions I should have asked you yesterday.”
“Go ahead. Ask.”
“Is this the bed you shared with
Hank?” he asked, uncomfortably.
“No. I got rid of that bed soon
after Hank passed away. This bed and that dresser are furniture my parents
gave me years ago. Hank and I were never together in this bed. You’re the
only one.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Sir Duncan. You’re the only
one to have your way with me in this bed,” she blushed.
He stroked her cheek. “Good.”
“What’s your other question?”
Blushing himself, he squeaked, “Are
you still on the pill?”
She laughed and hugged him. “Yes,
I’m still taking it. You poor thing, you must have been worried. I thought I
would finish this cycle and then decide if I wanted to keep taking it.”
“I wasn’t worried. I wanted to
make sure you were protected.”
“I’m still not convinced I could
get pregnant.”
“Can I ask you another question?”
“I thought it was only two?” She
crossed her arms.
“I thought of another one. Or is
there a limit?” He teased.
“Go ahead.”
“Do you regret not having children
with Hank?”
“No.” The answer came quickly.
“Do you regret not having
children?”
The answer came slowly this time.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure I would be good at it. Anne tries my patience.
I’m not sure I was meant to be a mother.”
“I see how you are with Anne, the
children at the library and even those boys at the beach. You would make a
great mother.”
“Thank you, Duncan. I would like
to believe that. I don’t think motherhood is in my future.” She dropped her
head.
He lifted her chin. “Don’t rule
anything out. I never believed I would love someone as much as I love you.
And here I am. With you in my life, I believe anything is possible.”
“Are you saying you’d have a baby
with me?” Her eyes clouded.
“If we decided that’s what we want
to do, then yes,” he replied.
Her eyes filled with tears. “I
never thought I would find someone who loved me for me. You’re crazy, but
wonderful. We should slow down on the major life changing events and work on
little things first. Like the gym and breakfast.”
He laughed. “You win for now.
What do you suggest?”
“A shower.” She held up her hand.
“Correction, showers, plural. Down boy. Lower those eyebrows of yours. Then
a light snack and off to the gym. You can go first in this shower, go second
or use the hallway bathroom’s shower. You’re my guest, it’s your choice.”
“You go first and I’ll follow. Can
I stake out a space on your bathroom sink for my stuff? I’m staying all
weekend.” Crossing his arms, he tried to look tough.
“Yes, put your stuff in the
bathroom. I’ll give you space in the dresser. I moved your suit into the
closet. We’ll have to go food shopping at some point. Or is the trip to the
gym the only time we’ll be seen outside of the house?” She smiled.
“There’s that dimple. Are you sure
you want to go to the gym? There are several other things we could do right
here to get a good workout.” He kissed her.
“There’s plenty of time for that.
Let’s have some fun in town today.”
“Meara?”
“Yes, Duncan?”
“I’m sorry about your father. Do
you want to talk about it?”
“Thank you, Duncan. I don’t want
to talk about it now. I may tell you more some other time. Not right now, I’m
too happy to be sad. You know what food I have, so help yourself. There should
be coffee somewhere. I’ll be quick.” She kissed him.
She bounded off to the bathroom.
The sound of water signaled she was in the shower. He was tempted to join
her. He wanted another chance to lather her body like he had at the Shore
house. He took a deep breath and shook his head. She made it clear she wanted
to go out. He pulled on his underwear and t-shirt. He unpacked his bag and
set the clothes out on the bed. He found his suit in her closet, hung close to
the door. She had pushed aside her clothes to make room for his. He smiled.
She wanted him there.
The last item out of his overnight
bag was the Skeeball teddy bear. He propped the bear against the pillows. It
was the right place for the bear. With one last longing look at the bathroom
door, he padded out to the living room. The Swear Jar on the fireplace mantel
had more coins and bills in it than the last time he had seen it. His grin
reflected in the mirror behind the Swear Jar. She had been busy and Anne would
be pleased.
He set up the coffee maker in the
kitchen. He found her tea and set up a cup for her. He inhaled the sweet
scent of her flowers sitting on the kitchen counter. He padded back down the
hallway. He passed the hall bathroom. It was as bland as Meara’s bedroom. He
peeked into the bedroom across the hall. It held a twin-sized bed and a small
dresser. The bed had a brightly colored blue comforter with a row of rainbow
colored pillows. This must be the spare bedroom and the usual guest was Anne.
The last room along the hallway
looked like an office. A small desk held a computer and pictures of Diana and
Meara as children, Diana, Ben and Anne, and probably her parents. There were
no pictures of Hank. There were shelves against the wall. They held children’s
books as well as novels. He recognized the authors, realizing they had similar
tastes. She had a collection of classics as well.
There were other shelves filled
with stuffed animals and puppets. They called to him. He marveled at her
collection of teddy bears and puppets. Each inhabitant looked like it belonged
and each one had a special spot. He could tell she loved each one dearly.
“The chipmunk over there is my
favorite,” she said from behind him.
He jumped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t
mean to snoop. I saw the shelves from the door and I had to come in. I hope
you don’t mind.”
He had forgotten how quickly she
took showers. He turned to see her standing in the doorway. A towel wrapped
around her came to mid-thigh, revealing her shapely legs. She had on a pair of
flip flops. Her short hair was wet, but neatly combed. Her breasts were
threatening to pop out of the towel. He caught his breath.
“I don’t mind,” she replied. “I
didn’t find you going through my underwear or paying my bills online. The
first would creepy, but I would appreciate the second.”
“I’ll avoid the first one. I
prefer to let you choose your own underwear. I’ll stick to taking them off
you. I’m not so good at paying my own bills, so I’ll leave that one to you
too. What’s so special about the chipmunk?”
“Chippy is my first puppet. Diana
bought him for me as a gift. I can make him look like he’s plotting mischief.
Let me show you.” She maneuvered the chipmunk’s head and arms.
“That’s wonderful! People who can
bring imagination into children’s lives are magical people. Each one of these
stuffed animals and puppets means something to you.”
“Yes. They deserve to be loved and
to be treated kindly. Then they can share their magic with me. They’re my
friends.” She returned the chipmunk to the shelf, gently placing him in his
spot.
He held her in his arms. “You
deserve to be loved and to be treated kindly. I’ve seen your magic. I hope to
always been deserving of your love.”
She looked into his eyes. “I’ve
seen your magic. You see right into my soul. It should frighten me, but it
doesn’t. I want you to keep looking until there’s nothing but you and me.
That’s all that matters. I’ll try not to run if I get scared. And I’ll bite
my tongue when I get upset. I love you, Duncan.”
“I love you too. I told you, if
you do run, I’ll follow you. And don’t bite your tongue. Say what you want.
I can take it. And if I can’t, you can make it up to me.” He grinned evilly
and reached out for her.
She danced away from him. “If I let
you, we’ll never get out of here today! Off to the shower! Get going!”
She pulled him towards her
bedroom. He was busy watching her towel come loose. She held it closed and
smirked.