The Sweetest Love (Sons of Worthington Series) (17 page)

She inhaled sharply. “Me?
But why?”

“Because he figured you should have tried to stop the duel. He felt that you had encouraged the duel in the first place. Trey also felt that you should have confessed to being a compromised woman and possibly being with child.”

His words vibrated through her so hard, it nearly shook her off the sofa. She jumped to her feet and stared at him. “
What
? You think I was in the
motherly way
?” She took a deep breath. “Why in heaven’s name would you believe that?”

He held up his hand in surrender. “Wait a moment before you get yourself in a dither, let me finish explaining.”

“Oh! Please do.”

He patted the empty space on the cushion next to him. “Sit back down, please.”

Anger, hurt, and humiliation raged through her. Tears fell from her eyes for different reasons this time. Bunching her hands by her side, she glared at him. “You thought that just because I had allowed you to kiss me in the greenhouse, I had given other men the same privilege—and more?”

“Diana, please. Just sit down and let me explain.”

She couldn’t sit. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t even scream at the top of her voice how unfair life was. All she could do was…was… A sob tore from her throat and she covered her hands over her face. Diana didn’t need to ask why he and his brother had thought this. Ludlow had ruined her reputation—and her life—in more ways than one.

Sobbing that she could not contain rushed forth. The palms of her hands dampened quickly from her tears. Frustration and helplessness had always been part of her life, especially after being forced to marry Ludlow, and she was tired of it. Tired of everything!

Strong arms wrapped around her shoulders and Tristan pulled her against his body. Warmth spread through her, comforting her more than she could have imagined. Gently, he urged her back to the sofa, where she obediently followed.

For years she’d been holding back her feelings, convincing herself there was no use in crying since it never solved a thing. Yet now as she sobbed against Tristan’s chest, relief made her chest lighter…and that confused her. She couldn’t understand the peace flowing through her, either.

He kissed her forehead and tightened his arms around her. “Please don’t cry,” he said softly. “It’s tearing me up inside.”

“Since your return from being um…dead, I have noticed you held bitter feelings for me.” She sniffed. “Those times we had attended the same dinner parties, or the same balls, or saw you in town, you glared at me.” She lifted her head and looked at him. “I could never understand what I had done.”

He ran the pads of his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away the tears. “When I returned to civilization, I had no memory of the duel. I remembered the days we’d spent together—and the time at the greenhouse—but not much after that. However, whenever I saw you, I did have a feeling of loathing…of hatred, but I couldn’t make sense of those emotions. It wasn’t until last night while I was dreaming that my memory opened up and led me through what really happened and what I had felt during those moments.” Tristan leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Hollingsworth had told me after he’d shot me that he’d forced himself on you earlier that evening and you were probably carrying his heir. He also mentioned that he had paid off your father’s debts, and that you had known about it the whole time. Trey heard the same thing as I did, and I was never able to talk to my brother about Hollingsworth’s accusations before I fell over the cliff.” He caressed her cheek.

She sniffed back another sob. The pain in her heart made her chest feel as if a house was resting upon it. “Ludlow lied when he told you he’d compromised me. He didn’t even touch me until after our wedding.” She took a deep breath. “But he did pay my father’s debts. I had known this, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to you. My father and I both thought that if you paid Ludlow back he’d change his mind and break the engagement.”

Tristan nodded. “I think that was why I held so much anger and betrayal in my heart for you after my accident. I didn’t know what it was, but now I feel that’s what drove me to drink and turned me into a bitter man.”

She wiped a tear sliding down her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Tristan. Ludlow had lied to both of us, and was determined to keep us apart no matter what the cost.”

“So true.
I just wish I could have stopped him. If I hadn’t have gone to the cliffs that night to find you—”

“
Shhh
,” she placed a finger to his lips. “We cannot relive the past. We must start over right now and move forward from here.”

He shrugged. “You are correct, of course. I had wallowed in my heartache for too long. I had lost you, and I couldn’t bear the thought of not being with you.
Whenever I saw you in town, it hurt too much to look at you.”

“Oh, Tristan.”
More tears poured down her face. “I never wanted to marry him. I hated him. He was cruel and always threatened me if I didn’t do his bidding. It didn’t take long for me to become bitter toward you for
not…not
…” She took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as she tried to control her emotions. “I had hoped that the rumors about you were false, and that you were somehow still alive so you could rescue me from my miserable life. I suffered so much abuse from that man. When I couldn’t get pregnant, he beat me. When I disagreed with him over anything, he struck me and locked me in my room for days. Living with him was pure hell, and the whole time I kept imagining what
might
have happened if we were married.”

“Oh, my sweet Diana.”
He kissed her forehead again and pulled her tighter as he brought her head to rest against his chest. “If I had known he treated you so terribly…” His voice broke. “I’m so sorry for everything. I had wanted to rescue you and marry you. We would have been very happy together, I know it.” He stroked her hair. “And I would have never lifted a hand to you in anger like he had.” He buried his face in her hair. “Oh, Diana, if I had known sooner what he’d done, I would have killed him by now.” He kissed her head. “I promise you no man will
ever
lay a hand on you now that I’m here.”

Slowly, the tears stopped and she wanted nothing more than to cuddle next to this strong man for the rest of her life. As she rubbed her cheek against his shirt, peace filled her. Soon her heart would mend, but it would take time. The best thing for both of them now was to heal—emotionally.
Then, and only then, would they be able to trust each other and fall in love all over again.

“Tristan, indeed you are a wonderful man, just as I’d realized when we first met.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled closer.

He relaxed back against the sofa, seeming content just to hold her. She’d waited for this kind of comforting feeling for too long. Needless to say, it would be impossible to let him go now. But she must. There were still too many obstacles in their way, and until those were resolved, she and Tristan could never be together…and since that wasn’t an option, she realized she must do all she can to right the wrong.

Being without Tristan was like a flower without sunlight. She would not be put through that torture again.

Chapter Eleven

Tristan awoke, feeling more alive than he’d been for a very long time. As he blinked, he realized he was still holding Diana while they slept on the sofa.

Smiling, he closed his eyes again and caressed her back and arm. Happiness spread through him. Having their talk made his heart light once again, and yet knowing how her husband had treated her, broke Tristan’s heart. He’d always blame himself for not being able to save her.
But as she’d mentioned before—they couldn’t change the past now.
All they could do was move forward, and he was definitely going to move forward…with her. They were both on the road to recovery, and soon, she would be back in his life forever.

A thought struck him, making him open his eyes. As long as they stayed in this cottage—their haven—out in the middle of nowhere, they were safe. But he needed to think of his family and to let them know all was well. Unfortunately, he had to talk to Jane to tell her and her controlling father, that there would
never
be a marriage between Tristan and Jane.

He didn’t think his mother would be too unhappy about the news, especially when he explained that there was another lady in his life…one that he’d loved for three years now.

Looking toward the window, he tried to gauge the time of day by the sunlight. If his calculations were correct, it was mid-afternoon. He needed to return home before night fell upon them.

“Sweet Diana,” he whispered and kissed her head. “Wake up, my dear.”

A soft moan escaped her throat as she stirred against him. Slowly, her hand rubbed across his chest, and a smile gradually stretched across her face.
Adorable!

“My dear, we have to wake up.” He kissed her forehead again, letting his lips linger on her skin a smidgen longer this time. Inhaling, he breathed in her lilac scent, recalling now why he had always enjoyed walking through his mother’s flower garden to the lilac bushes since he’d returned to civilization.

Diana’s eyelids fluttered open. When she looked at him, her smile widened.

“Tristan.”

He caressed her cheek. “Did you sleep well?”

“Remarkably well, thank you.” She sat up and stretched.

He loved seeing her so relaxed and content.

“I don’t think I have slept so well in a very long time,” she said.

He winked.
“Me, either.
I have struggled to remember my past, which kept me depressed and drinking entirely too much.
It was a nice little break for my mind to finally have undisturbed sleep.”

He stood and stretched. Strange how his body wasn’t even cramped for lying crooked on the sofa. Yet, she had been in his arms, which meant everything was as it should be.

“Diana, I hope you don’t mind, but I really need to return home.” A frown marred her expression, so he quickly explained. “I have no other clothes here. Besides that, my mother is probably very worried about me.” He leaned over, grasped Diana’s hands and pulled her up to stand by him. “There’s something I have to do as well. I need to talk with Lady
Fairbourne
and her father to let them know there is not going to be a wedding.
Ever.”

Finally, Diana’s smile returned which made her eyes sparkle. “That is a very good reason to return home.”

Chuckling, he wrapped her in his arms. “Are you going to remain here or come back and live closer to me?”

“Ludlow left nothing to me in his will. Although my grandmother’s cottage isn’t legally mine, it’s my brother’s, and he allowed me to stay here without question. Returning to Ludlow’s manor is the last thing I want to do, but I suppose it won’t hurt to go back at least until his cousin comes to claim the property.”

“I will be nearby to protect you. I do wish we could live in this cottage forever. It’s the perfect escape from society.”

“That, it is.”

“Perhaps we can meet here again in a couple of weeks?” He waggled his eyebrows.

She laughed and nodded. “I think that’s a splendid idea.”

Slowly, he traced his fingers over her beautiful face, over her creamy skin, her eyebrows, cheek bones, and down to her tempting lips. “I want to thank you for kidnapping me.”

“You forget it was Tabitha who did the deed.”

“True, but she would not have done it if she hadn’t have loved you so much.
You
are why she did what she did, which was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I’m so very relieved everything turned out the right way this time. You cannot imagine the relief flowing through me at this moment.”

Tristan arched an eyebrow. “You don’t think I can imagine it? I assure you, I can relate perfectly.”

He dropped his lips to hers. The kiss was so very gentle, and yet passionate as it stirred emotions in him he thought he’d lost years ago. The newfound feeling thrilled him completely and gave him hope for a better future…with her.

Reluctantly, he pulled away. Kissing her was so perfect he never wanted to stop. “My sweet Diana, I must leave now.”

“I know.”

“Promise we will see each other tomorrow.”

She nodded. “I assure you, we will even if I have to pay you a visit just to make an excuse to be in the same room with you.”

“You will always be welcome at my home.” He kissed her mouth one last time then stepped out of her arms. “Do you have an extra horse for me?”

“I do. Take the black stallion.”

“Until later, my sweet Diana.”
He bowed, turned, and quit the room.

It didn’t take him long to get himself ready, saddle the horse, and leave. Diana and Tabitha stepped outside to see him off. Both women waved until he couldn’t see them any longer.

He wasn’t familiar with this part of England, but he knew the direction of Mayfair, so he rode hard searching for anything familiar that would let him know he traveled the right way.

A few hours later, he was home. Already he missed Diana and wanted to return to her grandmother’s cottage. But he must remember he had other responsibilities first.
Business first…play
later.