The Temptress (35 page)

‘Luc,’ I choked, as I shook my head and put my
fingers over his lips to stop him. It was too much and I felt so unworthy. He
quickly removed them, kissing them before holding them tightly in his own.

‘Do not try and tell me how I feel. Only I can
know what lies deep in my heart, what fills it, and that is you. I
love
you,’ he repeated sincerely, his soulful deep brown eyes searching my tearful
ones as I tried to remember to breathe, while thousands of butterflies were
released in my stomach. Men had said those words to me before, but never had
they touched me so deeply. Never had I needed to hear them. Never had I wanted
to return them. Until now. It was crazy, we hardly knew each other, yet we had
a child. ‘I do not tell you this expecting you to say these words back to me,
one day I hope that you will, I say them because I need to. Because I can’t not
tell you that every time I see you, I fall a little harder. I have so much love
inside me that it hurts to try to deny that, I no longer will. I will tell you
every day for the rest of your life, multiple times a day. Je t’aime, ma
belle,’ he whispered as he kissed me again. I quickly straddled his lap and
threw my arms around his neck, kissing him back, frantically, needing to feel,
as well as hear, his need for me.

‘Luc,’ I breathed against his lips.

‘I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my
shoulders and I am happy. Don’t say anything to ruin this moment, or I will tan
your backside again,’ he chuckled, as one hand supported my lower back, as his
other reached up to run his fingers through my crazily messed up sex hair.

‘We need to talk.’

‘We are talking. Do you know why I brought you
here tonight? Specifically here?’

‘No,’ I replied, shaking my head.

‘I wanted to tell you how I felt here, in this
room, because one day, when you’re ready, I hope that this will be your bedroom
too. I want you to live here with me. I will change anything that I’ve already
done if you don’t like it, you could decorate it however you want, it would be
our home.’

‘I had no idea you were so romantic,’ I sighed
as I tangled my fingers in the soft silky strands of his hair.

‘I told you, I have many sides, all of which
you, and only you, will get to see.’

‘It’s a lot of bedrooms for two of us,’ I
suggested, testing the water, my butterflies being replaced by a feeling of
nausea, as I held my breath to see what he would say.

‘Oui,’ he grinned, his adorable dimples coming
out. ‘But I do not intend for it to be just two of us. One day we will be
married and I hope to fill these rooms with lots of baby Le Grands.’

‘All six of the bedrooms?’ I gasped, as I
gulped down some panicked gasps of air, at the thought of going through one
more childbirth like Tristan’s, let alone that many, but I also felt
overwhelmed with relief that he wanted children. If he’d said no, I wouldn’t
have known how to handle this whole situation.

‘I can build an extension if you think we need
more?’ he asked, looking at me with a frown. My eyes widened with horror and he
burst out laughing. ‘I am joking, six will be plenty.’

‘How would you feel starting with just one?’ I
asked, as I dropped my eyes to his chest.

‘I’d be happy to start now, ma belle,’ he
chuckled, as he moved to start kissing my neck.

‘You don’t need to,’ I whispered, as I tugged
at his hair to try and get him to look at me.

‘I may need to put in hours of practice.’

‘And I’m all for practice, lots and lots of
practice, but … O God, Luc,’ I moaned, damn him and his perfect kisses that
turned me on faster than the speed of sound. This was serious. I was trying to
have a serious conversation with him. ‘Stop,
please
, I need to talk to
you.’

‘Sex, then we talk.’

‘Luc,
please
, I really need to talk to
you.’ I pulled my neck away from his embrace and firmly clutched his face,
forcing him to look at me.

‘What, you look worried?’

‘You remember I told you that I had someone in
my life already?’

‘Yes,’ he growled, the black pupils of his eyes
darkening in anger. ‘As of now, no more. I will end it for you if you have
feelings of guilt.’

‘You’re a
very
jealous man,’ I sighed,
shaking my head.

‘But of course, no one touches what is mine and
you are mine now.’

‘I am yours now, I promise, but … O God, Luc,
when I asked how you’d feel about starting with one child, I meant because I
already have one,’ I blurted out, as fast as I could, before I could change my
mind.

‘You what?’ He blinked at me a few times,
looking hurt.

‘His name is Tristan, he’s the most beautiful,
loving and kind little boy. He’s smart, he’s funny and he’s been my whole world
for so long now.’

‘This is why you would only see me at night-time
this weekend? Why did you not tell me? Why would you hide something this
important from me?’

‘I didn’t know how you’d react, I didn’t even
know if you liked children and this sort of thing can’t be rushed. I wasn’t
going to tell you until I’d got to know you better. I’ve been so cautious with
men coming into my life, Luc. The reason I had my three month, no sex dating
rule, was so that I could make sure that they’d be suitable to meet him. To
date he’s never seen me with a man, other than my brother and father, not one of
my dates has met my expectations to be worthy enough to be in my son’s life.’

‘What of his father? He did not offer to marry
you? He is not part of his son’s life? What kind of imbecile did you let get
you pregnant?’ he bit angrily. I took another deep breath, Luc loved me, he
wanted children, he deserved to know. I couldn’t protect Tristan, or myself,
for ever. They had a right to know each other, even if Luc and I didn’t work out.

‘He’s not an imbecile and he hasn’t been in
Tristan’s life because he didn’t know he had a son, because we lost contact for
six years and only just found each other again. I’m looking right at him,’ I
said quietly as I held his gaze. He just stared at me, occasionally blinking as
his chest rose and fell, the sound of his heavy breathing like a pneumatic
drill shattering the uncomfortable silence. ‘Luc? Do you understand what I’m
telling you?’ I asked, as he just stared at me with wide watering eyes.

‘I …’ he shook his head and ran a hand through
his hair.

‘I fell pregnant after our night together. My
five year old son, Tristan, is your son,
our son
. He looks just like
you, he has your dark hair and gorgeous brown eyes, with little flecks of my
amber ones. Say something, please say something,’ I whispered, as tears started
to roll down my face. I’d made a mistake, it was too soon. It was one thing
saying you wanted children, quite another to find out you had one and had
missed out on a large portion of his life.

‘I have a son? With you?’ he asked slowly, like
he was testing the words in his own head.

‘Yes,’ I nodded as I let go of his face and
reached up to wipe my eyes. I jumped as he grabbed my hands and dragged them
away from my face.

‘You are not lying to me?’

‘No,’ I sniffed. ‘I returned to Paris when I
was seven months pregnant, to try to find you. I didn’t expect anything from
you, I just thought you had the right to know and I honestly hoped that you’d
want to be a part of our lives, or his at least.’

‘I have a son.’ His fingers eased mine apart
and slid between them as he clenched my hands tightly. ‘I have a son.’ He
repeated louder.

‘
We
have a son,’ I confirmed with a nod,
taking this as a good sign.

‘Nous avons un fils,’ he declared, as a huge grin
spread across his face, making me laugh with relief. ‘I have many questions,
many,
many
questions.’

‘I’ll answer them all,’ I nodded, my heart
racing fast with the adrenaline of finally getting it out in the open. He
laughed, released my hands, grabbed my face and kissed my forehead, then
shocked me by leaping off the bed and racing out of the room. ‘Luc?’ I called.
I heard him pounding down the stairs as I sat on the bed baffled. ‘Ok, so not
exactly how I saw that going,’ I said to the empty room. I got up and grabbed
my black shirt off the floor, shrugging it on as I padded across the room to
venture out onto the landing. I looked over the bannister to see him taking the
stairs back up, two at a time, stark naked.
What the hell was he doing?
I straightened up as he made it to the top, not even out of breath, grabbed my
hand and dragged me back to the bed. He lifted me up, plonking me down in the
middle, before jumping up to sit next to me.

‘Show me,’ he demanded, as he thrust my mobile
into my hands. ‘You have pictures of him on your phone? Oui?’

‘Oui,’ I smiled, with a blush. So that’s where
he’d hared off to. He looked as excited as Tristan did when it was our monthly zoo
trip. All of my fears regarding whether Luc would want Tristan in his life suddenly
evaporated, now I only had to worry about whether Tristan would want him in
return. That was a whole other issue, one I wasn’t going to think about now.

I tapped in Tristan’s birthday to unlock my
home screen, scrolled to my albums, opening the biggest one on there, all full
of him, pressed slideshow and passed it over to Luc. They were in date order,
from the moment I held him in my arms at the hospital, all the way up to
yesterday, when I did a selfie of us pulling silly faces. I kept my gaze on
Luc’s face as he stared at them, his eyes wide. He muttered something under his
breath and reached up with his thumb and middle finger to wipe under his eyes
as they filled with tears. I felt more starting to roll down my face and
quietly got up and went in search of tissues in what I assumed was the
en-suite, through the only other door in the room and found myself in an enormous
empty space with another door opposite. I walked through there to find a
luxuriously appointed en-suite, all in cream travertine, with two white
Victorian porcelain sinks, toilet, bidet of course and chrome finishings. There
was a huge rain shower head mounted on the ceiling, with a large glass panel
protecting it from the rest of the room. I ran my hand over the magnificent carved
stone, egg shaped bath, so cool and smooth to the touch. Luc had lovely taste.
I grabbed some strips of toilet roll and sat on the edge of the bath, wiped my
eyes and blew my nose. We needed to talk, when he’d calmed down. It wasn’t
every day you told a woman you were in love with them, to find out she’d had
your secret love child, let alone a child your wife was using in a blackmail
scheme to ruin you. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to go down well. I reached
up to caress my beautiful pendant and smiled. He
loved
me. Damn it, I
was crying again. I looked up as I heard a noise, to find Luc striding towards
me. Before I knew it I was in his arms, being held tightly against his chest,
his face buried in my neck.

‘Il est parfait, he is totally perfect.’

‘Oui, c’est vrait,’ I confirmed, with a giggle.
‘Are you ok?’

‘I am a father.’

‘You’re not mad with me?’

‘Mad? Non,’ he replied, as he straightened up
and shook his head, then kissed my forehead. ‘How can I be mad at the woman who
carried him, loved him and protected him for me for all these years? Where does
he think I am?’

‘I told him that we lost each other, which was
the truth, but that I was sure if you ever found us again you’d want to be a
part of his life.’

‘I do, both of your lives. I must see him, take
me to him.’

‘I will, in time,’ I nodded. ‘I need to decide
how we’re going to handle this.’

‘Not in time. Now. I need to see him.’

‘Luc, it’s late, he’s sleeping and I can’t just
thrust someone new into his life and say darling, here’s your long lost father.
I need to talk to him about this and make sure he wants to meet you first.’

‘Merde, Lulu! You cannot tell me that I have a
son and then keep him from me!’ he snapped, as he stepped back and put his
hands on his hips, anger brewing in his eyes.

‘Please don’t get mad with me, I told you
because I felt you deserved to know, I didn’t want to lie to you, but think of
Tristan. He’s only five, he doesn’t know you. All he knows is that it’s been
the two of us for as long as he can remember. These things need to be handled
carefully, gradually. I don’t want to frighten him by forcing you on him and
risk him being scared and not wanting to see you again.’

‘He’s my
son
,’ he said forcefully, as he
shoved a hand through his unruly hair.

‘And he always will be, we’re not going
anywhere, I want you to be a part of his life, but you have to trust me. I know
him. We can’t rush this.’ I stepped over to him and put my hands on his chest.
His breathing was out of control again and his body had tensed up in an instant.
‘We
can’t
rush this,’ I repeated as I looked up into his eyes. He looked
up at the ceiling and blew out a few breaths. ‘Give me some time to tell him
that I’ve found you and see how he reacts. If I know him as well as I think I
do, he’ll have lots of questions and he’ll want some time on his own to think
about what I’ve said. When he asks me if he can see you, then we can make some
plans, but it may not happen overnight.’

‘I need to see him, Lulu,’ Luc said quietly as
he dropped his face to mine, tears rolling down his cheeks. ‘Don’t deny me
this.’

‘Luc,’ I sighed, my heart breaking for him, as
I quickly wiped them away. ‘You’re asking too much. Give me time. This isn’t
about you and me, it’s about a little boy and what he needs, not us.’

‘Then just let me come and see him for a moment
tonight, while he’s sleeping. He won’t even know I’m there. Please, do not deny
me the chance to see him in person. I leave for Paris in the morning, you know
this. To be without you for four days will be hard enough, but to know I have a
child, whose face I have not seen in person will be too much.’