The Time Baroness (The Time Mistress Series) (32 page)

“God, I’m—” Nick began.

“It’s okay,” Cassandra replied without conviction.

“Did you think about, you know, traveling back to before he did it to try to stop him? I know I considered it with Nagla.”

“Of course, of course,” she said vehemently, “but I didn’t do it for the same reason you didn’t.”

“Once you make the decision to travel, into the past or future, you’re stuck with the results. If you try to undo what you’ve done, you could set up a chain reaction.”

 “You don’t know anymore what was meant to be and what you created. Whatever you do during your time travel, you live with the results.”

“Which is why we’re so careful,” he said quietly.

“Why we try to be. We almost blew it in James’ case.”

“Yeah, but that was a little different. The outcome wasn’t established. We had to take the chance to remove him from that situation.”

“We did break some rules, but for me there wasn’t a choice. He is my son.”

“I can’t tell you how I struggled with the decision not to go back a few weeks into the past and dissuade Nagla from taking the trip.”

They both sat for a few minutes staring at the flame of the candle in the middle of the table.

A tear rolled down Cassandra’s cheek and Nick caught it with his finger.  

“I’m so sorry about Franklin.” He whispered.

“Let’s not talk about it anymore.” She mustered a smile. “I’m as past it as I’ll ever be, which is to say, I’ll never be past it, but, like you, I’ve moved on.”

They talked about their experiences they had during their time in England, food from the era, inconveniences, and comparisons to the twenty-second century. They were finally able to laugh, and Cassandra found herself thinking that she had not enjoyed herself like this since her time with Ben. She looked down at the ring again, and thought that, really, maybe she shouldn’t wear it after all. Maybe if she ever found one of Ben’s descendents, she would give it to them instead. It was time to move on from him as well.

Nick interrupted her thoughts. “Thinking about Ben?”

“No,” she smiled, “not really. I was just thinking that it’s time to let go of other things too. Ben is long dead, isn’t he?” She took off the ring and plopped it into her purse.

Nick chuckled. “I’m afraid so.” He called the waiter over, and they both ordered some strong English tea. As the waiter cleared the table, she noticed the label on a pat of butter that had been sitting there in a dish. It said ‘Whitstone’s.’

“Wait a minute,” she said just before he whisked it away. “Can I see that?” The waiter put down the dish and walked away to get their tea. Cassandra picked up the pat of butter and looked at it closely. She read aloud the label, “Whitstone’s Dairy, Hampshire, England.”

“What?” asked Nick.

“Nothing. Should I know this brand?”

“What are you talking about? Of course. Whitstone’s is a household name all over the world.”

“Right.” She was confused. Could it be that her giving Sarah Whitstone the antibiotics not only saved her life, but made her farm successful in a way it never would have been otherwise? She couldn’t possibly know. If she had changed history, making Whitstone’s a household word, the paradox would be that Whitstone’s butter wouldn’t have existed before she went on her time journey, and yet once she did go and saved Sarah’s life, the diary farm would have begun being successful from that time forward, and always would have been a household name. She shook her head to clear it.

“Never mind,” she said. “I’ll explain it another time.”

“Okay, well then, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I know you wanted to time travel to the nineteenth century to experience life as Jane Austen lived it, but I’ve been wondering why you chose the year 1820. Why not go five years earlier and meet her yourself, when she was at the height of her creativity?”

“Do you know a lot about her?”

“Not exactly, but living in London for that particular decade, her books were popular. I couldn’t avoid them.”

Cassandra gave him a look of mock disapproval. “I considered going earlier, but then I thought that meeting her would probably be a letdown. She was shy and didn’t move much outside her circle. She saved her wit and humor for those she knew best. She never enjoyed meeting strangers, and I would have had to work hard to get into her private world. Then, what if I changed it? I mean, not to flatter myself, but what if my meeting her changed even one word of one book. What if I knocked on the door while she was writing the moment of Emma’s romantic revelation about Mr. Knightly and I caused her to lose her train of thought? No, I couldn’t do it. So I chose a few years after her death, so that her world would scarcely have changed, but she was no longer in it.”

“That’s a beautifully scientific, and shockingly romantic reason.” Nick had a sparkle in his eye.

“I did manage to get that letter though, didn’t I?”

“Yes, I have to admit, that was well done. Do you think you’ll ever time travel again?”

“I doubt it. Time to let others have their chance. I have a lot of work to do in the here and now.”

“Me too,” said Nick. “It’s been nice helping you.”

“Maybe you’d let me help you with your research,” she offered.

“I’d love that. But you know, I’m also hoping that we could spend time together.”

“We could play music together,” she said.

“I’d really like that.”

She studied his face. It was a nice one, she admitted. Handsome, just a little quirky. He was athletic and slim. She had been trying not to think of him as anything other than a friend, but now realized that she was free to do so, since it was becoming obvious that he had more than just friendly feelings for her.

He reached across the table and took her hand and gently kissed it. In the quaint atmosphere of the restaurant that had probably been there for two hundred years, drinking tea, and looking into Nick’s eyes as he held her hand, Cassandra could almost feel herself transported back in time to old England again. But in that moment she realized that going forward was all she wanted to do. The past slipped into the past where it belonged, and before her, the future stretched out. Perhaps, she thought, she’d even found someone to travel it with.