The Top Gear Story (24 page)

A
s the first edition of this book was going to press, the court case between Ben Collins and
Top Gear
was quite literally still being decided and daily TV headlines and newspaper front pages chronicled the story being played out. Since that time, however, the high profile of the whole controversy feels rather odd. After the headlines subsided, Collins moved on to work for
Fifth Gear
on a single series and later, among other things, as a stunt driver for the new James Bond film
Skyfall
(2012). His former colleagues at
Top Gear
had long since moved on, too. In fact, the manner in which the
Top Gear
team dealt with the whole Stig/book controversy enabled them to effectively nullify any negative impact Collins’ unmasking might otherwise have had.

At first, some media spectators questioned how
Top Gear
would cope – if at all – without the
bête
noir
of The Stig, who as we have seen had become such an integral part of the show’s massive global appeal. Initially, James May did his best to continue his ruse of claiming to be The Stig and regularly
repeated this deliberate misinformation in his column for the
Daily Telegraph
. He also ‘revealed’ that when he finally decided to stand down from the role, his replacement would be none other than another Mr Collins, albeit the Apollo 11 astronaut, Michael Collins.

There were dozens of different internet rumours about The Stig being written out of the show altogether but the BBC steadfastly maintained that no decision had been made as to The Stig’s survival. One fact was clear: the public’s thirst for the character remained strong. Back in 2008, one online poll claimed the search entry ‘Who is The Stig?’ was the most frequently asked question on the entire web. In the immediate aftermath of the Collins’ court case, there seemed to be no real dilution of this interest; although that incarnation of The Stig had been exposed, the character still seemed to hold an affectionate place in the nation’s hearts. Another online poll by the
Guardian
found that 64 per cent of respondents to the question ‘Do we need a Stig?’ replied in the affirmative. More practical speculation began to wonder who would play the new Stig if his character was continued, with highly qualified names such as F1 drivers Heikki Kovalainen and Anthony Davidson being early favourites. Meanwhile, the BBC entered the fray in refusing to rule out a female replacement.

Then ahead of the forthcoming
Top Gear Live
tour and with a canny sense of fun, clips were posted on the show’s official website showing footage of a ‘Stig farm’ somewhere in the remote English countryside, including several multi-coloured Stigs. The Stig farm was apparently free range and GM-free and located in a secret (what else?) rural part of Britain near the B4073 (for the record, that runs through Painswick, near Gloucester). The suggestion was that
Top Gear
was simply going to grow a new Stig.

Previously, Clarkson had been particularly scathing of Collins
and when he opened one of the
Top Gear Live
shows that autumn, he wasn’t about to let go. Pointing out that some observers saw ‘Stig-gate’ as the end of
Top Gear
, he insisted, ‘Not so, barely a blip’, before showing a longer video of the Stig farm. Set to funky music, a rainbow of Stigs was seen wandering aimlessly about a mucky farm, at one point herded by a farmer in wellies. The comic video was all good fun but in fact cleverly diluted the impact of the loss of ‘white’ Stig by showing so many new multi-coloured Stigs, which also served to remind the viewers that this mysterious racing driver was in reality a fictitious character. There was one more dig, too when Clarkson said, ‘Some Stigs decide to write books, but that’s never a good idea.’ After the video of the Stig farm had ended, Clarkson introduced the ‘new Stig’ to a rapturous crowd as a Ferrari 430 Spider skidded into the arena, driven by a conventional white Stig, identical to the one portrayed by Collins.

Top Gear
never shied away from mentioning the controversy on the show itself either. In the ‘US Road Trip’ Special, December 2010, the trio branded The Stig a ‘Judas Iscariot’ and then proceeded to test out firearms against a dummy of the
white-suited
‘traitor’ driver. Notably, in that episode, film director Danny Boyle became the only person
not
to be trained by The Stig for his lap, instead being coached by ‘Emergency Stig’, namely former racing driver Tiff Needell. The show must go on …

While the world was clearly enjoying the rumours of the ‘new’ Stig (and seemingly still unperturbed that his successor’s identity had been revealed), the very first Stig also revealed a surprising side. In a 2011 interview that was widely quoted by dozens of fascinated national publications and regional magazines, the original ‘black’ Stig, Perry McCarthy, stated what anyone inside of motor-racing knows is true: that despite the best efforts of
Top Gear
to vilify the humble caravan, those
ridiculed vehicles are in fact an essential tool for many an aspiring race driver. ‘Caravanning played an important part when I was racing,’ he was quoted as saying in the
Shropshire Star
. ‘Actually I used motorhomes … the advantages of being on-site, at the edge of the race track are immeasurable.’ He also pointed out that all the top drivers use motorhomes. It’s a bit of a jump from the million pound motorhomes populating the F1 paddock to a lowly caravan, but McCarthy went further and revealed that in fact he was actually a card-carrying member of The Caravan Club – ‘Answer this truthfully, can you really get excited about a holiday which starts at either Gatwick or Luton Airport? There’s also a kind of pioneering spirit to it, too, and I like that.’ He went on to champion the ‘luxuries’ offered by modern caravans as against the anodyne anonymity of a hotel chain. McCarthy also told reporters that he could now look back and be proud of his time on the show: ‘I was part of the biggest motoring show on the planet and it was great fun to do.’ Clearly very happy with his role, he also quipped, ‘As Sinatra sang, “Regrets, I have too few to mention,” and none of them are becoming a racing driver or being The Stig.’

Fairly quickly after the court case, it became apparent that
Top Gear
was going to emerge from the Stig controversy with barely a scratch. Another clever piece of the Stig ‘revival’ came in the hilarious Christmas Special, which saw the trio replicating the journey of the Three Wise Men by driving from northern Iraq to Bethlehem – hardly the safest route to select. They made their trip even more dangerous by buying cheap, old convertibles for the journey, including a Mazda MX-5. In fact, the actual route taken by the Three Kings was simply too dangerous in the
modern day, and so the intrepid trio had to opt for a more
long-winded
path but nonetheless one that was still filled with genuine danger. While they disguised one car as a Bedouin tent, tested out how to bullet-proof car doors and fitted Hammond’s Mazda with a stereo that constantly played Genesis and couldn’t be switched off, James May was in for a rougher ride when he fell backwards onto a rock and knocked himself unconscious, suffering a rather nasty and bloody gash to his head. When the ‘Three Wise Men’ finally arrived at the ‘Nativity’ scene in Bethlehem, they clustered round the newborn son of the Lord only to find out that he was in fact a suited, helmet-wearing Stig baby. ‘I wasn’t expecting that,’ said James May somewhat obviously (at least they had some decent gifts: a fake gold medallion, a bottle of hotel shampoo called Frankincense and a Nintendo DSi).

The first episode of Series 16 continued to confront the Stig issue head-on when James explained that Stigs grow very quickly, revealing the baby Jesus Stig was now fully formed and ready to drive any car they sat him in. So, within three months of the Stig controversy supposedly threatening to make
Top Gear
implode, the show was up and running as usual and all the fuss seemed a relic from the distant past. This was helped by the fact that out on the
Top Gear
track, the new Stig seemed to set very similar times to what the presenters took to calling ‘sacked Stig’.

And in keeping with the mythology surrounding the former Stig, the urban myths and cultural misinformation about the character continued. He was always introduced using exactly the same wording as their ‘tame racing driver’ with surreal facts about his personality or life; he appeared in the background of computer driving games; his helmet and overalls could be bought as add-ons for Gran Turismo 5 and Forza Motorsport 4 console games and Google Street View images picked him up at
various locations in the background, such as the A82 by Loch Ness (for added mystery) and even three times inside Legoland in Berkshire. In Series 18, the deification of the character continued unabated, with The Stig being referred to as the show’s ‘Senior Cornering Solutions Consultant’.

By the summer of 2011, some water seemed to have flowed under the bridge when Richard Hammond and Ben Collins both attended a fundraiser for a military amputee charity. When he came to introduce his former colleague, Hammond told the crowd to welcome ‘ex-Stig Ben Collins’.

Aside from resurgence of The Stig, elsewhere for
Top Gear
the controversy never seems to subside. In late 2010, the media regulator Ofcom had censured Jeremy Clarkson over what was deemed ‘discriminatory’ language, which had the potential to be highly offensive to some viewers. This was following a review of the Ferrari F430 Speciale in which Jezza stated that it was ‘a bit wrong – that smiling front end – it looked like a simpleton – [it] should have been called the 430 Speciale Needs.’ Ofcom received two complaints and in announcing its decision offered that it had taken into account
Top Gear
’s ‘irreverent style and sometimes outspoken humour and studio banter’ but ultimately found against the show – ‘In Ofcom’s opinion, while obviously intended as a joke and not aimed directly at an individual with learning difficulties, the comment could easily be understood as ridiculing people in society with a particular physical disability or learning difficulty.’ The BBC responded to the censure by removing the reference from all future repeats, as well as the BBC iPlayer online service.

I
f 2010 had been the year when Stig was unmasked, then 2011 was in some ways an even more difficult one for
Top Gear
. Although they had cleverly and almost seamlessly negotiated the Stig controversy and forged a future with the same white-suited driver playing an identical role, both on screen and away from the cameras, this was not a great year for some of the team.

Jeremy in particular continued to attract headlines. The New Year had started very well – in late January 2011, the programme scooped the ‘Best Factual’ gong at the National Television Awards but the crew were not able to celebrate for long. Just seven days later, the fairly average opening episodes of Series 16 were overshadowed by yet another ‘foreign friends’ controversy, following comments on the show about Mexicans, which solicited an official complaint from that country’s ambassador to London. The on-screen conversation between May, Hammond and Jezza expounded the theory that national characteristics and generalised personality traits were reflected in cars from specific
countries. Among the choice cuts of this particular exchange was the following foray into international diplomacy from Hammond: ‘Mexican cars are just going to be lazy, feckless, flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep, looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat.’ Mexican food was referred to as ‘refried sick’ and the trio even tipped a wink at any possible forthcoming complaints, with Clarkson saying it was highly unlikely as the Mexican Ambassador would be asleep.

Well, the Ambassador wasn’t asleep and he was none too happy either. The most senior Mexican official in Britain fired off an official complaint to the BBC objecting to the ‘offensive, xenophobic and humiliating’ comments. ‘The presenters of the programme resorted to outrageous, vulgar and inexcusable insults to stir bigoted feelings against the Mexican people, their culture, as well as their official representative in the United Kingdom … [which] only serve to reinforce negative stereotypes and perpetuate prejudice against Mexico and its people.’ The BBC apologised and Jeremy offered a serious discussion in his
Sun
column suggesting if all humour is stripped of any material that may offend someone, somewhere, then there is no humour left at all. As if to underline the point, he rounded off with another gag about Mexicans. Once more,
Top Gear
ended up in political hot water when a cross-party group of six MPs said: ‘This level of ignorance is far below anything expected from anyone in the public eye and illustrates a serious lack of judgment by the programme-makers.’

By now,
Top Gear
had become an example held up by its many critics for all that was politically incorrect and offensive about certain types of British television. By way of defence, Clarkson suggested it wasn’t his show that was of concern, but the creeping and insidious atmosphere of humourless PC
campaigners aiming to make all TV inoffensive. Speaking at those National Television Awards a few days earlier (which was set against a backdrop of
Sky Sports
presenters Andy Gray and Richard Keys being sacked for alleged ‘sexist’ comments), Clarkson made a reference to the famous Monty Python ‘Spanish Inquisition’ sketch, saying, ‘We’ve arrived at a stage where you actually can be busted for heresy by thought, which is a terrifying place to live.’ James May took a slightly more light-hearted approach on that awards night, collecting the trophy and saying he’d like to thank ‘the girl who tucked our microphone cables down our trousers’ – a reference to a comment made by Andy Gray that had contributed to his dismissal by Sky. Clarkson opined that if the same rules that had applied to Keys and Gray were set out for
Top Gear
, then he and his brace of presenter pals would have been sacked 100 times! (Notably, half of the
Top Gear
production crew is female.)

If it wasn’t comments on the show or in interviews that caused problems for the
Top Gear
trio, then later in 2011, it was elements of Jeremy Clarkson’s private life that caused the spotlight to once again fall on him. Clarkson was the subject of countless newspaper headlines after a super-injunction which he had issued was lifted and numerous publications subsequently chose to run articles about his private life. This latest legal development was set against a context of the now infamous Ryan Giggs ‘super-injunction’ story, where it eventually transpired that the married footballer had been having an affair and had used the expensive super-injunction procedure to keep this fact a secret. A phone-hacking scandal was also erupting around the
News of the World
that would eventually lead to the Leveson Inquiry and so celebrities’ private lives and the role of the media was very much a hot topic. While the far-wider argument continues to rage about the privacy of famous faces as against
what the media – rightly or wrongly – considers to be a justification of public interest, once more the heat on Jeremy seemed to dissipate quite quickly and he was able to get back to the business of filming for
Top Gear
, whose ratings it should be noted seemed totally unaffected.

However, a much greater fury was soon heading Clarkson’s way. In December 2011, while public sector workers were striking en masse on the streets of Britain in protest at proposed changes to their pensions (with an estimated two million people out on strike), Jeremy went on the early-evening magazine programme
The One Show
for an unrelated interview. When the chat moved on to the inevitable topic of the strike, he made a joke that would soon see him on the front page of most tabloids and become, yet again, a media target. Initially pointing out the lack of public services had made the streets quiet and easy to commute through, Jeremy warmed up and delivered this joke: ‘We have to balance this, though, because this is the BBC. Frankly, I’d have them [the strikers] all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean, how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed while the rest of us have to work for a living.’ In fact, many people took greater offence towards the end of the interview when Clarkson questioned why trains have to stop when someone jumps in front of them, with his point being – again seemingly in jest when you see the clip – that delaying the train is not going to help that person.

Nonetheless it was joking that he would execute the strikers in front of their families that seemed to cause most offence. Cue outrage from the unions amid calls for Clarkson’s immediate sacking over what were described as ‘appalling’ comments; according to some unverified sources within a few days there were over 30,000 complaints made to the BBC. One
union spokeswoman said: ‘The excuse that this has been said in humour is completely and utterly unacceptable.’ Dave Prentis, UNISON’s general secretary, was quoted in the
Mail
as saying, ‘While he is driving round in fast cars for a living, public sector workers are busy holding our society together: they save others’ lives on a daily basis, they care for the sick, the vulnerable, the elderly.’

The BBC itself was moved to publish the transcript of the interview but their action did little to dampen the growing and vociferous criticism. Clarkson issued an apology, in which he said, ‘I didn’t for a moment intend these remarks to be taken seriously – as I believe is clear if they’re seen in context. If the BBC and I have caused any offence, I’m quite happy to apologise for it alongside them.’ The BBC was also moved to try and temper the outrage by saying, ‘
The One Show
is a live topical programme which often reflects the day’s talking points. Usually we get it right, but on this occasion we feel the item wasn’t perfectly judged. The BBC and Jeremy would like to apologise for any offence caused.’

Some political commentators pointed out that Clarkson is a personal friend of Prime Minister David Cameron and that these ‘light-hearted’ remarks were perhaps more damaging than just a joke. When confronted with his pal’s comments on ITV’s
This Morning
, the Prime Minister firmly brushed the issue aside, saying it had been ‘a silly thing to say … I’m sure he didn’t mean it’; Labour leader Ed Miliband was less conciliatory and said the comments were ‘disgusting’. UNISON even went so far as to invite Jeremy onto a hospital ward to join a healthcare assistant for a day at work. Previously they had said they were seeking legal advice about whether his remarks could be referred to the police, although they later welcomed the apology.

The BBC, it seemed, was clear in its position. Director-General
Mark Thompson said: ‘I don’t intend to sack him. I believe it is absolutely clear to anyone who watches the clips, perhaps not who reads a section of the transcript, these remarks are said entirely in jest and not to be taken seriously. In my view Jeremy Clarkson’s remarks were absolutely and clearly intended as a joke.’ He went on to say, ‘There are many millions of people who very strongly support and enjoy Jeremy Clarkson,’ and also that the complaints have ‘to be balanced against a couple of flippant remarks in one programme. Well over 20 million people watch
Top Gear
in a given season. It gets a very high rating from the public for quality. People watch that programme expecting often outspoken humour from Clarkson.’ BBC Trust chairman Lord Patten went even further in his defence, saying of
Top Gear
that, ‘[It is] probably one of the leading “cultural” exports of this country. A lot of people would be disappointed [if he was sacked].’ Clarkson later flew out of the country, while it emerged that the BBC had also received 341 messages of support for him. Others pointed out that the number of complaints received was less than 2 per cent of the people claimed to be on strike.

Clarkson wasn’t sacked and the show continued. He still had a Christmas surprise for his critics, though, when a New Year Indian Special featured a number of comments about the country’s culture that were likely to raise eyebrows. These included jokes about food, trains and a Jaguar car fitted with a toilet seat on the boot. This time the number of complaints was tiny compared to
The One Show
, numbering less than 200, but a diplomatic spat was potentially around the corner when the Indian High Commission complained formally to the BBC for what it considered ‘offensive’ remarks and ‘toilet humour’.

This controversy came at the end of a quite ordinary year of
Top Gear
shows. Series 16 and 17 had run throughout 2011 and had perhaps been some of the weaker episodes in the show’s otherwise strong canon. To some media observers and members of the public alike, many of the challenges seemed a little repetitive or tired and there were relatively few spectacular highlights. Aside from making their own snow plough out of a combine harvester and the first return to the ‘Cool Wall’ for two years, a fascinating verbal tussle with former deputy Labour leader John Prescott and Jezza was the best moment of Series 16. Perhaps most obviously the classic fourth episode featured the finest sequence in Series 17 when the trio set out to prove train travel can be made cheaper and more accessible.

Clarkson pulled a carriage with a 1980s Jaguar XJ-S convertible converted to run on train wheels, while Hammond and May used an Audi S8 to pull several caravans (predictably perhaps, they eventually caught fire). Another highlight was the eminently affable double Formula 1 World Champion Sebastian Vettel at the top of the F1 drivers’ leaderboard, with a Suzuki Liana time of 1.44.0m. But otherwise it was only a modestly entertaining pair of series, with several lulls when the comedy and larking about just swamped any serious car talk at all. All this was largely overshadowed by the on-going controversies swirling around the show and its presenters. And this is a crucial fact – among all the media and personal controversy, it is sometimes hard to forget there is a TV show about cars at the centre of the story. Fortunately, with the spectacular 18th series of
Top Gear
, the team delivered the perfect reminder of exactly why they were the most popular automotive show on earth.