The Topsail Accord (41 page)
“
We never went to France,” I interrupt.
We never went to France,” I interrupt.
“
I know. Just checking to see if you’re listening,” Joe says.
I know. Just checking to see if you’re listening,” Joe says.
Again we laugh. Again it brings us even closer. All those shared laughs over all those years. Laughs that disappeared from my relationship with my ex. Laughs that have always been here and that have grown and kept Joe and I together in our own way.
“
It was the Olympic Peninsula,” Joe continues. “The New Dungeness lighthouse. It has different families serve as lighthouse keepers for a week at a time. And I can see why. It takes almost a whole day to get there! It’s right at the end of the Spit, and has been since 1857. That’s a long time for anything to survive near the Straights of Juan de Fuca. The Japanese actually had plans to destroy that lighthouse as part of the Pearl Harbor attack. But when the attack at Dutch Harbor started ahead of schedule all the light houses on the West Coast were darkened and the Japanese marines got lost. They were counting on just navigating in on the beacon.”
It was the Olympic Peninsula,” Joe continues. “The New Dungeness lighthouse. It has different families serve as lighthouse keepers for a week at a time. And I can see why. It takes almost a whole day to get there! It’s right at the end of the Spit, and has been since 1857. That’s a long time for anything to survive near the Straights of Juan de Fuca. The Japanese actually had plans to destroy that lighthouse as part of the Pearl Harbor attack. But when the attack at Dutch Harbor started ahead of schedule all the light houses on the West Coast were darkened and the Japanese marines got lost. They were counting on just navigating in on the beacon.”
“
Those people up there in Sequim are really devoted to that lighthouse. They have that place open every day for tours, always free.”
Those people up there in Sequim are really devoted to that lighthouse. They have that place open every day for tours, always free.”
“
They are devoted. So I gave them a truck. I offered to give them more, but they said that’s all they needed was a truck,” I say.
They are devoted. So I gave them a truck. I offered to give them more, but they said that’s all they needed was a truck,” I say.
“
Do you donate to every lighthouse we visit?” Joe asks.
Do you donate to every lighthouse we visit?” Joe asks.
“
Yes,” I answer. “It’s one of the privileges of being an accidental billionaire. You can give away as much money as you want to whoever you want whenever you want. And if you want to give some lighthouse people who live at the edge of the world a gift and all they want is a truck then you get to give them a truck.”
Yes,” I answer. “It’s one of the privileges of being an accidental billionaire. You can give away as much money as you want to whoever you want whenever you want. And if you want to give some lighthouse people who live at the edge of the world a gift and all they want is a truck then you get to give them a truck.”
“
Cool,” Joe says. “I remember all the driftwood on the stony beach. Giant trees that were hundreds of feet long and a dozen feet across. Forgotten fallen giants that had washed up as driftwood. Those trees would sink any ship that ran into them I think,” Joe says.
Cool,” Joe says. “I remember all the driftwood on the stony beach. Giant trees that were hundreds of feet long and a dozen feet across. Forgotten fallen giants that had washed up as driftwood. Those trees would sink any ship that ran into them I think,” Joe says.
We stare at the ocean for a while and drink our coffee and think about the driftwood and the lighthouses. This is something else I have always liked about Joe and about me and Joe. We can sit and think or sit and remember things and it is okay. We can be here and now, and we can be away, even while together. I think we may be unique this way.
“
Then we went to Nova Scotia,” I say.
Then we went to Nova Scotia,” I say.
“
Hey, who’s telling this story?” Joe asks in mock indignation. “But you’re right. We went to Nova Scotia and saw a hexagonal all white lighthouse and a pod of whales in the same moment. I’ve seen dolphins and sharks out here, and seen the billfish the fishermen bring in, and have even see the giant sea turtles. But I’d never seen a whale before. That was some trip.”
Hey, who’s telling this story?” Joe asks in mock indignation. “But you’re right. We went to Nova Scotia and saw a hexagonal all white lighthouse and a pod of whales in the same moment. I’ve seen dolphins and sharks out here, and seen the billfish the fishermen bring in, and have even see the giant sea turtles. But I’d never seen a whale before. That was some trip.”
“
Yes it was,” I add. I too recall seeing the whales and not knowing what they were at first and then becoming mesmerized by them. “We stayed an extra week just to go whale watching,” I say.
Yes it was,” I add. I too recall seeing the whales and not knowing what they were at first and then becoming mesmerized by them. “We stayed an extra week just to go whale watching,” I say.
“
Well…. There was something else going on besides whale watching,” Joe says.
Well…. There was something else going on besides whale watching,” Joe says.
Again we laugh. This is a great conversation. I didn’t know, not even after all these years together, that Joe was so fun to talk to. Our “conversations” over the years have been brief, our silences long, and our subject matter limited. Is this something else about Joe that I have missed out on? Or has waiting this long to have a conversation like this made it all the better for the wait? Like a wine of a fine vintage that should only be opened on a certain day in a certain year. Perhaps this conversation is a Chateau Lafitte because it has waited and anything rushed would have been an unsatisfying and unsophisticated Beaujolais Nouveau?
“
The little fishing villages were an education,” Joe says. “People living in the clapboard houses their grandparents or great grandparents had built. Little houses that it looks like the first stiff breeze would blow away, but that have endured hurricanes and nor’easters. Like the people there. They were a surprise. So weathered and wizened, and yet friendly to us.”
The little fishing villages were an education,” Joe says. “People living in the clapboard houses their grandparents or great grandparents had built. Little houses that it looks like the first stiff breeze would blow away, but that have endured hurricanes and nor’easters. Like the people there. They were a surprise. So weathered and wizened, and yet friendly to us.”
“
I think some of the women married to the fishermen got us,” Joe says.
I think some of the women married to the fishermen got us,” Joe says.
“
No-one gets us,” she says. “How could they?”
No-one gets us,” she says. “How could they?”
“
I think the wives of the fishermen got us,” he answers. “Their men go out on the fishing boats for thirty days in a row, then they are in port for five or six days, and then they are back out again for twenty or thirty days. Sometimes more. And there’s no communication when they’re out. But when they’re in port, from what I gather they are completely there.”
I think the wives of the fishermen got us,” he answers. “Their men go out on the fishing boats for thirty days in a row, then they are in port for five or six days, and then they are back out again for twenty or thirty days. Sometimes more. And there’s no communication when they’re out. But when they’re in port, from what I gather they are completely there.”
“
Or completely passed out drunk,” I add.
Or completely passed out drunk,” I add.
“
Not the ones who are married. That’s not what they told me. It made me think about how much time we actually get to spend together. When you and I are together in January, in Costa Rica, and at the lighthouses, we spend about twelve hours a day together, give or take. So that’s fifty days times twelve hours a day to get six hundred hours. And then in July we spend about four hours together for about twenty five days. So that’s another hundred hours. For a total of seven hundred hours.”
Not the ones who are married. That’s not what they told me. It made me think about how much time we actually get to spend together. When you and I are together in January, in Costa Rica, and at the lighthouses, we spend about twelve hours a day together, give or take. So that’s fifty days times twelve hours a day to get six hundred hours. And then in July we spend about four hours together for about twenty five days. So that’s another hundred hours. For a total of seven hundred hours.”
“
Doesn’t sound like a lot,” I say.
Doesn’t sound like a lot,” I say.
“
No it doesn’t. But when you compare it to Joe lunch pail and his soccer mom wife, it’s an astounding number. During the week they spend maybe a half hour together in the morning and maybe an hour together at night, so that’s about eight hours from Monday to Friday. Then maybe two hours on Saturday and three on Sunday. So that’s another five, which makes thirteen hours a week. Thirteen times fifty is about six hundred and fifty hours. I figure on two weeks of vacation they spend four hours a day together, for another sixty five hours. Comes out to a little more than seven hundred hours.”
No it doesn’t. But when you compare it to Joe lunch pail and his soccer mom wife, it’s an astounding number. During the week they spend maybe a half hour together in the morning and maybe an hour together at night, so that’s about eight hours from Monday to Friday. Then maybe two hours on Saturday and three on Sunday. So that’s another five, which makes thirteen hours a week. Thirteen times fifty is about six hundred and fifty hours. I figure on two weeks of vacation they spend four hours a day together, for another sixty five hours. Comes out to a little more than seven hundred hours.”
“
So they spend more time together than we do,” I say. “Nice math Joe. Really made your point.”
So they spend more time together than we do,” I say. “Nice math Joe. Really made your point.”
“
Wait for it. Out of those seven hundred hours, how much time are they really together? I mean really together. Like you and me now, or us on the beach, or us in bed. How much time are they completely and totally in the moment with each other and not chasing after a kid or watching the television or doing something else? I’m guessing not a lot.”
Wait for it. Out of those seven hundred hours, how much time are they really together? I mean really together. Like you and me now, or us on the beach, or us in bed. How much time are they completely and totally in the moment with each other and not chasing after a kid or watching the television or doing something else? I’m guessing not a lot.”
“
Okay, now I get it,” I say. He has made an excellent point. Maybe our deal is the way other people could live too. Do your own thing for long chunks of time and then be together for long chunks of time. Really together, not half-assing it, not only paying partial attention.
Okay, now I get it,” I say. He has made an excellent point. Maybe our deal is the way other people could live too. Do your own thing for long chunks of time and then be together for long chunks of time. Really together, not half-assing it, not only paying partial attention.
“
But you’re right,” he says. “Because even the fishermen’s wives didn’t really get us. They couldn’t figure out how we stay together when you live in Ohio and I live in North Carolina.”
But you’re right,” he says. “Because even the fishermen’s wives didn’t really get us. They couldn’t figure out how we stay together when you live in Ohio and I live in North Carolina.”
“
It works for me,” I say.
It works for me,” I say.
“
Me too,” Joe says. “So what lighthouse are we going to next?” he asks.
Me too,” Joe says. “So what lighthouse are we going to next?” he asks.
“
That’s for me to know and you to find out,” I answer.
That’s for me to know and you to find out,” I answer.
We laugh again. At the same answer to the same question he has asked all these past years. It is one of our traditions, part of who we are. Part of our routines and part of our habits and as predictable as the tide. Yes we are like the tide. For although we are predictable, although you can tell precisely when we will occur, you can never predict what will wash up on each tide, and what will be left behind when that tide is gone.
Shannon and Joe
“
How’d the race go?” Joe asks.
How’d the race go?” Joe asks.
“
I came fifty ninth out of 250,” Shannon answers.
I came fifty ninth out of 250,” Shannon answers.
“
Fifth or ninth is pretty good. You’re nearly fifty you know.”
Fifth or ninth is pretty good. You’re nearly fifty you know.”
“
Fifty-ninth. The number after fifty eight, the number close to how old you are,” Shannon says.
Fifty-ninth. The number after fifty eight, the number close to how old you are,” Shannon says.
“
Oh,” Joe says. “What happened?”
Oh,” Joe says. “What happened?”
“
I couldn’t keep up,” Shannon answers. “I think my training is out of whack. I might have to start doing some speed work on the track,” Shannon says.
I couldn’t keep up,” Shannon answers. “I think my training is out of whack. I might have to start doing some speed work on the track,” Shannon says.
Joe shakes his head and surveys the woman who has been in his life for ten years. Her hair is more gray, the lines near her eyes are more pronounced, and there are a few spots on her hands. Her posture is erect with no sign of the osteoporosis that is epidemic amongst American women. She seems the same to him as ever. Except for the disappointment of having come 59
th
in a race in which she usually finishes in the top three and won in her second try.
th
in a race in which she usually finishes in the top three and won in her second try.
Her bags are packed and ready to go. She asks for Joe to call a bellman and a cart to carry her bags to her car. It is the first time she has done so.
“
That race really took a lot out of me,” she says. “I might be coming down with something.”
That race really took a lot out of me,” she says. “I might be coming down with something.”
“
So why don’t you stay a day or two until you feel better? I don’t want you driving if you’re getting a cold or the flu,” Joe says.
So why don’t you stay a day or two until you feel better? I don’t want you driving if you’re getting a cold or the flu,” Joe says.
She squeezes his hand, kisses his cheek. “It’s sweet of you to worry, but I’ll be fine. And I’d rather be sick at home than sick in a hotel.”
They go to her car together, and he kisses her one more time. He holds his hand against her forehead.
“
You don’t feel feverish,” he says.
You don’t feel feverish,” he says.
“
Then probably just a cold,” she replies.
Then probably just a cold,” she replies.
She kisses him again then gets in her car.
“
I’ll see you at Vista Guapa,” she says.
I’ll see you at Vista Guapa,” she says.
Shannon
“
So this is what a hundred million dollars buys?” Shannon asks.
So this is what a hundred million dollars buys?” Shannon asks.
“
Yes,” Cara answers. “Let me show you around.
Yes,” Cara answers. “Let me show you around.
The sisters are touring Cara’s new lab. Serious looking people in white lab coats are trying not to look too obvious as they try to catch a glimpse of Cara’s sister, the billionaire donor who has donated this lab and the money for them to keep their jobs.
“
Without this money most of these people would be out of work,” Cara says.
Without this money most of these people would be out of work,” Cara says.
“
Why?”
Why?”
“
The government just doesn’t fund cancer research anymore,” Cara says.
The government just doesn’t fund cancer research anymore,” Cara says.
“
Well then it’s a good thing we struck oil,” Shannon says.
Well then it’s a good thing we struck oil,” Shannon says.
“
Or that
you
did anyway,” Cara corrects her.
Or that
you
did anyway,” Cara corrects her.
“
You know what I mean,” Shannon says.
You know what I mean,” Shannon says.
They share a sisterly laugh.
“
What’s that?” Shannon asks, pointing at a piece of equipment near a lab bench.
What’s that?” Shannon asks, pointing at a piece of equipment near a lab bench.
“
It’s a hand held scanner that we use to examine tumors in the mice we are using for our study.”
It’s a hand held scanner that we use to examine tumors in the mice we are using for our study.”
“
How’s it work?” Shannon asks.
How’s it work?” Shannon asks.
“
Well, it turns out that certain types of tumors will auto-fluoresce if you hit them with just the right wavelengths of light in just the right pattern. So all we have to do is wand an animal with this scanner and then we can get photographs of the tumor margins from the auto-fluorescence. We don’t need to do MRI or PET or x-rays or anything.”
Well, it turns out that certain types of tumors will auto-fluoresce if you hit them with just the right wavelengths of light in just the right pattern. So all we have to do is wand an animal with this scanner and then we can get photographs of the tumor margins from the auto-fluorescence. We don’t need to do MRI or PET or x-rays or anything.”
“
Cool,” Shannon says. “Can you show me?”
Cool,” Shannon says. “Can you show me?”
“
For my biggest donor? Of course,” Cara says.
For my biggest donor? Of course,” Cara says.
A lab assistant delivers a mouse that has a tumor in its flank.
Cara takes the mouse in her hand, where the mouse seems perfectly content. “It doesn’t hurt them, and they don’t even seem aware that they’re being tested,” Cara says. She turns on the equipment and begins slowly moving the wand from the mouse’s nose towards its tail.
“
Is that it?” Shannon says. “Right there on its haunches.”
Is that it?” Shannon says. “Right there on its haunches.”
“
Yes,” Cara says.
Yes,” Cara says.
“
That is cool. Can I try?”
That is cool. Can I try?”
“
Sure,” Cara says. “You’re not afraid to hold the mouse?”
Sure,” Cara says. “You’re not afraid to hold the mouse?”
“
If you can take it, I can take it,” Shannon says.
If you can take it, I can take it,” Shannon says.
“
It’s funny because that’s what the little boy that came to visit said.”
It’s funny because that’s what the little boy that came to visit said.”
“
What little boy?”
What little boy?”
“
You remember the one whose sister died and she’d asked to meet Danny for her wish so that her dad and brother could meet her?”
You remember the one whose sister died and she’d asked to meet Danny for her wish so that her dad and brother could meet her?”
“
Yes,” Shannon says.
Yes,” Shannon says.
“
Anyway. He wanted to wand his dad and then himself to make sure they didn’t have cancer. He did it here that first fall after you met Joe. Remember?”
Anyway. He wanted to wand his dad and then himself to make sure they didn’t have cancer. He did it here that first fall after you met Joe. Remember?”
“
That’s right. He sent Danny.”
That’s right. He sent Danny.”
“
Actually she came on her own. You know that.”
Actually she came on her own. You know that.”
“
Yes I suppose I do.”
Yes I suppose I do.”
“
That kid did the same thing the next summer when I started visiting the Foundation at UNCW. He’s in med school right now. Actually an MD-Ph.D. program. He’s going to do a rotation in my lab for a year. Here you try,” Cara says.
That kid did the same thing the next summer when I started visiting the Foundation at UNCW. He’s in med school right now. Actually an MD-Ph.D. program. He’s going to do a rotation in my lab for a year. Here you try,” Cara says.
She hands the mouse and the wand to Shannon. Shannon begins to wand the mouse and the tumor once again lights up.
“
Does it work the same way on humans?” Shannon asks. She begins passing the wand up her arm.
Does it work the same way on humans?” Shannon asks. She begins passing the wand up her arm.
“
We’re working on that,” Cara says. “We’ve been working on that for nearly ten years. It has a depth of penetration problem we haven’t been able to solve.”
We’re working on that,” Cara says. “We’ve been working on that for nearly ten years. It has a depth of penetration problem we haven’t been able to solve.”
“
Well. If it does, I think I might have a problem,” Shannon says.
Well. If it does, I think I might have a problem,” Shannon says.
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