The Trouble With Bodyguards: Part 3 (6 page)

              A soft sound drilled into his unconscious mind, dragging him from his dreams. Someone was humming, sitting very near the edge of his bed, their thumb stroking rhythmic patterns on the back of his hand. He wanted to slap them, to punish them for waking him. He had been dancing with her, his angel, in his dream, and it had been wonderful.

              Groaning, he reached up, swatting away the offending hand without even bothering to open his eyes. He knew who it was, who would have such gall as to lay hands on him while he was unconscious. He could smell the sweat on Gin
a’
s skin, the scent of her unwashed body as familiar to him as his own by now. Screwing his eyes tightly shut, he rolled over, turning away from where she held vigil by the side of his bed. The bedsprings creaked as she shifted her weight, lying down in the bed next to him, fitting herself against his back as a spoon in a drawer, her arm thrown over his waist. She continued to hum, planting tiny kisses on the back of his t-shirt.

             
Why is she here,
he thought. She was going to be free of this prison soon, free of him. He wished she would go and leave him alone again. He would go back to the original plan, go back to trying to convince the doctors that he was sane enough to be let out. He did
n’
t need her for this;he did
n’
t need her at all. He willed himself to go back to sleep, back to his dance with his angel. He tried to ignore the heat of Gin
a’
s body against his back, as the steady beat of her heart pounded in his ears.

              The dream washed over him again, the soft humming of Gin
a’
s tune transforming into orchestral music, swirling around him as he held Alex in his arms. She was radiant, the light of the bright, afternoon sun warming her skin to the touch. She smiled broadly, throwing her head back in a throaty laugh as he spun her around the large courtyard. There were flowers everywhere, acres of blooms of every color as far as the eye could see. This moment was perfect; their love was perfect.

              Gazing deeply into her eyes, he could see the love glimmering in their depths. He held her close to him, her body conforming to his, fitting against him as they turned in the sunshine. Dipping his head, he pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss, warmth spreading through his body at the intensity of their love. She kissed him back, her lips parting, as she deepened the kiss. He could taste the punch that she had had with lunch on her lips.

              Punch?

              What?

              Jaco
b’
s eyes flew open, and he jumped with shock, the realization that in his sleep he had turned and embraced Gina. She had snuggled up next to him, turning her head to accept his gentle kiss, not knowing that he was deeply asleep, dreaming of kissing another woman. Tears sprung to her eyes when she saw the horror in his expression upon waking. What she thought was a moment of sweetness between them soured quickly, and she slunk away from him, slipping out of the bed and scurrying to the door.

            
 “
I
,
” she said, wiping at her tears as she stood in the doorway, unsure of what had just happened
.“I’
m sorry I woke you
.
”

            
 “
Oh Gina
,
” he said, lying on his back, blowing out a frustrated breath
.“
Just go away and leave me alone
.
”

…

Mortified, he sat, unable to breathe as he watched the nurse escort her father into the day room. He was an older man, his hair graying at the temples, his face lined with years of stress from dealing with his uncontrollable daughter. Gina stood on the far side of the room, nervously chewing at her already torn and bloody cuticles, her hands perpetually in her mouth for comfort. The man stopped, smiling weakly at his daughter across the room, and beckoned her to come to him, holding out his arms in a gesture of greeting. Gina made a choked sound, tears welling up in her eyes as she ran across the room and fell into her fathe
r’
s embrace.

“
Oh daddy
,
” she cried, the tears spilling down her cheeks. He had come to rescue her, to take her out of this wretched prison and out into the world again.

“
Shh
,
” said her father, gently stroking her hair
.“
Do
n’
t cry
,
” he continued
.“
It will be ok
.
”

He turned his gaze toward the door, where a woman of about thirty stood in the hall, hesitant to walk into the dayroom. She had her arms crossed protectively over her chest, as if protecting herself from whatever danger still lurked in the heart of the daughter that had attempted to kill her not so long ago. The man smiled, nodding his head to let his wife know that it was alright, that everything was going to be fine now, that their beautiful daughter was cured, and that the danger had passed.

The woman visibly screwed up her courage, still unsure of anything, and walked to her husban
d’
s side.

Gina pulled away from her father, her face red and swollen from her outburst of tears, and turned to her mother. They stood staring at each other for a long moment, each apprehensive of the other. Gina made the first move, stepping toward her mother and slipping her arms around her waist. The woman froze, still afraid of this creature and what she was capable of, looking to her husband over the top of the gir
l’
s head. He nodded, smiling through unshed tears, and the woman hesitantly put her arms around the girl, patting her awkwardly on the back.

She was good
, he thought. H
e’
d give her that. She had them all convinced, had pulled the wool over everyon
e’
s eyes. They thought she was cured, that she had battled her demons and won. That it was safe to let her out of the cage.

He wanted to spit, to rinse the taste of bile out of his mouth. He knew the real Gina and had seen the hatred in her eyes when she talked about this woman, this monster that she was currently clinging to. There would never be trust and never be the love that should be found between a mother and child. But Gina knew that in order to be set free from her prison, she needed to put on an excellent show for the crowd.

So she wept, her arms wrapped tightly around the woman whom she hated more than anything in the whole world. She looked to her father, a weak smile on her face as she wiped the tears off her cheeks and swiped at her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.

Jake sat in his chair across the room and watched the whole scene play out as if he were watching a bad sitcom on the television. The lies, the deceit, the heartwarming reunion between mother and child. Soon the credits would roll and another act would take the stage, a murder mystery, complete with the grim details of the crime, all to be solved in under an hour with the help of a crack team of forensic investigators. He would watch for it on the news and in the papers. Eventually this little girl would succeed andwould end her mothe
r’
s life. It might not be soon. Gina was too smart to get put in here again, but it would happen.

The nurse touched her father, saying something to him, her voice soft enough that Jake could not hear her words across the day room. He smiled at Gina, running his hands up and down her arms, and kissed her on the forehead. It was time;he and his wife were to go and sit with the doctors to discuss his daughte
r’
s progress in healing in the months that she had been locked in this place. It was time for them to discuss whether she should rejoin their lives on the outside. Would they be safe with her back in the home? Could she be trusted? He took his wife into his arms, leading her down the hall after the nurse.

Gina wiped at her nose with the sleeve of her sweater, the skin on her face blotchy and red from her tears. Sniffling, she looked around the room, observing the audience to her little performance, gauging their reaction to her skill. She met Jak
e’
s eyes across the room, and she walked toward him, a triumphant smile spreading on her mouth.

“
Hey
,
” she said, falling into the chair in front of him, her back to the rest of the room
.“
Looks like
I’
m going to get out of here today
.
”

“
Uh huh
,
” he said
.“
Looks like it
.
” Rage boiled inside him as he stared at her. He suppressed the urge to jump across the small space between them, reach out, grab at her throat, and throttle her to death. It should have been he who was walking out that door today, breathing the sweet air of the world outside these walls. All he had done, all he had endured, and she was the one who had played her part to perfection. She was the one who had managed to fool them all into thinking that she was sane, that she was safe.

“
Are you going to miss me
?”
she asked, turning her doe eyes on him, taking one last opportunity to flirt with him.

“
No
,
” he said, angry and betrayed by his own actions. He did
n’
t need to keep up this ruse any longer. Hedid
n’
t need to pretend to be in love with this crazy bitch.

“
Yes you are
,
” she said, convincing herself. She smiled at him, a drip of snot clinging to the end of her red nose
.“
But I will call you
,
” she continued
,“
and I will send you presents
.
”

“
You will
?”
he said. Perhaps he still needed to use her after all. She would be able to send him magazines, pictures of his angel for his collection.

“
Yup
,
” she said, leaning over and kissing his cheek. He could feel a wet spot left where the drip had transferred to his own face, and he wiped away at it with the back of his hand, disgusted.

An hour passed, and then two, as they sat waiting for her parents to emerge from their meeting with the doctors. She fidgeted, shifting in her chair, attempting to watch the television with the rest of them, before giving up and standing before the window, wringing her hands as she stared out at the courtyard. She could not be still, nervous tension flooding her body as she waited for them to return to announce the verdict. Would she be walking out the door with them today, or would she be trapped in this place for another few months, or perhaps forever?

The nurse called out from the doorway, catching her attention, making her jump
.“
Gina
,
” she called
,“
come with me
.
”

Gina ran to her; Jake forgotten and ignored in his corner where he sat, sullen and alone, watching his most important attempt to appear normal and healthy walk out through the locked door of their cage and into the real world with the rest of the normals.

He realized that he would never see her again. That his life would return to a strict routine of loneliness with nothing to break the monotony. He took comfort in the knowledge that he would be able to spend his nights alone, in his room with his photos, that he would no longer need to appease her relentless sexual needs. However, he would need to find another tool in his plan to escape. He felt hopeless, betrayed, and abandoned, usually her list of symptoms of mania, now absorbed by him in her absence. He stood, wiping away at the spot on his cheek where she had kissed him last, wanting to remove every mark that she had made on his life.

He wanted to be with his photographs; hewanted to gaze upon his ange
l—
she who would never leave him if she had had the choice. He walked to his room, his body heavy from the high stress level of the day. He felt as though he were dragging himself down the hallway, heading back into hell.

Alex sat up in bed, a sound of surprise coming from her. Her hands went to her swollen stomach, a strange sensation having woken her from her dream. She sucked in a breath, trying to calm her suddenly racing heart. Had there been a nightmare? She did
n’
t think so, something physical had ripped her from her dreams. She threw off the blankets, dangling her legs over the edge of the bed, cradling her belly in her hands. Her bladder called for attention, and she struggled to stand, the weight of her pregnancy making it more and more difficult each day to do even the simplest of things. She had given up on wearing shoes, spending each day in slippers or sandals that could easily be slipped on and off, because she was unable to bend over to tie her shoes, let alone see her own feet.

She flipped on the light in the bathroom, closing the door behind her so that the light would not wake Rick; he deserved his sleep. He had done so much to take care of her, of them, working so hard to get everything ready for the coming of their daughter. The nursery was set up and painted, a small room next to the master bedroom in their new house, decorated in pink and purple, stuffed animals filling each and every spare corner. He was so in love with their little bundle already, coming home with presents for her seemingly each time he left the house.

She smiled, so in love, so happy with how their lives had turned out. It had been the actions of his brother that had brought them together, and though he was a monster that had tried to kill them both, she would be eternally grateful that things had gone the way that they had. Without Jake and his unnatural obsession with her, she would never have Rick, or the tiny girl growing in her womb.

Having relieved her screaming bladder, she stood at the sink, running her hands under the stream of warm water, her body heavy with sleep. She turned off the tap, her eyes drawn to her reflection in the large mirror on the wall. She was nude, none of her nightclothes fitting comfortably around her swollen body. Her breasts were full, heavily swollen, and ready to feed her infant when it was time. Her belly was gigantic, round and tight, shining in the warm light of the room. Since the last ultrasound, showing that the baby was turned and ready for delivery, Alex felt as though she could see their daughter through her skin, touching the places where her tiny hands and feet should be, rubbing her daughte
r’
s back through her own skin. She spread the palm of her hand on her belly, smiling as she felt the tiny creature within her press back upon her hand.

A radiating pain shot through her as the muscles of her belly contracted, making her gasp and reach for the bathroom counter for support. Liquid poured down her thighs, splashing on the tile floor, soaking the nearby bathmat. She cried out, her head swimming with a sudden rush of adrenaline at the pain. It was time; their baby was coming tonight.

...

She had kept her promise, calling him each week on the telephone, coming to visit him in his hell. If it were him, he would have walked away and never looked back, but Gina was a different creature than he; she needed this connection with him. He doubted that this crazy girl would be able to find love with a normal; they would see it in her right away and not be able to look past it. Jake appreciated her crazy;it was the only thing that made her interesting. It bothered him, how he enjoyed her phone calls. Any distraction from the monotony of the day to day life at the hospital was welcome, even if it was from Gina. He had
n’
t expected to miss her and had looked forward to things going back to normal, but he had found himself time and again lying in bed staring at the ceiling, wondering where she was and what she was doing.

He comforted himself with his photos, turning to them each night, pulling the box out from under the bed, surrounding himself with the image of his angel, immersing himself in visions of the lives that they could have together. He gazed at the picture of her with her belly swollen with child and imagined that it was his seed planted in her, his family that was being created. He would make a wonderful father, a loving husband, working hard to give that child the safe and happy life that he had not been granted.

“
Jacob
,
” called the orderly from behind the glass of the office adjacent to the day room
.“
You have a package
.
”

They were allowed to receive packages in here. The boxes were opened behind closed doors, their contents sorted and reviewed, and once deemed safe to the stability of the mental health of the patient, as well as not being dangerous to their little society as a whole, the recipient was allowed to accept his gift from the outside world.

Jake crossed to the window, where each morning and night the lunatics would line up and obediently swallow their small cups full of pills before being sent back out into the group. This time, instead of pills, he was handed a small cardboard box, the tape having been cut open, its insides rifled through by the orderly. It felt like a violation, as if he could have no surprises and no privacy, his life examined for his own safety.

“
That little girlfriend of yours sure sends you some strange presents
,
” said the orderly, peeking over the edge of the box.

Jacob covered the top of the box with his arm, as if attempting to shield its contents. It did
n’
t matter to him that this guy had just been examining everything in there, making his own judgements. He did
n’
t want to discuss the things in there with anyone. Politely thanking the guard for the box, he scurried away, down the hall to his room, and rushed inside, pulling the door firmly shut behind him.

With his back against the door, he let himself slide to the floor, the box cradled gently in his arms. His breath was tight in his chest with excitement. Had she done it, sent him the things that he had asked her for?

              She had seemed confused when he finally felt that the time was right to ask her for what he really wanted, what he treasured more than anything in the world.

“
Jake
,
” she giggled through the phone
,“
if you need something to jack off to, why do
n’
t I send you some real porn instead of stupid old fashion magazines. Or, if we want to really have some fun, I can take some naked selfies and mailthose to you. Really give those filthy old orderly perverts a thrill
.
”

“
No
,
” he stammered, frustrated. It was always about sex with her. Every conversation that they had, whether it be on the telephone or on one of her visits, eventually turned to what type of underwear she was wearing, or which corner they could sneak off into and not be noticed for a few minutes
.“
I
t’
s no
t….
” He paused, trying to think of the right words to say without raising her suspicions
.“
I like the photography
,
” he said, keeping it simple, close to the truth but not entirely truthful. He had asked her to send him a stack of the new fashion magazines. He knew that the Fall lines had come out, and that each designer had done a full spread in one magazine or another. He hoped, in searching the glossy pages, that someone had taken the time to turn the lens on his angel, perhaps a story on her pregnancy, and her image would fill the pages in front of him, her words, her voice. It was the only way that he could be with her from inside this place, and it had been too long.

Folding back the sides of the box, Jake reached gingerly into the dim space inside, trailing his fingertips along foreign textures, attempting to identify the items inside before extricating them from the shipping container. Confused, he furrowed his brow as he ran across something silky, almost wet feeling on the top of the pile. Pinching it between his fingers, he lifted it from the box and held it out to the light. Black satin panties, small black bows made of lace holding the edges together, dangled from the end of his finger. She had worn the
m—
he could tel
l—
and sent them to him to freshen the memory of the scent of her body.

              He set them on the floor near his knee, ignoring them for now. He would need to hide them later, along with everything else, to keep the nurses or the orderlies from stealing his treasures from his room again. Reaching back into the box, he withdrew a stack of Polaroid photographs, held together in a bundle with a red rubber band. He pulled the band off of them, flipping quickly through two dozen or so images of Gin
a’
s body contorted into ridiculous poses that he assumed that she thought were sexy. She licked her lips, pinched her nipples, and penetrated her body with all sorts of kitchen acquired sex toys.

              He set the photographs aside, digging deeper into his present, searching for the true treasure at the bottom of the box. Slipping his fingers along the edge of the box, he counted them as he passed their spines on the way to the bottom. One, two, three, fou
r…
. There were five.Five glossy paged portals to the outside worl
d—
where his angel walked among the beautifully false and the powerfully ignorant.

He lifted them gently, discarding the box on the floor, as he cradled them in his lap. The light from the bedside lamp reflected off the cover of the top one, a painfully thin black girl on the cover, looking as though she were about to burst into tears. A thin, white dress hung from her shoulders, her frame delicate and fragile as glass beneath the muslin. Made him sick, that this should be the standard of beauty that society holds so dear. He wanted to feed her, take her to a hospital, not be her, and not make love to her.

Moving past the image on the cover, he gently turned the pages of the magazine, scanning each page in search of his angel. The level of his disgust rose with every sunken cheekbone, the razorblade sharpness of every pointed elbow. He skimmed them all, his eyes flitting past them, uninterested in what society called beautiful. He knew true beauty, absolute loveliness of mind and body, and he searched relentlessly for her, growing frantic as he tossed the first magazine into the box, reaching for the next in the pile.

Here, he found her, buried under pages and pages of emaciated women, displaying their bodies as cheap whores in an effort to sell perfume that cost more than an average man made in a month. His breath caught in his chest as he was overcome, emotion welling up inside him as he ran his finger along the curve of her chin, the soft pout of her delicious lips.

The article caught his eye, and he began to read. Details of her life since his entrapment in this place were to him morsels of the most delicious delicacy. After receiving an award for dramatic fashion photography, involving a gala party at a gallery downtown where she was pictured in a fitted black dress and heels, fully showcasing her body, ripe with child and ready to burst, she was stepping back from the business. She was taking a hiatus to spend time with her family after the birth of her first child. She had moved into a new home, a place in the country where she would be comfortable raising her daughter, Mia.

Turning the page, his stomach dropped, all blood leaving his face. His heart beat heavy in his chest, his fingers trembling as he held the magazine tentatively by its edges. Before him was an image of a perfect family. The young woman, a soft and knowing smile on her lips, gazing down at the child in her arms, its cheeks rosy as it slept. The young man, his arm wrapped protectively around his bride, had a look of pride in his eyes.

He wanted to tear the page, to rend their happy family asunder. Rage boiled beneath the surface of his skin, hatred resurrecting from where it had been very shallowly buried. His brother, his stupid, evil, fucking brother, swooping in,taking the thing that he coveted most, and claiming the prize as his own. He did
n’
t deserve to be happy, living the life that Jake had dreamed about. He was the one who should be locked up and punished as a thief.

Jak
e’
s jaw ached, as he ground his teeth with frustration. He wished that motherfucker had died that night in the bunker when he had shot him. They could have gotten away and ran off together to start their life. It would be he, Jake, with his arms around his precious family, protecting them from the evils of this world. He spat on the floor, the saliva pooling in his mouth. He thought he would be sick.

Standing, he stumbled across the room, the magazine dangling from his hand. He made it to the desk, yanking the drawer open, jostling the few items that were inside. He was not allowed to have scissors or sharpened pencils or ball point pens, as the doctors were always afraid that one of their patients would try and commit suicide, which would mean a whole afternoon of paperwork for them when they could be sipping gin on the veranda after sunset. What he did have, after it had been deemed impossible for him to cut his own throat with it when left alone, was a thick, black Sharpie marker.  He pulled the cap off with his teeth, spitting it onto the floor at his feet and slapped the magazine down on the desktop, open to the page of his angel with his wretched brother wrapped around her.

He ran the tip of the marker over his brothe
r’
s face, eradicating him from the picture. He did
n’
t deserve this happiness, any of it, and Jake could not stand to see the smug look on his face. As he blacked out his eyes and filled in the void of his slightly open mouth, his mind was flooded with memories of that night. While his angel lay waiting for him to come to her, to take her in his arms and carry her away from the dark, his brother had lay at his feet, dark red blood pooling underneath his body.