The Trouble with Polly Brown (98 page)

Mildred obliged and calmly walked over to her ladyship. A few words were then exchanged.

“Well, thank you for letting me know, Lady Butterkist. I will do all in my power to ensure such a thing never happens again. You can rest assured on this one,” Mildred bristled through tightly pursed lips.

“I would be most grateful if you would see to it that it doesn't,” Lady Butterkist retorted. “Now, please show me to the door, for we do need to be on our way.”

“I'd be more than glad to,” a harassed Mildred meanly muttered.

As they headed toward the door, Polly called out her last good-bye. Lady Butterkist turned around just in time to catch her heading up the oak staircase and called out for Polly to come and see her off.

“Mildred, I do have one final request.”

“Yes, Lady B. What might that be?” Mildred attempted most sweetly to ask.

“Well, would you mind very much if I were to have a moment alone with Polly?”

“Oh, absolutely!” Mildred snorted. “I, for one, have need of getting my little ones to bed, and Boritz, well, he has a number of letters that he urgently needs to write. Don't you, dearest?”

“Uh. Oh, yes, if you say so, dearest.”

“Well, thank you both once again for your wonderful hospitality, and hopefully I will be in touch sometime in the not-too-distant future,” she said, giving a warm, enduring smile.

“Oh, and do please send us a postcard or two,” Boritz ever-sopolitely pleaded.

“Yes, perhaps I will,” Lady Butterkist responded, very tongue in cheek.

She then waited patiently until she was sure that Polly's guardians were well out of earshot. “Giles, be a dear. Hold on to Tiddles for me while you stand on guard,” she politely ordered.

“Very well, madam.”

“Polly dear, I have something on my person that I believe rightfully belongs to you.”

“I'm not too sure what you mean by that, Lady B.,” was Polly's initial response.

Her ladyship placed her hand deep into her pocket.

“I am referring to this!”

“Oh goodness. My ring!”

“Yes, my dear, your ring. Now, I would strongly advise that you hide it away in that special place.”

“Special place?”

“Yes, dear. Now don't pretend you don't know where I'm suggesting.”

“No, Lady B. I have no idea of where you are thinking.”

“Why, in young Langdon's belly, of course, yes, for the purpose of safety. And I have every reason to believe that your guardians will never think to look there.”

“Thank you Lady B., but as soon as Uncle discovers the ring is missing there will be all hell to pay until it is back in his possession,” Polly anxiously cried. “They will strip the place bare and punish us all until someone finally owns up. Yes, our lives would become even more unbearable so you had better take it back.”

“Polly, please do not get yourself in a tizzy. I promise you I have taken care of this for I have replaced the ring with something pretty similar, and that, young lady, is all that I'm prepared to say on the matter.”

“Oh, Lady B., tell me quickly, how on earth did you come to get it back?”

“Never you mind, dear, for until such a time as I am forced to stand in front of a judge and jury and confess, all I am prepared to say at this moment is ‘Finders keepers, losers weepers,'” she said, giving a most wicked smirk.

“Lady B., you are quite something. Truly you are,” Polly said as she reached over to give her one final, extremely overzealous Polly hug.

“Keep telling me, my dear. Keep telling me. Now, listen to me, Polly dear. Things will seem much better for a time, but mark my words, it won't be for too long.”

“Yes, I realize that, for lepers don't change their spots, do they?” Polly very glumly stated.

“There you again, Miss Malaprop, for it's a
leopard
, not a
leper
, that never changes its spots,” she gently corrected. “Anyway, what I was about to say was, if you need to get a message to me, I would suggest you place it for safety in Langdon's belly, and one way or another it will get to me. So promise me, Polly, even if others don't recognize you to be a true princess, you can still act like one. Stay kind and charitable, and trust your conscience to guide you. Until such times as we meet again—and trust me when I say we will meet again—I will have you in my thoughts and prayers,” she said, giving Polly one final long hug. “Yes, the real trouble with you, Polly Brown, is that you are truly special.”

“And so are you,” Polly quipped.

“Oh, Polly, I have no trouble believing it about myself, but you, my dear, well, you still need to work on that one.”

“I hear you, Lady B. Giles, may I give you a hug and thank you for everything?”

Giles handed over Tiddles to Lady B. and then gave Polly a long, fatherly hug.

Polly then stood at the front door and waved until the car disappeared from sight.

“Madam, I have to admit to feeling quite teary-eyed and emotional at this moment,” Giles confessed.

“Oh, Giles, if that is the case, then I propose we stop on the motorway and have ourselves a nice, strong cup of tea.”

“Thank you, madam, that sounds like a very good idea.”

Meanwhile, back in his private study Boritz sat in an undeniable stupor with his eyes firmly fixed on the check lying on the desk in front of him.

Then there was a knock on the door, and Mildred quickly entered, holding their youngest child in her arms.

“Dearest, I have just brought Jeremy in for you to give a quick kiss good night.”

“Yes, yes, dear.”

“Hasn't it been a long and very strange day?” Mildred casually commented.

“Yes, and my, what an eccentric old biddy she is!” he loudly muttered.

“She's no more eccentric than you are, my dear,” Mildred quickly retorted.

“Hmm. Mildred, tell me now, precisely what did Lady Butterkist wish to say to you in private?”

“Well, apparently when Gailey returned Polly's dress and shoes, they were virtually ruined.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the old battle-axe complained that the dress was badly torn, and the shoes were missing some of the sequin studs. As for the tiara, sad to say, she made sure that this too was completely destroyed.”

“Oh my goodness. How absolutely embarrassing!” he said, shaking his head in a show of utter disbelief.

“I should say so. We must make sure Gailey never resorts to this sort of ridiculous behavior again, or at least while the old crow is around.”

“Tell me, Mildred dearest, were you in any way able to appease her?”

“Well, as I did not wish to exacerbate the situation by defending dear Gailey, I was left with little choice other than to fully humble myself and give the old bat something of a meaningful apology. I also promised it would not happen again.”

“Well, for the time being, perhaps it would behoove us all to try and be nicer to Polly, although heaven knows just how difficult a task this might well turn out to be,” Boritz helpfully suggested, his eyes remaining firmly glued on the substantial figures written on the check in front of him.

“Yes, Mildred, my sweet pea, if we want to see more money in the coffers, we will have to find other, more preferable ways to discipline her.”

“I think you mean ‘more subtle' ways. Don't you, Boritz dear?”

“My sentiments exactly.”

“Sadly, you could be right on that one, Boritz dearest,” she very churlishly admitted, “although the girl is such a problem and headache, it will be difficult to find other, more suitable forms of punishment. Don't you think?”

“Well, Mildred, my sweet pea, let us put all such headaches to one side as we joy and revel in this latest exceedingly charitable donation,” he brightly suggested.

“Yes, we'll get Miss Scrimp to organize the foster children and get them to bed early, and I'll get our little brood ready for bed. Then it's high time we celebrated. Here, Jeremy, say good night to daddy,” Mildred cooed as she placed their youngest child in front of him for a quick bedtime kiss and cuddle.

“Night night, sleepy byes coochy coo. Daddy loves you. Kissy kissy.”

The young toddler began to make pleasurable giggles and gurgles, which encouraged Boritz to continue on with the daft baby talk that, ridiculous as it may seem, all gooey-eyed parents cannot fail but act out.

Suddenly and without warning, tragedy struck. The young infant's foot accidentally hit his father's large glass of water. The glass tumbled over, and the water spilled out all over the desk, drenching everything in its path, the check included.

“Mildred, you stupid woman!” he screeched. “Here, take Jeremy, and then quickly get me a cloth, anything!” he roughly ordered.

A panicked Mildred, with the bouncy toddler in her arms, raced around the room desperately looking for anything that might soak up the water before all documents on his table suffered irretrievably from severe water damage. Sadly, she was not quick enough.

Boritz let out a death-defying scream as he watched the figures on the check disappear one by one, as the ink bled into the rest of the check. He was left feeling wildly impotent, for there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

“Mildred, how could you possibly let this happen?” he raged.

“Temper, temper!” Mildred angrily retorted.

Boritz ripped off his shirt and vest in his desperate attempt to mop up and thus salvage the check and save it from further water damage. These last-ditch attempts proved just as futile, for the more he attempted to dry the check, the more it smudged, causing the ink to rather sadly stain his expensive shirt as well as his vest. He then resorted to using some old blotting paper, but this too was of no use. This unbelievable and most unfortunate crisis continued on until the check was thoroughly beyond all redemption.

“I, for one, cannot believe this has happened,” Boritz woefully wailed as with the tips of his fingers he picked the soggy check up from the desk to wave it in the air. The soaking wet check immediately began to break off into little pieces. “Oh, this is so, so terrible,” he wailed and whimpered.

“Well, can't you get her to write another check?” Mildred helpfully muttered.

“Oh, you stupid woman, how do I do that?” he sneered.

“Simple! You put pen to paper and write to her, of course,” Mildred quickly retaliated.

“Woman, were you not listening to anything while she was here?”

“What sort of stupid question is that? Of course I was listening.”

“Well, it is quite obvious to me that you've failed to clean your ears out; otherwise you would realize that the old boot clearly stated that she was going to be off traveling the globe for many long months,” he bawled.

“Well, instead of boohooing like a baby stuck in a soiled nappy, go to your desk and write a letter. Then send it to her estate in Scunthorpe,” Mildred snorted.

“Well, if I could do that, then I would, but I don't have her address.”

“Why ever not?” a very shocked Mildred dared to ask.

“Because I never thought to ask her for it, you stupid, ridiculous, dumb woman,” he indignantly roared. “And before you ask anything else, she never offered to give it to me. I did all my liaisons through Nick Ninkumpoop. I don't even know the name of the place she took Polly to on this so-called eventful holiday.” He wept out of pure frustration.

Before too long, the accusations were flying back and forth as the blame game headed into the second round.

“Well, I don't know who you're calling a dumb idiot when it's perfectly clear that you're the one who's been officially dealing with her,” a now very irate Mildred cried. “Perhaps you should have shown a little more interest in where she was taking Polly, for not only are you the one with the gift of the gab, but to top it all, you're a jolly lawyer!” she ridiculed. “So perhaps if you'd shown more interest and care, the lady would have happily given an address.”

“Oh, like you really cared?”

“Well, no, but all the same, as her official guardians we should have paid a little more attention to all that was going on,” she sourly reprimanded.

“Oh, do be quiet, woman, and give me the space to think. No, it's no use,” he muttered. “I know she lives somewhere near Scunthorpe, but I would imagine that just like other rich and famous people, her telephone number will not be listed in the book, and her official residence will be just as much a secret.”

“Boritz, do yourself a big favor. Pull yourself together and stop moaning and blubbering like a teething baby!” she harshly scolded.

Still, he could not stop bawling as he picked up the soggy shreds of what earlier had been an extremely generous donation.

“Look, at the end of the day there must be a way out. Could we not trace the woman through our dear friend Dr. Ninkumpoop? After all, she gave him considerable financial assistance.”