The Truth She Knew (22 page)

“
It’s okay, I was just worried about you.”

“
You were?” I asked and hugged my bag closer to me.

Mama reached out with the hand that didn’t have any IVs or needles in it and patted my arm.

“
Yes, honey. It was scary for everyone.”

Genuine concern filled Mama’s face, which I hadn’t seen in a long time.

“
How are you feeling?” I asked as I reached for her hand and squeezed it.

“
Okay. Exhausted, though. They say you’re supposed to rest in a hospital, but they make it impossible by waking you up several times a night. They took my blood every few hours. It was a little ridiculous,” Mama said as she attempted a smile.

“
When are you coming home?”

“
They say if I’m still stable tonight I’ll get a regular room tomorrow. They think I could go home sometime next week, but it just depends on my progress.”

“
Okay, that’s good. I’ll get the house cleaned up so you can come back and rest. Patsy will be tired too, so I’ll take care of that.”

“
That would be wonderful.”

“
I’m sorry, Mama.”

“
I’m going to be fine, sweetie—don’t worry, okay? All you need to remember is that I’m coming home soon and I love you very much.”

“
I love you too.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Do you or Patsy need anything?”

“
Patsy’s at the house now getting some things together for us, but thank you.”

“
Okay, I’ll get the house cleaned before you come home then. I’m staying with Joss and some nights with Emma. I don’t want to be alone at the house. I hope that’s okay.”

“
Of course—I don’t want you to be alone either. I’ve got great doctors and nurses taking care of me, so don’t worry. I’m doing better every day and the blood pressure medicine is already helping.”

“
That makes me feel a little better, but I’m still scared. I don’t want to lose you, Mama. I want things to be better between us.”

“
Me too, honey. We can talk about all that later, though, alright?”

I nodded.

The door creaked as Patsy entered.

“
Hey, Patsy,” I said.

“
Hi there, how are you?” she asked.

She still looked tired, but she smiled as she talked to me. I took that as a good sign.

“
Okay, you?”

“
Better now that your mom has started to improve,” she said and smiled at Mama.

It wasn’t just any smile, though. For the first time, I saw something between them. Patsy leaned over and kissed Mama on the forehead and sat in the chair on the opposite side of the bed. She took Mama’s hand and gently rubbed her arm. I’m not sure why I hadn’t recognized it before; why I’d believed Mama when she said they were only roommates. Even though everyone already knew it, I didn’t realize it until that moment. As screwed up as their relationship was, they loved each other.

I leaned back in my chair as I pretended to watch TV with them. I glanced at them again as the last several years began to fall into place. The fights, the kisses, Mama controlling Patsy . . . it all made sense now.

I laughed out loud at my naivety.

“
What are you laughing at, silly?” Mama asked.

“
Oh, I thought they said something funny on TV, Mama. I guess I didn’t hear them right,” I said and grinned. “I need to go, but I’ll come back tomorrow, okay?”

“
Okay, thanks for coming by and also for cleaning up the house. I love you, Lacey.”

“
I love you too, Mama.”

It sucked that the weeks passed by so fast. My days were filled with classes and Walker filled me every night. Our lovemaking had become more comfortable since the evening at the pond. I wasn’t shy or embarrassed with him as we explored each other’s bodies and what we liked. The more I was with him, the more I loved him. He gave me a freedom I’d never experienced before.

I fell asleep in his arms every night exhausted and happy.

Mama had taken longer to improve than the doctors had thought, but she was scheduled to come home tomorrow, which meant that I needed to clean the house. I was on my own since Joss and Emma were busy planning Walker’s surprise party. He remained clueless unless I’d talked in my sleep, but I didn’t think I had. Surely it would’ve come up in conversation if I were a talker.

Susan and Garrett had written down the names and numbers of Walker’s friends for me. Garrett invited the guys that Walker had gone to school with, which helped cut back on the work I had to do. Although I’d met some of Walker’s friends, I hadn’t realized he was so popular. As the party list grew, I appreciated Joss and Emma even more for all their hard work. I would treat them to a manicure and dinner after Walker left.

Walker offered to help me clean the house, but we both knew that was a bad idea. I promised him I would see him tomorrow. It would be the first night away from him in a while, and although I was happy that Mama was coming home, my heart broke at the idea of not waking up next to him.

I packed my clothes and belongings as Walker sat on the edge of the bed. I wasn’t sure who was feeling emptier, him or me.

“
Leave a few things, Lace. Just . . . don’t take everything. You’ll be back before I leave and you’re staying some even when I’m gone. So—” his voice faltered. “Please, leave as much as you can.”

My heart sank as we both tried to cling to the time we had left, even if it meant leaving some of my clothes in the corner of his dresser drawer. But he was right, I would be back. A faint smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I unpacked my duffel bag and put my clothes back.

“
Walker, we’re going to be okay, right?” I asked as I sat on his lap.

He pulled me in for a gentle kiss.

“
Don’t you doubt it for a second. We’re going to be more than okay. The six weeks I’ll be away will be hell, but I’ll be home as fast as I can. I love you muches and muches and muches.”

We took our time and made love. It was slow and gentle, and filled with every emotion we couldn’t articulate: fear, desperation, love.

A few hours later, I said goodbye to everyone with promises that I’d return tomorrow; sooner if hell broke loose at home.

I pulled out of Walker’s driveway and headed back toward my house. I hated this—I hated leaving. My heart broke every minute I spent without him. I sighed as I realized this was nothing compared to what it would be like in another week.

It took me the rest of the afternoon to clean the house. At least it would sparkle when Mama and Patsy came home. I hoped Mama liked it and it helped her feel better.

The car pulled into the carport around 6
p.m.
and I rushed out the front door to hug Mama and help Patsy bring in her overnight bag. Mama’s face held some color, but she still seemed tired. Patsy helped her up the front steps and into the house. Mama got comfortable in her recliner as I started the washing machine. I’d cooked dinner earlier, so Patsy warmed it up in the microwave. I’d followed the meal plan from the doctor and baked chicken breast with fresh green beans. I made a quick salad on the side and served a low-sodium salad dressing.

“
This looks fantastic, Lacey! All of it—the house, the dinner. Thank you so much, honey. It means a lot to me,” Mama said.

Mama hadn’t said such nice things to me for a while, and I couldn’t help but be proud of the work I’d done. All I wanted was for her to be proud of me.

“
I’m just glad you’re okay and at home, Mama. I rented a comedy for us and bought some popcorn if you want to watch it tonight?” I asked.

“
What’d you rent?” Patsy asked.

“
Big
, with some guy named Tom Hanks. Have you watched it?”

“
No, I don’t think we have,” Patsy answered.

“
Good,” I said.

I cleared the table and cleaned the kitchen after dinner as everyone got settled in the living room for the movie. I wasn’t about to let my hard work get messed up already.

I popped popcorn and we started
Big
. I hadn’t spent an evening at home with everyone laughing in a long time. It had turned into an excellent night.

After the movie, I kissed Mama good night, said good night to Patsy, and made my way downstairs. I smiled as I thought about the movie and walked through the family room. I reached up and turned the light on to my bedroom and my face fell. Not only was this the first night away from Walker, but I’d once again forgotten that I still had no furniture. I would have to shake out my blankets, sleeping bag, and pillow before I even sat down on the floor.

I eyed my phone and decided after I settled in that I’d call Walker. It was after 9
p.m.
, but unlike Mama, Susan didn’t care what time I called.

I shook out all my bedding and tossed everything into the corner. I went to the family room and grabbed the vacuum cleaner. If I was going to sleep on the floor, then it was going to be clean. The carpet was dark brown and I couldn’t see the spiders and tiny scorpions half the time, but I could suck the little bastards up.

Twenty minutes later I had a clean floor and brushed teeth, and I slipped into my sleeping bag. I dialed Walker’s number and counted the rings.

“
Hello?”

“
Hey, Walker.”

“
Are you okay?”

I could almost imagine him sitting up and grabbing his wallet and shoes in case he needed to come get me.

“
Yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just miss you. I’m in bed and you’re not next to me. It sucks.”

“
Okay good, and yes, it does suck. I’ve missed you all day. How are you? How did things go tonight?”

“
Excellent, actually. I cleaned up and made dinner. Then we watched the movie
Big
with Tom Hanks. I bet your mom would like it.”

“
Yeah? Things actually went okay?”

“
They really did. It was so nice, too. It almost makes me think that maybe Mama being sick made her act crazy and that’s what it really was.”

“
Lace, I want you to be okay and safe, but one night doesn’t make everything okay. She hasn’t been sick for years and she’s treated you like shit since you were thirteen.”

“
Wow, thanks!” I snapped.

“
No, that’s not what I meant. If anyone deserves to be treated well, it’s you, baby. I’m just worried about you. I’m concerned that you’re going to let things slide because she got sick. What you need to remember is that she has the choice to get better. She can follow a health program and work with the doctors to get better. So just don’t . . . don’t.”

“
I know—you don’t have to say anything else. As much as I want things to get better, I realize they might not. Until then, I’ll do whatever I can on my part.”

Walker sighed.

I didn’t want to fight with him, regardless if I agreed with him or not. I would have to deal with Mama on my own after he left, so it was my choice and my decision to make.

“
I’m glad you had a good night, but I wish you were here instead.”

“
Me too. I will be tomorrow night, though.”

“
You should be here every night until I leave.”

“
I’ll give you as many as I can,” I promised.

We made plans for tomorrow and I hung up the phone. The house was quiet as I lay in my sleeping bag and drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to a peaceful morning. I made my way upstairs and found Mama and Patsy drinking coffee on the back deck. I grabbed the blanket off the rocking chair and joined them.

The trees behind the house had turned red and yellow. Although the morning air was crisp and almost cold, it was worth it to sit outside and drink coffee.

Everyone was calm. It was almost eerie. As much as I wanted things to get better, I couldn’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop.

Patsy left to run errands and grocery shop while Mama rested. I figured it was a perfect time to catch up on my homework before the party tonight. I’d completely forgotten to mention it to Mama, but I wasn’t going to wake her up over it. She needed to rest.

I finished my English paper and packed my books for Monday. I could relax the rest of the weekend with it out of the way. I also called work and updated them about Mama. They said another week off was fine. Not only could I be here if Mama needed me, but I could spend more time with Walker before he left next weekend.

My heart sank as I counted the days we had left together. He would leave next weekend. He would walk out of his house and not return for six weeks. His room would be empty, his clothes gone, and his car parked in the driveway. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it without him.

I glanced at the clock and reminded myself that he wasn’t gone yet, and tonight we had a party to go to.

I packed my bag for the night and headed for the shower. I took my time getting ready. I’d stopped at Victoria’s Secret and picked up something special for tonight and next weekend. I was bound and determined that Walker wouldn’t be thinking about anyone else while he was at boot camp.

After double checking that I had everything I needed, I ascended the stairs. Mama was in her recliner reading.

“
Hi, Mama,” I said and kissed her on the cheek.

“
You look nice,” she said and peered over her reading glasses.

“
Thank you,” I said and smiled. “I’m off to Joss’s house for the night. I was so excited you were coming home I forgot to tell you we’re having a going-away party tonight for Walker. He leaves next weekend for boot camp.”

“
A party? You think you’re going to a party, Lacey?” she asked, her voice clipped with anger.