The Ugly Duckling (35 page)

“I don’t want to talk.” God, she felt as if she were falling apart.

“Look at me.”

She stared straight ahead.

He took her chin and turned her to face him. “It’s all right. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“You couldn’t.”

“It’s true I might have trouble. I’ve taught you too well.” His finger traced the line of her cheek. “But I couldn’t teach you how to handle this. You just have to breathe deep and wait until the shock passes.”

“Why should I be shocked? Because I saw two people blown up? I might have considered setting the fuse myself. Richard started all this.”

“Very hard. Very tough.”

“Shut up.” She was starting to shake. “Start the car. I told you I didn’t want to talk.”

He tried to draw her into his arms.

She stiffened. “Let me go. Don’t touch me.”

“When you stop shaking.”

She backed to the edge of the seat.

“Okay, I’m a liar and you don’t trust me. Then use me. Take from me. That should make it all right.”

“Get your hands off me.”

His hands dropped away from her. “All right. Talk. Sometimes that helps.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Tell me about Calder.”

She shook her head.

“I wouldn’t have thought the bastard’s death would have upset you this much.”

“I
hated
him,” she said, stung. “Jill wouldn’t have died if he hadn’t been dealing with Gardeaux. I would have killed him if Kabler hadn’t stopped me. I wanted him dead.”

“Did you want her dead too?”

“Nadine? No. I don’t know. I don’t think she meant to hurt.… I don’t know.”

“But it was taken out of your hands.”

“Yes.”

“And that scares you because it makes you feel helpless. It will happen again. You can’t control everything all the time. Sometimes you can only react.”

“Start the car.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’re going to drive me to the airport.”

“Will you let me take you back to the ranch?”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I didn’t think so. What are you going to do?”

“My plans haven’t changed.”

“But I’m not involved in them any longer.”

“I can’t trust you.”

“But you need me. That hasn’t changed. You’re letting your emotions get in the way of your reasoning.” He glanced at her. “All right, I lied to you. Principally by omission, but that’s a cop-out. I lied. Do you believe Kabler that I’m trying to use you as bait?”

“I believe you’re capable of anything.”

“You’re not answering me.”

“No,” she said curtly.

“Have I done anything to endanger you?”

“No.”

“Then what have I done that’s so heinous?”

“You
robbed
me. You shut me out,” she said fiercely.
“This is my life. I had a right to know about Richard. I had a right to go to Tania when she was in danger.”

“Yes, I robbed you of those rights and I’d do it again.”

“And you expect me to just go on as if nothing had happened?”

“No, I expect you to realize that I’ll lie and cheat if it means keeping you safe. And I expect you to learn to adjust and defend yourself against it. But I also expect you to use me the way you planned to in the beginning. Why shouldn’t you? Think calmly and logically. Aren’t I right?”

She wanted to yell and hit out at him. She didn’t feel like being logical. She felt alone and betrayed, and she wanted him to suffer for it.

“It’s my ballpark. I know the way around the bases. Didn’t Calder’s death teach you anything?”

She shuddered as she remembered her last glimpse of that blazing inferno. The explosion had come out of nowhere. She had never dreamed—But Nicholas had known at once what had happened. All right, put aside the hurt and anger. She did need him. Everything else might have changed, but that had not.

“I won’t go back to the ranch.”

“That’s already a given.”

“And I won’t wait until the end of the year. I’m going to leave for Paris immediately.”

“If that’s what you want.”

She stared at him suspiciously. He was being too accommodating.

“I’ll make the reservations as soon as we get to the airport. Do you mind if Jamie comes with us? He can be very helpful.”

“I don’t mind,” she said slowly.

“Good. Then lean back and leave everything to me.”

“That’s the last thing I intend to do. I won’t make that mistake again.” She met his eyes. “There are a lot of mistakes I won’t make. Don’t think that anything is going to be the same, Nicholas.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.” He started the car. “Like you, I’ll learn to adjust.”

“W
here are we going to stay?” Nell asked as she got into the dark blue Volkswagen Jamie had rented at Charles de Gaulle airport.

“I keep a flat on the outskirts of the city. Nothing pretentious, but it has the advantage of privacy. We’ll stay there tonight.”

“As private as you can get in Paris.” Jamie climbed into the backseat. “You can’t count on Gardeaux not knowing about the flat.”

“I don’t count on anything.” Nicholas negotiated the car out of the parking lot. “That’s why I want you to scout around and find something in the country tomorrow. I don’t want to risk one of Gardeaux’s men seeing Nell. They know she’s alive, but they don’t know what she looks like. That could work to our advantage.”

She looked at him inquiringly.

“If I decide to send you into the cage with the tigers.” Nicholas added, “Maybe I’ll do what Kabler told you I’d do and stake you out.”

She shook her head. “No, you won’t.”

“Why should I bother, when you’re willing to do it yourself?” He shrugged. “But, despite Kabler’s concern, your value as bait has diminished. You should no longer be a prime target.”

“Why not?”

“You were targeted first as a punishment to Calder.
Maritz went after you a second time to try to squeeze information about Calder’s whereabouts.”

“But you saw that I didn’t know anything about it, didn’t you?” she said bitterly.

“They didn’t know that. It was logical that a wife would know where her husband was.”

“Then you think she’s safe?” Jamie asked.

“Maybe. She shouldn’t be on Gardeaux’s list anymore.” He shot her a look. “But you may still be on Maritz’s. He tends to get obsessive.”

He really is the bogeyman
.

“I know.” She shook off the chill the thought brought. “But that may work to our advantage too.”

“On the other hand, he may regard you as just another job and leave you alone.”

“I might as well start looking for a place today,” Jamie said. “When we get to the flat, I’ll drop you off and take the car and see what I can come up with.”

N
icholas unlocked the door of the flat and stepped aside for her to enter.

“Very nice.” She looked around the living room. Comfortable, elegant, spacious. She should have expected the latter. Nicholas always liked plenty of room. “Which is my room?”

Nicholas gestured to a door to the left. “There’s a bathrobe in the closet. We’ll buy whatever else you need tomorrow.”

“Okay.” She moved toward the door he’d indicated.

“Come to the kitchen when you’re finished freshening up. The landlord keeps the refrigerator stocked with the basics. I’ll make an omelette. You didn’t eat on the plane.”

“I’m not—” She stopped. She was hungry and there
was no use starving herself to avoid Nicholas. “Thank you.”

“Yes, you have to keep up your strength,” Nicholas murmured. “After all, the game’s afoot.”

She ignored the hint of irony and carried her bag into the bedroom. Lord knows, she didn’t have much strength at the moment. The effort to maintain control of herself was taking its toll.

She went into the bathroom and washed her face. She didn’t look as haunted as she felt. The face staring back at her in the mirror was pale and a little haggard but the same beautiful image Joel had given her those many months ago.

Joel. She felt a sharp pang of regret as she remembered how bitter he had been at the hospital. Not that she could blame him. He cared about Tania and she had almost gotten Tania killed. But if Nicholas was right and Nell was no longer a target, then Tania should also be safe now. She could only hope.

She dried her face and went to find the kitchen.

“Pour the coffee and sit down at the bar.” Nicholas was taking plates down from the cabinet. “Food will be ready in a minute.”

She poured coffee from the automatic maker on the counter and carried the two cups to the breakfast bar.

Nicholas set the omelettes down on the bar and sat down on the stool across from her. “
Bon appétit
.”

She picked up her fork. The omelette was filled with mushrooms and cheese and surprisingly tasty. “It’s good. Did you learn to cook in that kitchen in Hong Kong?”

“I picked up what I could. Omelettes are easy.” He began to eat. “What are you going to do?”

“Get Maritz.”

“You have to have a plan, dammit.”

“I know that. I’ll have one. I haven’t had time to think yet.”

“Will you listen to mine?”

“Not if it means waiting.”

His hand tightened on his fork. “It’s only a little over a month, dammit.”

She didn’t reply.

“Look, Gardeaux is a very cautious man, but he has a passion for swords. What do you think he’d do to get a chance at Charlemagne’s?”

“Charlemagne?” She vaguely remembered seeing the sword on display at a museum. “You’re going to steal it?”

He shook his head. “But I’m going to tell Gardeaux I did and that I replaced the real one with a fake.”

“He wouldn’t believe you.”

“Why not?” He smiled. “He knows. I’ve done it before.”

She stared at him. “Have you?”

“Well, not a sword.” He took a drink of coffee. “But the principle is the same. Since last April I’ve had a swordmaker in Toledo working on duplicating and aging the sword. I’ll send Gardeaux pictures and offer to have one of his experts look at the sword before he sees it. Without chemical tests he won’t be able to tell the difference. If I demand a meeting alone with him to show him the sword, I don’t think he’ll be able to resist.”

“Doesn’t he know you intend to kill him?”

“Yes.”

“Then he’d be a fool to meet you.”

“Not on his own territory, surrounded by a chateau full of guests and his own people.”

“And then you’d be killed.”

“Not if Gardeaux can help it. His associates would be very upset.”

He was talking about Sandequez, she realized. His insurance policy.

“It’s still dangerous.”

“But it can happen … if you’ll agree to wait.”

“What about Maritz?”

He hesitated. “There’s a possibility he might not be at Bellevigne. Gardeaux may think harboring him there is too risky after his attack on Tania.”

Her gaze flew to his face. “Then where would he send Maritz?”

“Jamie will contact a few people and see if he can find out.”

“You
knew
I thought Maritz would be here.”

“And he may be. I just don’t know.” He finished his coffee. “And you’re the one who told me we were off to Paris.”

“I don’t want Gardeaux without Maritz.”

“Then we’ll try to find him for you.”

“I won’t be stalled again, Nicholas. I want him now.”

“Credit me with a little intelligence. I wouldn’t try something as crude as stalling you.” He leaned back on his stool. “I take it you refuse to wait?”

“You haven’t given me a reason.”

“I gave you an important reason. It would be safer.”

“You just told me Gardeaux would do anything to keep you from being killed.”

“Except to keep from being killed himself. And Sandequez’s umbrella doesn’t extend to you.”

She pushed back her stool and rose to her feet. “I’ve waited too long already. Find me Maritz, or I’ll go out and find him myself.”

She left the kitchen and went straight to her room. She couldn’t argue with him any longer. His argument might have merit, but this had to be over. Everything was shifting, splintering around her. Black was white.
White was black. Nothing was the same. It had gone on too long.

She needed it over.

She took a long, hot shower and then placed a call to Tania at the hospital. She was told Tania had been released that morning. She called the house.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as soon as Tania picked up. “How’s your ankle?”

“Annoying. I can only hobble along with a cane. Where are you?”

“Paris.”

There was silence on the other end of the line before Tania asked, “Maritz?”

“If we can find him. Nicholas says that he may not be at Bellevigne, that his attack on you might make him persona non grata with Gardeaux. I may have to find a way to make him come to me.” She grimaced. “Which may not be easy. Nicholas says I could have been just a job to Maritz and my status as a target has recently gone down.”

“Thank God.” There was a pause before Tania asked curiously, “Why?”

Nell’s hand tightened on the telephone as a vision of the burning Victorian house came back to her. “I’ll tell you some other time. We’ll be moving tomorrow, but I’ll call you when we’re settled and see how you are.”

“Not tomorrow.” Tania’s voice was suddenly throaty. “Tomorrow we go to Phil’s funeral. He’s being buried in his parents’ hometown in Indiana and we won’t be back until late tomorrow evening.”

“Are you well enough? Phil would understand.”

“He saved me. He gave his life. Of course I’m well enough.”

It had been a foolish question, Nell thought. Tania
would have crawled there on her hands and knees if necessary. “Take care. Give my best to Joel.”

“Nell,” Tania said hesitantly. “Don’t blame him for being angry. He’ll get over it. He strikes out at everyone because he blames himself.”

“I’m not blaming him. He’s right. I should have been the one hurt, not you.” She added, “We left so quickly, I didn’t get a chance to send flowers to Phil. Will you do that for me?”

“As soon as I hang up.”

“Which will be now. I’ll let you get your rest. Good-bye, Tania.”

T
ania replaced the receiver and turned to Joel. “She’s in Paris.”