The Ups and Downs of Being Dead (18 page)

“But if there is something else out there,” she said. “I’d
have to think there are children in that world. Children who died young, with
no parents now. No brothers or sisters.”

All the strife in Stan’s face smoothed away, like some
stabbing pain had suddenly eased. His jaw slacked.

“They could be lonely. Or scared,” he said.

“Or they just might need someone to ask a question. Or tell
a silly joke.”

Then Stan did the same thing she did: he stared at the
church and all the cars in the parking lot and out at the cemetery.

He gave Maggie a wane smile and thanked her before turning
to walk away. He disappeared before he even got to the rickety fence
surrounding the headstones.

“Holy smokes!” Robert said. “Did you know that would happen?”

She seemed just as startled. “I thought we’d see some bright
light or something.”

“Angels plucking harps.”

She chuckled. “Or at least he’d have to click his heels
three times.”

Robert nodded, still staring at the place where Stan had
vanished. “So, he made a decision to crossover, and bingo, he’s gone.”

“Looks that way.”

“Do you really think there are children out there, all
alone?”

“I don’t know why not,” Maggie said. “They die. What makes
them different from us?”

He hoped she was right, for Stan’s sake. Maggie had just
sent the man off to the abyss.

“So now what?” Robert asked.

“I’ve got to get back to the center. Asa’s been on his own
for two days now.”

Robert groaned. “I guess that means three more hours in a
truck cab listening to country music.”

“Actually, I thought I’d just blink myself back.”

A caustic laugh erupted as Robert considered his dilemma.
“And hang out with Asa. How many days until the meeting in New York?”

“Eight.”

“Oh, no.” Robert gave his head a hard shake. “I can’t handle
eight more days of Asa. Maybe I’ll go on ahead to New York and meet you there.”

“What an excellent idea!” Maggie even fake clapped her
hands. “Why don’t you stop back at the hospital first and see if Suzanne’s
gotten tired of her family yet.”

“I’d rather not. She’s probably still chastising herself for
being wrong about her daughter’s boyfriend.”

“So? Maybe you can cheer her up.”

“That’s not likely,” he said. “I’m not good at conversations
like that.”

“You don’t have any problems talking to me.”

Robert chortled and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, what?” Maggie said. “It’s easy to talk to an old bag?”

“You said it, not me.”

She rose up on her toes to get closer to his face. “I got
news for you. You’ve got seventy-five years of waiting around to come back. And
you’re not going to be sweeping any ladies off their feet with your money or
your good looks. You better get good at conversation.”

Angie was no longer in the ICU, but it didn’t take Robert
long to find the room where she’d been moved. There were flowers in every
available space on the window ledge and bedside table. Mark sat perched on the
edge of her bed, discussing a newspaper article about a bank merger with
Angie’s grandfather. It looked like Angie had dozed off, and the grandmother,
reclined back in one of the two chairs in the room, wasn’t far behind.

At first, Robert thought Suzanne was gone, but then he
spotted her slumped in the corner near the bathroom door. He took a couple
steps closer.

“Hey,” he said softly, like he might wake Angie. “How you doing?”

Suzanne looked up, that sorrowful expression distorting her
face again.

“I’m stuck.”

His right eyebrow cocked up. He reached out a hand, knowing
he couldn’t help her to her feet, but thought it might get her moving in the
right direction.

“No. I mean I’m stuck here.” She rose to her feet. “I got so
sick of my parents fawning all over Mark, and Mark fawning over Angie, that I
decided to just give it up. You know, do that crossover thing. But it didn’t
work.”

“Really. I just saw a guy do it yesterday. I’m not sure what
he did, but once he decided to leave, it happened pretty fast. He just pffft,
disappeared.”

“Well, I’ve been trying, but so far, no pffft.”

“Let me see.”

Now she cocked her eyebrow. But then she squared her
shoulders, planted her feet apart, and even closed her eyes. Nothing. She sort
of peeked one eye back open.

“See?”

“Are you sure you’re trying?”

Her eyes bugged out, her nostrils flared. “Yes, I’m sure. I
even went to my funeral yesterday. I thought maybe it would happen there.”

“Like some angels might be waiting for you?”

She giggled, and the musical way her voice sort of rose up
and back down made Robert smile.

“No. But I thought maybe my husband Phil would be waiting
for me.” She twisted her mouth in a melancholy frown.

“When they were freezing my body, I thought I was going to
stay right in there and sleep until they brought me back. I even tried to get
in, but I couldn’t.”

“So, what do you think is wrong?” she asked.

“Beats me. Maybe there’s still something you have to do for
Angie.”

Suzanne shook her head.

“There’s no way she’s walking away from Mark. And I can’t
stand to be around him for another minute.”

As if to prove her point, Mark grasped Angie’s limp hand
between both of his and rubbed until her eyes fluttered open. Then he smiled
and leaned to kiss her forehead.

“See?” Suzanne said. “She was sound asleep. But he can’t
stand blathering without an audience, so he woke her up!”

She stomped out of the room.

Following her, Robert asked, “Why didn’t you go somewhere
else?”

“Maggie said she’d be back, and I didn’t want to leave
without saying goodbye.”

“Ah, well she’s at the Cryonics Center. You can go over
there and hang out with her. At least for the next eight days.”

He explained about the temps meeting in New York. And
because he didn’t want to discourage her, he left out the part about Asa being
at the center, too.

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

“I’m heading up to New York.”

“Now?”

Her eyes lit up like a game show contestant who’d just
picked the right door. Frantically, Robert searched for the most boring reason
he could think of for going to the city.

“Yeah, well, I used to do some business in New York. I
thought I’d drop in on some clients.”

She wasn’t buying it.

“I’ve never been to New York,” she said, her eyes all dreamy
and hopeful.

Dang that Maggie! He never should have listened to her about
checking up on Suzanne. How was he going to get out of inviting her to come
along? And her motor was already running with the prospect.

“Have you been to the Statue of Liberty?” she asked.

“No.”

“The Empire State Building?”

He shook his head.

“The World Trade Memorial?”

Dear God, how could he admit he hadn’t taken the time to
check that out?

“Look, I was usually there on business,” he said. “I’ve been
to Central Park and Times Square. And that’s because we did some advertising
shoots there.”

“So really,” she said, “you’ve never been to New York
either. Just office buildings.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Come on, Robert. Let’s go explore New York.”

He was tempted to suggest she wait until she was invited,
but realized how stuffy that sounded. After all, she was free to go wherever
she wanted. He’d figure out some way to ditch her once they got there.

* * *

“I haven’t traveled much,” Suzanne confided as she settled
in next to Robert in first class. “Motion sickness. My whole life. When I flew
here to visit Angie, I had to take two Dramamine tablets just to get through
the take-off.”

“Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about now,” Robert said.
“You’re stomach won’t do flip-flops anymore.”

The flight attendant began her demonstration on the proper
use of oxygen masks.

Suzanne giggled. “You know, I’m one of those who followed
along. I even pulled out the card so I could look at the illustrations.”

Robert was already regretting his decision to let Suzanne
tag along. This whole trip to New York was going to be one country-bumpkin
episode after another. At least no one else would see Suzanne craning her neck
to check out the skyscrapers, or fawning over the horse-drawn carriages at
Central Park.

As the plane backed out of the gate, he wandered into the
aisle to see who might be reading something interesting. Suzanne followed him.

He huffed a sigh as he looked over his shoulder at her.
“This is probably a three-hour flight. You might want to find someone with
headphones so you can listen to music, or watch whatever’s on the viewing
screen.”

Taking his suggestion, she scanned all the passengers in
first class, but most of them were businessmen scrambling to finish up
something on their laptop before they were told to stow them away for take-off.

She even glanced forward to the flight attendants, bustling
about in the tiny galley. Was she thinking of helping serve refreshments?

Her eyes were wide when she looked up at him. “Have you ever
been in the cockpit?”

“No,” he said. “The door is always locked.”

“Well, yeah,” she said. “But so what?”

He stared down the long aisle to the back of the plane, at
all the potential passengers reading magazines and newspapers. Then he snuck a
look over his shoulder at Suzanne.

“Come on!” she said, “Let’s go watch the take-off.”

Unlike Maggie, she actually waited for him to approve the
idea before she trotted to the small cabin door and passed through.

Inside the small cockpit, Robert was dumbstruck by all the
instruments: dials, switches, buttons, blinking lights, levers.

“What could all this possibly be for?” he asked.

“Who knows,” Suzanne said as she scanned gauges. “I think
this one shows how much waste is building up in the number four bathroom.”

She scooted up right next to the pilot as the plane taxied
slowly along the tarmac. And when the plane turned for take-off, she laid her
hand right on top of his on the throttle.

“Hey,” Robert said. “Don’t be goofing around.”

He got an exaggerated eye roll. Then Suzanne hunched down so
her head was level with the pilot. As the plane roared down the runway, she
squealed. And when the wheels came off the ground, she actually hooted like
some fanatic football fan.

The plane steadily climbed, and Robert had to admit that the
view from the front was much more exhilarating than wrenching his neck to the
side to peer out a tiny window.

Once the plane leveled out, Suzanne stood and threw her head
back, shaking her hair a bit.

“That was fantastic!” she said in a breathy pant.

Good Lord, she made it sound like a sexual experience.

When she glanced over at Robert, her eyes sparkled. Maybe
she
had
gotten a thrill.

She crawled onto the instrument panel with her face right up
against the glass, so she had a panoramic view. The grin on her face was such a
contrast to the grief he had seen her going through for the past few days that
he found himself smiling. And he pushed his face against the glass, too.

“Maybe we’ll see a riverboat,” she said as the plane crossed
over the Missouri River. “Or a big barge with cargo.”

She scooted even closer to the glass. Without realizing it,
she pushed her face through.

Robert freaked. “Are you kidding me?”

She jerked her head back and looked at him, her mouth
gaping, her eyes bulging.

“That was incredible!”

“Well, don’t do it again,” he said.

“No, no,” she insisted. “It’s fine. You can’t even feel the
wind blowing. You’re just floating in space.”

This time, she pushed her whole head out.

He watched as she rotated her head all around, looking in
every direction. And she was right. Not a hair on her head moved.

Tentatively, she eased her shoulders out, then pulled an arm
through. She turned and waved at him, then beckoned him to join her.

Dear God, how did he get himself into these predicaments?
Pressing his nose close, he moved through the windshield to his cheeks. Then,
holding very still, he swiveled his eyes side to side.

Suzanne was right. He didn’t feel the wind at all.
Stretching his neck, he pushed his head all the way out.

He recalled the scene in the movie Titanic, when Kate
Winslet stood on the bow of the ship, and how corny he thought it was. But
damn, if he didn’t feel like he was gliding through space. The only thing
missing was the rush of wind on his cheeks. Of course, at the speed they were
traveling, his cheeks would probably get ripped right off his face.

The noise from the engines was too loud to carry on a
conversation with Suzanne, but he gave her a thumbs-up. Naturally, she couldn’t
leave well enough alone. She acted like she was wriggling her torso out of the
glass, then when she got to her waist, she pretended to press hard against the
windshield, like she was stuck. Gritting her teeth, she heaved her legs up and
out of the window. Once she was completely outside the plane, she perched on
the nose.

“Oh, no,” Robert mumbled as he waved his hands. “I’m not
going any farther.”

Thank God she didn’t insist. He wasn’t willing to gamble
with incontinence.

As they flew above the cloud line, heading east, the day
faded. Robert couldn’t recall the last time he’d remained totally still like
that, with nothing to do but watch the color blue gradually transform from
azure to indigo.

At one point, he tensed, as though all the muscles in his
body had locked up in panic. A feeling of urgency washed over him; someplace he
needed to be or something he had to do. It was as though time had wrapped its
fingers around his neck. Get busy! Do something!