The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1 (13 page)

FORM 118M: INTENTION TO SET SAIL
INSTRUCTIONS: Please write legibly in ink. Forms completed in blood will be rejected upon receipt. All questions are mandatory.

NAME OF CAPTAIN:
Jasper Fletcher
NAME OF VESSEL:
The Pigeon
TYPE OF VESSEL:
Pirate ship (small)
HOME PORT:
Wimbly-on-the-Marsh, The Southlands
DESTINATION:
Gunpowder Island, The Northlands

GENERAL PURPOSE OF VOYAGE (please check one):
☐ BUSINESS ☐ PLEASURE ☒ PIRACY

If PIRACY is checked, the Kingdom of Augusta reserves the right to send the Royal Navy to attack your vessel if necessary. Do you accept these terms?
Do I have a choice?

NUMBER OF CREW MEMBERS:
4 human, 2 other

NAMES OF CREW MEMBERS (please list):

Charlie Dove

Oliver Sanderson

Hilary Smith

Eloise Greyson

Fitzwilliam Fletcher

The Gargoyle

PRIMARY OBJECTIVE OF VOYAGE:
If you must know, we're looking for treasure. Does that satisfy your endless curiosity, you impertinent form?

NUMBER OF FLOTATION DEVICES ON BOARD:
I think we have a few somewhere
.

NUMBER OF WEAPONS ON BOARD:
Definitely more than the flotation devices
.

If you PERISH AT SEA, would you like a MEMORIAL PLAQUE installed in your honor at the Royal Palace? ☒ YES ☐NO

Thank you for complying with the rules and regulations of the Kingdom of Augusta, and enjoy your voyage!

 

Miss Pimm's Finishing School for Delicate Ladies

Where Virtue Blossoms

Dear Hilary,

I hope this letter finds its way to you. I have addressed it to “Pirate Hilary, The High Seas,” just as you told me to. Do you think there is more than one Pirate Hilary? Oh, I hope you are the proper Hilary. If you are not the Hilary you are supposed to be, and you are reading this letter, please stop right away. It's not polite to read someone else's mail. If you had gone to finishing school, you would know this, although since you are a pirate, I'm not sure what sort of education you've had. If you are the proper Hilary, you are allowed to keep reading, and I'm very sorry for the delay.

Oh, Hilary, Miss Pimm's is dreadful without you. I think my acting fooled everyone at least through Sunday evening, and the dance mistress said she hoped your sick relative would feel better soon so you could come back and demonstrate the waltz step for those of us who have two left feet (she meant me). But on Monday, Philomena asked where you were, and she said she didn't think you had a sick relative at all! I'm afraid I dissolved in a sea of tears, or at least a largish puddle, and of course that rat Philomena went straight to Miss Pimm to raise the alarm.

Now they are all out looking for you, and I think they are going to print your picture in the paper, the way they do for Wanted Criminals. It must be ever so glamorous to be a Wanted Criminal! Not that you are a criminal, of course, and I haven't told anyone that you are a pirate, but I wanted to let you know that people will be looking for you in case you want to wear a disguise. I have enclosed a false beard that I crocheted in class today. I know your hair is not bright purple, but I couldn't find any dark brown yarn, and I do have an uncle whose beard is a different color from his hair, so it must not be entirely impossible. The beard hooks around your ears, by the way, and I hope it fits. Please pardon the dropped stitches, as I was working very quickly to finish the sideburns before the postal courier came.

I hope you are having fun on the High Seas. Is it very similar to the way they describe it in books? Have you met any dashing sailors yet? Have you gotten in any sword fights? I should think sword fighting would be very similar to waltzing, only less romantic and with a more gruesome conclusion. I am sure you are brilliant at it. Please write if you get a chance in between all the cannon swabbing and scoundrel fighting. Your news is sure to brighten up the gloom of Miss Pimm's.

Your friend,

Claire

an extract
From

T
reasure
H
unting for
B
eginners:

THE OFFICIAL VNHLP GUIDE

ON
TREASURE MAPS,
AND HOW TO
READ
THEM:

If you are reading this official guide, you are undoubtedly eager to set off on your first treasure hunt. Do not sail away in haste, however: it is the height of recklessness to search for treasure without first obtaining a map to guide you to its location.

A good treasure map is handcrafted by a worthy pirate and stamped with the skull-and-crossbones seal of the VNHLP. You can recognize a reputable treasure map by looking for a few telltale signs:

No matter how old it may be, a treasure map should look ancient and on the verge of crumbling to bits. It may be torn or water stained, and it should be a pleasing shade of brown. Scorch marks around the edges of the map are preferred.

A treasure map should have an atmospheric title, such as “Map to the Buried Fortune of a Fearsome Pirate.” Drawings of monstrous beasts, whirlpools, and other dangers of the sea may also lend the map an atmosphere of vague foreboding.

To guide future pirates, a treasure map must include a dotted line indicating the best route to the treasure. Obstacles along the route (such as crocodile dens, hanging skeletons, et cetera) should also be noted on the map. The route must end in a large X to mark the spot where the treasure is buried.

Along the edges of the map, pirates who wish to give treasure hunters more of a challenge may include tantalizing but mysterious clues to the treasure's location.

If you are in possession of such a map, congratulations! You are well on your way to finding treasure. Simply follow the clues and the dotted line provided on the map, taking great care to avoid traps and obstacles. When you reach the location marked by an X, you need only dig beneath your feet to reveal a wealth of riches—assuming, of course, that no other pirate has beaten you to the spot. Even if you uncover an empty treasure chest, you may pride yourself on your excellent map-reading skills.

If you do not possess a VNHLP-approved treasure map, abandon the quest for treasure at once! Without proper maps, pirates would wander aimlessly through the kingdom digging holes in the ground at random, causing disruption and potential injury to citizens who do not watch their step. If you still wish to search for treasure, you may purchase copies of certified treasure maps, which are kept on file at the VNHLP's Gunpowder Island headquarters.

“A
RE YOU SURE
,” said the gargoyle, “that this whole thing is the sea?”

“Of course!” Hilary tightened another knot around the gargoyle's middle.

“Even the bumpy bits?”

“Those are waves,” said Hilary. “Don't worry; they're completely normal.”

“They're moving awfully fast.” The gargoyle leaned forward as far as the knots would allow. “And they're very far down.”

Hilary scratched the gargoyle behind his ears—not quite as expertly as Claire, he had informed her earlier, but good enough in a pinch. “You know,” she said, “you don't have to be the figurehead if you don't want to.”

“And let some no-good mermaid get the job? I think not!” He nudged his ears against Hilary's fingers. “A little to the left, please.”

With Charlie's help, Hilary had fashioned a sort of basket for the gargoyle on the bow of the
Pigeon
, and she was pleased to see that it neither bounced nor swayed as the boat sailed out of Little Herring Cove. “I like it,” said the gargoyle, letting his tail hang through the small hole in the bottom of the basket that Charlie had cut for just this purpose. “I'll call it the Gargoyle's Nest.”

“A very seaworthy name,” said Hilary. “Now, let's review. What do you say if you see land on the horizon?”

“Land ho!” cried the gargoyle.

“And what if you see other pirates approaching?”

“Shiver me timbers, there be buccaneers ahead!”

“Very good. And what if you spot a sea monster?”

The gargoyle considered for a moment. “Help?” he said at last.

“Good enough.” A warm breeze brushed past them, carrying with it the scent of salt and the sound of someone calling Hilary's name. “Oh, bother. That'll be Miss Greyson.”

“You'd better go see what she wants,” Jasper called from behind the ship's wheel. He looked every inch the dashing pirate, with his second-best coat billowing in the wind and Fitzwilliam perched on his shoulder. His hat sat confidently atop his head, and the sword at his side glinted in the sun. “I'll look after the gargoyle for you.”

“I do
not
need looking after,” the gargoyle called across the ship. “Say, Jasper, can I borrow your hat?”

Hilary scrambled up the deck, saluting Jasper as she passed him. “Good luck, Captain,” she said. “You may need it.”

T
HE ROOM
H
ILARY
shared with Miss Greyson was small—hardly more than a cubbyhole, really, with a single round window that reminded Hilary of the ones in her father's study. Through the window, Hilary watched the cheery houses that dotted the coastline bob past like smears of paint or bits of stained glass. Jasper's bungalow was quickly becoming a faint yellow blob amid a blur of forest-colored blobs. “I don't know, Miss Greyson,” she said. “I don't think pirates unpack.”

“Oh, I'm afraid there's no doubt.” Miss Greyson pulled a blue cotton dress from her carpetbag, followed quickly by an iron, a folding ironing board, and three sweet-smelling oranges. She really did pack for every possible situation. At least the oranges might come in handy for preventing scurvy, or firing out of cannons, but if Miss Greyson expected Hilary to spend her days on a pirate ship
ironing
—well, it was too terrible to consider. “If you poke your head in next door, I believe you'll find that Charlie and Oliver are unpacking as we speak.”

Hilary poked her head in next door. To her great dismay, Miss Greyson was right.

“Now,” said Miss Greyson when Hilary had returned, “you really must explain to me what's going on with Oliver.” She tucked a pair of fuzzy slippers under her bunk. “The two of you didn't”—she paused and cleared her throat—“well, you didn't
run away together
, did you?”

“Miss Greyson!”

“Oh, don't stamp your foot like that, Hilary; you'll bust a hole straight through to the bilge.”

“I assure you,” said Hilary, “that I have no desire to run anywhere with Oliver, but we seem to be stuck with each other for the time being. He says he's getting revenge on Father.” Hilary shrugged and balanced
Treasure Island
on the ledge under the porthole. “By the way, Miss Greyson, please don't mention Father to anyone. I don't think Jasper cares much for the navy, and it would be a shame if he decided to toss us overboard.”