The Virgin Bride (The Australians) (12 page)

How could she not see the truth? How could she be taken in by that creep?

Easily, Jason finally accepted. As easily as he had been taken in by Adele all those years. Both of them had outer physical attractions which could mask the ugly person inside. Both were clever and cunning. Both dared to do what decent people would not even dream of doing. They conned and corrupted. They seduced and schemed.

Jason's thoughts finally turned to Emma, and he knew he shouldn't sit by and let Ratchitt taint such a beautiful person. But what could he do, short of killing the bloke?

Nothing, really. In days gone by he could have kidnapped her and carried her off to some faraway land, but not nowadays. Nowadays, that would land him in jail. But wouldn't jail be preferable to this agony of
doing nothing to save her from a fate worse than death?

He was still sitting there, mentally tossing up between murder and kidnapping, when he heard the sound of the front door opening.

J
ASON'S
hands balled into fists on the armrests of the chair. He dared not get his hopes up. What if he was wrong? What if she'd just come home to get some clothes? What if it wasn't Emma at all?

He sat there like a block of stone, petrified.

‘Jason?' Emma called softly. ‘Where are you?'

He didn't answer. Couldn't.

He listened to her walk up the stairs and call out to him there listened as she walked slowly back down. ‘Jason, where
are
you?' she cried again at the bottom of the stairs, sounding almost despairing.

‘I'm in here,' he said at last, but his voice sounded odd. Empty and hollow.

She switched on the light, then just stood there in the doorway, looking over at him. He didn't know what he looked like, but it must have been pretty terrible by the expression on her face.

‘Oh, Jason,' she groaned, and ran over to squat down by the chair.

‘I'm sorry,' she cried, her green eyes filling while his remained strangely dry and distant. ‘So very sorry…'

Jason's chest was aching. She was sorry. Sorry about what? Sorry she was leaving him?

That had to be it. She'd taken too long to come home for the outcome to be otherwise. It was agony
thinking of what she and Ratchitt had been doing during that time.

‘Just get whatever it is you've come for,' he said flatly. ‘And go.' He no longer had any stomach for his earlier violent solutions. If she was fool enough to want Ratchitt, then let her be destroyed. Why not? He was.

‘But I've come home, Jason,' she said. ‘I chose you.' And, reaching out, she touched him on the arm, right where the dog had bitten him.

He wrenched his arm away, his moan a mixture of emotional and physical pain.

‘What is it?' she said, her eyes instantly stricken. ‘What's wrong with your arm? Show me!' Already she was undoing his cuff and gently peeling back the sleeve. Her gasp was horrified. Jason looked down at it closely for the first time himself.

It
did
look pretty nasty, despite Doc's expert handiwork. Much worse than Ratchitt's face. He would carry scars for the rest of his life.

‘Oh, Jason…'

‘It'll be all right,' he said sharply.

Their eyes met, but he still could not quite believe what she'd said. ‘You meant it?' he rasped. ‘About coming home? About choosing me?'

She nodded, and two big tears trickled down her face.

‘What about Ratchitt?'

‘I sent him away.'

‘You sent him away,' he repeated dazedly.

‘I don't love him any more, Jason. I don't even want him any more.'

‘You don't?'

‘No. I'm sure of that, Jason. Quite sure.'

He couldn't say anything to that, his heart too awash with emotion.

‘You…didn't just say that about loving me, did you?' she asked. ‘You did mean it, didn't you?'

‘Yes.' That was all he could manage. Just yes. His relief was too intense, his exhaustion total.

She nodded. ‘I didn't think you would lie about something like that. Not you.' And, taking the hand of his good arm, she began tugging him to his feet.

‘What are you doing?' he choked out.

‘I'm taking my husband upstairs to bed. He looks tired.'

‘Tired' did not begin to describe the state he was in.

He let her lead him upstairs, let her sit him down on the side of the bed while she knelt down at his feet and began taking off his shoes and socks.

He wanted to ask her what had happened with Ratchitt after he left. He wanted to ask her about the trust fund. But he didn't have the energy. Or the will. Instead, he watched her tend to him with a sweet gentleness which threatened to embarrass him for ever in front of her. Only with the greatest force of will did he keep his own tears at bay.

At last he was naked, and being tipped back under cool sheets. ‘Can I get you anything?' she asked. ‘A glass of water? Some painkillers?'

‘Painkillers would be good. There are some extra strong ones lying on my desk in the surgery. Just bring me the packet.'

He closed his eyes after she left the room and began counting to ten. If he got to ten without crying, he thought, everything would be all right.

He didn't cry. But he didn't get to ten, either. Something very strange happened to him around eight. He fell asleep.

Jason woke to the feel of Emma's arm sliding around his waist, plus the tips of her breasts pressing into his back. For a moment, everything inside him leapt, till her deep even breathing told him she was actually asleep. Understandable, he accepted, after a quick glance at the bedside clock.

It was five past two.

For a long while, he lay there in the dark, mulling over everything that had happened the night before, still stunned by the outcome. Emma had chosen
him
, not Ratchitt. She didn't love Ratchitt any more.

It was almost too good to be true. What had changed her mind about Ratchitt? What had happened after he'd left them alone together?

Her apology when she'd first come home took on a sinister meaning. What had she been saying sorry for? Had she let Ratchitt make love to her, only to find out her fantasies about him had been just that—fantasies?

Something must have happened during the time which had elapsed. He couldn't see Ratchitt wasting time just talking to Emma. That was not his style.

But being unfaithful wasn't Emma's style, either. He knew that, down deep in his heart. No, something else had happened to make her see the light.

And the light was what?
He
was a better bet for
the future than Ratchitt? Jason dared not hope she'd suddenly discovered she loved him. That was the hope of fools. More likely she'd chosen the lesser of two evils.

He still felt terrible about the way he'd acted since they'd arrived home in Tindley. He could not blame her for leaving him. He'd treated her without consideration and without respect. Without love.

Emma stirred against his back, snuggling in closer, murmuring his name in her sleep. When she lifted her leg to hook it over his, Jason was taken aback to discover she was totally naked. She hadn't come to bed like that since their honeymoon, he recalled.

Back then, he'd rolled over many times during the night to make love to her. And it had been so wonderful. At least in bed he could make her happy.

He went to roll over right then and there…till the pain in his arm momentarily stopped him.

But only momentarily. It seemed an aching arm was no deterrent to the waves of desire which began flooding through him. Jason suspected his arm could be falling off and nothing would stop him wanting to make love to her.

Slowly, carefully, he rolled over. Instinctively, she rolled too. Yet she was still asleep. Jason curved himself around her, keeping his damaged arm out of harm's way. He slid his other arm under her, tipping her slightly backwards against his chest, bringing her breasts within easy reach.

She woke slowly, voluptuously, arching her back into his hands, showing him with her body language that she liked what he was doing. More than liked it.
Her arms lifted above her head to find and wind around his neck, leaving both her breasts, and the entire front of her body, unhindered for his pleasure. Her right knee lifted up onto his right thigh, opening and offering herself for whatever he might want.

Her attitude of total sexual surrender sent his desire for her off the Richter scale. Not to mention his love. Even if she didn't love him back, she'd chosen him. And she wanted him, wanted him more than a man she'd claimed she would always love and
never
forget. Surely that must mean it was only a matter of time before she was his, totally. His heart swelled with passionate determination. He would make love to her with every ounce of skill he had, showing her that, despite his own runaway passion,
her
pleasure would be his first priority from now on. He wanted to wipe away the memory of the past couple of weeks when he'd been so abominable to her.

Carefully, he eased himself inside her, his hands splaying across her stomach to keep her still against him. But her insides weren't still, and for a panic-stricken moment he feared disaster. Hell, he was drowning in her heat, being seduced by her pulsating muscles. The pleasure was dizzying, and potentially destructive.

No way could he last.

But he was going to, no matter what!

‘Emma, be still,' he warned her sharply, when she began squeezing and releasing him between frantic little wriggles of her bottom.

‘I can't,' she gasped, and came with an intensity which threatened his resolve to give her the experi
ence of a lifetime. It took every ounce of his will not to let everything come to a swift and premature end right then and there.

Gradually, her spasms died away, and he set to making love to her seriously, with a steady rhythm, using his hands to re-arouse her. Her second climax was gentler on him, but no less difficult to ignore. He ploughed on, taking her on to the highest of pleasure zones, where her whole body was so sensitised that the slightest touch of his knowing fingertip had her quivering with delight. Only when he knew he could not last another moment did he take her with him to a third full-blown orgasm.

‘Oh, Jason,' she cried afterwards as he cradled her to him, her body still trembling. ‘Jason…'

‘Hush, my darling,' he murmured as he rocked her gently to and fro. ‘Relax… Go to sleep…'

‘I can't. I… I…'

‘Shh. Don't talk. Just take deep breaths, then let go all your muscles.'

She did as he suggested, scooping in then letting out several huge, shuddering sighs. Her arms and legs finally went very limp.

‘Sleepy,' she mumbled.

‘Yes,' he agreed, stroking her hair.

Once she was unconscious, Jason eased himself from her. Rolling over, he reached for the painkillers she'd left on the bedside chest and which he hadn't taken earlier. He took three. Hell, he needed them. His arm felt as if a mad dog had mauled it, and the rest of him wasn't much better.

But he was content. More content than he'd ever
been in all his life. She might not love him yet, but she would…in time. Ratchitt was history.

Carefully, he rolled back over onto his side and curved his aching arm around the sleeping form beside him.

She didn't stir an inch. Thank God.

J
ASON
woke to the dawn…and more pain. His arm felt as if it had been put through a shredder. His head was aching, as was his whole body.

A sidewards glance showed a curled up Emma, sleeping like a baby.

‘It's all your fault,' he muttered under his breath, but with a wry smile forming. ‘You've totally wrecked me.'

The wreck struggled out from under the covers and staggered downstairs to the surgery, where he dressed the wound, gave himself another shot of antibiotics and swallowed some bigger pain-killing bombs. Only his nudity prevented Jason from wandering out onto the front porch and watching the sun rise. He didn't want to scandalise the people of Tindley any more than he'd already scandalised them. No doubt the news of the night before would be doing the rounds of the town with a speed and inaccuracy which would rival Peyton Place.

Oh, well. At least everything had come out all right. In a fashion. Emma was back home in his bed and Ratchitt was…gone, he hoped. Permanently.

Jason levered himself back upstairs, where he literally ran into Emma, hurrying through their bedroom door in her birthday suit.

‘Oh, there you are, Jason!' she exclaimed. ‘I woke
up and you were gone. I was worried. What have you been doing downstairs? Did you want something? A cup of tea, perhaps? Some breakfast?'

She was babbling, he could see. And blushing. God, he liked it when she blushed.

‘Let's go back to bed,' he said, taking her arm and praying those painkillers kicked in shortly.

Her upward gaze betrayed she was not averse to his suggestion. ‘But…but what about your poor arm?' she protested feebly.

His smile was wry. ‘You weren't too worried about my poor arm in the middle of the night.'

She blushed some more, but her eyes carried warm memories of their lovemaking. ‘That was…incredible, Jason. But then, I knew it would be.'

His eyebrows lifted. ‘You did? How come?'

‘Oh, Jason…' She placed her hands, palms down, upon his chest, reaching up to kiss him lightly on the mouth. ‘You were the one who said sex could be extremely satisfying without love, remember?'

His insides tightened. ‘Yes,' he said tautly. ‘I remember.'

‘But you added that being in love would enhance the experience.'

He stared down at her, that horrible thing called hope doing awful things to his stomach. ‘What are you trying to say, Emma?'

‘I love you, Jason.'

He swallowed a couple of times. ‘You…you wouldn't say a thing like that unless you meant it, would you?'

‘Never in a million years, my darling.'

Oh, God…

Only her lips saved him, her lovely, loving lips, kissing away the shock, taking him back from the threshold of total embarrassment to that place reserved for lovers where their bodies and hearts beat as one and nothing existed but their love and need for each other. They moved together onto the bed to show that love and satisfy their need as man and woman had since the garden of Eden. Afterwards, they lay locked in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking.

Jason felt no pain, only the sweetest of pleasures and the deepest of wonders. Emma loved him. Everything
was
going to be all right.

‘When did you know you loved me?' he asked her, wonder still in his voice.

‘I suspected as much after that incident with Adele,' came her astonishing reply, ‘but I wasn't certain till last night.'

‘When last night?'

‘I'm not sure when, exactly. Last night carried a lot of confusion. Your declaration of love stunned me, Jason. I could not quite believe it. To be honest, I've had trouble believing in our relationship from the word go. It all seemed rather…unreal.'

‘Unreal, Emma? In what way?'

‘Do you have no idea, Jason, how you present yourself to others? Or how you might look to a simple country girl? That first day you came to visit Aunt Ivy, I took one look at you and I thought…wow!'

Jason was staggered. ‘But you didn't even
look
at me!'

‘Oh, yes, I did. Sneakily. And I thought about you afterwards. But not in any real way. You were like some movie star. Way out of my league, but nice to dream about. I found myself looking forward to your visits, just so I could look at you some more. I used to wonder what you were doing here in our little country town, with your trendy clothes, your city sophistication and your incredible style. I tried to picture what kind of woman you'd end of marrying if you stayed. That was why I was so shocked when you asked me. I didn't fit the image I'd made up for your wife in my mind…

‘But Adele did,' she went on. ‘She fitted it like a glove. God, that weekend was ghastly. I don't know how I survived it. I'd been wanting you to make love to me so badly, and I was missing you terribly, when suddenly there was this gorgeous woman standing in my dreary little shop, telling me you would never be faithful to boring little me and that she'd spent most of the weekend in bed with you. When she left I wanted to smash everything in sight. I was so eaten up with jealousy, I couldn't see straight. Nothing else she'd said seemed to matter, only that you'd made love to
her
, and not me. In the end, I just cried and cried and cried. That was when I knew I was far more emotionally involved with you than I'd realised.'

Jason could empathise with everything she felt—and he did. ‘I was the same, believe me,' he said feelingly. ‘The panic I felt when I found out Adele had been to see you was incredible. I should have known I loved you back then. Instead, it didn't hit me
till I saw you walking down the aisle on our wedding day. I was quite blown away, I can tell you.'

Emma shook her head. ‘I probably would have felt the same way about you that day, if I hadn't been worried sick about Dean causing trouble. It wasn't till we were well away from Tindley that I could relax and begin to enjoy being married to you. And I did enjoy it, Jason. Even when I didn't know I loved you.'

‘The sex, you mean?'

‘Yes. Was that wicked of me?'

‘Not at all. Just human. You were ripe and ready to be made love to, Emma. I thank my lucky stars that I came along at the right time in your life.'

‘I'm glad I waited for you, Jason. I'm glad to never made love with Dean. I love you much more than I ever loved him.'

His heart tripped over. ‘You make me ashamed of myself for the way I've treated you these past couple of weeks. My only excuse—and it sounds pathetic—is that I was crazy with insecurity and jealousy.'

‘You need never be jealous of Dean again, Jason. I despise him. I'm well aware that everything he ever told me was a lie, including what he said about you last night. Not that I didn't already suspect as much.'

‘But I thought you were totally taken in by him! The way you were looking up at him, like you were hypnotised.'

‘Not hypnotised, Jason. Shocked. Too much had happened too quickly. I felt totally disorientated. It was only when you walked out that my mind began to clear. I still wasn't convinced of your love for me. I was worried you might just be trying to get me back
with words. But I began to see that everything you'd said about Dean did make sense. His past actions certainly weren't those of a man genuinely in love. His attitude once you'd left didn't endear him to me, either. He became insufferably smug and presumptuous. When he started manhandling me, and telling her how much he loved me, I found myself rejecting his declaration of love much more strongly than I had yours.'

Jason frowned. ‘What do you mean…manhandling you?'

‘Oh, you know. Hugging me and kissing me.'

‘You let him
kiss
you?'

‘I didn't
let
him do anything. He just did it.'

‘I'll kill him!'

‘No, you won't. I don't want you going to jail over that trash. Look, I'm glad I let him kiss me one last time, Jason, because I didn't like it one bit. In fact, I found it quite repulsive. I knew then I felt nothing for him any more, not even a sexual attraction. When he kept insisting that my inheritance meant nothing to him, I just knew he was lying. I wanted him out of my life, and out of Tindley. For ever. But I knew he was not about to give up, not while he thought I was rich. There was no use just saying go away, that I didn't love him any more. Frankly, Jason, I'd already said as much to him on our wedding day, and he simply took no notice. So I told him I was relieved he wasn't interested in my money, because the trustees of my fund had invested all my money into the Asian money market and they'd lost the lot in the 1997 crash.'

‘And had they?'

‘No, of course not. But that's beside the point. Once I said that, you should have seen him back-pedal as fast as he could. Suddenly, my irresistible charms became very resistible. He started talking about how it might not be a good idea if he moved in with me just yet because it might ruin my reputation, and he cared about me too much to do that. He said it might be better if we waited till I got a divorce. When I calmly told him I had no intention of getting a divorce, and that I'd decided to go back to you, he blustered a bit about women never knowing their own minds, and that he would never have come back to Tindley except for me. I then told him that perhaps it might be better if he left Tindley, after which he pretended to be angry and stormed out of the house. He was riding off down the road without a backward glance as I walked up here to you. I doubt he'll be back. He's exhausted Tindley's supply of eligible females. I think he'll try greener pastures.'

Jason didn't doubt it. With a bit of luck, he'd go back to Sydney and look up Adele again. They deserved each other.

He thought of telling Emma about Ratchitt and Adele, but decided there was no point any more. Besides, the last thing he wanted was to keep bringing up old history. Let sleeping dogs lie…

‘Three million,' Emma said abruptly, interrupting his thoughts.

‘Three million what?'

‘Three million dollars. That's how much my trust fund is worth, give or take a few thousand.'

Jason saw the worry in her face and understood it.

‘I knew nothing about this trust fund, Jason,' she elaborated, ‘till after Aunt Ivy's death. She left me a letter in her will about it. She also advised me strongly never to tell anyone about the money. Not till after I was safely married, anyway.'

Jason could appreciate Aunt Ivy's common sense. But Emma's eyes still bothered him. ‘She never told me about it, Emma,' he insisted. ‘Honest.'

‘Oh, I know that. I'm just worried the money might change things between us.'

‘I see…' And he surely did. Money corrupted. ‘Give it away, Emma,' he said firmly. ‘Donate it to some charity. Cancer research, perhaps.'

Her sigh carried a telling amount of relief. ‘I'm so glad you said that. I was thinking the very same thing. Of course, I might keep a little nest-egg, just for emergencies. But the bulk of it can go.'

‘Splendid idea!'

‘Oh, Jason!' she cried, hugging him tightly. ‘I do so love you. I felt so terrible when I came home last night and saw you sitting in that armchair, looking so devastated. I think that was the first moment I really believed you loved me.'

‘And you, Emma? Did you know then that you loved me back?'

‘I'm sure I did, but I just couldn't seem to face it. I don't know why. Perhaps I was afraid to. Then, later, when you made love to me like you did, I…I was just…overwhelmed. But I knew how much I loved you the moment I woke and found you gone. Oh, I knew it then, Jason.'

He could understand that. There was something
about loss—even a temporary one—which stripped the wool from one's eyes.

‘I love you with all my heart,' she said sincerely.

His own heart filled to overflowing. ‘Tell me again.'

‘I love you.'

‘And I love you, dear, sweet Emma. I love everything about you, even your stubbornness.'

Her eyes flickered with surprise. ‘My stubbornness? I'm not stubborn.'

‘Oh, yes, you are, my darling. But that's all right. I wouldn't want you too perfect.'

‘I'm far from perfect.'

‘Not too far,' he murmured, and his mother's words echoed in his mind once more.

You can't have everything in life, son.

But he knew that you could, if what you wanted were the simple things in life. And if you were lucky enough to marry a girl like Emma.

‘Jason…'

‘Yes?'

‘I…um…didn't go on the pill.'

‘That's good.'

‘You know, it worries me a bit, not getting pregnant after all the sex we had. Do you think something could be wrong with me?'

Jason felt his heart catch. But he kept quite calm. Worry and tension were not advisable when a couple were trying for a baby. ‘Now why should there be something wrong with you?' he said reassuringly. ‘Or me, for that matter? These things take time, love.' And he gave her a comforting squeeze.

‘Oh!' she gasped, and smiled a wide smile up at him. ‘That's it, Jason!'

‘What's it?'

‘Love! Before, we were just having sex. But now…now we're making love. We'll make a baby this month. I'm sure of it.'

He forced himself to smile. ‘I'll certainly give it my best shot.'

 

It was the most difficult month of Jason's life. Keeping his emotional cool while making love to Emma till he was exhausted. As the day approached when her period was due, he was beside himself with tension. Which was crazy. Because what he'd said to her was true. These things
did
sometimes take time. Lots of it. To put this kind of pressure on himself at this stage was silly, and potentially destructive.

D-day arrived and went. No period. Another day. Then another. And another. Jason knew he could do a pregnancy test on her—they were accurate far earlier these days—but he didn't dare suggest it. That would betray his escalating tension. And make a big issue of her conceiving.