The Visitor (41 page)

Newcomb Park

I won’t tell You, Lord, that I must have this man, but I will confess that I think he’s wonderful. I know he had those moments when he was angry and upset, but I would want him to forgive me in such a situation. Can I offer any less?

Thank You for Your plan. Help me to wait on it. I could rush ahead easily. I could pace and be vexed with You, but that’s foolish, and I’ve been foolish enough in the relationship with Tate to last a lifetime.

For a moment Cassandra was quiet. She had written to Henry as Edward had suggested, but now she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She stayed in her room, the door shut, and tried to remember some of the verses from Sunday. She ended up opening her Bible but had more to pray about.

When I think of the way You are able to work, I feel amazed. I know Tate did not enjoy his fall or the long days in darkness, but had You never brought him to this place, I might never have met him. Thank You. Thank You for seeing every need so clearly.

Please be with Morland and Lizzy, Father,
Cassandra suddenly remembered to pray.
I want my sister’s happiness, and I don’t wish her to hold back on account of Tate and me. Help her to proceed in You, believing I will be fine.

And in that moment Cassandra knew she would be. She wasn’t overjoyed at the thought of never seeing Tate again, but she knew that God would comfort her heart and give her all she needed.

She cried then, tears of mourning and tears of letting go of her pride and wanting her own way, but also tears of thankfulness that no matter what the outcome, she didn’t have to go through it alone.

The Manse

“And you haven’t heard from Henry since Monday?”

“No.”

“That must be a bit hard.” Judith’s voice was filled with compassion.

Cassandra smiled. “As you can see, Judith, it is really you who’s doing the rescuing today, not the other way around.”

The pastor’s wife shook her head with a rueful smile. “We’ll see how weary you are after a day of reading to the children and going on outings. You may change your mind about that rescue.”

Cassandra only laughed. She was looking forward to the experience, even when the two youngest children joined them and John looked uncertain about his mother’s departure up the stairs.

“Shall we read a book, John and Margaret, or would you rather play outside for a time?”

“A book.”

“Outside.”

Cassandra surprised them both into smiling when she burst out laughing and suggested, “Why don’t we read outside?”

They were all for this, and not many minutes later the three trooped out of doors, coverlet and book in hand.

With little pomp or ceremony, Cassandra settled the counterpane under a large, shady tree, sat down, and opened the book. John sat beside her, ready to listen, but Margaret kept to her feet.

“I thought we were going to play.”

“You can, Margaret. When John and I have read awhile, we’ll probably join you. Or you can sit with us for a time, and we’ll all play later.”

Cassandra could read the indecision in Margaret’s eyes but didn’t wait for an answer. She began to read to the little boy beside her and didn’t even look in Margaret’s direction when she joined them. Wanting to be compassionate, however, she kept the reading time short and soon suggested they play a game.

“Can we play blind man’s bluff?” John wished to know.

“That’s not as fun with only three people,” Margaret told him.

The children began to discuss this, Margaret even suggesting another game, but Cassandra heard little of it. The words “blind man” were still stuck firmly in her mind. They conjured up images of a man no longer blind but still as dear, and many questions about where he was and whether his mind was as preoccupied with her as hers was with him.

Newcomb Park

Henry was so tired of speaking, he thought his head would burst with pain and pressure. Lizzy and Edward had been full of questions, seemingly dozens of them, and in all of this, he still hadn’t seen Cassandra. When they paused for breath, he ventured a question of his own.

“Where is Cassie?”

“She’s at the Hursts for the day, giving Judith some rest.”

Henry stood. “I’m going to lie down before she comes home.”

That he needed some time alone was clear. Brother and sister were quiet as he walked from the room and for several minutes after he left. Cassie would be home in a few hours. Did they tell her all that Henry had to say or leave that to the brother who was exhausted in his efforts toward communication?

The Manse

“How were they?” Judith asked Cassandra at the end of the day. The children were in the dining room with a small meal, and Judith was walking Cassandra to the door.

“Very well. We had a marvelous time. Judith?”

“Yes.”

“We don’t know each other extremely well, but may I tell you something?”

“Certainly.”

“I think Margaret fears you’re going to die.”

“Did she say as much?”

“No, but she questioned me about my mother, and when I told her she was dead, she asked more questions and was very relieved that she hadn’t died in childbirth. I could see the rest all over her face. And as soon as she knew that, she didn’t want to know anything else about my mother. She changed the questioning to life at Newcomb.”

Judith put a hand on the younger woman’s arm, her eyes closing for several seconds, her chest sighing deeply.

“I can’t thank you enough for sharing with me. Frederick and I have been suspicious of something for a while now, but nothing specific has come to the fore. This will help us with the right words and verses, Cassie. Thank you. A thousand times, thank you.”

Cassandra told her not to hesitate to ask again and went on her way. It had been a marvelous day, and she still got to go home. In that, there was always the possibility that there would be word from Henry or Tate.

Newcomb Park

“Your brother is in his study,” Jasper told Cassandra the moment she set foot in the front door.

Cassandra’s heart leaped, but she only thanked him quietly and walked that way. Her knock was a little loud, but Henry didn’t comment.

“How are you, Henry?” Cassandra asked right away. “Was the trip very tiring?”

“A bit, but I’m doing well,” he answered, reminded of her sweetness as she asked about him first.

“Must you return right away, or are you home to stay?”

“I’m home to stay.”

“I’m glad. We missed you. How is Tate?” she asked at last, and her questions, without the anxiety that Lizzy and Edward showed, caused him to believe that their siblings had spoken to her.

“He’s well. I’m sure you’ll hear from him again.”

“Did you get my letter, Henry?”

“No.” He looked surprised. “I must have missed it.”

“It explained to you that I didn’t get a letter from Tate. Your letter arrived on its own.”

“So you don’t know…” Henry said with wonder, his voice trailing off.

Cassandra stood silently, her face looking young and vulnerable.

“He still loves you, Cassie,” Henry took pleasure in telling her, “and deeply regrets the way he treated you.”

Cassandra’s entire body sagged with relief.

“All this time you waited,” Henry said softly, his voice filled with compassion.

“Thank you for going, Henry,” she said quietly. “Thank you so much.”

Henry took the next few minutes to explain the situation to his sister. He ended by saying, “Do not doubt that he cares for you, Cassie, but he must stay in London and sort things out.”

“Of course. Thank you for telling me. Maybe he’ll write to me again.”

“Or you could write him.”

“I would wish to see his letter first, I think. Do you understand what I mean?”

“Yes. I will search for it, Cassie. Maybe it’s in my correspondence or traveling bag.”

“Well, I’ll be here all evening should you find it.”

Henry smiled at her attempt not to pressure him. He was still smiling when she let herself out the door. Once on his own, he prayed for her and for the man in London whose heart must surely be in two places.