The Waitress (39 page)

During her second try, she made the mistake of taking a deep breath and was rewarded by retching before her line. At the end, she looked at her hands while waiting for the director’s version.

‘SukieSue,’ he said. ‘I bloody loved the bit where you retched. So real. So raw. So Dickens’s London. I think Lucie would
definitely
be sickened. Keep that in. But this time I want to see more physical attraction.
That’s
why she’s retching.’ He couldn’t keep the pride out of his grin. ‘She’s revolted not by the man – but by her
attraction
to him.’

She nodded, wide-eyed. An hour later, she was on her way back to the café, giving Greta the run-down.

‘So if I get it,’ she summarised excitedly, ‘it will all be thanks to Hal and his bad breath.’

‘Well done darling, I’ll phone you as soon as I’ve heard.’

As Sukie approached the café, she stopped for a moment, closed her eyes and made a secret wish. Almost as soon as she went in, she knew something was up.

‘Have you heard?’ Patsy called out, before she’d even reached the bar.

‘Heard what?’

‘
Time Out
? We’re good-looking!’ She was jumping on the spot. “Good-looking staff”! We think it was that odd bloke with the moustache in the other day. Isn’t it brilliant? Look!’

Sukie scanned the article desperately hoping this wasn’t
the
last review of her work she’d ever read. Suddenly, she felt very depressed.

‘Wow.’ She handed it back to Patsy. ‘
How
exciting.’ She heard Patsy squealing behind her as she wandered into the kitchen.

She and Matt exchanged preoccupied greetings, Matt being almost physically attached to his mobile phone. As she nodded at Nik and considered seeing what he was cooking today, Patsy was suddenly in between them.

‘She’s seen the review,’ she giggled to Nik. Sukie turned to Patsy. ‘What are you doing in here?’ she asked, her voice cold.

Patsy’s smile froze on her face. ‘It’s OK; Katie’s out front.’

‘Yeah, well, if we only needed one waitress out front Dan wouldn’t have taken you on, would he?’

Patsy gave Nik a confused glance before returning to the café. Sukie apologised to the room in general.

‘Don’t say sorry to us, love,’ said Nik. ‘Say it to Beautiful.’

Sukie decided not to. As she bent down to place her cardi and bag under the counter, Katie came in behind her.

‘Have you seen
Time Out
?’ she grinned.

‘Yeah,’ Sukie forced herself. ‘Well done.’

‘Thanks, well, it’s well done to all of us,’ said Katie.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ scoffed Sukie. ‘It’s all
your
doing.’

‘Fuck off!’ cried Nik. ‘What am I, Scotch mist?’

‘Good question,’ said Sukie. ‘I think you’re more frozen fog actually.’

Nik exploded into a rant about the importance of the
chef
in a café-cum-restaurant and Katie watched them for a while before quietly leaving them to it.

As soon as his shift was over, Matt made his way to Jennifer’s street. The street where the pavement had once disappeared beneath his feet. But not today. Today the pavement was horribly there. He’d had no reply from Jennifer’s mobile all day. And he’d left three messages on her voicemail. And she hadn’t come in for lunch since Thursday. He’d hoped she might pop in for brunch today, but no.

Had she been kidnapped? Was she still alive, even? Was she chopped up in a bin bag somewhere? Or worse, had she chucked him? Had he been too pushy? Had she felt intimidated by his desperate goodnight kisses? Oh God, he had been so forceful, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. Him and his stupid libido. As he turned the corner of her street, he made a solemn oath to himself that if she was alive and still wanted to go out with him, he’d never force so much as a kiss on her again. He approached her house and offered up a prayer.

He rang the doorbell and listened for sounds. After a while, he heard movement from upstairs. He rang again. Someone was coming down. His heart was in his mouth. What would he do if it was her parents? What would he do if –

And there she was!

He stared at her. God, she looked terrible. He must have got her out of bed. This time on a Saturday afternoon? And she was in her dressing gown too. He was right. She’d been ill. Oh, Jennifer! He wanted to take her
in
his arms and make her well again, and then make wild, passionate love to her.

‘Jennifer,’ he explained. ‘It’s me.’

‘Yeah I can see that. What do you want?’

A pair of naked feet appeared on the stairs behind her.

‘I wanted to see how you were,’ he whispered.

‘I was fine till you turned up.’

The feet spoke. ‘Everything all right, babe?’

Jennifer turned round and the feet turned into a man, also wearing a dressing gown. Was this her father?

‘Hello, Mr . . .’ began Matt, before realising he didn’t know Jennifer’s surname.

‘Hello hello hello,’ grinned the man. Funny, Jennifer didn’t take after him at all. ‘Is this one of your little fans?’ said the man. Jennifer didn’t seem to find this half as amusing as the man did. She turned back to Matt and spoke with some urgency.

‘Matt,’ she said. ‘Go away.’

‘W-what have I done?’

‘Just go away.’

‘Is it ’cos I lied to you?’ he said desperately.

She stared. ‘
What
?’

‘When I pretended I was ill? I promise I’ll never lie again, but the spot was massive. It was right on my nose. I can’t believe Eva told you. She swore she –’

Jennifer and the man’s reactions were polarised at this: the man started laughing hysterically, but she saw red.

‘You lied to me?’ she barked. ‘
And
you told that cow?’

‘Yes but –’ he stopped. ‘What?’

‘You complete tosser!’

‘But-but?’

‘I can never trust you again!’ She started to shut the door.

‘It was like I had two noses!’ Matt shouted through the rapidly closing gap.

‘Forget it Matt. It’s
over
.’

And the door slammed in his face.

Stunned, Matt stood there for a while until the hoots of laughter from inside propelled him into movement. He turned round slowly and walked, not knowing or caring where he was going. It was only when he found himself ordering a pint that he even realised he was in the Gnat and Parrot.

He stood at the bar, staring into his glass, blinking and sniffing, blinking and sniffing, blinking and sniffing until, after a while, he realised someone was staring at him. Someone who looked vaguely familiar.

As his size tens thundered on the treadmill, Hugh looked down at the clock. Bloody hell, this was amazing. He’d never run this far in his life, not even before uni. It did help being able to watch all the MTV babes while you did it. Much better than boring old countryside.

In all the years he’d been a member of this gym, he’d never come in on a Saturday afternoon and he’d been amazed to find it so full. It had been like entering another world. Madness really, when you thought about it, considering how much his membership cost, but Maxine had always wanted them to spend their weekends together: shopping or seeing friends or family, even just eating out or going to the cinema.

As he ran, he realised for the first time that being alone might actually be a liberation for him. He could start living the bachelor life he’d thought he’d missed out on. While getting fit at the same time. God, he could actually lose his stomach. This could be the best thing in his whole life. He slowed down the treadmill and got off. He sat on it catching his breath and wiped himself down. There was more sweat than body.

On his way home, he decided suddenly, he’d buy himself one of those lads’ magazines and maybe read it in the pub. Or a cookery book! And a bread maker! He’d really wanted to buy one but Maxine had said they’d never use it. Oh my God – he could buy all the things for the house that she’d vetoed. He wasn’t really
that
broke. Yes. That’s what he’d do. He ran down to the changing rooms. First stop, the kitchen shop.

Back at the café, three full hours after her audition, when Sukie’s mobile finally rang she could barely answer it for nerves. Luckily she wasn’t serving anyone, and she squeezed back through the kitchen and sat on the back stairs. She held her breath before answering.

She knew instantly from Greta’s voice.

‘Darling, it’s shitty news.’

Her tears came fast and furious.

‘You were so close,’ soothed Greta. ‘You’ll get it next time, I just know.’

Sukie sniffed loudly.

‘They
loved
the retch,’ said Greta. ‘They’ve asked Miranda to put that in. The director said it suddenly made him “get” Lucie. Called it a pivotal moment.’

If Sukie had had the energy, she’d have retched now. Instead, she hung her head on her knees and allowed herself time to let this sink in. The thought of going back outside and serving customers, of pretending she cared about a bloody restaurant review in
Time Out
, of coming in day after day and doing everything again and again suddenly wore her out. She started sobbing.

‘You have got to be kidding,’ Dan said to Geraldine, staring at an eggshell-blue teapot with turquoise birds on it and a gold-leaf spout. ‘That is grotesque.’

‘I am most certainly not kidding. It is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,’ repeated Geraldine. She turned to him. ‘Can you imagine having friends round and pouring them tea from that?’

‘Not friends of mine, no.’

‘Well it’s a darn-sight less grotesque than the bloody naked woman vase.’

‘That was art.’

Geraldine sighed heavily and crossed her arms. ‘Why must you fight me on everything?’

‘What?’ Dan managed to exclaim without raising his voice above a whisper.

‘You do,’ hissed Geraldine. ‘Everything’s a fight.’

‘Because believe it or not it’ll be my dinner service too!’

‘You don’t care about a dinner service as much as I do.’

‘Why not?’ Dan choked.

‘You’re a man.’

He stared at her as a couple walked behind them, the man spluttering in sotto voce staccato, ‘If we get
that
, then I get the fucking flat screen.’

Dan tried a smile, but Geraldine didn’t flicker. ‘It wouldn’t be in Harrods if it was grotesque,’ she said.

He let out a snort of laughter. ‘They’ve got exotic pets but that doesn’t mean I want an elephant.’

She stared at him like he was mad. ‘You do talk rubbish sometimes, Daniel.’

Slowly, Matt turned round and faced the vaguely familiar someone who was still staring at him.

‘Hello there,’ she said. A slender, attractive, dark-haired woman was smiling at him.

‘All right?’ he mustered.

‘They give you Saturday afternoon off, do they?’

He blinked at the woman. She smiled. ‘Where’s lover girl?’ she asked. There was a pause and then she leant on the bar. ‘You don’t recognise me, do you?’ He frowned. ‘I’ll give you a clue,’ she said. ‘You usually have eyes for someone else when I come into the café for lunch.’

His eyes widened. He gasped. He tried to remember her name. He failed.

‘Eva,’ she said drily.

‘Eva! Of course.’

‘Blimey, I knew it was bad, but I hadn’t realised how bad.’

‘You look different.’

‘Oh yeah?’ she grinned.

‘Yeah. Much older.’

She gave him a look. ‘Thanks.’

‘No, no, it’s a compliment.’

‘I’m only twenty-one.’

Twenty-one?
Twenty-one
? She was twenty-one!

‘Want a drink?’ she asked.

He nodded.

‘Well?’

There was a pause.

‘Oh sorry,’ he rushed. “Yes please”.’

‘No, I mean what would you like?’

‘Gin and tonic, thanks.’

Matt stared as Eva bought him a drink. She asked about Jennifer and he told her the extraordinary twist of the story, but to his amazement, she didn’t seem half as surprised as he had been. In fact, she apologised.

‘Why are you sorry?’ he asked.

‘Because I work with her, remember? I know the real Jennifer. I know what she gets up to. I could have warned you.’

‘Yeah but you’re her mate aren’t you?’

Eva snorted. ‘Do me a favour,’ she retorted. ‘If I wasn’t trapped in that god-awful office I wouldn’t give her the time of day. I wouldn’t trust her with the lead in my pencil.’

Matt took a gulp of his drink. It was all too much for him. As if he was in a bad sci-fi film and he’d just discovered that his past had been some idealised, yet hologram, reality.

‘So . . .’ he began slowly, ‘let me get this right. Was she really chucking me because I lied to her? Or because it was you I’d told? Or was that just some excuse? Who am I kidding – the other bloke was there in her house, in a dressing gown!’

Eva became serious. ‘Matt, listen. She fancied you. She liked you. Really, she did.’

‘So, why chuck me?’

Eva sighed. ‘She uses everyone. She doesn’t have relationships, she has temporary dependencies.’

‘But why did she want me in the first place?’ Matt asked, almost to himself. ‘I mean what on earth could I have possibly given her that she couldn’t get elsewhere? I mean that bloke she’s with – he’s a
man
. He must be about twenty years older than me.’

Suddenly, Eva grabbed his arm and pointed: ‘Quick, table.’ She darted for it, beating two blokes and an Alsatian. Impressive. Matt sat down next to her. Right, where was he?

‘I bet that bloke doesn’t get zits,’ he moaned. ‘Why was she with me when she can get a man twice her age who doesn’t get zits?’

‘It’s hard to explain. She has issues.’

Matt looked at Eva. ‘Who was he?’

‘Oh, just our boss.’

‘Your
boss
?’

‘You see? Issues.’

Matt got the next drinks in. After which, with some persuasion and alcohol, he found out a little bit about Jennifer’s issues. It turned out that the boss she’d spent the past week bedding had just announced his engagement to one of the other girls in the office – and she had once nicked one of Jennifer’s boyfriends.

‘Are you the other girl?’ he asked in a hushed voice.