The Way Back (19 page)

Okay, maybe she was going to fight the woman. Or at least give her a good slap. Gabby didn’t need to have someone else’s relationship success rubbed in her face right now.

“I look at you and I think in some ways we are alike.”

Young, thin, beautiful and Russian compared to Gabby. She wasn’t seeing it. She was, however, seeing more clearly than ever the resemblance to Jamie. It made her feel both sad and oddly poignant. The idea of him being separated from her all those years was wrenching. Zhanna, too, being separated from her father, not because he walked out, but because she didn’t know he existed was tragic.

It didn’t seem fair. Although why Gabby thought anything in life should be fair after what she experienced, she wasn’t sure.

Zhanna continued, “You have it in you to be brave. I see this in you, too.”

Did she? Gabby didn’t feel brave. Not while she was holed up in her room with tea and cookies. Afraid to talk to her boss, her mother and, most of all, Jamie.

“Did you forgive your mother?” Gabby wanted to know.

Zhanna seemed startled by the question.

“She kept you from Jamie. I don’t know if she told you about him growing up but—”

“She didn’t. Said nothing of him until the end of her life.”

“Weren’t you angry? You could have been with him. You could have had a father all those years. She kept that from you.”

Zhanna nodded. “Yes, she did. Yes, I was angry when she told me.”

“But did you forgive her?” Gabby looked at the woman’s expression and it was suddenly like she didn’t speak English and couldn’t understand a word Gabby was saying even though she knew full well she did.

“Do you love your mother?” Zhanna asked in return.

“Of course. What has that got to do with anything?”

“When your father left, did you forgive her for not being strong enough, not fighting hard enough to hold him?”

The question was absurd. “There was nothing to forgive. It wasn’t her fault. He left us.”

“Yes, but she had something do with it. A marriage, it is two people. You must have been angry with her for not loving him enough, or making him love her enough to keep him.”

Anger spiked through Gabby’s body. “My mother did everything she could. She was warm and wonderful and a good wife. It wasn’t her fault.”

“A good mother to you, yes. But how do you know if she was a good wife? You were a child. You could not understand what their relationship was.”

“No,” Gabby barked. “She was good to him. She kissed him when he came home from work. She had dinner waiting. She listened to him. I was never angry with her because he left. Never. And it wouldn’t have even mattered if I was. Of course I would forgive her.”

“Why?”

“Because I love her!”

Zhanna smiled. “Yes. It is the same with me. Yes, I was angry my mother kept me from knowing my father, but it didn’t matter. We forgive those we truly love. We do this because we are helpless against this love. The question you have to answer is not whether or not you can forgive Jamie. It is simply whether you love him enough. If you do, the forgiveness will come.”

Gabby plopped on the bed next to Zhanna, her energy spent as she considered those words.

“You know, at first I didn’t really like you,” Gabby admitted.

“No, I did not like you. But I do now. Good thing, huh? Since maybe soon I will call you stepmommy.”

Gabby glared at her. “If you ever call me mommy anything in public, then I really will slap you.”

Zhanna laughed and stood. “You must think now so I will leave you.”

Gabby didn’t say anything as the door shut behind Zhanna.

How stupid she had been. Zhanna was right. There really was only one question and one answer.

So what was it?

* * *

J
AMIE
CHECKED
HIS
watch then looked around the beach. He felt like a fool. He’d given her the space she wanted, hoping a night to think things over would be enough. He came down to the beach at his normal time, expecting her to be here.

When she wasn’t, he waited. Then waited some more.

He felt ridiculous. She wasn’t coming and his hope that a little space and time would make everything clear to her seemed very naive of him.

How long did it take to decide if you had enough forgiveness in your heart? Obviously longer than a day.

Jamie cursed and kicked at the rocky sand. Zhanna said he would be a fool if he let Gabby leave the island. What good would it do to keep her here if she wasn’t with him in his home? In his bed?

They needed to talk more. All the relationship books and couples’ counselors said so. Communication. Fine. He would head to Susan’s and bring Gabby back here and they would talk and talk until she damn well figured out she loved him enough to stay.

If this involved a little struggle and possibly a kidnapping, then so be it.

Jamie turned then and headed for his house. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Gabby coming down the hill. Her work-out gear on, her luscious hair pulled into a ponytail. He could see she was trimmer than she had been the first day he met her—not that he cared, but he knew it would please her. Anything that pleased her pleased him.

His heart was beating erratically in his chest and he struggled to keep himself in check and not run up to her and shake her and ask her what her answer was. She had come to him. It was a good thing. He would let her take the lead even if it killed him. If she needed to yell at him, or be angry with him for a while, then that was okay, too.

As long as she forgave him in the end, they would be able to move forward. She was his future. He considered the consequences if she couldn’t get beyond his past. He thought about what the future would look like if she left for good. None of it would be pretty.

It would hurt. Like a bitch. But he was still standing here waiting for her to reach him. He wasn’t running away or doing anything to stop her from coming to him. It had only taken him forty-five years, but he was finally growing up when it came to relationships.

“You’re late,” he said to her when she was close enough.

“I know. I had some thinking to do. I figured you would have already started, but I knew I could catch up to you.”

“Really? You think you’re fast now?”

“I think in the not so very distant future I might even be faster than you. After all, you’re getting older, while I’m still in my physical prime.”

Jamie tried not to tie too much hope to her use of the word
future.

“What do you think about that?” She poked a finger in his chest. “Someday you might have to catch up to me.”

“I’ll like that day,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Because it means I’ll get to follow you and watch your ass in black spandex. That’s hot as hell.”

She laughed and he tried not to put too much hope in that, either. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Gabby, what does this mean? You being here? Are you here to stay?”

“You didn’t ask me if I forgive you.”

Because he’d never been more afraid of an answer in his life.

“The thing is, it’s not the right question. Zhanna was right. There was only one question that mattered. One answer. I’m late because I called my mother this morning. I wanted her to know I was okay. I wanted her to hear my voice and know for the first time in almost eight years I was really okay.”

He felt the pressure in his chest lifting. Being replaced by excitement. “Why are you okay?”

Gabby smiled. “Because I’m in love. The real thing. Deep down to the ground in love. A very wise person told me when you love someone, truly love them, you can’t do anything but forgive them.”

Jamie stepped forward and wrapped his hands around her waist. He pressed his forehead against hers and let himself believe, truly believe, that Gabby was right and everything was okay.

“I will never cheat on you and I will never leave you as long as you want me to stay. I promise.”

Gabby looked at him and he could see the love and trust shining in her eyes. It was humbling.

“I believe you. I will always believe you.”

He kissed her then, tentatively because he still couldn’t believe this was happening. So much happiness, he almost felt a little guilty. As though maybe after what he’d done he wasn’t worthy of so much. Then he pulled her in his arms and decided he would focus on the joy instead.

When he let her go, she gave him a little shove. “We don’t have time for monkey business. We’ve got to go on our run and then we need to pack.”

“Pack?”

“For Houston. You said you wanted me to go with you and I’m going. It’s time for you to get back to doing what you do best. You’re a hero, Jamie Hunter. You’ve got some people on an ailing space station who might like to have a piece of your wisdom.”

“It’s going to be a zoo,” he warned her.

Gabby nodded. “Yep. But it’s going to make an excellent last chapter in your book.”

With that she took off at a pretty fast clip. Jamie gave her a head start to make her think he actually might have to struggle to catch up with her. At some point he was going to have to tell her he wouldn’t let her write a book about him. But he would wait for the right moment.

Like on their honeymoon.

EPILOGUE

One year later

“I
THINK
YOU
should walk with Armstrong.” Jamie was finishing his stretching on the beach and Gabby envied him his fluid movements.

Gabby scowled. “I don’t want to walk with Armstrong.”

Armstrong, the Golden Retriever puppy, whimpered and rested his face on his mother’s sneaker.

“Are you going to leave him behind when you know his legs are too short to keep up?” Jamie asked, knowing the thought of leaving the puppy behind would make her upset.

Gabby shook her head. “I swear, I think you got him now on purpose.”

Jamie lifted his hands in the air innocently. “Tom had a litter of puppies, I was helpless to turn this guy away.”

Gabby once again looked at the new puppy who was waiting to see which one would stay and walk with him on the beach because he wasn’t ready to run for long periods of time yet. His sweet face and trusting expression was a guarantee, it was going to be her. Heck, she felt guilty leaving him to use the bathroom.

“Fine, it will be me. But I’m walking at a brisk rate.”

“Honey, you do whatever you want.”

“I want to run,” she said stubbornly. “Look at me, I’m huge. I need the exercise.”

Jamie came around her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, his hands joining over her significant belly as he nibbled a little on her ear.

“You’re not huge. You’re pregnant. And while I know the doctor said it was okay for you to run, I think walking is a much better idea in your delicate condition.”

“Aha! I knew it. You don’t want me to stay back for Armstrong, you’re afraid the baby is going to jiggle out or something.”

“Good lord, can that happen?”

Gabby wiggled out of his hold so she could face him. “I’m not going to shatter. Just because I’m a little older than most women having their first child doesn’t mean I’m any more delicate.”

“What about me? I’m really old to have a baby, too. Think of the stress I’m under. My weak heart.”

Gabby snorted. “Your weak heart. It didn’t feel so weak this morning when you woke me up for a little…how did you put it?”

“Oh, I put it good,” he teased.

“Morning nookie?”

“Don’t slam morning nookie. It’s almost as good as stair sex.”

“I’m only saying I don’t want to be coddled. Yes, we’re going to be older parents but we’re not invalids.”

“Got it. We’re not invalids. But someone still has to hang back with Armstrong.”

Gabby relented. “Fine. It’s just I’ll have no one to talk to.” Armstrong barked. “I meant someone human, baby.”

“I can call Zhanna to come walk with you,” Jamie offered.

“No. She’s worse than you and my mother combined with the fussing. The other day she started doing this weird thing with my wedding ring to see if I was going to have a boy or a girl. She’s practically insisting I give her a baby sister. I told her if she wanted a baby so much to go have one of her own.”

“Whoa,” Jamie groaned. “No need to rush the baby talk. She and Tom have decided on a long engagement and that’s fine with me. I don’t want to be a grandpa and a new father at the same time.”

Gabby considered this. If Zhanna and Tom did decide to have a baby soon after they were married, there would be someone on this planet who would soon be calling her grandma. She was having a hard enough time with the idea of someone calling her mom.

“You’re right. No need for Zhanna to rush into motherhood.”

“Listen, you’ll probably like the quiet time. You can think about the book stuff, figure out what the next chapter will be.”

Now Gabby knew he was really laying it on thick. “You hate that I’m writing this book, but you want to give me quiet time to think about it? Talk about a load of bull.”

“I don’t hate the book,” Jamie argued. “If Paula wants to share her story with the world, I’m okay with it. I was sort of hoping you could take out all the parts about me.”

“Not going to happen. You agreed I had carte blanche to write about anything Paula was willing to share. That includes you.”

Jamie sighed, but he didn’t continue to argue. While he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of his life being out there on a bookshelf, he’d agreed for Paula’s sake. This was about her and her journey. After everything that happened between them, the least he could do was support her.

Gabby had been the only person Paula could even think about trusting with her story. Which made Gabby’s former boss Melissa one very happy editor as McKay Publishing won the rights to the book. Gabby had been fired as an editor and immediately hired as Paula’s biographer.

Strange as it was, the two Mrs. Hunters had become very close friends through the process of telling Paula Hunter’s story.

“Well, go on,” Gabby insisted. “I’ll walk with Armstrong and think about the book. You run and we’ll meet you back at the house.”

“I love you,” he said as he kissed her on the nose before taking off down the beach.

She watched him jog away and had no worries about how he would handle being a new dad. He was fit and active and more excited by this baby than by anything she could imagine. When they first learned she was pregnant, he said being a dad to this baby was going to be more exciting than rocketing into space. She believed him.

She always believed him.

After he got a few yards away though he stopped and turned around. She wondered if maybe he had a rock in his sneaker or if he possibly turned an ankle.

“What’s the matter?” she asked as he approached her.

“I didn’t like it,” he said.

“You love running.”

“I know. But I didn’t like leaving you behind. Felt weird.”

Gabby decided it was hormones making her eyes mist up and not sentiment. She wasn’t that corny. Oh, who was she kidding? Around him she was exactly that corny.

“You could walk with me and Armstrong. Just for the next few months,” she offered.

He took her hand and Armstrong hopped around their ankles apparently pleased to have both his parents staying behind with him.

“Sounds like a plan to me. We need to stick together.”

“Always,” Gabby agreed.

* * * * *