The Way Back (7 page)

She knew she couldn’t hide out in the guest room forever. She had to have some courage. Opening the door she was hit by the smell of bacon.

Bacon was so good. A man who ran five miles a day could probably eat all the bacon he liked. Bastard.

“Jamie!” The front door opened and closed and from the second floor landing Gabby could see Zhanna glide—there really was no other word for it—across the living room. Jamie met her halfway out of the kitchen. He had an apron tied around his waist. It was yellow and for some reason made Gabby’s heart stop.

Zhanna wrapped herself around him and he patted her back. “I’m
so
sorry about Shep.”

“It’s all right.”

“But we all loved him. Even Adel, although she wouldn’t let him inside the diner.”

“I know. He was a good dog.”

Gabby watched the scene and thought about what Melissa had said. She doubted Zhanna was a supermodel who worked part-time as a waitress, but with her long, lean body and fascinating face it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. Yes, those two hooking up made way more sense than Gabby hooking up with the guy. Walking into the guest room, she grabbed her phone and tapped on the camera.

As she descended the stairs, she called to the two of them. “Hey, guys, say cheese.”

They both turned in the direction of her voice and she snapped the picture. She looked at it as she got to the bottom of the steps, and felt her heart skip a beat. A horrible thud that reminded her she wasn’t worthy. They looked really good together. As though they fit somehow.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jamie barked. He moved out of Zhanna’s arms and walked toward Gabby with purpose. She didn’t even consider backing away because she couldn’t imagine what would have pissed him off so much. He took the phone from her hand and started messing around with her pictures.

“Hey, it’s just a photo. My editor wanted proof I actually met you.”

His face tight, he handed her the phone. “It’s deleted. Next time ask before you take a picture.”

“What is
she
doing here?” Zhanna asked.

“I had to let her stay since Susan kicked her out of the B and B.”

“Yes, Susan kicked her out. I told her who she really was. She lied to Susan and told her she was a fiction writer. What bull.”

Gabby winced. She hadn’t meant to lie to Susan, she’d simply wanted to spare herself the woman’s disapproval. Really, it was the same with Melissa. Lying to seek approval and esteem from others wasn’t the best habit to develop, Gabby knew. But apparently her self-preservation streak was alive and well.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Gabby offered. “Can you appreciate my life is on the line here?”

Jamie barked a laugh. “No, sweetcakes, I cannot.”

Fair enough. The man had been to war. Had risked his life in a space walk to save others. Lying to save her job wasn’t exactly on the same level. “Okay maybe not my actual life, but my professional one and it’s almost as important to me.”

“You leave him alone.” Zhanna growled the words in her heavily accented voice.

For whatever reason it was enough to piss Gabby off. She took an aggressive step forward. “Yeah, and what if I don’t? What are you going to do about it?”

“Are you two serious?” Jamie stepped between them. “Enough. Zhanna there is bacon in the kitchen. Go make yourself some eggs and eat.”

She left with a sulky pout and Gabby thought about what it would be like to slap her, even though she’d never hit anyone in her life before. Not even her half-sister when she was explaining why she and Brad were meant for each other.

“What are you doing?”

Gabby shrugged. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. I just— I can’t go back. Not yet. Please don’t make me go back.”

He sighed. “Go upstairs and get your purse. I’ll follow you to Susan’s and I’ll talk to her about letting you stay.”

Gabby smiled. “You will?”

“Don’t get all mushy about it. I don’t know what it buys you other than more time away from your boss. I’m not going to do the book, Gabby. I’m never going to do it.”

Gabby considered what he was saying. “Can I still meet you on the beach and run with you?”

“You mean for the whole five minutes you can keep up?”

“I was planning on going for six today.”

Jamie shook his head. “What is it about you? Do what you want. It’s a free country. But stay out of Zhanna’s way, okay? I don’t need the drama of you two fighting.”

“I’m not really a fighter anyway.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Gabby ran upstairs to get her purse and Jamie called out to Zhanna that he would be back in a few. Gabby considered asking to stay for bacon, but decided she shouldn’t push her luck. Then she pulled out her camera again. “About the proof I need—”

“No pictures. I hate having my picture taken. I especially hate it when I don’t know it’s coming.”

That made sense. A man dogged by paparazzi would have some battle scars.

“How about this, then?” Gabby was pointing to the wall. It was the medal he received for service to his country. In a ceremony shortly after the space station crisis it had been pinned to his chest. There had been a brass band, the flag behind him and his wife at his side.

Now the medal was behind glass and looked very formal. She recognized the signature of the president at the time in the certificate below.

He looked at the medal, then quickly looked away as if he was embarrassed he had it hanging on his wall. “Sure. Whatever.”

She snapped the picture then put away her phone. She wondered at his behavior. She wondered about a lot of things when it came to Jamie. Good thing she had another two weeks to try and figure him out.

CHAPTER SIX

J
AMIE
HIT
THE
bell on what served as the front desk for Susan’s inn. She came out of the kitchen with a dishrag in her hands and a smile on her face.

That is, until she saw Gabby.

“Hello, Jamie,” she said stiffly. “I am very sorry to hear about Shep. I’m making you some muffins right now. Apple cinnamon to help you grieve.”

Jamie smiled and remembered for the second time that day Shep wasn’t sitting in the back of the pickup truck outside waiting for him. He wondered how long it would take to get used to his absence.

“Thanks, Susan. Listen, I need a favor. I need you to take her back.”

The older woman huffed. “She lied to me. Said she was a fiction writer. I didn’t know she was coming here to snoop on you. I know how you feel about snoops and such. I kicked her right out the front door. I said to myself, ‘Susan, are you going to let this person stay in your establishment just because you don’t have any other guests right now?’ Then I answered myself, and said ‘Certainly, I am not.’”

“Yeah, well, she’s not a very good snooper. She can’t get so much as a secret recipe out of me. She’s just someone trying to not to lose her job. She can’t stay with me and there’s no other place on the island that’s habitable this time of year.” He still wasn’t quite sure why he was helping Gabby. They were at an impasse on all fronts—she wanted his story, which he had no intention of giving her, and he wanted to have sex with her, which she had no intention of agreeing to. Absolutely no winning here. So why not let her go home?

“Can’t she go home?”

“Hey, you know I’m standing right here,” Gabby announced.

Jamie glared at her. A little less attitude would go a long way to convincing him to continue vouching for her. “You want your two weeks or what?”

“Sorry.”

“Susan. As a favor.”

Susan clearly couldn’t resist. “You know I would do anything for you. If it weren’t for you fixing my roof, Jamie, we would be closed for the whole summer season.”

“She won’t cause you any trouble.” He hoped.

“Fine. I’ll take her in and I’ll feed her breakfast and keep her room neat, but I’m not promising my normal sunny welcoming service.”

“I’ll live,” Gabby muttered.

“Thank you, Susan. I really appreciate this.” He shot Gabby another look and mouthed the words
play nice.
“I’m out of here, then.”

Heading outside he continued to mull over why he’d made it okay for her to stay here. He wasn’t normally such a sucker for female desperation. Okay, check that. He was a sucker. A full-blown sucker.

But he thought he’d been working on it. Honing his bastard persona as much as possible so he would be left alone except for the few people on this island he cared about. Obviously squaring Gabby away with Susan wasn’t going to win him any mean metals.

After what Gabby had done, being there for his dog when he’d needed someone, then waiting for him all day yesterday while he had to do the suckiest thing a person could do with a beloved pet, made her different in his mind.

She’d stayed with him. Drank with him.

Then she stabbed a knife through his heart by telling him she might have had sex with him if he wasn’t a known cheater.

Yeah, Gabby was different all right.

The worst part was he knew she wanted him even before her hesitant confession. He was a man of a certain age. He’d certainly been around the block more than once. When mutual chemistry happened it happened. And between him and Gabby, it happened.

She wanted him. He wanted her. Period.

But she was letting his past get in the way and he couldn’t say he blamed her. He’d had to accept what he did and what people, especially women, thought of him a long time ago.

In fact, he usually relished these moments. When he didn’t get something he wanted, he thought it was good for him. A growing experience. A lesson in humility for a guy who, albeit through hard work and discipline, had gotten most of the things he desired.

Jamie had sculpted out an existence for himself that he thought he’d been in full control of. Control was everything in a pilot’s world. It’s how you climbed into the cockpit of an F-16 fighter and told yourself everything was going to be okay. Because you were in control of the machine. Even though in reality that control was a complete illusion.

Which is why when he was younger and things didn’t go his way, he dealt with it poorly. Immaturely. Now as a grown-up, when things didn’t go his way he prided himself on accepting it. The experience helped him to become a better person. At least he hoped so.

Only this time, not getting what he wanted—aka Gabby—annoyed him. Mainly because he couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to get her to lose some of that self-consciousness and let loose in bed. Man, oh, man would that be a fun ride. Like a liftoff into space that rattled your whole body from teeth to nuts.

“Hey, wait up.” Gabby quickly approached, her hair swinging.

He stopped as he reached his truck and thought again of what he might do with the long bouncing ponytail.

Let it go.

“So what time were you thinking of heading to the beach?”

He should tell her to get lost. Let her take the next few weeks to figure out what she was going to tell the people in New York and move on. It’s not as though she was staying permanently so even if anything did happen between them, it wouldn’t amount to more than a few good nights of sex.

A few very good nights of sex.
Man, he missed sex.

It was time he stopped kidding himself. The truth was he’d kept her here for a reason. He wasn’t quite ready to let this one go. “Usual time, early afternoon.”

“Okay. So I’ll see you, then.”

“But here is the deal—”

“I need a deal to run?”

“You call what you do running?”

She frowned. “Fine, slow jogging. The question still stands—I need to make a deal to torture myself?”

“No, you can do that all you want. But if you want to talk to me, ask me questions, then there has to be something in it for me. You think you’re getting closer to me so that I’ll agree to the book. What do I get?”

“My scintillating company?” she suggested.

“Not quite the equal trade I had in mind.” He looked her directly in the eyes so there would be no mistaking his intent. “I want the opportunity to seduce you.”

She snorted. Then rolled her shoulders forward, then made an attempt at laughing.

“I mean it. I know what you said last night. I know trust is probably an issue with you and, on paper, I look like a guy who can’t be trusted.”

“On paper? How about on TV, on radio—”

“Yeah, I get it. But I’m still putting it out there. I’m going to try to seduce you. The way I see it, either my past is too big of an issue for you and we won’t get busy—win for you. Or, if you were telling the truth last night and you do want me, then eventually I’ll convince you to trust me enough to sleep with me. Win for me and, if I may be so bold, another win for you. If you’re really worried about my past and are afraid I will succeed, you’ll stay away. Also win for me.”

Gabby glanced around. “I’m sorry. Did I suddenly find myself on the set of a bad romantic comedy? Is this some kind of joke to you? I told you how I felt.”

“And I’m telling you how I feel. I want you, Gabby. Like hell on fire. Maybe because I’m a sucker for women in distress. Maybe because I can think of about fifty things I’m going to do with your hair once I get you naked. Maybe because it’s been a long damn time and I’m a man and not a damn robot. You want to run with me? Fine. I’m going to use my—” he put his fingers up to make little rabbit ears “—charm on you.”

She rolled her eyes and he smiled. At worst she was keeping his mind off Shep. Gabby was nothing if not entertaining.

“See you this afternoon. Around one.”

“You think I can’t handle a little
charm?
Bring it on. We’ll see just how irresistible your
charm
is.”

As funny as her trash talk was, he wasn’t listening anymore. He was getting in his truck and shutting the door.

“I’ve interviewed charming men. Did I mention Kevin Bacon? He was very charming.”

Jamie started the engine and cupped his hand to his ear as if to tell her he could no longer hear her. Then he held one finger up to remind her of the time.

She was still shouting something at him as he pulled onto the street and left the sight of her in the rearview mirror.

* * *

Z
HANNA
WAS
POURING
the eggs for the second omelet into the skillet when she heard the door open. “Good. You make perfect time.”

“Smells good,” Jamie announced as he walked into the kitchen.

“It is. I already ate mine.”

“You know you don’t have to cook for me.”

She shrugged. “I like to cook for you. And you like to eat what I cook, so shut up and do it.”

He laughed and sat at the table. They chatted while the omelet finished cooking, then she served it along with a heap of bacon and some wheat toast.

“So…” Zhanna said, sitting across from him. “Her?”

“Don’t start with me.”

“Why not? I can’t help it if I’m protective of you. I mean, we have our thing and it’s our special thing alone. But I think it gives me the right to tell you when I believe you are making a mistake.”

“She’s not a mistake yet. She’s just a girl I happen to like who will be staying a couple of weeks at most. It’s nothing permanent, Zee. A fling at best. You know I won’t go there again.”

Zhanna frowned. “So you told me. I think this is also a mistake.”

“Well, then it will be my mistake. Like the thousand other ones I’ve made in my life.”

Sensing his heels were dug in, she tried another approach. “What if she starts to really dig into your past, what then?”

“Zee, she’s not going to find anything if that’s what you’re worried about. No one on the island will tell her jack and she’s sure not going to get any real answers from me. All she’ll get is what’s already been printed about me.” He wiggled his eyebrows as he took a bite of the omelet. “I’m going to impress her with my space stories.”

“Yes, yes. Jamie—the big hero in space. I’m sure that will have her dropping her American panties in no time.”

“Hey.” He swallowed. “No panties talk. It’s weird with you.”

“Because you are not a grown-up. In Russia relationships are very easy. We are all grown-ups from very beginning of life. You have to be if you want to survive.”

Jamie put down his fork. “Are you happy here, Zee?”

Such a strange question. “Of course I’m happy. I’m in America. I have own apartment, a green card and job. Ask any Russian and they will tell you this is a combination for a lot of happiness.”

“Yes, but what about your dreams. What about meeting someone?” She started to protest, but he interrupted. “Yes, I know. We have our special thing. But this is a really small island and there is a very big world out there. If you ever wanted to leave and go see it, I would be okay with that.”

She didn’t like that his words hurt. She didn’t like that, by him simply saying it, she felt a little lonelier. Now that she was here, she didn’t want to leave. Didn’t like him even thinking she could leave. “You want me to go so you can be with this other woman on your own.”

“No,” he said roughly. “What you and I have is not related to what I may or may not have with Gabby.”

“
Gabby.
Blah. Sounds like a chubby girl’s name.”

“Zee. I’m trying to be serious.”

Exactly. Serious was not for her. Serious was for people not trying to avoid their life, which she very much was. When you had no past and you could see no future it was best to stay in the moment. Zhanna felt there was never a good reason to make the moment too serious.

“I think you are grieving Shep and it is what makes you say all these things.”

“Maybe. I’m not going to lie. I’m lonely without him.”

“You could get a new puppy.”’

He shook his head. “I’m not ready. Shep deserves a little sadness on my behalf. It will make his life that much more meaningful.”

Zhanna thought about her mother and how little time she’d actually taken to grieve. Yes, there had been sadness. There was always the sadness. But spending time and space letting herself be sad, that hadn’t happened. There had been too much to do.

It made her feel serious all over again. That was the problem with Jamie. With him she always felt like their
thing
was a like a weight on both their backs. They easily carried it, but it was impossible not to be aware it was there.

“Okeydokey. I will leave you with your grief. But just know with this girl I see something there. In her eyes. She’s desperate. And it’s never a good thing to mess around with a desperate woman.”

He smiled and gave her a wink, which meant he was absolutely not listening to her. Well, he would see and she would do what Adel called an I-told-you-so dance, which she would like very much, she thought.

Leaving Jamie’s place Zhanna felt a little adrift. It was her day off and she considered what she might do with her time. Jamie’s words about leaving the island and seeing the big world came back to her. Maybe she should take her used car—bought with her own money she was proud to say—and go as far across the country as it would take her. She could see this big place called America that was now her home and—

And what? Feel lost in it? Much like she had back home before she decided to come here. After her mother died there didn’t seem any point in staying.

Again, she thought of her mother. Gone too soon from ovarian cancer. She had been a brilliant woman. A scientist. She loved her work and she loved discovery. When Zhanna was a child, her mother would leave her at the daycare and always say she was sad to kiss Zhanna goodbye for now, but there were big things for her to do that day. Answers she needed to find for the world.

Then when the cancer came, suddenly it was like someone had pulled a plug somewhere. Years of treatments, years of bad news, then worse news. Until finally in the end she was drained of everything. First her energy, then her passion, then her hope until finally death claimed her and left Zhanna wondering what to do next, where to go.