The Way Home (Lights of Peril Book 2) (10 page)

“Would you please, please, please, please, please, please, please stop talking?”

-Ernest Hemingway

I have
effectively evaded Ace all week, meaning he’s still livid and continues to avoid me. He’s wounded. I get that. I was a bitch to let him continue working my body into submission. I know Ace, though. He loves me and will understand my hesitancy to commit to being more with him. There will be a day I’m ready to let someone in again, just not now.

Tonight we are headed to Shell Horn’s to give
Peyton our goodbyes. She doesn’t leave for a couple of weeks yet, but she is wrapped around making her Gramma comfortable with the move, so she’s moving this as fast as she can so no one has time to overthink the big decision.

Sadly, I’ve already c
ome to the realization she’s leaving. It sounds so bad admitting that this loss I’m experiencing is small, in comparison to others.

I’m expecting
a packed house with the babysitting crew coming tonight. Patrick has a minor ear infection. Almost nonexistent said the pediatrician who I bullied into giving me antibiotics, just in case it got worse. His Uncle Shame has invited others to stay with him on duty since he had committed to watch him while we all went out.

Shame is scared of a little boy with a slight fever and
possible
ear infection. If Shame wasn’t built like a tree, covered with tattoos, abrasive as hell, and dominant by nature, I would swear he was nothing but a scoop of mush. This will never be said out loud, ever.

So
, once he heard that Patrick was not feeling well, he immediately told Honor he was helping. Ace apparently wanted to be here as well. He’s bringing Cherry since she’s going with us. He’s been trying to get back into Shame’s good graces, but it isn’t going well. Since Mace told me that Shame is still getting phone call after phone call from ‘others’, he’s having us watched more than ever. Tonight, he’s having three of the club brothers come with us. I don’t know who they are and I can’t say that I care.

While waiting for the
cavalry to arrive, I’m in my bathroom to put finishing touches to my face and hair. I have always loved dressing up, even to just run common, every day, household errands. I never used to sit in my flannel pajama pants eating cookies and feel sorry for myself. This used to drive Mace, Shame, and Hem crazy. I would make us late to everything because I refused to miss an opportunity to be a girl. I’m not able to reminisce for long because there’s a knock on the door.

Putting my boy back in his seat
, I make my way to the door as I sigh, hoping it isn’t Ace. I would prefer not having another awkward moment alone with him before everyone else gets here. I am so enveloped in my own inner embarrassment in regards to Ace that it’s not until after I open the door it occurs that I should have checked to see who it was
first
.

I v
aguely, I remember Mace telling us about one of her dad’s ‘boys’ from the Angels, and since Hem’s death we haven’t heard anything from them, just as we knew we probably wouldn’t as Warren’s revenge was exacted in Hem’s death. As I look into his face I now remember word for word Mace’s description of the man before me. She was scared in her recollections and I find myself mirroring her sentiment.

“You Sadey?
You Hem’s woman?” His face is all scarred up and he’s staring at me with a look that seeks absolute vengeance.

“Who are you?”
My voice is shaking and I’m terrified to answer. I try to close the door but he puts his foot against it, holding it open with his boot, maintaining his glare.

“Bitch, I asked you a fuckin’ question.
Are you his woman
?”

He lo
oks around me into the house as his gaze zeroes in on Patrick. I quickly make another attempt to shut the door, but he shocks me further when he lets a loud growl, “Jackpot, you’re still here!” Then he simply walks away.

What the
fucking hell was that?

I’m cursing myself for answering the door without looking
. Shame has warned me to be cautious. Moving quickly throughout the house I close all of the blinds, locking windows, front and back doors.

As I make
my way down the hall I stop when something from inside Mace’s old bathroom catches my eye through the crack of its door. No one uses this bathroom since she’s moved out unless I have a guest.

My skin on the back of my neck
tingles, furthering my nervousness at what might be behind there. I move to push it all the way open, but it doesn’t open like it should, something from behind is stopping its motion.

Once
I’m inside I find what has blocked it and I scream so loud the echoes from the enclosed space pierces my own ears.

On the wall, behi
nd the door is a note pinned with a knife. I’m not about to touch it, or anything around the bathroom for that matter. I can barely make out the handwriting on the paper with the knife’s blade blocking the words. It looks like a child wrote it, but what I can make out of it makes me vomit on the floor before I can even try to turn towards the toilet.

“
He fucked up, Sadey girl. Payment is due.”

With P
atrick still sleeping in his infant chair, I pace the floor manically as I dial for Shame first. His disposition would be calm compared to my current special brand of crazy. When I get no answer there, I hang up and start to make the next call on my list, Gunner. Fuck, someone answer the damn phone. Nothing from Gunner, either. Really?

Finally
, before my freak out reaches its peak, I hear laughing and the opening and shutting of car doors. I race to front door,
looking outside this time
. Once I see Shame step away from his truck I swing the door open, leaving it open behind me and take off towards him. He sees my concern and senses my panic, and meets me with open arms. Then, by all accounts, I lose it …
completely
.

“Someone was here, just now.
They were asking about Hem, if I was his woman. My husband is dead and they ask if I’m his woman? Shame, please, I know you have to know what is happening. Please, you have to tell me. Jesus, they knew what Hem
nicknamed
me
. No random stalker would know those personal things.”

“Shhh, Sadey
. Honey, you’re okay. Take a breath. Explain. Not a good time to get lost in emotion, baby. I need you here. Focus on me.” He motions with two fingers from my eyes to his.

I do not have time for a fuckin’ Zen moment, nor is this the time to assume I’m sayin’ shit trying to be dramatic
. What the fuck is wrong with these people? I’m giving it all to him, no backtracking. Let him figure out what to do with it.

“That’s not all
. In the bathroom Shame, go look. There’s a note stuck with a knife pinned to the wall. Oh my God. What the fuck is happening? Someone was
inside
my house! Where I live. Where my
son
lives.”

I’m not mental yet, but I’m close.
Shame just holds me tighter and walks me inside to Patrick. Honor and Gunner are both here and follow us inside. Mace hasn’t said a word, but her olive skin is pale.

A few minutes later, Shame comes out of the bathroom, down the hall to us, and he is pissed.
His jaw is working and his temple pulses to its beat. I’ve seen Shame angry, but this is a whole new level of fury.

In his right hand, he holds
the crumpled note. In his left hand, the knife that had pinned it to the wall. He immediately starts barking off orders to Gunner. “Cherry and Ace are on the way. Once they get here, I want you to take the girls to the club and stay there with them. Don’t let them leave your fuckin’ sight. Got that?”

Shame is looking into Gunner as if
to see if Gunner may have more information that he is still not sharing. His reaction to this entire situation is curious and nerve racking. How is he not out of his fuckin’ mind right now?

My mind races with questions
none of these people seem to want to answer. “I don’t know what it is you all are trying not to say in front of me, but enough. This is crazy. Mace spooks me at work, Cherry has a ‘visitor’ while I’m gone, someone was
in my house
and put a threatening letter posted with a knife, and to top shit off, some scar-face, scary-ass man shows up and wants to know if I’m Hem’s woman. I’m walking the edge here. Someone better talk to me, damn it!
This is my life
!”

“Wait, just wait.”
Finally, Mace! Finally your ass is starting to wake the hell up. She’s grabbing her big stomach, as if she’s trying to hold her child. Her hands are shaking and she sways a bit.

“I’m sorry
. I just … my stomach is tight, is all. Sadey is right. If you guys know something, you need to tell us. The last secret, you know, you all know… it killed my brother.” She hesitates as she finishes her sentence because the tears start to take over.

Shame walks
swiftly to her and puts his hands on hers as she holds Ryder, protecting him, while he’s still inside her. I don’t need the emotional snapshot that eluded me during my pregnancy, but I can’t turn away.

“Sweetheart, I’ve got this.
I need you to take Sadey tonight. Take Kegs and Cherry, too. I’m going to ask Honor to come get Patrick and take him to Peril. Bloom can do as much as fuckin’ Bloom can do to help watch Patrick. Raider can help her. It will be fine.”

I glance to Honor
. He’s standing behind April and has his hands on her hips, gripping her to him, and his knuckles are white. Hell, if Honor is even nervous about letting go of April, then we have a big fuckin’ problem. She hasn’t so much as been approached and he’s nervous for her. What the fuck is coming at me?

Freak-out
commencing, starting … now. “Uh, no. That’s not happening… Patrick’s not leaving and I’m sure as hell not leaving my son with Honor and Bloom. Seriously? What the hell are you thinking, Shame? Jesus, how is it that I’m the crazy one out of all of us… because I hear dead people talking to me. You are considering leaving my son with Bloom, who let’s all admit, hasn’t a clue how to take care of
herself
, let alone
my son
.”

That didn’t sound nice
. “Honor, no offense directly at you, but I’m scared and fuck if you guys aren’t giving me answers, and now I’m cussing like a damn sailor in the Pacific and I don’t like it. So, either tell me what is going on, or I’m not moving, and you love me too much to hurt me by throwing me over your shoulder so soon after delivering, so it would just be easier on us all if you would
please just talk
.”

Shame is at my side in a
flash. Mace just stares at him and continues to hold her stomach as she winces in pain. I remember feeling Patrick punch me in the ribs. She has a little Shame in there, so she hurts the same.

Shame bends down, adjusting himself so he’s at eye level with me while holding my chin with
his hand, griping it tightly, ensuring I don’t look away.

This isn’t good.

“Buddy,
I’m about to piss you off, so I’m going to say this as quickly as I can, because I can see you’re upset and I just do not have the time to hold your fuckin’ hand through this shit that I’m walkin’ knee deep in right now.

“
Get your fuckin’ shit, Sadey. Do what I tell you and don’t argue with me about this. Whatever that fuckin’ animal was doing here in your house does not spell ‘good’. You are going to go out with the girls as planned. You are going to have Gunner there, along with some of the other brothers. You are sure as fuck going to let me have Honor take Patrick away tonight, and lastly, you are going to shut the hell up.”

He stops, daring me to open my mouth to raise an argument
. Frankly, I’m passed pissed right now, so I don’t have anything to say, but of course, he’s not finished.

“
Do you understand what I’m saying to you or do you need me to stop wastin’ my fuckin’ breath on this and move you where I need you to be my-own-fuckin’-self?”

“
Wow, asshole. I would just rather…”

His face turns
from angry to vehement. From the side I see Gunner approaching, putting his hand on Shame’s shoulder, trying to get Shame’s attention away from me, but Shame’s way too pissed to let it go.

“Rather
? Fuck that, Sadey… you would rather, what exactly? Rather make decisions that you don’t know anything about and do what? Fuck. Just months ago I buried my best fuckin’ friend and now you’re asking me to just leave you in probable danger and let you run this? Get your shit, Sadey.
You are wasting my fuckin’ time
.”

Shame has never talked to me like this, ever.
He is livid right now because he thinks I’m trying to take away his control. Hell, I know what
that’s
about. Hell, I understand what it’s about. He’s reflecting on the night he was too late to get to Hem.